Topic : 11/15 Dr. Phil and Robin's First Wives Club, Part 2

I question if anyone in our reality will ever be happy with who they're with.  Being single myself and observing people who are in relationship, whether it be married or not, it amazes me how disrespectful some are towards the other...Walk away I think to myself.  Walk away... 

God bless  

I talked with my husband last night regarding the whole cheating subject.   I asked him why he cheated on his ex-wife (they were divorced in 2000).  He said that she wouldn't cook, clean and refused to have sex with him.  His family also told me that she was abusive toward him.  I asked him if I was doing everything that I needed to do to make him happy.  He looked at me as if I were insane and replied by saying "h*ll yea baby!  You make me feel wanted and needed.   You go over and beyond to make sure that I am taken care of.  You make me feel like the sexiest man alive."  (I am 110 and he is quite a bit overweight but still VERYsexy to me).  Of course, it is a two way street.  He makes me feel the same way.   I told him about the show and the only response I received was "you are watching way too many talk shows."  (with a grin on his face)  :-) 

  

~Jenn 

  

   what an emotional show today about the 4 women. i cried. i really feel for these women. i sure hope they are able to find some sense of peace in their life soon. i've never been through such horrible abuse and can't imagine how these women feel. i now understand why some of these kind of marriages end in tradgedy. pam was mentally abused so bad and had it thrown in her face that she was being cheated on etc. thank god she didn't let her anger take her to crazy places with that man. atleast she's not in jail over killing that b*****d. she should have told him it's ok i'll take everything you have and moved on. easy for me to say i know. well thank gosh for people like phil. i hope he's able to help ya'll get on with your life. i can't wait to see the follow up show... 

  

  

   i love dr phil and admire his advice. i'll have to agree with you on phil saying ya'll are freakin boring me. that was rather harsh. i think he was trying to motivate them and get them mad. hopefully it worked. i was not impressed with that comment either. i was rather shocked to hear him talk to his guests like that. i'm sure dr phil has a reason for it though... 

I watched yesterday's show and I agree with Dr. Phil's approach 100%.  A true friend is someone that will not sugar coat the truth, whether you like it or not. I am not an ex wife but I have suffered with depression for a number of years and I know that sometimes you need someone to lovingly kick you in the seat of the pants.  These women are all beautiful and smart and have a lot of living left to do.  There husbands were spineless b***rds and as long as they suffer there husbands still win..

I really feel for all of these woman and i am sorry that they have to go through this espically at this point in their lives.  But what i want to know is is there any way to prevent this?  How do you chose a partner wisely?  How do you be the best partner to each other so this doesn't happen?  And if there is no preventional methods or ones that of course are not fail proof than how do you protect yourself?  How do you get to a point where you see the signs that things have gone off in a ditch and how do you muster up the strength and conviction to walk away if you know that that is what is best for you?  I am twenty-nine and married 7 years and i am just dealing with my husband having an affair on me while he was in Iraq.  What makes me the most upset is that i had to find out through my intution and snooping.  I wanted him to love and respect me enough to have told me to my face not to find pictures on a cd and call strange numbers from our phone bill.  How do i make it clear that i am worth more and deserve more than that?  As this woman do also.

When I saw what this show was about I couldn't believe it. I was watching my life unfold before my eyes. It has been 16 yrs. since my husband left me with 7 children to raise by myself with no support. It's funny to me how society has no problem with a man who beats his wife, molests his children and then leaves them. I know forgiveness is necessary however I believe that their should also be something in place to keep this sort of thing from happening. Maybe I am dreaming, I hope not. Those men on the show yesterday who really were not men at all, but little self centered boy's who didn't even have the nerve to show their faces. Need to be exposed for what they are. Why is it OK to protect what they are doing? They are in the process of destroying many lives and are being allowed to do it. I don't understand how we can stand by and allow this to go on. Please share with me how this is right...

  

  

   hey you, hang in there ok. i know it's impossible for you to see right now, but there are many wonderful people out there. maybe you got matched up with the wrong one. you be strong and take care of those kids. when you least expect it, someone may pop in your life and show you how wonderful love is. as for now, i wish you luck in moving foward , not backward, and taking care of yourself. you'll be ok... 

I was so happy to read on the net and look forward to seeing this show. It turns out it is NOT about the EX or the woman or girl he is involved with at all. It turned out to be about the women getting their power back. They might have put up with bad behavior a long time if not for him leaving. Despite the pain, They have themselves now. It was just so cool to see that.The next gal is giving HER power to him now. They might never have had this chance if he hadn't left. It was really inspiring to me.

Im 21 and I have been married for 19 months to my highschool sweetheart. I gave up my college and scholoarships to move to Japan b/c of his military career. I caused a huge situation in my family b/c they thought (correctly) we were rushing things and objected to the route we chose to take. Looking back I know they were right but there was nothing that could have been said to change the course we chose. I've just discovered my husband thinks he married me to get back at his ex-fiance. He has only ever been in love with her and he doesnt think he can love people anymore since he lost his mother and uncle to untimely deaths. I was there for him through all of this and when we got married it was, on my side, b/c I loved him and wanted to share my life with him. I now know he he has a relationship with one of the women on his ship and with women in his past. He controls our finances and I get an allowance, which I read on someone else's post is a form of controlling behavior and abuse. He has secret accounts and hides money from me. Ive had to borrow money to get groceries only to hear him tell me about the great time he had drinking and carousing with the guys at a strip club, which I strongly object that he go there. He doesnt allow me to have friends or a life outside of taking care of him. He is totally secretive about his life, past present and future. I just realized how much of myself I had sacrificed to be with him while I was watching Dr. Phil's show. Dr. Phil was right -- you cant be half of a whole; you have to be whole on your own. I just dont know where to go from here b/c I still find myself wanting to believe its not true and its not happening to me. My husband has been away at school so I'm planning on confronting him when he gets back at our counseling session. We've been seeing a counselor b/c we were having "newlywed" troubles, when really its just that he's not ready to be married and have an adult relationship. He cant commit to anything but himself. His marriage issues have been that he can't live a single life anymore (strip clubs, female friends that he can't talk to in front of me, spending money on what he wants when he wants even when we have bills, having to worry about his actions impacting someone else). I assumed that he would be ready to give it up when he put the ring on my finger. I find myself wavering between demanding a divorce and pleading with him to just stop being so mean to me and be what he promised he would - a good husband and partner. It has been so difficult b/c now that i know about his double life (he doesnt know I know yet) I dont know what to believe anymore. He says he loves me and started talking about having children with me (!!!!!!) but he's telling other people he wont give up on our marriage b/c he's never failed at anything. He keeps telling me when he gets home things will be different b/c he's changed and he realized he wants to be married to me and he loves me. Im sick to my stomach b/c I think its all lies but I so deperately want to belive its the truth. I'm willing to let him stomp all over me just b/c there is a chance maybe in the future he'll be a better man. Im having such a hard time letting go b/c I wanted this to be everything its not and I feel so stupid for letting it go on this long. I hate the fact that I want to beg him to stay and I'll put up with anything if he'll be a good husband but that doesnt stop me from doing it. I disgust myself and I dont know how to start putting myself first. I dont know who I am anymore b/c I lost myself in a marriage that will never work and I cant find my way out. I hate that I sound so whiny and Ive let this consume me but I dont know how to stop.