Topic : 03/31 Love Smart, Part 1

I cracked-up today listening to the show and found it very entertaining.  One buzz-word I learned was "serial dater".  My X whom I dated from online for 3+ years saw me every Monday and Friday night, played tennis Tuesday and Thursday nights, nd made that clear to me in the beginning.  I knew he was dating other women all along and he was a so-called serial dater.  Not to mention he was at his Mother's house the other 85% of the time.  I finally decided he was either gay, a mamma's boy or just disinterested which wasn't fair to me.  I was called "high-maintenance". 

Dating IS expensive as one guy said.  Well take my serial dater, ...he always used coupons.  When I first experiences this, on about our second or third date, I confronted him about it.  His story was "why shouldn't I get a value for my money?".  Then, after dating several months I tried to leave a tip.  He got angry and told me if I was gonna leave a tip, I could pay for the whole meal.  

Our first date was pretty good, we met in the hot tub (i.e., his bath tub, because he never showered for me and smelled nice).  He was always wanting to go to the jacuzzi. One time he started rubbing underneath his arms and I was tempted to bring a bar of soap from then on to our excursions to the "Hot Tub".  His idea of cologne was none other than dollar store brand stuff if he wore any at all, never touching the wonderful stuff I bought him from my day spa (Aveda for men). 

I'm camouflaging my face here but it is really me.  I really put up with this for 3 years.  I did start to whine yes.  When?  At the point when I'd asked him whether or not he'd washed his hands after using the bathroom and he said "two-weeks ago." 

Sure, men want to be free, date whomever they please, and the internet is great for this.  But I prefer a man.  Someone who is decent enough to carry himself and as Dr. Phil asked, and I believe this is true:  What as a man makes you a success?  Good Question Dr. Phil and I don't regard it as blunt.  You can tell a lot about someone from an answer to a question like that. 

My next man will care about his health, his well-being, and not be so shallow and money conscious.  Sure, money is important but think of this:  Do you have health insurance, life insurance and a clear credit report?  THAT is more important than being cheap, serial dating with coupons and it's putting your mouth where the money is. 

Doctor Phil. Speak for your self. Do you remember that Jay already have a girlfriend? I know already 

and little to late. But I know that you have a new book that is coming soon to a local book store near 

me.  I know the name of your book is: "Love Smart" By you. (Doctor Phil.) I hope that the people will 

read itf and become in love alover again. See you tomorrow. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen,-- 

One thing I know is that I need to really prepare myself for entering the dating realm.  I have to learn how to plan .... I want to say no when I want to say no, I want to know that the rules are now.  I'm 53 years old and haven't dated since 1980.  Hmmm boy do I have a lot to learn here. 

One of my friends has already ordered the book from the library - she's the 1st one to read that I know of.   

Funny thing is, I'm the only one of my friends not looking for men -- however, I have been picked up 3-4 times at the grocery store.  Yep, that's right.  I'm wondering what Dr. Phil says about that being a pick-up place. 

I don't think I'm interested in speed dating or online dating services -- however, I'm going to do different so I guess that means I'm leaving myself open for this.  I figure I have plenty of time to prepare myself for the "big 1st time date" -- hell, it's been 25 years since I've dated and that scares the hell out of me.  I really never thought about it until just now. 

Are you from Indianapolis?  If so, it's posible that we went out with the same guys.  Basic manners are forgotten...even my oldest son has been appalled at some of the things I have had to endure dating.  I have tried to instill the word "gentleman" in my son's vocabulary, as it seems to be an ancient notion.  I am still hopeful that one day that I will meet Mr. Right, instead of Mr. Let's Get It On. 

I just brought the book at midday (aussietime) today.  Im hopeful that this book will be the turning point in my life.   

I have met many men and the ones I like don't like me and the ones that like me I don't like them.  Go Figure!! 

I met a man recently that I thought was husband material....but my issue was his enormous weight.  Im not a skinny lady roughly 180 pounds.  Im sorry Im from australia this is an estimation of pounds.  I couldnt get past his enormous weight and the fact it was that bad it was a health issue.  But then I found out he liked to go drinking with his mates.  Drinking bourbon and coke till 7am in the morning!!!!!  Woah light bulb went off!!!!  And I thought NO WAY....Im not getting involved with a drinker.  

I also can't help thinking my weight has kept others that I like away.  But being ill there is not much I can do about that at the moment.  

I have had 4 boyfriends all 5 yrs apart and all weren't overly concerned with my weight in fact the last one loved my awful butt.   My butt has major cellulite something that is genetic from my mother.  I did gymnastics for 14 yrs and even then once I was a teenager I had cellulite.  But my last boyfriend/partner loved it!!  I thought he was either blind or mentally challenged.   

But in todays skinny driven society Im up against what society says is beautiful.  Its time men realised that the female of the species comes in all shapes and sizes.  Some tall, skinny and other short and skinny..  Tall and voluptous, and short and voluptous.  Voluptous means to me more than just size 12, infact size 14-18 is voluptous to me.   I know the sizing in Australia is different from the US.  Sorry.   

I hope this book gives me some help.  In my life I havent been on many dates.  Im not sure.  My main goal at the moment is if I see a man I like in a store or at a sporting event or a park to smile at them.  Its my first baby step.....I might move on to saying hi later.  

I'll keep in touch as I read the book. 

Take Care 

Blessed Be 

Emuposs.  

ps...emuposs.  is an almagamation of  the animals Emu and Possum.  

ugly, old, disabled does nmot sell!!!!! 

i got married for the wrong reason.... he raped me and i felt soiled. but dammit, i did my best and love to bits the 3 kids i had.... i had my day of youth and good looks.... yes was a tad disabled but never gave that a secod thought.... but then.... he decides to go ..... ok, take your freedom..... but he did not have to leave me homeless, sick, etc having vowed to take it all, kids included and without a pension.... 

it was tough, i nearly died from the fall: from riches to extreme poverty, from a very good career to being a bag lady....... and how are kids to stay normal seing how easy it is for a man to ditch their mother like that dog you kick on the farm -and get away with it............ now that's the miracle. 

YOU PROMISED not to leave out some areas in society but i must admit the bold, the young and the healthy beautiful are often on the stage........ 

mother teresa was ugly to the eye........ but in the end dr. phil..... what is in reality beautiful? 

show america... the disabled, the homeless, the poor, the disfigured (i loved Robin's sister btw) are also as potentially deserving of a happy life!!!!!!