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Topic : 06/29 House Call Intervention

Number of Replies: 221
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Created on : Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 03:35:31 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 12/01/05) Imagine finding your son passed out in his room with drug paraphernalia surrounding his body. When that happened to one mother, she made an important call for help. Dr. Phil’s son, Jay, was working with a family for his new reality show when the mom, Vikki, phoned to say that her son, Justin, had been lost to drugs. Dr. Phil made a surprise house call and insisted that the teen get help immediately. Find out what happens with Justin, and why Vikki thinks she's to blame for his drug use. Then, a stay-at-home mother of three was drinking bottles of wine and vodka every day -- she would even fill a sports drink bottle with alcohol and take it to her kids' school events. Did she break her deadly addiction? Join the discussion.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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December 1, 2005, 12:38 pm CST

A cry for help

I am a 39 yr old male who is currently battling the addiction of alcohol and crack cocaine. I am in need of immediate help due to my actions the other night. In November of 1988(appr) I was involved in an auto accident then led to the result of a fatality. Yes I have the blood of another on my hands. I am very ashamed of that and have suffered much guilt since the auto accident. The only way I have dealt with it is to continue to use to hide those deep emotions. The other night I again drove drunk in order to go get some crack. Yes I again put others lives in danger as well as my own. It is not my life that I have to much concern for but those that may be another victum of my addictions. So please feel free to hit that "REPORT TO STAFF" icon, it may save someones life! I was also a victum of child molestation. As a male this was very and still is very hard to deal with. The holidays are the worst seeing how the accident happended in November. So with christmas coming up and the news years I am as well as others are in grave danger. I live daily thinking about the man I killed, how his wife and kids must endure another year with out their love one. Its all my fault!!! They wont be buying gifts for their father husband or son this year, because of me. I just emailed the LaHacienda. The place where I beleive the young man is going from the show. So I am currently awaiting any response. I have also been emailing the show in order to try to see if there is any hope there. I am reaching out! I dont know what else to do! Life to some extent seems hopeless for me. I cant eliminate these feelings and the nightmares only continue. I am currently going to school in order to make a gateway (if I last that long) so that I may help others in some kind of theraputic way from what I have gone through. However I know I cant help anyone until I first can help myslef.
 
December 1, 2005, 12:50 pm CST

Worst & the luckiest day of my life

 They say things happen for a reason; well I am now an avid believer of that!!

  

 

 

  

 

I am the luckiest person alive! Thanks to Dr Phil & Jay I now have my son back. Justin returned home the day before Thanksgiving after 42 days at the La Hacienda Treatment Center. Although it was tough having him so far away; it was the best thing for him.

  

 

 

  

 

Our family attended meetings with Justin while he was at La Hacienda. We learned how to help ourselves and in turn how to help him through the recovery process. The whole process was extremely emotional, and enlightening. We met parents going through similar situations, and formed support groups amongst people experiencing the same difficulties. It made us confirm that we are not alone.

  

 

 

  

 

Justin has committed to staying sober, and continues to take the necessary steps. However every day presents a different challenge. We continue to monitor his progress, and provide the support he needs to be successful. We take one day at a time, and now look forward to the future.

  

 

 

  

 

The only advice I can offer is to ask questions; if you believe you have a problem seek outside assistance immediately. If something does not look right; it more than likely is a cry for help. We as mothers have blinders on when it comes to loving our kids; no one wants to believe it is their child that is in trouble. Ask for an outside opinion from someone who can be objective and proceed if necessary.

  

 

 

  

 

A million Thanks to everyone for their support; this holiday season I am thankful for having the McGraws in our life.

  

 

 

  

 

Dr Phil - Thank you for the house call; you have given our family a new lease on life.

