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Topic : 06/01 "My Kid's a Star"

Number of Replies: 521
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Created on : Friday, November 11, 2005, 05:29:55 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/16/05) Every parent believes his or her child is exceptional, but how do you know when you are pushing your children beyond their limits? Bridget is so determined to make her 9-year-old daughter the next LeAnn Rimes, she has had her singing every weekend for the last seven months, and she is constantly criticizing her performances and punishing her when she makes mistakes. The father of the biggest sister act in pop music weighs in. And, Julie is so obsessed with placing her daughters in hundreds of glitz beauty pageants, she has practically bankrupted her family. Her sister, Jamie, says she is forcing her 5-year-old to grow up too soon, and the pageants have torn their family apart. Talk about the show here.

 

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November 13, 2005, 4:40 pm CST

11/16 "My Kid's a Star"

Quote From: lh2000

The photo is just plain strange.  Does not look like a human child.  Kind if looks like an alien if you believe in that sort of thing.  It does show good makeup technique but, clearly between the makeup and airbrushing this is not a photo of a human child.  They completely wiped out the contours of her face.  Does her mom not think she if pretty enough without warping her features or is this her moms warped idea of what a child should look like?   

It is no Different than you going to a studio and having Glamour shots done!  They are just trying to enhance their natural beauty!  And look at actors media pictures they are touched up like this!
 
November 13, 2005, 7:09 pm CST

Glamor Shots at the age of 5 your kidding right?

Quote From: mosmom

It is no Different than you going to a studio and having Glamour shots done!  They are just trying to enhance their natural beauty!  And look at actors media pictures they are touched up like this!

Well if your talking about taking 5 year olds to photo studios and spending $500 on glamor shots as being a normal thing to do your not living on the same planet as me.  I have never seen photos where they completely airbrush out the contours of the face like this one.   

  

This poor little girl must have a very odd sense of herself if this is considered to make her look pretty.  When she looks in a mirror with out the makeup and airbrushing what does she think of herself?   

  

If I dressed a 5 year old boy up with make up and heals would that be ok too?   

  

We are talking about apprentice human beings here.  How can we expect kids being taught that vanity is so important turn into caring compassionate human beings? 

  

 

I think if mom want to play with dolls then let them but they should not treat their children like fashion dolls. 

  

 
November 14, 2005, 3:34 pm CST

11/16 "My Kid's a Star"

I can see where a parent would be mad at some of the things, but it is the parents responsibility of how far will you let your child go in something. My 9 year old daughter likes to do pageants. I only allow here to do the natural pageants. No make-up at all. They are only judged on their facial beauty, Modeling and over-all appearance.  

 There are a lot of parents that will put the plastered on make-up, Flappers(fake teeth), fake hair, eye lashes, tans, finger nails and I have seen it all. Even on infants. I have even seen half of the mother that dye their 1 and 2 year old daughters hair blond.  

I won't allow it and I tell my daugther that it is beauty to have to do all of that. She is in them for fun and not to win and I guess that is the different between us and the other pageant mothers. 

Parents in all sports go to extremes of high dollar equipment, lessons, coaching and I would hope that it is for the children. If it is the children will benefit. If the child does not want to do something they will let the parent know in one way or another and hopefully the parent will listen.  

Just know that there are pageants out there for the natural child. The ones that my daughter has been in has helped her speak in class and boost her self confidence. We do them occasionally and it is a great thing to see her smile on the stage. 

 
November 14, 2005, 4:54 pm CST

child star

by the way, your selling cds. those songs on those cds are copyrighted and your making money off someone elses songs. is that not illegal
 
November 14, 2005, 5:22 pm CST

Geeeezzzzz

Quote From: funyuns

i would just like to inform you that, you DO NOT know the children, all you see is what the producers WANT you to see therefore, you really truely can't tell if the child is happy, and i am a personal friend of Bridget's daughter and let me tell you she is extremely happy with what she does she loves to sing, all the time.........trust me i know, and if she really doesn't want to do it then she really doesn't have to not only that but its good to be punished because some people just let there kids grow up without punishment and when they make a mistake at something they just quit.and all Bridget wants is for her child to get out of this "great" little town we live in and follow her dreams and if she wants to be a singer then she has to start NOW because there are So many others out there wanting the same thingbut know one is there to push them or even support them...so you just need to back off! 

I think the most important statement in your post is that "all Bridget wants is for her child to get out of this "great" little town"  What about what the kid wants? If she wants to be a technically correct singer, then she should be taking voice lessons and performing at concerts. If she wants  to be singing in bars and clubs, hanging out with people a LOT older than she is, and occasional bad influences, then she is on the right track. Lee Ann Rimes had a good song....... written by someone else. I hope this girl makes it big, but if she doesn't, there are a lot of seedy bars and bands always looking for a  "girl singer". Hey, you can make $50 a night plus tips!!!!!!  

And, never tell Jettav to back off- she always has good advice, a level temper and understands many viewpoints- unlike many other posters......myself included..... 

