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Topic : 01/18 "Fighting Over the Will"

Number of Replies: 373
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Created on : Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 03:25:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Airdate: 11/29/05) When you imagine receiving an inheritance, you might dream that all your financial problems would be solved. But sometimes, the money is more trouble than it's worth. Eighty-four-year-old Aileen inherited a 2,000-acre farm after her husband died. But is her granddaughter, Amber, jumping the gun by wanting her mother's name on the title now? Then, Tracy says her 19-year-old son, Mark, changed when he came into a large inheritance this year after his dad passed away. She says the money wasn't what changed her son, but his long-lost friend, Brandon. Talk about the show here.

 

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November 29, 2005, 1:10 pm CST

Sask farmer

They make 'em tough out here in Saskatchewan and that 84 year old grandma is a  good example. That's because it is so darn cold you need a hide like shoe leather to survive.  I sure hope they do put all their differences aside and make the best of it because the truth is, grandma doesn't have all that many years left. That's the blunt and brutal truth.  In the second family, I can understand why the Mom wants to maintain control,. but it really is out of her hands. She just hasn't gotten it through her head. I think she's trying to protect him from his 'friends'. The friend's mother really should butt out! She has more nerve than common sense!
 
November 29, 2005, 1:12 pm CST

inheritance

I have never been left anything to inherit, but I do have to say this much.  That 19 yr old, is wrong, he may be of age, but at this point his mother should just let him fall on his ass, because that inheritance will not always be there and if he wants to blow it then, by all means let him, I am only 23, but I learned growing up, you never learn from your mistakes if your parents are right there to pick you up everytime you screw up, I have told my own mother several times, if I screw up, let me, its a learning lesson. I have to side with his mom, I know you only want whats best for him, but I think it is too late at this point.  He is 19 years old, let him blow it. When he turns 20 or 21, and comes to you for help, you kindly remind him that he is an adult and of age, and you tried to advise him all along but he didn't listen and he blew it. Let go and let God handle it, it will be the hardest thing ever but it is what has to be done.  If he decides to get some common sense he will know to invest that money.  As for his "so called" friend, I firmly believe he is using him, hell he is driving around his car that his father left him, EYE OPENER!! You are his mum and I know it may be hard to let go but I truly think he needs to learn a lesson.
 
November 29, 2005, 1:15 pm CST

11/29 "Fighting Over the Will"

Quote From: jencamp

I hope grandma lives til 104 and she probably will on that beautiful farm she owns. Her greedy, rude, disrespectful, daughter and grandaughter do not deserve to own that farm. Shame on them!!!After the show, grandma ought to run straight to her attorney's office to change the power of attorney to someone who she can trust and maybe she ought to think about donating her land to the Nature conservancy or the Canadian equivalent.  

Hey! What a great idea! She could leave it to Ducks Unlimited!. We need all the preservation sites we can get. 
 
November 29, 2005, 1:15 pm CST

Shame on you!!

 Shame on you granddaughter, and daughter!!  That women worked her entire life to build a home for her family, no wonder she just doesn't want to sign it over with the stroke of a pen.  I would be embarrassed if I EVER talked or even thought some of the things these horrible, greedy, selfish women have said about their mother, and grandmother.
 
November 29, 2005, 1:18 pm CST

It really is worth getting over this

Quote From: sarnold09

My mother passed away almost three years ago.  I am the youngest of four girls.  There is me, age 33, my sisters are ages 34, 39, and 40 (I think, on the last two).  Anyway, my 33 year old sister and I did many things for our mother once she became diagnosed with emphzyma.  My mother even lived with me at one time and ended up passing away in my other sisters house.  To make a long story short, my family never had much growing up.  Our parents were seperated but still involved in each others lives.  They just didnt live together.  My mother had life insurance for many years and many times had mentioned taking out other policices so us girls had money after she passed away.  During her last few days of life, my oldest sister, started telling my Aunts and Uncles (on my moms side) that my husband and I had taken out an insurance policy on our mother.  After losing our mother, and cleaning up my mothers apartment, my sister and I found the paperwork about an additional insurance policy, and come to find out our oldest sister had taken out an insurance policy on our mother.  This particular sister was in the process of losing her brand new home and filing bankruptcy.  She had our entire family convinced that I was the evil one when all along it was her.  During my mothers last few days of life, my 34 year old sister and I stayed with our mother every waking second and while sleeping of the day.  Mean time, our other two sisters were taking everything our mother owned.  After losing our mother, we went to clear out her apartment, and the only things left in there was trash.  We were left scrubbing toilets and cleaning up the place, meantime they got all of her belongings.  Dont get me wrong, I do NOT regret spending time with our dying mother, but it was just BS that they went in there and took everything she owned.  Lots of things were things we had bought for her in the past.   

This happened almost three years ago, and the older sister and I still do not talk.  I even see her in public and we dont speak.   