  

 

  

 

  

 
December 1, 2005, 1:08 pm CST

Rodbohyer

Quote From: rodbohyer

I am a 39 yr old male who is currently battling the addiction of alcohol and crack cocaine. I am in need of immediate help due to my actions the other night. In November of 1988(appr) I was involved in an auto accident then led to the result of a fatality. Yes I have the blood of another on my hands. I am very ashamed of that and have suffered much guilt since the auto accident. The only way I have dealt with it is to continue to use to hide those deep emotions. The other night I again drove drunk in order to go get some crack. Yes I again put others lives in danger as well as my own. It is not my life that I have to much concern for but those that may be another victum of my addictions. So please feel free to hit that "REPORT TO STAFF" icon, it may save someones life! I was also a victum of child molestation. As a male this was very and still is very hard to deal with. The holidays are the worst seeing how the accident happended in November. So with christmas coming up and the news years I am as well as others are in grave danger. I live daily thinking about the man I killed, how his wife and kids must endure another year with out their love one. Its all my fault!!! They wont be buying gifts for their father husband or son this year, because of me. I just emailed the LaHacienda. The place where I beleive the young man is going from the show. So I am currently awaiting any response. I have also been emailing the show in order to try to see if there is any hope there. I am reaching out! I dont know what else to do! Life to some extent seems hopeless for me. I cant eliminate these feelings and the nightmares only continue. I am currently going to school in order to make a gateway (if I last that long) so that I may help others in some kind of theraputic way from what I have gone through. However I know I cant help anyone until I first can help myslef.
You have made the first important step, and that is asking for help. Please keep screaming it loud and clear and don't stop until you are heard !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP !! And please get the book " A Million Little Pieces " and read it .... it's another step in the right direction. I wish you all the best (((((((((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))))))))))) 
 
December 1, 2005, 1:10 pm CST

12/01 House Call Intervention

Quote From: prayininny

Hello everyone,   

 

I have been looking for some advice by reading the postings and their replies.  I have a problem that I just discovered days ago.  My son who just turned 18 in November is using drugs and drinking.  I actually have suspected this for about a year but until now I didnt know for sure.  I am not sure of what drug he is using/abusing and I have not confronted him yet because Im not sure of what I really want to say and his being 18 now leaves me wondering what I can do as his parent.  I am concerned that if I approach it in the wrong way that he will get very angry and move in to his father's place. It may seem that in a way, that would make things much easier on his Step-father and I but we both agree that it would be like throwing him away.  I have every reason to believe that he may have even started his drinking and drugs at his father's place.  I couldnt possibly write all the details of my situation on one page so I would appreciate it if there is anyone with a child who is 18 and has the situation where that child can easily just move out rather than face his problems--Please help.  Please let me know what you have learned (good or bad).  I do have 3 younger children to consider.  I am very tired, very sad.   

I too had the same problem.  I tried everything --treatment centers, a boy's ranch --NA meetings etc.   However, in the end the state stepped in and now my son is in prison for possession and intent to deliver methamphetine.  He is now 20 years old.  I hate to say it but it probably saved his life.   

  

I also have a middle son who is now 19 and going down the same path.  Due to the new Hippa laws (Oklahoma) the child has to call the treatment center in order to even be considered.   I called the treatment center one day while my son was in the same room and handed the phone to him so I would know that he talked to somebody. 

  

At one point, I kicked my oldest son out of the house.  You can not make them get help.  All you can do is be there when they are ready and pray everyday. 

  

I know what you are going through and feel like I know you even though I don't.  Just remember you are not alone. 

  

Once you have spoken with your son, you might want to contact the NA hotline --Narcotics Anoymous --This is a twelve step program --spiritual but not religious --that teaches the child how to live without the use of drugs  

  

My prayers are with you          

 
December 1, 2005, 1:27 pm CST

Thanks a million

Quote From: lostsoul2s

You have made the first important step, and that is asking for help. Please keep screaming it loud and clear and don't stop until you are heard !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP !! And please get the book " A Million Little Pieces " and read it .... it's another step in the right direction. I wish you all the best (((((((((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))))))))))) 
I am right now watching the show. I am in deep regeret that I did not have that opportunity at that age. I appreciate your kinds words and encouragement. I failed to offer an email to anyone that may have otehr avenues of help. It is rufus.inc@cablespeed.com.  I have been in treatment programs however it was always for everyone else around me. I have now come tot he point where I want it for myself. I want because somewhere deep inside I think that there may be a glimmer of hope that one day I may feel like life is worth living. I feel that someday if I can get this under control and take control of life then I may help children like the young man on the show. Part of me wants to give up hope. Part wants to just have it all end. However I have been down that road and it God did not allow me die so I must be being kept around for some reason or purpose. I need to find that prupose. I need to hang on to such a small minute glimmer of hope, in hopes that life will be better someday.
 
