Topic : 06/05 Conception Deception

I don't know. I have always been a light sleeper and wondered how could this have ever happened? I know that he did not completely penetrate my body. He released himself early as I awoke. These type of people seem to know what they are doing and how to do it. If you don't plan it nor expect it I guess you are not always on your p's and q's. I ask myself often "How did he do this without my waking up?" Now that I hear so much about drugs, I wonder about that now too. I just haven't a clue. I now own a home with locks on my bedroom door and no one spends the night nor is allow to stay on in the main part of the house. 

I feel that these type of men have very low confidence in themself and have serious control issues. I feel that it is almost like a drug for the man. The more he feels that he can get away with controlling this situation the more he wants to do it and the more powerful he feels. 

While I agree with your statement that they had trouble from early on, when we enter relationships isn't part of the relationship supposed to be about trusting your partner? 

It was not very smart of him to just blindly accept that this person was using Birth Control, I do not however see how you can equate that to all of the lies and manipulations Stacy carried out. I don't think he is just crying victim here. I think he has a legitimate reason for complaint. She lied and continued to lie during the entire marriage. I think that is worse than beleiveing in the person you are involved with. 

From now on I am sure that he will participate in the birth control part of any future relationships but what a horrible way to learn the lesson and at such a high price. 

She was deceptive not only in getting pregnant without telling him but she also lied during the whole of the marriage up  to this point. I think that is being overlooked is that she also lied about the reason she stopped taking the pills. JShe only acknowledged her true reason for the Dr Phil show. While he should have figured it out by now, if she wanted their marriage to have a real chance to be successful she should have told him the truth by now. 

 I agree that he could have worn protection. I think the big deal is that she lied at the beginning and she has contiued to lie throughout the marriage. That's a very big deal.  

Do you need to really hear my life story on this? I was a very young mother to my first three. And I am trusting to a fault, I was in a vulnerable situation having lost someone who I was very close to, (my mom) he was my soft place to fall.  We became close, but we were aware we were having sex without protection.  Do I still trust him, yes but not as much.. Trust evolves sometimes it takes years.  And I have learned a lesson from it.  But its not a life sentence for either of us. Ok ? 

My point was to Mary who had felt trapped. I was trying to ease her pain if she is reading.  I was not opening myself to being attacked, but I'll fire back if you do this.  Why do you think this is wrong? I am not being a victim, I am telling her I was in a situation similiar, and made it without any support from my ex husband. I did not get married after the conception and my forth child was born.  And so what? With the divorce rate and all to be considered, why should I get married again, for the sake of my son?  BTW,  My boy friend and I are still together. And I use condoms (which are not fool proof) and never during ovulation (the rhythm method) so sometimes I just go without. 

Peace  

Michelle 

He says that he really cares for her and loves her but if he really did love her he would love her enough to want to know what she thinks about getting pregnant he would care about her feelings and wouldn't have entrapped her the way he did.  Michelle's husband reminds me of the guys around my town that think it is funny to get their girl pregnant and think that it is exciting to have sex without a condom and not use the ol' pull out method, just to see if she'll get pregnant.  Honestly that guy reminds me of a 16 year old boy that thinks he is cool because he is now having sex.  And I don't understand how Michelle didn't wake up whenever he was having sex with her.     

Exactly correct. If women want to tell men who have NO post-coital choices to get snipped, then whats good for the gander is good for the goose, too. 

Plus, this tale ignores that *any* woman in such a situation HAS post coital choices, from abortion, to legal abandon laws and legally adopting out laws, that allow her to do what NO man is legally allowed to do, namely, void her parental status and obligations. 

Any woman who tries to claim " I didn't know he did me ! ", and who then *refuses* to use her legal 

choices, is clear that having the baby is HER CHOICE. Such a person has AbZero basis for later 

complaints.