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Topic : 06/05 Conception Deception

Number of Replies: 706
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Created on : Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 03:23:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/28/05) What if your husband tricked you into getting pregnant? What if your wife lied to you and got pregnant? First, Stacy didn't tell Derek she went off birth control until after she got pregnant. He thought he was doing the right thing by marrying her but now feels trapped. When Stacy reveals the real reason she went off birth control, will Derek decide to stay in the marriage, or is it over? Next, Steve got Mary pregnant so that she would marry him. Since they've had more than one unplanned child, how does he keep getting her pregnant, and is he trying to trap her? Share your thoughts.


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November 28, 2005, 12:39 pm CST

Amen!

Quote From: missjane2

You know WE LIVE IN A VERY BIG WORLD.  And for as many people who say they don't want kids you will find just as many who will say they do want kids and adore them! 
I second that! I'm loving four grown children and ten grandkids and its AWESOME!
 
November 28, 2005, 12:48 pm CST

conception deception

i cant believe how dr.phil handled stacy and her husband, i was appalled, stacy didnt trick her husband, he KEPT asking her if she was using birth control, dr,phil should of asked him why werent you using birth control, dont push it off and cry like a lil girl ,stacy trapped me, bull!! they seemds  to have promblems from early on,cause stacy felt like she had to do something  to keep him,but he should of been wearing a condom or another method instead of thinking it was stacy responsibilty....you play... you pay...i believe he wants out and will use her as his excuse...it wasnt just her, he partcipated and should of participated in the birth control department as well!!
 
November 28, 2005, 12:58 pm CST

It takes two

I think there was alot of blaming going on today.  It is not one persons responsibility to take care of the birth control in a relationship.  I understand that Derek was trying to be diligent in his efforts.  The second couple though confused me.  If Mary didn't want anymore children, then why not take precautions?  She cannot place all the blame on her husband.  I can understand one time oops, got pregnant, but 3 times???  That makes no sense to me.  Good luck to all of you. 

 
November 28, 2005, 1:02 pm CST

I agree...

Quote From: fluffyfat

I hope people watchiing today's show got the message. Bottom line is: If YOU don't want to have a child right now, then YOU should be using a good reliable form of birth control. Never trust something this important to someone else. Oh, and BTW, anyone who uses an innocent unborn child as a tool to manipulate their romance is lower than dirt. Children should be brought into the world when the man and the woman *both* want them. And women: If he isn't committed enough to marry you, he darn well isn't committed enough to father your children.

Both of the people who were deceived should've taken matters into their own hands. For the 1st couple, if he had to repeatedly ask if she was using birth control a red flag should've been flying!  For the 2nd...why didn't SHE use birth control??  I can see 1 but 2? How did the 4th come about?? 

  

Dr. Phil talks about ownership in troubled relationships. Where's the ownership with the 'deceived' people??  I just couldn't believe that both the 'deceived' were playing the victim! Take some responsibility. 

  

  

 
November 28, 2005, 1:07 pm CST

Something for Mary....

Mary, 

  

I don't know if you read here. I hope that this message finds its way to you.  First of all my heart goes out to you, I know exactly how you feel.  I have 4 kids.. the first were 12, 14, 16 and I was a single parent to them, having divorced their dead beat dad after our 12 year marriage.  The picture you see is of me and my latest edition, a product of my boyfriend's deception. He, like your husband, pulled out too (yeah right).  I begged him not to get me pregnant, I just could not handle another child.  Yet, knowing my history and that I had struggled to raise my first three kids without their father and his child support, I don't think my boyfriend really cared about my feelings and he knew I would not have an abortion, because my ex had forced me to have one, and it destroyed me and our marriage. 

  

 Well I am still with my boyfriend and we co-parent our son, and he half ass attempts to parent my other kids, though they are self sufficent now that the years have passed.  I didn't get married, he wanted to, and he might have thought it would be the result of this pregnancy, since he is not a us citizen and from europe on a green card. Maybe that was his plan to get to stay in this country. It was also an attempt to keep me in his clutches, for like you, I too had many suitors to pick from! 

