Topic : 06/29 House Call Intervention

Hi.  I hope you see this.  And I'm sorry to hear about your situation. 

To be blunt, your parents need to step up to the plate and do their jobs.  I can imagine it's very difficult for your mom with ALS, but then she needs to enlist your dad pronto!  This is a self-destructing child, and it didn't happen overnight.   

While everyone's looking for her, you all need to be developing a plan for what will happen when she shows up.  Ideally, she would go directly to treatment.   You don't mention finances, and I don't know about insurance options, but you (or your parents) need to start calling human services in Charlotte, the county and even check the state.  You can also google this.  But it's best if your parents do this, because they are her legal guardian. 

If your parents can't find a rehab center, then they need to take her to a hospital when she shows up and have her committed for a mental evaluation.  This is nowhere near as ideal, but it's better than nothing.   

This will require some research and time, I realize.  But nobody is going to send you a magic e-mail with a quick fix in it! 

Also...I would strongly recommend that you and/or your parents get to an Al Anon (or Narc Anon) meeting asap!   There are several reasons for this, but in an emergency situation like yours, the  folks in those places are great sources of wisdom and advice.   

The one thing you must stress to your parents is that they should not negotiate with her on any of this.  I can practically script what she'll say (I promise not to do this again...I've learned my lesson....blah blah)  She needs professional help and she needs it yesterday.   

And even though she's been engaging in adult behaviors, she's a child and a very sick one. 

I do wish all of you good luck with this.   There are tons of success stories out there, but with a 14 year old, it starts with parents forcing the child into some kind of treatment.   

I've read some posts that sound bitter because Dr. P hasn't personally assisted you with your family members addiction.  Hey, he was able to help one kid - that's more than what most people are willing to do in their lifetime.   

So I say, learn from his example.  If you've got a drugger for a kid, don't dink around...get them in treatment.  You've been shown how to do it step by step...but if you wait for Dr. P to make a house call for you personally, your kid will keep using and eventually it will kill them - don't doubt that for a minute. 

Yah Dr. Phil - let pray that kid gets what he needs.   

     First, I want to thank Dr. Phil for the work that he does overall, and specifically for the intervention in his Dec. 1st show.  My youngest son died in Feb. 2005, laying across his bed.  One of his "friends" who found him was too scaried or ashamed to call 911.  No one was there to intervene or to save him.  He had died alone on his bed.   

     When he was younger, in Jr. High,  he had fooled around with "weed."  Neither the school officials or me and my first wife were able to come up with any hard evidence of any use.  Maybe we were not looking hard enough.  Later in High School, his mother did find lots of evidence and turned him in.  He went to Juvie Hall for a while and the experience seemed to have turned him around. 

     He continued his education and got progressively better and more responsible employment.  He had moved to a different nearby city and seemed to be doing exceedingly well.  He was a very popular fellow.  Unfortunately, he had drifted away from his mother and me.   

     It was only after his death that I found out that he had tried some stuff that was deadly.  He had to have known how risky it was.  I don't know what we could have done differently.   

     I cried several times watching that show.  I was thinking of how lucky that young fellow was to get such a timely intervention.  Another message reply on this message board said that it was no big deal; it was only a little weed.  Oh, how I wish that we could have intervened back when my son's problem was "just a little weed." 

     I miss my son so much.   

     navyman2