Money does evil things to some people.  It is a shame how when someone passes away people get greedy.   

I also have 3 sisters and have lost both parents. If one of my sisters had taken out an insurance policy on my mom, I would have been pleased that they'd gotten a bit of help in their lives. My mom had some beautiful pieces of jewelry and furniture and I didn't really want any of it. Her clothes (all expensive and lovely things) only fit 2 of my sisters. Mom had put her insurance policy only in my name and my sisters insisted that I keep the money. In the end, I think I got more even though there wasn't anything I wanted.  

Like in your case, only 2 of my sisters took care of mom until the end. One of my sisters actually quit her job to be with mom and my other sister had both mom and my sis living in her home for the 6 months before mom died. Myself and my other sister were 500 miles away and couldn't be there as often as we wanted but we spoke on the phone with mom and our sisters every day.  

  

There could have been bad feelings in our cases also but we were all determined not to let that happen and it's been a blessing because the 4 of us are close and couldn't have gotten through our parents loss without each other.  

You're the luckiest one... you got to spend time with your mom. All the things taken out of her home will never make up for that and even though it was selfish of your sisters, it would make your mom sad that you haven't spoken for 3 years. One of you has to be the bigger and better person... why not make it you? Put that stuff aside and bring your family together in love. It's worth it.. 

 
November 29, 2005, 1:21 pm CST

Grandmas will

If I were that Grandma I wouldn't leave those two greedy women (who call themselves daughter and granddaughter) one penny.  Don't they know that no one owes them anything.   If I were her I would leave the whole farm and all of the money to a charity of her choice.  I think It is a sad day when they can't wait until she is dead to get their hands on everything.  If the truth be known, they would probably grab the money and run.  Leaving Grandma with no money or a place to live.  Probably put her in the nursing home before she needs to go.   Don't they have any respect for her at all.       

 
November 29, 2005, 1:22 pm CST

Fighting over Will

After over 21 years of working with an attorney, I have seen some of the closet families fall apart after the death of a parent.  Sometimes there is next to nothing as far as assets and other times there is quite a bit of assets, although that doesn't seem to matter.  If people are greedy, they are greedy no matter what the value is.  My personal thoughts is that a person should do as they want with regard to their estate and it is no one business.  If my children were ever, in my lifetime, argue over my assets or try to influence what I do with them, they would get nothing.  I would leave it to my grandchildren (if deserved) held in trust until they reach a responsible age.  Or in the alternative if people find they are in that type of situation during their lifetime, SPEND IT!!!!  ENJOY IT!!  An inheirtance should be like an unexpected gift, not something that you have coming to you. 

 
November 29, 2005, 1:24 pm CST

Sure hope this doesn't happen to me

First, Grandma seems to be quite lucid and I certainly am glad to see that she doesn't want to develop the family farm.  Its a shame her daughter and granddaughter for sentimental reasons would like to!!  I personally would change my will to give it to someone that would appreciate it. 

  

Second, mom needs to let her boy grow up.  Not one red cent of that money is hers to do with what she feels fit.  If her son wants to blow it, then so be it.  He's an adult.  He has NO liability in paying back anyone's parents for his mother's divorce.  By the way, what made her think that this dead man's money was for her choice to divorce him?????? 

 
November 29, 2005, 1:25 pm CST

Wow!

Quote From: natykar

Please forgive my grammar mistakes as I'm russian and english is my second language. I absolutely despise people like Aileen daughter and granddaugther, These people are arrogant, selfcentered and simply greedy.And I congratulate Aileen for not giving in to her off spring demands and rather preffer to be alone than with that kind of family. I could only hope that any of us will be as bright and sharp as Aileen in our 80's. It hurts me to see that money issue cause Aillen so much suffering and loneliness. She reminds me so much of my deseased granmother who was tough cookie and bright till the last day of her life when cancer claimed her life. I loved to spend time with my grandmother, listen to her story and learned from her wisdom. She was my best friend even closer than my mother and I missed her greatly. THat is why it  hurts me so much to see that daugther and granddaughter got so much caught up with money and other material things that they rob themself blind of all those good things that they can learn and experience if they would live in peace and trust Eilleen's judgment because it looks to me that Eileen is more intelligent than those two combine afterall.  

You don't need to be forgiven for anything! You are doing great! THere's a lot of people that were born&raised here that need more help than you.. Give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back!
 
November 29, 2005, 1:25 pm CST

Fighting over the will

I don't  understand Amber and her mother, saying that Grandma is GREEDY!  Youve got to be kidding. 
It is all hers and she doesn't have to share, now or when she  is gone!!  I think she should change the will and let those ungrateful heirs of hers be without anything when she is gone. The only thing Amber is correct about, is that Grandma should make Dr. Phil the POA.  I wouldn't blame Grandma if she wanted to leave everything to some off the wall foundation!   They really need to show some respect for that old lady!
 
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