I too have had trouble with my son and I too know what that mother is feeling. My son was 15 years old when we (his dad and I) caught on to what was going on. During his growing up years he had participated in nearly all sports, he had passed every grade and was in the Honor's band. His freshman year of high school was when everything went out of control for him and for us. While dealing with this horror, my husband lost his job and I was cut down to part-time work.
From what I read on one of the message boards, a mother said she didn't have anyone to help her. In the end our medical insurance company provided the catalyst. I urge her to contact her own insurance company or see if a friend could contact theirs and maybe a kind soul there can help.
The police could not help (after one violent episode the officer told my husband that this house was our son's too and he could destroy it if he wanted to). The doctors could not help (after my son came home staggering with red, glassy eyes and complaining of a splitting headache I took him to an Emergency Care and requested a full urine sample. I asked the doctor about those cold medicines and couldn't he take too many of those pills. She LAUGHED at me and said no one would do that...they'd have to take way too many. She gave him a prescription for a sinus infection. As we were checking out, my son put his arm around my shoulder and said, 'See mom, I told you I was okay.' I just broke down and started crying and told him I didn't care what the doctor said, I KNEW he was not 'okay'.).
As a mother, you feel like a failure. You didn't see the signs. You didn't protect your child. You didn't spend enough time with him. You didn't, You didn't You didn't. The guilt is almost overwhelming and after it's over there's a sadness at all that was lost and at the price your son will have to pay for years on down the road brought on by that time of rebellion and addiction.
I urge you mothers to stay strong as your child battles with his demons. He's the one that started it and he's got to be the one to end it. We told our son if he wanted to live on the streets that was his choice and by choosing drugs that was the ultimate choice he was making. We told him that when he turned 18, that if he was not in school we were kicking him out of the house. On his 18th birthday he moved out. And this is the hard part....mom, let him go. Do not bail him out of jail. Do not take him back into your house without him taking a drug test. Do not let him manipulate you. Let him draw from the well of your resolve.
Today, our son is back home. He got his GED, took college classes this summer and he's in college now taking 12 college credit hours. He's working a full-time job and also working towards a future. He's also seeing a lot of his old 'friends' pictures in the obituary section of the paper and others going to jail.
In closing mom and dad, I urge you to attend a church and draw closer to God during this horrible time. God will give you the strength, the hope you so desperately need. In the end you will read the poem, 'Footprints in the Sand' with a grateful heart.
From one who's been there...
(Original Air Date: 12/01/05) Imagine finding your son passed out in his room with drug paraphernalia surrounding his body. When that happened to one mother, she made an important call for help. Dr. Phil’s son, Jay, was working with a family for his new reality show when the mom, Vikki, phoned to say that her son, Justin, had been lost to drugs. Dr. Phil made a surprise house call and insisted that the teen get help immediately. Find out what happens with Justin, and why Vikki thinks she's to blame for his drug use. Then, a stay-at-home mother of three was drinking bottles of wine and vodka every day -- she would even fill a sports drink bottle with alcohol and take it to her kids' school events. Did she break her deadly addiction? Join the discussion.
