Topic : 01/18 "Fighting Over the Will"

My Mom passed away 13 years ago, and my Stepdad passed away 3 years ago.  There are 4 children, I am the oldest, then my sister, brother, and youngest sister, who is the daughter of this union, my Mom was divorced when I was 4, my sister was 2, and my Mom was still pregnant with my brother.  Our lives have not been easy, but we had plenty to eat, were clothed, my Mom worked a good job, etc.  My Mom met , dated, and married my Stepdad who was a wonderful man, I loved him dearly.  Of course we had our problems, fights, and so on like families do,  my little sister was born, and all was well.   

To make a long story short, when my Dad passed away, he put in his will for all of us kids to be treated "equally" and we were to divide up the household goods any way we saw fit.  My middle sister chose not to participate in cleaning out our family home, so myself, my brother, and youngest sister did the task, and it took us 4 days to go through "stuff", it was sad, and happy at the same time, just  thinking of the good times, and why my parents kept so much stuff to begin with!  We laughed, we cried, it was ok. 

Well, my middle sister has not spoken to us much since Dad died, she thinks she got "screwed over" because she did not get much in personal items, she did get her share of money, but she refused to participate in any family holidays, and I am just sick about it.  It is only the 4 of us left, and I am so upset by the fact that she refuses to see us or talk to us.  My Dad had a  classic car, he did not put it into the will, I did not want the car, my younger sister thought my brother should have it, since that is what he and my Dad had in common together, and worked on the car together.  My middle sister decided all of the sudden she wants it, maybe to sell it.  We told her if she wants it, she can get it, but it stays in the family.  How can I get the family back together, and put all of this other stuff behind us?? 

My mother passed away almost three years ago.  I am the youngest of four girls.  There is me, age 33, my sisters are ages 34, 39, and 40 (I think, on the last two).  Anyway, my 33 year old sister and I did many things for our mother once she became diagnosed with emphzyma.  My mother even lived with me at one time and ended up passing away in my other sisters house.  To make a long story short, my family never had much growing up.  Our parents were seperated but still involved in each others lives.  They just didnt live together.  My mother had life insurance for many years and many times had mentioned taking out other policices so us girls had money after she passed away.  During her last few days of life, my oldest sister, started telling my Aunts and Uncles (on my moms side) that my husband and I had taken out an insurance policy on our mother.  After losing our mother, and cleaning up my mothers apartment, my sister and I found the paperwork about an additional insurance policy, and come to find out our oldest sister had taken out an insurance policy on our mother.  This particular sister was in the process of losing her brand new home and filing bankruptcy.  She had our entire family convinced that I was the evil one when all along it was her.  During my mothers last few days of life, my 34 year old sister and I stayed with our mother every waking second and while sleeping of the day.  Mean time, our other two sisters were taking everything our mother owned.  After losing our mother, we went to clear out her apartment, and the only things left in there was trash.  We were left scrubbing toilets and cleaning up the place, meantime they got all of her belongings.  Dont get me wrong, I do NOT regret spending time with our dying mother, but it was just BS that they went in there and took everything she owned.  Lots of things were things we had bought for her in the past.   

This happened almost three years ago, and the older sister and I still do not talk.  I even see her in public and we dont speak.   

Money does evil things to some people.  It is a shame how when someone passes away people get greedy.   

Why people get all up in arms about stuff like this! 

My husband's mom has her will made out.  She just recently did this, AND she had a power of attorney drafted.  She had a copy sent to him so that he could see what it said, and asked that he sign it.  It made his sister the primary and only required signature on the POA.  My husband got VERY upset about all of this, saying that he and his sister should have equal rights on this.  I don't agree...because we are thousands of miles away, and his sister lives a few towns over.  If something should happen that requires a VERY quick decision, by the time they notified my husband, got his approval/signature, etc, things could go wrong.  I think if we were in the same area, it would be different.  He thinks that his sister will come in and start taking stuff out of the house before he gets a chance to get there.   

It happened to his father, and he's very untrusting of this now.  I think that if you can't trust your own mother and sister to do what's right, who can you trust? 

We have wills, too.  Both of us have different people we want to care for our children.  I have it specifically stated that if we both die at the same time, his wishes supercede mine...but should I pass on after him, my will stands.  I hope that our kids don't argue, nor do family members, should this ever have to pass. 

Greed is a terrible thing. The real tragedy of it is, that you "spend" so much of your life being greedy that when you maybe get the money that you wanted, the money is  worthless because of the life that you've "spent" 

You know those women just wanted to get their hands on Grandmas land so they could split it up and have fake nails put on every week, or go to the hairdressers more often.  Which, once the land and money is theirs, they can do with it what they want- but kudos for Gram for holding out on the vultures!!!!! 

My Gram was the coolest woman in the world. She has been gone 4 years now and I miss her every damn day, keep her picture on my refrigerator and tell my kids stories  involving her. We live in her house. She kept wanting to sign it over to me, my brother and sister wanted me to have it,and I told them that our  mother would have a fit if she did. So, she left it in my mothers name. Today, after paying rent  to buy for 6 years on the house, (32,400, total) and giving my mother another 30,000 down payment, we are buying the house!!!!!!!!! We will have a 50,000 mortgage on a house which I believe is a mansion of memories, and it was worth every last penny. Jimmy Carter may be the great "peace keeper", but he has a rival in me!!!!! 

Please forgive my grammar mistakes as I'm russian and english is my second language. I absolutely despise people like Aileen daughter and granddaugther, These people are arrogant, selfcentered and simply greedy.And I congratulate Aileen for not giving in to her off spring demands and rather preffer to be alone than with that kind of family. I could only hope that any of us will be as bright and sharp as Aileen in our 80's. It hurts me to see that money issue cause Aillen so much suffering and loneliness. She reminds me so much of my deseased granmother who was tough cookie and bright till the last day of her life when cancer claimed her life. I loved to spend time with my grandmother, listen to her story and learned from her wisdom. She was my best friend even closer than my mother and I missed her greatly. THat is why it  hurts me so much to see that daugther and granddaughter got so much caught up with money and other material things that they rob themself blind of all those good things that they can learn and experience if they would live in peace and trust Eilleen's judgment because it looks to me that Eileen is more intelligent than those two combine afterall.  

Daughter and granddaughter are entitled, selfish little monsters that never grew up.  They seem to be forgetting something; this is NOT their property!  They're acting like it's theirs and this mean old lady is stealing it from them!  Did they work the land?  Judging by the look of them, they wouldn't know how.  "I was on welfare because of her!"  No, you were on welfare because you have a warped sense of entitlement.  Bottom line:  this is NOT YOUR LAND!  You have NO RIGHT to demand anything!  If I were Grandma, I would leave every last bit of it to a land trust where your greed cannot touch it.  You two are a couple of scheming, greedy (word I can't post) and if you got that land, that poor woman would end up on the streets.  You aren't fooling anyone!