  

Mary I don't want to go on about my situation when you are obviously hurting and confused.  but you have 4 beautiful boys who love their mother very much and whether you stay with your husband or not, you will get through this and I am certain as my kids have been for me, your children will be your rock to survive what ever the lord puts in front of you.  Also remember, life comes full circle, there may be a time when your kids will care for you when you are older..  

  

If I can raise three children on a little education and salary just above poverty level, anyone can. We went without alot of things, but there was never a moment when my kids did not feel love and valued for their opinions.  These kids have turned out to be marvelous.. my daughter is in college with a 4.0 GPA and on scholarship, and my son is already a dept manager.  the youngest is also very intelligent and giving and can read at 2nd grade level.  As long as you show your children Love Mary, you might do without, but you will have what you really need. 

  

Peace and love, 

Michelle 

 
November 28, 2005, 1:16 pm CST

Why?

Quote From: missjane2

To the 2 that were deceived..... WHY were you sleeping with these  in the first place if they weren't the kind of person you wanted to have a baby with?  Isn't that using them?  Not that you should have had a baby right away.... but did you want a baby with someone else or do you just not want kids? Technically I don't think you should sleep with someone unless you love them. 

  

Secondly with the guy who got his wife pregnant at night.... He is kind of quite abit bigger than her.... I am just wondering how he didn't wake her up?  She must have taken some pretty strong sleeping pills or something...... 

A relationship evolves and sometimes grows from holding hands and kissing to then having sex. I waited for sex with my s/o for 3 months after dating, I had sex for sex sake.not for a baby.  I was not looking for a husband. I too was caught off guard and was well feeling the love. Sometimes our bodies tell us that sex will feel good, and it does and it is for pleasure not conception. 

  

To assume someone is on sleeping pills and not just a sound sleeper, is a little judgemental.  Maybe there were drinks involved, or maybe the husband is just not well endowed.  Who knows, but he admitted that he thought he could get away with it which is clearly deceptive. 

  

Peace and Love, 

Michelle 

 
November 28, 2005, 1:20 pm CST

11/28 Conception Deception

Quote From: wolfbitch

I think you hit the nail on the head with "needy, lying, manipulative man".  She would do much better marrying a good guy who could at least have a good influence on his stepsons!

Hey, Wolfbitch, I just want to say I totally LOVE your pic...heh. It's great. Made me smile anyway. Hard to do after a show like this!! :) 

Karen  

 
November 28, 2005, 1:23 pm CST

Are kidding me?!

Yes it was deceptive on her part but he could have worn a condom if he didnt want a kid. He should be mad at himself, not so much with her. He wants a way out and this is the perfect excuse. If he does't want to be there he should leave. big deal.
 
November 28, 2005, 1:24 pm CST

my son also was trapped

My son's wife and mother of their 8 year old boy and 10 year old girl decided she wanted another child and was not in the least bit concerned with her husband's adament wishes to have no other children.  She got pregnant and had a miscarriage.  My son came to me and said "Mom, I can't say this to ------, but, even though I feel bad the baby died, I'm so relieved she had a miscarriage, I just don't want any more kids".  

  

He made it abundantly clear to her and in no uncertain terms that two children, a healthy boy and girl were all he felt he could afford and take care of in any reasonable manner.  She on the other hand wanted a baby.  She now has a beautiful little girl who will be 2 early next month and today 3 children do not have daddy in the home anymore.  The parents have divorced. 

  

She admitted when the baby was about 8 months old that she deliberately quit her pills to get pregnant.  Previous to that admission she swore vehemently it was because she had been put on antibiotics and they lessened the affect of the pills.  My son had a vasectomy a month after the baby was born (paid for by her mother) but, felt he could no longer trust her.  He said he felt like he was sleeping with the enemy. 

  

How sad and selfish is that?  Those two older kids could maybe have had a reasonable life, with 2 parents.  They love to go to my daughter's where their aunt and uncle are all about the kids' and have this cool family life together and are so sad when it's time to leave.   

  

That beautiful little girl baby was born with a job she can never begin to accomplish-keeping her mother fulfilled.  I hope the next guy in mama's life likes and wants children, 'cause he's going to get at least one.  

 
November 28, 2005, 1:25 pm CST

take care of yourself!

For the ones who did not want a child they can only blame themselfs! only you can protect you!  Dont expect someone to protect you when you cant even protect yourself! 

  

  

 
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