Topic : 03/31 Love Smart, Part 1

>For one thing, they haven't spent a lifetime being miserable and developing a very hostile attitude towards men (yet).  

That's red flag #1 - your assumption that older women have developed a very hostile attitude toward men & that women as they age are at risk of such. 

>They are still curious enough about sex to be interested.  

Red flag #2 - the stereotype that older women are not interested in sex. 

>They still know how to have fun,  

Red flag #3 - Your assumption that older women don't know how to have fun. 

 >they whine less 

Red flag #4 - Your assumption that older women whine more.  Incidentally, "whining" is a pejorative assumption made by the listener.  If a guy often makes pejorative assumptions, that's another red flag about him.   

,>are less judgemental, 

and don't spend as much time looking for faults. In short, they are willing to give a guy at least half a chance. 

Red flag #5 - More pejorative assumptions about older women.  Older individuals, men & women, are more likely to know what their deal breakers are from experience.  I know a 64 year-old widower who now makes smoking & excessive drinking deal-breakers.  (His wife died due to her bad habits.)  I know an 48 year-old divorced guy who says he now knows chemistry is not enough for a relationship, & now requires good communication for a relationship to proceed.  Both these men are more aware of what they want & their former wives never would have made it to the second date.  I know older women who have learned lessons along those lines, as well.  But you're framing this perjoratively. 

I don't know how old you are & exactly what you mean by "older".  I'm in my 40s.  But I would never date a guy who had so many negative assumptions about my demographic.  If you would like women to give you at least half a chance, then I suggest YOU be less judgemental & don't spend as much time looking for the faults of women in a certain demographic. 

Ok, this is just a quick note to cover lots of messages.  I agree with both sides of the issue here on age.  Prettty women do sell advertising dollars, and it would be interesting to see Phil take on some older or less pretty women, and some men.  I am almost 40 and still single.  Always been the best friend, or the third wheel.  But in the end, I think its all in God's timing so I try not to worry about it too much.  Then again, I also would feel a little strange jumping right to such straightforward questions as were on the show today, although they did say they only had 3 minutes.  I'm not sure how that works, I'm a little out of the "popular" loop.  Most men want eye candy, and women want money & eye candy, but I would rather wake up next to a less attractive woman and happy than next to a model and miserable. 

PS.  I've watched alot of people over the years, and here's some advice: I know if you get someone in the bar to leave their significant other for you, you'll feel special, but don't be too shocked when they leave you for someone else in the bar. 

I have watched the Dr. Phil show many times, but none ever moved me to come to the website as this one.  Here is the saga of my social life. I am  black, single mother of two beautiful kids. After  10 year relationship, I am looking for what I term the man that is "perfect for me". I have tried internet dating, and have met  some men, but  so often there is this impasse. I am currently pursuing my Phd and after evaluating myself, I realize that there are a few things that are critical to me: breadth and depth of knowledge which mostly comes with being educated, and a sense of self, that is someone who has done some deep thinking and has found his life's purpose.  I find that these qualities in one package is a rarity within the African American community. So many of the opposite sex tell me that I am great, wonderful, outgoing, fun , and funny, but then are intimidated by my academic achievement and future aspirations. I have heard similar stories from female friends.So, I am wondering is Mr."perfect for me " out there????