Topic : 01/18 "Fighting Over the Will"

it was interesting to see the different reactions to this situation.  while some elder people feel that their legal matters are "secretive" & only between them & their lawyer, i do agree that children should be informed.  when i listened to what the daughter & granddaughter said to & about their mother/grandmother, i feel that there is more to this story than what has been shared on your show today.  i also have an elderly mother, who has been widowed for many years,  who just finished getting her legal affairs in order.  she had promised things to one sibling & then due to disagreements, her feelings being hurt, & on the advise of her lawyer, she had her will changed.  this particular sibling knew what changes had been made, but continued on as if nothing had changed.  to make matters a bit worse, our mom has dimentia, so it was of great importance to her to get things in order.   i have signing authority on her bank account & another sibling has his name, along with hers, on the title of her house so there will be no problems with her finances or property when the time comes & we are left to take over.  then we have the other sibling.  he has not spoken to me or to my mom for several months & i feel very strongly that he will not speak to her again.  he feels i have manipulated my mother for my own gain, disregarding what her will first stated.  absolutey not true!!   everything is being split equally amongst us children.  she has names on important pieces of her belongings that she wants to ensure specific people get.  this has all been done with her being in control, done with a feeling of love & making sure that we as her children get what we would like & what she wants us to have.  even tho my other brother & i have our names on her financial accounts & property, nothing is done without her approval & a receipt to go along.  fortunately she has the trust & confidence in myself & my brother to know that we would never do anything without her approval or without her best interests in mind should her health worsen.  unfortunately, this has caused her to lose any form of communication with a son due to him feeling he has been wronged.   

like you always say, no financial gain is worth losing a family member over.   

i don't think that the whole story has come out with this family on your show, but i hope that things will get straightened out & that the trust & love that are missing will be found.  there is nothing worse for a parent than having a child with whom there is no or little communication.  i see the hurt daily as i watch my mom make many attempts to contact my brother, to tell him how much she loves him, to have him just give her a chance to explain her actions & to plead with him to call her so she can at least go to her grave knowing that her emotional affairs are also in order.  i can't imagine how a son/child could have such a hard spirit & who could listen to these messages & not respond to his mom & to the person who has been his best supporter for as long as i can remember.    

WOW.  I think that the daughter and granddaughter are cowards.  They tried to play it off that they wanted the land so "it can stay in the family."  Then a little way in to the show they talked about putting a development on the land.  The only reason that they want the land is to make more money from a development.  The saddest thing of all is the fact that the mother isn't even dead, and at this point I think that they should feel lucky that shes giving them anything.  Let me tell you if that were me in that situation I would give it to anyone but them.  It is sad to see how greed takes over people.  What horrible, horrible people they are.  Carma will come back and get them. 

Just another Opinion 

Wake up!!  It's Aileen's land, her money, and her decision.  Having greedy, disrespectful children can't be fun, and there's no reason she should reward them with any degree of  respect until it is earned.  

I am so sad for Aileen.  Sad that she has done all that a mother could do for her daughter, and yet receives no respect or dignity from that daughter.  I'm sad that her own daughter and grand-daughter seem to view her as nothing more than a savings book, ready to be traded (as soon as possible, apparently) for a lucrative development. 

If I were in a similar situation, surrounded by self serving and greedy heirs, I might be tempted to give the property to the provincial government, so that they could establish a home for orphans or the disadvantaged.  I would bet there are many people who would love the chance to roam the fields or fish in the river, rather than put up new a housing development or business park. 

I know the daughter  would be appalled at this, and I'm sure Aileen would not take such action.  But in 30 years, when the granddaguther tries to run Aaileen's daughter off the land so she can take ownership, I hope Aileen's position becomes clearer to that daughter.