Quote From: jewelerboyThere are so many confusing issues involved here, Again let me help you get it.
For decades women have wanted equal rights, women have wanted pay equity, the right to own property, the right to vote etc and have all all times and in all issues been seen as equal to men. If Women want to be equal.. then they should " walk the walk". What you see as " hostility" is actually frustration.
When a message poster says " he should have worn a condom" to the man who was tricked into pregnancy..what are they (THEY NOT ME)... are really saying is no matter what your relationship.. you should not trust a woman. Let help you more. If SHE says she is on the pill ( and she isnt) some people blame HIM for not being smart enough to protect HIMSELF. Turn the tables for a minute.. when a MAN is sneaky and gets her pregnant you people want to form a lynch mob.
In that instance you are saying... if SHE lies.. she should be supported.. if HE lies.. the expectation is different. Hence the sarcasm from my dads imaginary speech. The sarcasm was designed to point out the stupid idea of a womans integrity requirement being lower than a mans. Women fought for decades to achieve equality.. but equality is not served "buffet style" you dont get to take it and leave it on a whim.
My point is if you want to live up to the example set by women who cleared the path for equality, you have to hold women accoutable for their actions.. the same as you do men.
Everytime I hear somone bleating out " I feel your pain" to either of the women in this show i cant help but wonder why we are not outraged for one woman hijacking a mans life by LYING to him and another woman who seems to be shooting for a record number of " not at all my fault" children.
It is not mysogonystic.. it is the disparity of consequence that each sex is held to.. despite the assumed want of women to be "equal" to men.
If you hold men responsible for YOUR uterus how much other responsibility should you give up?
Again I go back to the parachute.. if you are skydiving will you "just trust someone else" to make sure you have a parachute.. or will you handle that detail yourself?
Nobody " exerts power" over Mary..Mary allows it.. and for kid two.. three and four.. Mary has trusted someone else to make sure she has a parachute.. she should stop skydiving. Clearly hers is an unfortunate situation, but she needs to either leave him.. or find a way of preventing pregnancy.
BTW I do not remember ANYONE controlling Mary's use of Birth control as you alluded to .
I am not stubbornly refusing to "see or consider any other aspect" I would hope that all people in this world find a way of being treated equally, those that hope to advance womens rights in this world should stop trying to make it okay for a woman to abdicate her responsibility for her fertility and should certainly stop the double standard of letting them off the hook for lying to men, while trying to lynch men who lie to women.
Ya wanna be equal.. start acting equal
and start holding your "sisters" responsible when they do something you would want to lynch a man for doing.
It happened to me.
I was a stockbroker in a firm in Toronto we a hired a brokerage assistant and she was " like all of us".. what I mean about this is we are all degreed, backgrounds in economics etc, we hire a staff member who like us handles millions of dollars a week in client funds.. all of us trustable with our word as our bond. The assistants term with us is finished and we decide to "go out". Remenber again, this woman has held herself out as trustworthy.. and claims to have the same goals and carreer hopes as the rest of this office. I ask about birthcontrol proir to ANY horizontal position and I am assured of her use of the pill. Remember.. she is a professional 25 plus year old in a professional business peer group.. so I trust her. Why?? because it never occoured to me that a woman was somehow less trustworthy than a man. She calls my secretary and says " If we let men make these kind of decisions there would be no children" and "once he sees the baby he will be fine" The only time she could find the time to tell me she lied was after it was too late. So now I get to pay her for her lies.. which meant i could not afford to have children of my own. Further something about her uterus functioning led her to believe that it was okay to try to force herself into my life, she called my parents, would hang around my house when i was not home .. told her story to my neighbours etc and treats me like I owe her something. I had to have the police remove her from my front steps twice.
The woman who says " it takes two" needs to understand.. it only takes one who is lying.
the women who condone this type of action do very little to advance the cause of women as trustworthy responsible people who should be treated equally in all aspects of life.
Hope I did not sound too "dense" or stubborn..what happend to me was totally unfair and derailed my life to the point of suicide.. and it happens every day.. and women are not too outraged by it apparently.
Jewelerboy,
You held onto HER, relying on her parachute during the jump--while not wearing a parachute of your own. Halfway down the fall, she says, "Oh, this is just a knapsack." Had you been wearing your own parachute (condom!), her knapsack would not have been a failure to you.
Every talk about birth control that I have ever heard (by professional health care providers and safe sex proponents) says USE TWO FORMS OF BIRTH CONTROL. Anything less is still risky--even with the best of intentions.
Now, mind you, I am not pointing fingers about your stupidity--or carelessness. I made the same mistake (i.e., When my partner insisted on no birth control, I did not initially hold my ground to protect myself). I do, however, take responsibility for the choice I made that contributed to the outcome (unplanned pregnancy).
If my ex- entered into another relationship with a woman, he would repeat all his same old behaviors that destroyed our union no matter how hard he tried to hold on. He won't accept responsibility for more than just the smallest of his behaviors being a problem. I do accept the mistakes I made (big and small) and, therefore, am in a better position to change them for future. I hope you are able to take the same open, honest look at your own mistakes/ contributions and legitimately learn from them.
This woman's lying to you (manipulation & control) was despicable, no question about it.... My ex-husband's manipulation, control, and other abuse of me (including sleep-sex rape) was/ is also despicable. These things are outrageous, all, and should not be perpetrated or tolerated by anyone--regardless of gender.
Realize that your situation should not be generalized to defame all women and/ or the women's rights issues. WOMEN'S RIGHTS ISSUES ARE REALLY HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUES. [Or, to quote my coffee mug, "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."]
Despite the crap my ex-husband has put me through (in some cases, still puts me through), I do not believe that all--or even most--men would be like this. On the contrary, I believe most men would have a better grasp on how to treat another human being with respect and be willing to at least consider the consequence of their own actions to the other person (male or female).
I do not allow myself to generalize my negative feelings toward him to men as a whole. I do, however, let this previous life lesson lead me to be more cautious--on multiple levels--in how I deal with men (including holding my ground--about birth control, among other things). TWO FORMS. Anything less is still being risky.
(Original Air Date: 11/28/05) What if your husband tricked you into getting pregnant? What if your wife lied to you and got pregnant? First, Stacy didn't tell Derek she went off birth control until after she got pregnant. He thought he was doing the right thing by marrying her but now feels trapped. When Stacy reveals the real reason she went off birth control, will Derek decide to stay in the marriage, or is it over? Next, Steve got Mary pregnant so that she would marry him. Since they've had more than one unplanned child, how does he keep getting her pregnant, and is he trying to trap her? Share your thoughts.
I am really surprized no one liked my hamster story... but it is a partially true story and not made up. See this cute little gal belongs now to my youngest son who talked me into getting her. AND SINCE HE HAS HAD HER, HE HAS LOST HER 5 TIMES. Including underneath the 6 level, 300 book shelf that needed to be removed to get her out. And the 5th time he lost her I told him if you lose this hamster one more time... You are going to lose custody of it! And he hasn't lost her since. AW isn't she cute! She's a teddy bear hamster.
AND THAT'S THE REASON I LOVE AND WANT KIDS.... **laugh**
