Topic : 06/05 Conception Deception

But to your point, no pun intended.

My ex/rapist was not small yet I would sometimes not wake up until he was done. I was very sleepy too, as I was staying up as much as I could through the night to avoid him. When I started sleeping fully clothed, I would wake up when he would undress me.

Of the two cases presented on today's show,I think Steve horrified me the most.For Steven to have sex with his wife Mary while she was asleep,where she was not in a position to give consent, was nothing short of  RAPE.

It was bad enough that he thought so little of her own feelings & desires that he would basically conscript her to mothering FOUR children,a huge responsibility for a woman who PLANS that many kids,let alone one who has her reproductive will ignored & dismissed for her spouse's selfish insecurities.It was even more appalling that this man cannot provide for all the children & lets his wife go hungry.But for him to treat his violation of his sleeping wife,& utterly deprive her of the right to say,"No" as some sort of roguish,bigboy lark sickens me beyond belief.

.I was somewhat dismayed that the emphasis was placed on the pregnancy & not the violation that caused it.Mary is clearly traumatised by being raped by the one person in the world she should be able to trust to treat her body with affection,dignity & respect.She needs more than marriage counselling;she needs rape counselling.

Dr Phil talks about deal breakers in a marriage:this would be one of those for me.I don't know how or if she should forgive such a betrayal.Asking someone to stay married to their rapist,is in my book,asking too much.

I'm not familiar with the laws of the United States,but in my country,Australia,rape within marriage is a prosecutable offence.

If the same applies in the U.S.,Mary should think about having him charged & face a court for his actions.Then he might at last get it that taking sex without asking permission is unacceptable,whether it be a stranger on the street or a spouse you claim to love.

Mary deserves better than this narcissistic loser who lies,violates & cannot support his family.

I thought Dr.Phil spoke good sense to him,but I don't think  enough emphasis was placed on the fact that marriage did NOT give him the right to do what is now in many Western democracies,an illegal act.If he wants to save his marriage,he needs to understand the gravity of his actions & the terrible psychological damage he has done to his wife.

I also think an opportunity to get the message out to those in the viewing audience that are victims or perpetrators of spousal rape that 1) it is wrong 2) they are not alone &3) help is available was,alas, wasted.

I'm sure Steve is the tip of a very large iceberg of marital violation.He should be ashamed.

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I agree both acts should be criminal.  A real man would not want to have sex with a woman who is not responsive.  If that was the case he should have bought a blow up doll.  To deliberately  rape your wife with the hope of getting her pregnant for the fourth time is heinous, especially when you consider she didn't want his first child.  And to use her religion as a leash to keep her is worse.  I say she should divorce him, and then repent.  God did not say stay married to a liar and rapist.  He should be in jail. 

As for the other couple.  He should divorce her and take custody of their son.  She lack morals, character , and integrity.

I think Dr. Phil was absolutely right for criticizing that woman the way he did. Relationships are based on trust and what she did was betray his trust to the fullest. She allowed him to believe they were protected and he trusted her because he loved her. If she was selfish enough to lie about being on birth control, then I don't believe condoms are even enough to stop a woman determined to get pregnant. All she'd have to do then is poke holes in the condom. How is this any different? What then,  keep your condoms in a safe and burn them when you are finished? If you have to do that then you know you can't trust your partner, and if you know you can't trust her then you wouldn't have sex with her at all. The problem is he thought he could trust her, he thought he was in love with her.  I know because  I've experienced this situation myself with my son and it is awful. Once I knew I couldn't trust her it was too late,  my son was on his way. When I didn't want to be with her because of this betrayal, she threatened to keep me away from my son, so I stayed and tried to regain the trust in her and feel the love I felt before. Now three years have passed and we still aren't happy. We broke up for six months and she left the state with my son. That was the worst six months of my life. I saw him two days out of the entire six months because she wouldn't let him come see me and in order for me to go to him I would have to take some time off from work, which I couldn't afford to do. I still had to eat and pay child support, you know. We got back together 3 months ago and the same problems are still here. I'm going to tell her how I feel even though I know I may lose my son again. I guess I'll have to come up with the $1500 for a custody lawyer so I can get my 2 weekends a month. I guess I just shouldn't have trusted a woman huh?