 
November 14, 2005, 5:49 pm CST

CDS

Quote From: ryanokmom

by the way, your selling cds. those songs on those cds are copyrighted and your making money off someone elses songs. is that not illegal

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO WE SELL ANY CDS.  CDS ARE FOR PROMOTIONAL USE ONLY.  WE DO SELL AUTOGRAPHED PICTURES. WE DO NOT IN ANY WAY MAKE MONEY OFF OF KARA'S SINGING, OR PROMOTIONAL MATERIALS. 

 
November 14, 2005, 6:04 pm CST

LESSONS AND BARS

Quote From: queentween

I think the most important statement in your post is that "all Bridget wants is for her child to get out of this "great" little town"  What about what the kid wants? If she wants to be a technically correct singer, then she should be taking voice lessons and performing at concerts. If she wants  to be singing in bars and clubs, hanging out with people a LOT older than she is, and occasional bad influences, then she is on the right track. Lee Ann Rimes had a good song....... written by someone else. I hope this girl makes it big, but if she doesn't, there are a lot of seedy bars and bands always looking for a  "girl singer". Hey, you can make $50 a night plus tips!!!!!!  

And, never tell Jettav to back off- she always has good advice, a level temper and understands many viewpoints- unlike many other posters......myself included..... 

Hey, Kara is technically correct and she does take voice lessons and also performs at concerts. She does a lot up UPSCALE venues too!!  She has MANY friends her age and I believe that when she is old enough to make all the decisions she will make great choices because she is a grounded, intelligent child.  You may hang out in seedy bars and you may see some girl singers while your visiting but I can almost guarantee you will not see Kara at one.  We understand that Kara is young and we understand that she may not always want to sing (who knows after the show airs she may take up acting) we also understand that there will not be a record deal for a 9 or 10 year old.  But at this point in her life she is having fun doing what she loves and we support her 100%.   

  

 
November 14, 2005, 6:30 pm CST

LOL, Queentween

Quote From: queentween

I think the most important statement in your post is that "all Bridget wants is for her child to get out of this "great" little town"  What about what the kid wants? If she wants to be a technically correct singer, then she should be taking voice lessons and performing at concerts. If she wants  to be singing in bars and clubs, hanging out with people a LOT older than she is, and occasional bad influences, then she is on the right track. Lee Ann Rimes had a good song....... written by someone else. I hope this girl makes it big, but if she doesn't, there are a lot of seedy bars and bands always looking for a  "girl singer". Hey, you can make $50 a night plus tips!!!!!!  

And, never tell Jettav to back off- she always has good advice, a level temper and understands many viewpoints- unlike many other posters......myself included..... 

Actually, there has been several posters on these boards who would love it if I back off but not gonna happen. I am very sincere in my posts and I do know what I am talking about though others may disagree or get upset at me, but that is fine and dandy with me, I have no problem witht hat. it is hard task to offend me casue I have been through enough stuff in this world and I am actually a strong person. I do not have a problem with putting kids in activities and pageants and all but I do believe it needs to be the kids who enjoy it and wants to do it, introducing them to things is a good thing but forcing or punishing them for making a mistake in a recital or sport is just plain wrong and mean. Now, there is a big difference between punishment and discipline and hopefully these paretns are actually talking discipline and not punishment. When it comes to sports and things like this, good discipline needs to be a part of it meaning they need to learn that they need to go to practices, meetings, recitals, whatever it is they are committed to do and I believe that once we make a committment then yes, we need to follow through but once that committment is over, it should be up to the child if they want to continue it.Punishment to me, says that you either do it right or you get grounded, spanked, the phone taken away, such as when a child misbehaves (when it comes to this topic) actually telling the kids that they have to be perfect or it isn't good enough. what ever happened to encouraging a child and telling them to do their very best and no matter what happens I will be proud of you. They need to be taught to do their best and to hold their head up high. Why would we want our children to be perfect when we are not even perfect as adults, I know I have made mistakes in my life even in the sport of softball which I am very good at by the way. any way, just wanted to point out that there is a difference between discipline and punishment and kids deserve to be taught to do their best and to be proud of them selves and they need to be aloud to choose their life paths with our love, respect and encouragement of course. And I believe that we as parents can either make or break our children and if we are doing more punishing then encouraging then there will be problems. I personally know kids who have grown up to fail at so many things because of lack of respect and encouragement in theri homes and some of these kids had a whole lot of potential.
 