December 1, 2005, 1:40 pm CST

To You: rodbohyer

Quote From: rodbohyer

I am a 39 yr old male who is currently battling the addiction of alcohol and crack cocaine. I am in need of immediate help due to my actions the other night. In November of 1988(appr) I was involved in an auto accident then led to the result of a fatality. Yes I have the blood of another on my hands. I am very ashamed of that and have suffered much guilt since the auto accident. The only way I have dealt with it is to continue to use to hide those deep emotions. The other night I again drove drunk in order to go get some crack. Yes I again put others lives in danger as well as my own. It is not my life that I have to much concern for but those that may be another victum of my addictions. So please feel free to hit that "REPORT TO STAFF" icon, it may save someones life! I was also a victum of child molestation. As a male this was very and still is very hard to deal with. The holidays are the worst seeing how the accident happended in November. So with christmas coming up and the news years I am as well as others are in grave danger. I live daily thinking about the man I killed, how his wife and kids must endure another year with out their love one. Its all my fault!!! They wont be buying gifts for their father husband or son this year, because of me. I just emailed the LaHacienda. The place where I beleive the young man is going from the show. So I am currently awaiting any response. I have also been emailing the show in order to try to see if there is any hope there. I am reaching out! I dont know what else to do! Life to some extent seems hopeless for me. I cant eliminate these feelings and the nightmares only continue. I am currently going to school in order to make a gateway (if I last that long) so that I may help others in some kind of theraputic way from what I have gone through. However I know I cant help anyone until I first can help myslef.
KEEP REACHING OUT!!!
That is just what you should do
I saw a post of yours in the DIARIES
You are helping others too!
Don’t be surprised
When help comes back to you
You have support all around
From your rhyme-time neighbor
Blue

Blue Notes:
http://www.drphil.com/messageboard/topic/242/
 
December 1, 2005, 1:41 pm CST

Force feeding intervention

Quote From: joshadrick

I too had the same problem.  I tried everything --treatment centers, a boy's ranch --NA meetings etc.   However, in the end the state stepped in and now my son is in prison for possession and intent to deliver methamphetine.  He is now 20 years old.  I hate to say it but it probably saved his life.   

  

I also have a middle son who is now 19 and going down the same path.  Due to the new Hippa laws (Oklahoma) the child has to call the treatment center in order to even be considered.   I called the treatment center one day while my son was in the same room and handed the phone to him so I would know that he talked to somebody. 

  

At one point, I kicked my oldest son out of the house.  You can not make them get help.  All you can do is be there when they are ready and pray everyday. 

  

I know what you are going through and feel like I know you even though I don't.  Just remember you are not alone. 

  

Once you have spoken with your son, you might want to contact the NA hotline --Narcotics Anoymous --This is a twelve step program --spiritual but not religious --that teaches the child how to live without the use of drugs  

  

My prayers are with you          

It is very true that an individual can not receive help until they are ready to accept it or until they admit they have a problem. However it is a parents duty to do all they can do in the best interest of thier child. When I young in my teenage years I was forced to attend church services. If I was not I would not have the spiritul knowledge that I have now. If I did not have the spiritual beliefs that I have now I know I would be dead. There still are certain things that ring in my mind when the feeling of depsair become overwhelming those rings are probably the only thing that has kept alive thus far. So for any parents its better to do all you can then to sit in regret years down the road once its too late. I know what guilt may come of not doing all you can do. I have personally dealt with much guilt so I say force feed any child what you may. It may not make difference immediately however someday it may save your child life of the life another.
 
December 1, 2005, 1:43 pm CST

A life of drug abuse...

