Topic : 11/15 Dr. Phil and Robin's First Wives Club, Part 2

This show is so emotional to watch.  It was hard not to cry when I heard the stories of these women.  I totally relate with what they went through.  After seeing they're stories, I have a feeling of hope and excitement for my future.  I can't wait.

There is life after divorce. I'm not saying it's easy at first but as time puts some space and hopefully perspective onto the situation; life improves. It does take effort. Initially it seems everything spins out of control. Emotions are so raw. My first suggestion would be to make a long list of everything you dislike about the guy. Put it on paper and get it out of your system. The negativity can harm your health and spirit. Throw yourself a pity party-burn his picture, curse him and see how unworthy he was of your time, energy, love. He's the loser!     Now YOU be the winner! Be kind to yourself and do things you couldn't do when whats-his-face was around. YOU are in charge now. He has no voice in any of your decisions. You make yourself shine. Think positive, be positve and good things will come your way. Stay busy and productive and remember  The BEST revenge is living well.

I think the hardest thing to do with divorce is getting along with the ex and try to share the children in a divorce...without pulling them into it or away from the other party!!!!!

I agree there is life after divorse.  It is hard.  I was married for 17 years when my husband left me for another woman.  I remember smelling her purfume and he would lie.  I'm not very good at these message boards.  But I will say the 2 lyin guys on the show today reminded me of my ex.  I'm sorry it is heart ripping to re-live it and remember it.

I'm currently going through a divorce; I've been in the process for the past 6 mos.  My soon to be ex husband left when I was 8 wks pregnant with our second child.  Of course, he said it was bad timing but he just didn't feel happy in the relationship anymore.  It took me a couple of days to find out that there was somebody else and they've had a relationship going on for almost a year.  I saw these women on the show today and I saw a little of my self in each one of them.   

I do differ from them.  I don't blame myself at all for the failure of my marriage.  I filed for divorce 2 weeks after I found out about the other women.  I'm now 8 mos pregnant and I have no regrets about proceeding with the divorce.  Some say I'm angry, heck yea; I would have never gotten pregnant if I knew this was going on.  I don't expect an apology nor an explanation from him, there is nothing he could say that would make me any less angry.   

My family and friends say I'm doing very well considering all that's going on.  Of course, I have my moment when I feel the hurt, the pain, and anger for his deception, but I reassure my self with a positive outlook on life. 

I've always had a strong sense of who I am as a person and although it's been tough these past few months, I've got to constantly remind myself that I'm still me.  He didn't make me, I was already me before I meet him and I still me without him.  I've got a beautiful baby on the way to go along with my beautiful child I already have.  And alimony and child support isn't that bad.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel and if I could have patience with a toddler then I should have patience to make it though. 

I recently read a passage from The Mismeasure of Woman by Carol Tavris that helped me understand why so many of us are so vulnerable to this sort of pain and shock:  

  

"Women have been raised all their lives to put men first, to take care of everyone else in their lives, to marry the Right Person and happily take on the role of Assistant Person.  Then they are surprised to discover that all this subordination of their personalities, abilities, and needs carries a psychological price." 

  

But for all the women now in pain, whether from being abused, deserted or simply feeling lost, we all still have those personalities and abilities; we are strong, we can recover, and we can be whole again and thrive!  And our children will be better for it, too!  Ladies, You Can Do It! 

As soon as I saw the preview for this show, I was crying.  My husband moved out three weeks ago and doesn't know if he wants to stay married or not.  I feel so delicate right now.  Do you think this show would still help?  Right now, I feel like anything I do that has to do with divorce is just giving up, but yet, I know I'm not in control of this situation at all.  I'm a stay-at-home mom with two children (15 & 10) with not much of a support system where I live because I moved here seven years ago so he could be close to his family.  I'm alone and scared and so very depressed.

It was hard listening to those women stories my husband started to leave for someone else we finally talked before he walked out on me and he stayed. Dr. Phil was right they are always warning signals. I should of asked questions then, also I felt like a piece of throwaway garbage when he talked about leaving after 18 years. I want to know from women do men ever leave ther wives without someone waiting to wash there clothes and cook there food for them? Because if that is the way women get men nowadays thats sad.

I wasn't a legal wife but I was with my partner for fifteen years.  I too can relate to everything in that show.  during Hurricane Chrley he left me with all the devastation to go to Tennessee to play golf with his friends for one week.  After that the next Hurricane came and he again left me to go to play golf with his friends for another week in Michigan.  In September last year I was diagnosed wih a brain tumor.  When he came back during those times I felt betrayed and wondered what I had done to merit such treatment.  I felt lilke I was nothing but a piece of used garbage.  I no longer wanted to make love to him.  He no longer respected me as his partner and treated me so.  I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in September.  He left me lone in the hospital to attend a golf tournament and work in the golf course.  He manged to take time out to bring me home.  Except I no longr trusted him so I went to my mothers.  During the five weeks of convalescence, he did not come by to visit me nor did he call.  We lived one mile from my mothers and he just did not bother.  I threw him out when he pushed me and I fell down two months after surgery. What have I done?  I literally picked myself up from everything I knew, living in Maryland and took a cut in salary to follow him to Florida.  I feel like a fool.  I'm now fighting a legal battle because he wants revenge for something he did not me.  I need to move on but don't know how.  It has been nine months and all I can think of is WHY!!  I gave myself to him, cooking keeping his home bueatiful, working full time  and spending weekends cleaning and doing things just for him.  I gave up friends just to only cater to him while he continued to play golf and because he's retired, enjoy his retirement.  What a FOOL!! Help me to move on.

You sound like a strong person in everything you have you said. I am not divorced nor going through any hardships with my marriage, but I do care and feel for anyone going through marriage hardships. You keep up your strength, and you will have a great life. Your kids need you and I know with your strength that your kids will see as they grow that you stood strong not only for them but for yourself too!