Topic : 06/01 "My Kid's a Star"

these parents need a real dose of reality. or actually they need a hit up side the head with an iron skillet. then they need the trade places with their children and have to be pushed as hard as they push their children good advice dr. phil 

Doctor Phil. IS KID MY STAR. Are you kiding me?  I like the Idea but not for long because she is 09-- 

years old. But Doctor Phil kids have to wait untill they are 16 year olds not when they are 09 years--- 

old. That is not going to work at all. See you tomorrow Afternoon. Well I had better close now.--------- 

Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

I was on the stage all through my childhood. I saw atrocities with stage mothers that would make your hair stand on end. It was so obvious to me that the parents on the show were not in the least sensitive to the emotional needs of their children. The mother of the little singer was bordering on evil in her treatment of her child. She is not a professional coach. She is not a professional musician or performer, yet she feels qualified to criticize and amend her child's performance. She was putting on an act through the whole show, flirting and smiling and trying to joke around, and basically lying about her behavior. The pageant mother seemed to be in another world, oblivious to what anyone was saying to her. I doubt that anything will change. These two women are too obsessed with living through their children and having something to brag about. The day will come when their relationship with their child is nonexistent. . Bridget is a super colossal stage mother, absolutely uncaring as to what she is doing to her child. Does she not realize that a child who makes a mistake on stage or has not given her best performance knows what she has done? Does this woman have to rub it in and punish her? Why?  Who appointed her to be lord high executioner when she has never been on the stage herself? The father was just as insensitive. That child's face when she was being tortured in the car was enough for any one who has children to see that it was wrong. What is the point of a 9 year old having a "career" if it is made into a nightmare  by someone who does not have a show business background? What nerve. Why not hire a professional coach to help the child and stay out of it.?  I would also like to know if the little girl gets paid for her performances or is she doing this gratis? I certainly understand that a large investment of time and money is put into these endeavors, but perhaps it would be wise to remember that children also say they want to be cowboys and fireman. However, no one makes them go around in a fireman's suit or cowboy outfit or makes them practice being cowboys or fireman for years. I am particularly worried about Bridget's child. She is very sensitive and emotional and is quite talented. Whether or not this will develop into something that she can carry into adulthood is another story altogether. Her voice is not yet developed, no one knows if she will have a career at this point, and for her childhood to be stunted and for her to be tormented by a mother who should be supportive is tragic for her.Her parents might like to remember how many children in show business have run away, gotten into drugs or killed themselves due to the pressure and the low self worth that has been given to them by their parents. However, I know nothing will change. The parents do not seem to have even been touched by anything that was said. I wish them luck.  

I just finished watching the show and i have read what a lot of people have said regarding your parenting and your daughter.  First of all, I want to point out that you and your husband obviously love your daughter a lot and many children would be lucky to have parents like you.  Encouraging your child to excel and to endure adversity is what every parent in the world should do.  My parents encouraged me to play sports, get involved in extracurricular activities and to go to university.  I did all that and i thank them for that.  BUT...my parents never criticized my performances.  There is enough criticism in the world already and the last thing i would have ever wanted to hear was a negative reaction from MY PARENTS!!!  Again, i want you to know that i am not against you like so many other people are in this message board.  I think that you should just try to see it from an outside perspective OR the perspective of your daughter.  Dr. Phil mentioned that your daughter might be so energetic about getting another show booked because it could be a measure of her self-worth.  I think that he really hit the nail on the head.  One day she may not want to pursue this singing career anymore but may feel as though she can't quit because she wouldn't be "worth" as much or she may not have anything else to offer.  I think that the main thing to take from other people's opinions is that positive reinforment is better than negative.  When the majority of people (including mental health professionals such as Dr. Phil) say things that are completely opposite from what you are thinking, its sometimes beneficial to step back and see what all the fuss is about.  See if there is any validity in what other people are saying about the way that you criticise your daughter after "a poor performance".  Even though you guys sound like you are loving and supportive parents...even the best still need to step back and improve THEIR OWN PERFORMANCE as parents.  And as for your mother-in-law, she is probably so lenient with your children because you are SO NOT.  She sees you at one end of the parenting spectrum and she wants to be at the exact opposite end.  I bet if you stopped being so critical of your daughters performances and eased up, she would stop being sooo lenient with your daughter.   

Anyways, i just wanted to try to help you see a different perspective and i hope you know that i see you guys as loving parents.   

KEY POINT:  I was using constructive criticism to let you know that i don't neccessarily agree with what you guys are doing.  I first told you what you were doing right and then i pointed out diplomatically what i thought could be improved.  I imagine that my posting was a lot easier to read and maybe you might be able to see my point better because of the way that i addressed it.  Maybe if you were to use the same technique with your daughter, you wouldnt encounter these problems. 

Anyways...Best of Luck!!! 

How many times?  How many different approaches by how many different people did it take to get through to those two??!  They were so STUBBORN AND DEFENSIVE, I wanted to cry. 

There were enough contradictions in her reporting on their lives and when the Good Doctor would call her on something, she would just do a "re-write!" (As I call them.) 

They came on the show, they asked Dr. Phil what he thought and then when he didn't deliver what they wanted to hear, they set their mental gears in BACKTRACK mode.  Frustrating! (Secretly, I wanted to slap that mom!)