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Topic : 06/05 Conception Deception

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Created on : Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 03:23:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 11/28/05) What if your husband tricked you into getting pregnant? What if your wife lied to you and got pregnant? First, Stacy didn't tell Derek she went off birth control until after she got pregnant. He thought he was doing the right thing by marrying her but now feels trapped. When Stacy reveals the real reason she went off birth control, will Derek decide to stay in the marriage, or is it over? Next, Steve got Mary pregnant so that she would marry him. Since they've had more than one unplanned child, how does he keep getting her pregnant, and is he trying to trap her? Share your thoughts.


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January 30, 2007, 8:18 pm CST

Steve is a rapist

Of the two cases presented on today's show,I think Steve horrified me the most.For Steven to have sex with his wife Mary while she was asleep,where she was not in a position to give consent, was nothing short of  RAPE.

It was bad enough that he thought so little of her own feelings & desires that he would basically conscript her to mothering FOUR children,a huge responsibility for a woman who PLANS that many kids,let alone one who has her reproductive will ignored & dismissed for her spouse's selfish insecurities.It was even more appalling that this man cannot provide for all the children & lets his wife go hungry.But for him to treat his violation of his sleeping wife,& utterly deprive her of the right to say,"No" as some sort of roguish,bigboy lark sickens me beyond belief.

.I was somewhat dismayed that the emphasis was placed on the pregnancy & not the violation that caused it.Mary is clearly traumatised by being raped by the one person in the world she should be able to trust to treat her body with affection,dignity & respect.She needs more than marriage counselling;she needs rape counselling.

Dr Phil talks about deal breakers in a marriage:this would be one of those for me.I don't know how or if she should forgive such a betrayal.Asking someone to stay married to their rapist,is in my book,asking too much.

I'm not familiar with the laws of the United States,but in my country,Australia,rape within marriage is a prosecutable offence.

If the same applies in the U.S.,Mary should think about having him charged & face a court for his actions.Then he might at last get it that taking sex without asking permission is unacceptable,whether it be a stranger on the street or a spouse you claim to love.

Mary deserves better than this narcissistic loser who lies,violates & cannot support his family.

I thought Dr.Phil spoke good sense to him,but I don't think  enough emphasis was placed on the fact that marriage did NOT give him the right to do what is now in many Western democracies,an illegal act.If he wants to save his marriage,he needs to understand the gravity of his actions & the terrible psychological damage he has done to his wife.

I also think an opportunity to get the message out to those in the viewing audience that are victims or perpetrators of spousal rape that 1) it is wrong 2) they are not alone &3) help is available was,alas, wasted.

I'm sure Steve is the tip of a very large iceberg of marital violation.He should be ashamed.

 

 

.

 
February 12, 2007, 8:09 pm CST

06/05 Conception Deception

Quote From: lisette67

Of the two cases presented on today's show,I think Steve horrified me the most.For Steven to have sex with his wife Mary while she was asleep,where she was not in a position to give consent, was nothing short of  RAPE.

It was bad enough that he thought so little of her own feelings & desires that he would basically conscript her to mothering FOUR children,a huge responsibility for a woman who PLANS that many kids,let alone one who has her reproductive will ignored & dismissed for her spouse's selfish insecurities.It was even more appalling that this man cannot provide for all the children & lets his wife go hungry.But for him to treat his violation of his sleeping wife,& utterly deprive her of the right to say,"No" as some sort of roguish,bigboy lark sickens me beyond belief.

.I was somewhat dismayed that the emphasis was placed on the pregnancy & not the violation that caused it.Mary is clearly traumatised by being raped by the one person in the world she should be able to trust to treat her body with affection,dignity & respect.She needs more than marriage counselling;she needs rape counselling.

Dr Phil talks about deal breakers in a marriage:this would be one of those for me.I don't know how or if she should forgive such a betrayal.Asking someone to stay married to their rapist,is in my book,asking too much.

I'm not familiar with the laws of the United States,but in my country,Australia,rape within marriage is a prosecutable offence.

If the same applies in the U.S.,Mary should think about having him charged & face a court for his actions.Then he might at last get it that taking sex without asking permission is unacceptable,whether it be a stranger on the street or a spouse you claim to love.

Mary deserves better than this narcissistic loser who lies,violates & cannot support his family.

I thought Dr.Phil spoke good sense to him,but I don't think  enough emphasis was placed on the fact that marriage did NOT give him the right to do what is now in many Western democracies,an illegal act.If he wants to save his marriage,he needs to understand the gravity of his actions & the terrible psychological damage he has done to his wife.

I also think an opportunity to get the message out to those in the viewing audience that are victims or perpetrators of spousal rape that 1) it is wrong 2) they are not alone &3) help is available was,alas, wasted.

I'm sure Steve is the tip of a very large iceberg of marital violation.He should be ashamed.

 

 

.

I agree both acts should be criminal.  A real man would not want to have sex with a woman who is not responsive.  If that was the case he should have bought a blow up doll.  To deliberately  rape your wife with the hope of getting her pregnant for the fourth time is heinous, especially when you consider she didn't want his first child.  And to use her religion as a leash to keep her is worse.  I say she should divorce him, and then repent.  God did not say stay married to a liar and rapist.  He should be in jail. 

