Topic : 08/04 Biggest Parenting Problems

Rare spankings on young children and done NOT in anger are NOT beatings.

Dr. Phil cannot show any stats to show that they are. Children used to be spaked often decades ago and we had less crime, less drug use, less divorce, less adultry, less crime, etc. I like it how nobody even tries to explain that!!!

Our two children probably received a total of 5 spakings each with the last spanking occurring at age 5 for both. We NEVER EVER spanked when we were angry. And we have never seen any violence on the part of either child.; they are gentle, loving, compassionate souls. HOWEVER, as a teacher, I have seen many out-of-control and violent kids and many of them were never spanked....in fact, they lacked all discipline.

This idea that all spankings are evil began in the 1970's when everyone started listening to the psycho-babble of "experts" who often didn't even have children themselves. It's at that same time that the families and public schools began deteriorating. These same "experts" are the ones who share the same view of the world as the hedonistic, arrogant Hollywood types that couldn't raise a PLANT well, if they tried!

Poor hygiene and boys seem to go hand in hand at this age but your problem seems worse than most.  I would recommend taking a medical approach.  Certain diseases and infections can cause a bad odor.  Cystic acne especially can cause problems.  So see your regular doctor first.  Also consider seeing a psychiatrist because depression or other mental illness.  These can stand in the way of the desire for proper hygiene.  If he gets a clean bill of health discuss with him the desire to treat his acne because it will depend on him!!!  Then off to the dermatologist because acne as bad as you describe needs prescription medications.  If he still does not turn around then a bit of tough love.  I often had to tell my stepsons that if they were not clean with clean clothes they would not be allowed to go whereever the family was going (dinner, movies...) and they got left at home.  At times they would be so smelly I would not let them sit on the furniture until they cleaned up (therefore if they wanted videos games or TV they had to shower first).  They are cleaning up their act most of the time and now I have to live with clouds of AXE thick enough to burn my nostrils. 

Also please keep any criticism of his father to yourself.  The most damaging thing in my stepsons' lives has been listening to their mother criticize their father.  If he is a real jerk you do not need to protect him from that by covering for his Dad, but do not criticize his father either.  There is a big difference between covering (Oh...your father is not picking you up this weekend because he is sick), criticizing (Your lazy, SOB father stood you up again), and facing reality (I don't know why your father did not pick you up, why don't we call and find out).