Topic : 06/05 Conception Deception

Quote From: yarles

you hit the nail on the head.very good.

Quote From: ashley3h

As much as I love Dr. Phil I totally agree with you.  Dr. Phil did not stand up for women who have been in this situation the way I expected him to, I was disappointed.  My husband has done this very thing to me beginning 8 yrs ago.  We went through counseling and eventually divorced, because I have so many bad feelings toward him, and he doesn't get why.  Last March I decided to give it one more try with him, because I do love him and our children love him dearly, and since then he hasn't tried anything while I was asleep, but I can't bring myslef to be intimate with him and he still doesn't get it.  I saw the previews for the show and I made him sit down and watch, thinking Dr. Phil would just totally lay into this man, and maybe make my husband get it, but he didn't. I almost felt like a fool, I couldn't believe that Dr. Phil doesn't see this as the serious problem that I do.

Quote From: judyblue22

That's funny-you previously said that an unplanned pregnancy derailed your whole life and prevented you from having other children-yet you say that you don't think that a pregnancy affects the father?

Quote From: azwoman

That's not true. 

  

So many women don't report. So many men don't report. There's so much shame and questioning one's self. The victim victimizes his/herself. They want to ignore it. They want it to go away. It's hard to live with sexual assualt. 

  

(Sexual harassment typically veers more to words. And it's not any better. It's just a violating. Sometimes more so because who's at fault gets more distorted than ever.) 

  

Reading through your messages... I have to wonder... I only know one type of person who makes these statements. The psychology of that person... well, it's pretty much a consensus. 

Quote From: blouic

The pill by itself is not 100%.  Only abstinence leaves you fully protected.  Using TWO FORMS of birth control is second best.  However, you chose to fly sans parachute (condom), risking not only pregnancy but all manner of STD--for yourself and any subsequent partner.   

  

I highly doubt you would have entered into a financial business transaction at the level of protection at which you entered into this woman's vagina.  It's unilaterally considered naive and stupid to rely only on the verbal assurances of your business partner.  All kinds of layers of safeguards are added into a contract to protect the savvy businessman on either end.   

  

You protected yourself inadequately--relied on only one form of birth control (less than that, even--merely on her word of being on the pill) without  backup of another.  Now you are bitter about reaping the consequences of that poorly protected transaction.  Bites, does't it? 

  

Accept responsibility for your own part in getting yourself burned, learn from it, and maybe then you'll stand you a chance of preventing it from happening again.  Oh, wait--you've already indicated that you won't be using a condom ever, in another posting ("I won't use or be 'extra sensitive' anything. ask blouic.").  Maybe some people just don't learn.   

  

Good luck forming good partnerships.  You'll need it. 

Quote From: blouic

Sorry, dude.  Your logic is underwhelming.  I argue that I believe her because I have been there--I know it happens--I know how it happens.  This makes mine more than an uneducated guess.  For any who want to learn more about the subject (sleep-sex rape), do a message board search for blouic.  Plenty of messages there explaining. 

  

Jewelerboy, you may be cute...but you're no jewel.  Plenty of men out there do get it, do have an open mind, and do know how to behave with proper sensitivity toward someone who is hurting.  Maybe some sensitivity training would do you some good.  I hope you do some serious soul-searching and avoid getting involved with someone any time soon. 

Quote From: sumgrrl

 Especially after jewlerboy acknowledged my first post on this board about why I could have become pregnant while on the pill.  Obviously he knows there are legitimate reasons why oral contraceptives can fail.  He even suggested a few that I had not considered!

And, even though I chose abortion, I TOTALLY understand why some women find that option unacceptable as a solution after birth control failure.  I would never accuse a woman who's ethical/religious beliefs forbade abortion of deliberately trapping a man because of birth control failure!

A little off topic, but why has no one (at least to my knowledge) mentioned that because men have fewer post coital choices than women, they owe it to themselves to be really careful where their sperm end up?  That is, if you really don't want to be a daddy, make sure you don't leave your sperm where some conniving ovum can trick the poor things into fertilizing it!  WEAR A CONDOM!

Quote From: jewelerboy

This originated with you telling me I needed to believeshe was actually asleep 

That story did not have a ring of truth to it 

You argue she was 

I argue she as not 

neither of us will ever know for sure 

hence the 50/50 chance of either of us being right 

You argue she should be beleived because the SS guards know about the holocaust 

I argue she should not be believed because of the convienence of the excuse in light of her actual actions  (playing the victim, while not being victimized enough to leave, being outraged while having child after child) 

both of us are making educated guesses only ( my guess seems more educated in that i dont need WW2 to help me understand this woman).. but none the less we are both guessing 

hence 50% to each of us 

Quote From: azwoman

This is something I also wondered about. 

  

This is probably true and at the same time, I still wish he would have laid into him. 

  

I wanted him to at least intimate that it was rape. 

  

He did intimate that perhaps it was best for the marriage to end ("and if you decide to go your separate ways, then..."), but it seemed well undercut by him following up with being willing to suppor tthem staying together. 

  

My stomach rolls at the idea of her staying with her abuser. She looks so beaten down already, so defeated. It's a shame there isn't a place for woman to live together and strengthen each other. I'd like a roommate who appreciates being treated well. Victims are so appreciative of kindness, no matter how small. They usually give a lot in return due to gratitude. 

Quote From: sumgrrl

 Especially after jewlerboy acknowledged my first post on this board about why I could have become pregnant while on the pill.  Obviously he knows there are legitimate reasons why oral contraceptives can fail.  He even suggested a few that I had not considered!

And, even though I chose abortion, I TOTALLY understand why some women find that option unacceptable as a solution after birth control failure.  I would never accuse a woman who's ethical/religious beliefs forbade abortion of deliberately trapping a man because of birth control failure!

A little off topic, but why has no one (at least to my knowledge) mentioned that because men have fewer post coital choices than women, they owe it to themselves to be really careful where their sperm end up?  That is, if you really don't want to be a daddy, make sure you don't leave your sperm where some conniving ovum can trick the poor things into fertilizing it!  WEAR A CONDOM!