I am going to be 45 years old in January.  I am a wife, mother and grandmother, and a drug user.  I became addicted to hydrocodone after a car accident in which my neck was broken, along with other serious injuries.  I should have known better than to take pain killers.  I have a history of drug and alcohol abuse.  I started drinking when I was 12 hears old.  By the time I was eighteen I was smoking pot and snorting cocaine.  I stopped drinking when I became pregnant with my first child, but I didn't stop smoking pot.  In 1996 I was diagnosed as Bipolar with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  In 1997 I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital due to a severe manic episode.  Over the next few years I was kept so heavily sedated that I now have what is known as drug induced amnesia.  I literally cannot remember almost 7 years of my life.  I cannot remember my older children's high school graduations, or my youngest child's first foot steps and first Christmases.  When I look in the mirrror, I hate what I see.  I see a face and body that has been abused and mistreated by their owner, me.  This past year has been especially rough.  I have had some problems in my marriage which led me to go deeper into my drug use.  I use the pain killers to kill the pain that is in my heart and soul.  I have never  been able to hold a job because of the cycling of Bipolar disorder.  I am alienated from my family.  I love my husband so much, yet live in constant fear that he is going to leave me for another woman.  I have spent over half my life trying to escape the hurt and pain that dwells inside.  I come from a dysfunctional family and now I am afraid that is what I am passing on to my children.  Right now I have no medical insurance and cannot afford to pay for therapy or the medication for my mental illness.  I don't know what I am going to do.  But I do hope that whoever reads this message will hear what I am trying to say.  A life of drugs is no life at all.  Before you know it, you wake up and you are 45 years old and you wonder where did time go and why didn't you do things differently.  The regrets are overwhelming, and there is nothing you can do to turn back time.  I would give anything to find a little hope that the next 45 years of my life will be better than the first.  I want to live to see my grandchildren grow up.  I want to be a better wife, mother and grandmother.  But no one is coming to my rescue.  No one ever has, no matter how loud I've cried out for help.
 
December 1, 2005, 1:43 pm CST

tough love

I am the mother of a 17 year old young man and he was having a good old time not only at his expense but also his brothers and mine. I had to make a choice. I could have done the easy thing and let him continue his behavior of hurting himself and all the people that loved him. I love him to much to watch him destroy himself and our family so I did what hurt me most called the authorities when he was first caught drinking and smoking pot at the age of 13. The behavior he had told me that things were out of place but had no proof till I caught him red handed then did what I knew in my heart of hearts to be best for him. He went to a 21 day treatment program for children, then was drug free and sober for one year. Then his Grandfather became ill and he started using again. That is when I sent him to a group home.  He was removed from home and placed into a group home with people and staff that he could look to for help that he needed and really enjoyed the time he spent there with adult male staff that he could relate to on a man to man basis. His father died when he was 4 so he has had no male role model in his life other that his Grandfather who died 2 years ago. He is not angry with me anymore and now enjoys his life as a healthy happy teenager and still continues counsling on an outpatient basis one day a week.
 
December 1, 2005, 1:50 pm CST

They are kids.

Quote From: reddevil79

  

     I am tired of hearing about the poor drug users. These kids are put in Dare Programs from the time they enter school to the time they leave. It is a choice they make. I wish I had a choice. I have had severe Asthma for twenty years. I have stopped breathing three times. Let them wake up with tubes coming out of every part of your body. Waking up with your hands tied to the bed because it is such a shock to the patient. They freak out and pull the tubes out not knowing what they are doing. These kids and adults choose this. The people I feel sorry for are the families that have to deal with this. The children that caught up in the mess. They don't have a choice. It makes me sick to see healthy people ruin a perfect body with drugs and drinking too much.  

These are kids. They need help in every aspect of life. Sure what they are doing is their choice howvever you dont ever know why one does what they do. The pain that one person feels is exdhibiited in many forms. We must remain humain and cry when others cry, we must feel hurt when others feel hurt, we must laugh when others laugh, or be joyous when other are joyfull. We cant just disregard those that do not meet the standards we have selfishly set out of our own oppinion. Life is a circle and what comes around will sooner or later go around. I feel for you in regards to your asthma. I hurt for you. You did not ask for it and i understand you feel cheated, I feel your anger. I hope your heart softens to the children and teenagers of this world because I am sure you have alot to offer them. Maybe you should go to a local school and tell them exactly what you said in your post. Explain to them how precious life is and it angers you to see them wasting it. You can use what has happened to you in order to save others. I know some must die so that others can live. Its your choice to do what you can now. You are not alone. rufus.inc@cablespeed.com
 
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