November 14, 2005, 6:55 pm CST

total agreement

Quote From: jettav

Actually, there has been several posters on these boards who would love it if I back off but not gonna happen. I am very sincere in my posts and I do know what I am talking about though others may disagree or get upset at me, but that is fine and dandy with me, I have no problem witht hat. it is hard task to offend me casue I have been through enough stuff in this world and I am actually a strong person. I do not have a problem with putting kids in activities and pageants and all but I do believe it needs to be the kids who enjoy it and wants to do it, introducing them to things is a good thing but forcing or punishing them for making a mistake in a recital or sport is just plain wrong and mean. Now, there is a big difference between punishment and discipline and hopefully these paretns are actually talking discipline and not punishment. When it comes to sports and things like this, good discipline needs to be a part of it meaning they need to learn that they need to go to practices, meetings, recitals, whatever it is they are committed to do and I believe that once we make a committment then yes, we need to follow through but once that committment is over, it should be up to the child if they want to continue it.Punishment to me, says that you either do it right or you get grounded, spanked, the phone taken away, such as when a child misbehaves (when it comes to this topic) actually telling the kids that they have to be perfect or it isn't good enough. what ever happened to encouraging a child and telling them to do their very best and no matter what happens I will be proud of you. They need to be taught to do their best and to hold their head up high. Why would we want our children to be perfect when we are not even perfect as adults, I know I have made mistakes in my life even in the sport of softball which I am very good at by the way. any way, just wanted to point out that there is a difference between discipline and punishment and kids deserve to be taught to do their best and to be proud of them selves and they need to be aloud to choose their life paths with our love, respect and encouragement of course. And I believe that we as parents can either make or break our children and if we are doing more punishing then encouraging then there will be problems. I personally know kids who have grown up to fail at so many things because of lack of respect and encouragement in theri homes and some of these kids had a whole lot of potential.
I agree with you.  Disipline and punishment are 2 different things.  We do discipline our kids. And we do punish our kids, but not for the reasons people think.  Punishment is not for NOT BEING PERFECT AT A PERFORMANCE>  Punishment comes when our kids do misbehave or are disrespectul.  Dr. Phil says  to find out what the kids currency is and use it. At our house the telephone and TV are our kids currency.  So when they are rude or disrespectful or break the house rules we ground them from those things.  We expect our kids to be kids but follow the rules.  Kara is disciplined in the fact that YES she is made to practice, She is made to attend lessons and yes to keep her straight A averages.  She does this easily.  There are times she does not want to practice but as discipline dictates she has to.  She has to practice to continue doing the things she loves most. SINGING and ENTERTAINING. Punish is a bad word and I do tell Dr. Phil that on the show, but it was a neccasary word according to some people.  We realize our kids are not PERFECT.  They are kids and need guidance and reassurance BUT they also NEED Discipline and sometimes punishment to help them be productive in life.
 
November 14, 2005, 11:47 pm CST

Ex Pageant Mom

     Shortly after my son's first birthday I put him in a local baby pageant. I was hooked and for the next 3 years my son competed at national level. I usually had him in about 2 big/national pageants a month. The national pageants involve a lot of traveling, money and it's an all weekend event. Believe it or not, competition between boys is just about as bad as the girls. I was sick enough to pay for the $75 an hour pageant coach, the $1000 way over retouched head shots, he even used a h/m person to do his hair. A child would not stand a chance at national level with out these things.  

     I'd give my right arm to go back in time and make the decision to not put my son in that 1st pageant. I will never forgive myself for the damage I have created by exposing my son to the pageant world. He never really liked them to begin with but somehow I convinced myself he did because like most children they make the best out of any situation. Parents always saw how their children love it but what they really love is going to the hotel/out of town and having time with mom and/or dad for the whole weekend and they see doing pageants as the price they pay for it. Besides all kids want to please their parents, especially when they know it means a lot to mommy. 

     They yank these little girls out of bed on Saturday mornings at like 4:30 am and to have their hair and make-up done (they usually cry all the way through it because it hurts and they are still half asleep) and then put on a 15 lbs dress and  tell the 4 year year old not to jump, crawl, lay down, run, eat, drink because it will mess up the dress and h/m. Sound like fun yet? That's only a small part of the day.  

      Anyway, I was not nearly as bad as most pageants moms. I would never hit my child or call him names for messing up or for any reason for that matter but I am guilty of expecting way too much out of him for his age and ability, putting pressure on him and even though I never verbally said I was disappointed or unhappy with his performance to him, I know he could sense my emotional coldness for lack of a better word. Pageants made my son overly concerned with his appearance to this day. Most boys his age could care less what they wear or how they look. He compares himself to others and is way too hard on himself when he makes a mistake. He's very sensitive to any real or imagined criticism. He expects himself to be better at things than he is,  like skills that come with age as his muscles develop and coordination improves. I know all of this is because of pageants and I will never forgive myself for doing this to him.  

          It was like I just wooke up one day and asked myself why was I doing this? My son plays football now and I see some of the same problems with parents there too. I've learned my lesson and I'm nothing but 100% supportive and I just want him to have fun and be a little boy. I could care less if they win or lose and he wanted to quit tomorrow that would be fine. Unfortunatly the damage is already done and it breaks my heart to see him beat himself up over missing a pass or something like that. 

          There is such a dark side to pageants. I think it's borderline abuse. I will post after I watch the show to give my inside point of view.  

 
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