 

As for the other couple.  He should divorce her and take custody of their son.  She lack morals, character , and integrity.

 
May 23, 2007, 8:36 am CDT

You can't be serious

Quote From: debsays

i watched the show tonight and this is the first time  that Dr . Phil p...sd me off.   All I could think of is what a pompous ass.  This woman and this man had sex numerous time and the man asked "are you on the pill"  please if you are so concerned then you should either 1. Not have relationships (sex) or 2. have control of the the birth control yourself.    

  

Why are you with this woman, after 3 years have you not figured out what you want or are you just hanging on for the free sex and the not have to bother about looking for a new relationship.  

  

I have watched a lot of Dr. Phil and tonight I was very disappointed in him.    This came as a great surprise to me as usually I am all for his direction and confirmations.  This one I don't agree with and I am quite upset at the way that he treated the female on the show.  She is not some skank that picked him up off the street.  He was in the relationship as much as she was.  The time to talk about conception is before the act not "Hey honey are you protected"  If he didn't want children then do something to prevent it dont depend on someone else to do it for you or don't participate. Whats the old saying " you play you pay".   There are thousands who would cherish having a child and cant and now we have this man who was "trapped"  into parenthood.  Please.  Is the woman not as trapped.  Get a life, whoops you already have one   -   feel yourself blessed and quit your whining.  

  

Dr. Phil, I'm dissapointed on how you attacked this woman and sided with the male.  It was a show that needed to be dealt with in  a gentler manner and I feel that you sided with the man and I don't  usually feel that, I feel that you are always for both but I was disappointed in this show. 

I think Dr. Phil was absolutely right for criticizing that woman the way he did. Relationships are based on trust and what she did was betray his trust to the fullest. She allowed him to believe they were protected and he trusted her because he loved her. If she was selfish enough to lie about being on birth control, then I don't believe condoms are even enough to stop a woman determined to get pregnant. All she'd have to do then is poke holes in the condom. How is this any different? What then,  keep your condoms in a safe and burn them when you are finished? If you have to do that then you know you can't trust your partner, and if you know you can't trust her then you wouldn't have sex with her at all. The problem is he thought he could trust her, he thought he was in love with her.  I know because  I've experienced this situation myself with my son and it is awful. Once I knew I couldn't trust her it was too late,  my son was on his way. When I didn't want to be with her because of this betrayal, she threatened to keep me away from my son, so I stayed and tried to regain the trust in her and feel the love I felt before. Now three years have passed and we still aren't happy. We broke up for six months and she left the state with my son. That was the worst six months of my life. I saw him two days out of the entire six months because she wouldn't let him come see me and in order for me to go to him I would have to take some time off from work, which I couldn't afford to do. I still had to eat and pay child support, you know. We got back together 3 months ago and the same problems are still here. I'm going to tell her how I feel even though I know I may lose my son again. I guess I'll have to come up with the $1500 for a custody lawyer so I can get my 2 weekends a month. I guess I just shouldn't have trusted a woman huh?

 
January 31, 2008, 5:30 am CST

I think there should be a followup on this!

I am interested in both couples, but I especially want to know if the woman in the last segment divorced the rapist.
 
February 20, 2008, 7:42 pm CST

it happens

my boyfriend and i have been together since september of 2006. we have a 5 1/2 month old daughter together. in july of 2007, his ex eagerly told me she was pregnant for him and due the first week of october of 2007. she told me she knew he and i was together prior and during her pregnancy. they have a 4 year old daughter. she had a girl also. i was devastated and couldn't believe my first time at motherhood was a very sad time for me. he cried and beg for forgiveness. she stated she was on birth control to him and really wasn't. i told him he was wrong for sleeping with her if he didn't want to be with her. they both agreed it was just sex but she must have still had feelings for him. she hates me because he and i are still together and i had a child for him. he's not in the other baby's life and i told him, he chose to sleep with her so he has to take care of his responsibilities. he is paying his child support on both of their kids. he's not positive the baby is his but believes its his. she keeps telling him he needs to be in the baby's life or he can't see the older child they had during their relationship. he says that it's hard for him to get use to the baby because they weren't in a relationship before, during, and after her pregnancy and they both knew it was just sex and she misled him about her birth control. she wants him to see the baby at her house and at her convenience, which he refuses. i try to keep out of their situation but do intervene if it affects our child. we are planning a wedding. any advice?
 
April 21, 2009, 11:23 am CDT

06/05 Conception Deception

Quote From: pammax

SELFISH!!!!!!!! Thank goodness someone finally said the truth about these people. They were both deceptive, manipulative, selfish human beings. The people that trapped their partners also trapped their children into a web of lies not love. Since all of the parties involved know that their relationships are based on lies none of them will ever truly trust one another. All of the people blaming this man for not using a condom when they had talked about birthcontrol and had agreed on a mehod reeks of women who might have done the same thing to their partners and have justified their deceit with the implication of his irresposibility. Wow, there are some messed up human beings out there. How would you feel if some one did this to one of your children?
My daughter has now graduated with  honours fron high school and finished first year University.  Mother disappeared years ago.  My daughter is well adjusted but knows she can't count  in a mother.
 
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