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Topic : 12/07 Love Smart, Part 2

Number of Replies: 142
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Created on : Friday, December 02, 2005, 03:47:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

The lights are low, the champagne is flowing and Dr. Phil's singles party continues, teaching women how to weed out the bad boys and find Mr. Right. Four women who say they can't be themselves when they're around guys are taped as they candidly speak about dating and what they're looking for in a mate. What they don't know is that they are actually being watched by men whom they will later meet. Find out what the men think about these ladies! Next, one of the women gets a special makeover from Robin, and a pep talk from Dr. Phil. Will she be able to earn herself a second date when she's armed with a secret weapon? Then, Dr. Phil sends single women to "target-rich" environments. Some are armed with tips for meeting men, while others have to survive on their own. Which group of women will meet men and even get phone numbers? Plus, test your knowledge and see how well you know men. If you're ready to be a bride instead of a bridesmaid, you don't want to miss Dr. Phil's advice! Join the discussion.


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December 5, 2005, 5:07 pm CST

Whatever

Dating is a learning process just like everything else. You have to fall so you can learn to pick yourself up and not put yourself in the position to fall again. I can't believe this topic consumes so many women's lives and energy. It's not the end of the world if you don't have a boyfriend...unless you're in high school!
 
December 6, 2005, 5:17 pm CST

Love Smart Is Living Exquisitly

 I'd love to have a date but it isn't my life nor does it occcupy every waking thought of my mind, it didn't in High School either.  Now love, that's what I most hope to find, the real two way street I've seen.  It would enhance me and my life.  I live my life grateful and happily as I go.  I keep my eyes open for opportunities to love while I live my life.  There are so many pictures of what love looks like.  I don't live my life to find someone to fix it or me.  I'm glad to be who I am and where I am at in my life and that I've waited until now to be ready to make room in my life for someone special, a mate/partner/best friend.  Should love come nobody would be happier for me than my self and my 2 best friends, should it elude me it wouldn't change a thing. 

  I've lived and loved, loved and lost and learned it's the greatest challenge to learn to really live.  I've loved and found the wonders in this life I can only express have humbly  fulfilled me beyond any possible expectation I ever dreamt.  I'm grateful to have had the love I've known, and the loss that goes with it.  Now I'm ready for a new challenge and hopeful to learn more about loving smart to weed thru the possibilities quicker while I keep moving forward.  

 
December 7, 2005, 5:46 am CST

I love your attitude

Quote From: amazonsole

 I'd love to have a date but it isn't my life nor does it occcupy every waking thought of my mind, it didn't in High School either.  Now love, that's what I most hope to find, the real two way street I've seen.  It would enhance me and my life.  I live my life grateful and happily as I go.  I keep my eyes open for opportunities to love while I live my life.  There are so many pictures of what love looks like.  I don't live my life to find someone to fix it or me.  I'm glad to be who I am and where I am at in my life and that I've waited until now to be ready to make room in my life for someone special, a mate/partner/best friend.  Should love come nobody would be happier for me than my self and my 2 best friends, should it elude me it wouldn't change a thing. 

  I've lived and loved, loved and lost and learned it's the greatest challenge to learn to really live.  I've loved and found the wonders in this life I can only express have humbly  fulfilled me beyond any possible expectation I ever dreamt.  I'm grateful to have had the love I've known, and the loss that goes with it.  Now I'm ready for a new challenge and hopeful to learn more about loving smart to weed thru the possibilities quicker while I keep moving forward.  

I think you are far more likely to find true love than the other people on the board that have a chip on their shoulder about there age and weight.  I was 33 when I got married and I'll admit I spent most of my twenties on a "man hunt".  But I finally said the heck with it, I need to enjoy the life I have right now.  I am, what we call down south, a "big girl"  but I didn't hide in the closet like a hunch back.  I went out and had fun I was surprised as anybody when i finally did meet the man I would marry.
 
December 7, 2005, 5:49 am CST

You decide first

Now knowing that I've remained single through the years and choices and have arrived at a hopeful place in my life because there is someone there for me because many years ago I defined the criteria that I determined would allow me to have the relationship I want and expect to make the most of and keep working on through it all. College Sociology class gave me some insight. Your mate is likely living within walking distance of you, 1.58 miles or so. The more you have in common the easier it is for you to relate to each other; age group, socio economic status, culture which you experienced growing up etc. I was VERY big on a formal introduction only .I felt that was the ticket to all the formalities of a wedding day being treated properly and the kind thought that if it didn't work out " the dumped "would still have a friend to turn to. It was the formalities that nixed the relationship (the church said no). The original criteria have worked. I remember the feeling that all of these men who have shown interest in me one of these is the one. Which one? For me it was "In the normal course of my life I will find the right person for me" I wouldn't go out of my way or subscribe to anyone's game playing theories or strategies. Remembering the truth that no one is perfect picturing the t-shirt of a skeleton in a head scarf seated at a bench "Waiting for Mr. Right" I am 47.
 
December 7, 2005, 7:26 am CST

im freaking out!

 i know this sounds stupid. but i am so excited because i have the leapard shirt that the wallflower girl is wearing!!!!!!!!!!!! in case anyone else likes it. it is Bisou Bisou and you can get it at Jc Penny for $38
 
December 7, 2005, 7:27 am CST

Everbody's Sister

I think these two shows are depressing.  I tell myself I know better but is so much of this really wrapped up in appearance?  I don't want to highlight my hair (it's clean, it's brushed, it's brown.  Get over it), makeup is uncomfortable and does horrible things to my skin, and I don't want to be squirming in "sexy" but uncomfortable clothing on every damned date.  I would forgive him if he were in an old T-shirt and five o'clock shadow--why pass up a good guy just because he wasn't spit-shined the first time out?--but apparently he can't forgive me.  I've been single for years, though, so I guess they get the last laugh. 

  

I'm a nice person, I'm neither a wimp nor a man-eater, I'm smart, I have a good sense of humor, I'm fairly well-educated but not a show-off, I don't freak out if plans fall through, I grant second chances as long as he's not a complete jerk, I don't try to monopolize him or run his life, I'm not high-maintenance (maybe I'm not high-maintenance enough?), I won't drag him to the mall or to chick flicks, I don't play mind games, etc. etc. so what is wrong with me?  I actually get along just fine with men.  I don't think I know anybody else who knows as many really, genuinely, nice guys as I do and yet inspires so little interest.  I'm like everybody's sister. 

  

My best friend tells me I'm too androgynous (in personality).  I just don't have the "flirt gene" or whatever it is that lets women make themselves alluring to men.  I've tried dressing up and being more "girlish" but I can't keep it up and I feel like a total fraud.  I've learned that they're not going to think of me as a woman, anyway, so if I'm "one of the boys" at least I can be a friend. 

  

Dr. Phil would tell me I have way too much baggage and am cold, but what do you expect?  Boys told me I was ugly when I was a  teenager and have ignored me ever since, so if being liked and respected by them as a person now (I'm in my late 20's) isn't good enough, I don't know what else to do.  I never had the chance to learn how to do this.  My mother tells me I look and I just need to go out more, but a) she's my mother, and b) doesn't it follow to reason that if nobody is ever attracted to me, I must not be attractive?  I had a boyfriend for a very short time in college and that was it (I haven't seen The 40-Year-Old Virgin because I figure I'm well on my way to living it for myself, ha ha). 

  

I don't need a boyfriend.  I don't want somebody who will only introduce himself if I have blonde streaks and mascara.  I'm talented, I have plenty of interests of my own, I have friends and extended family who love me, but, damn it, I'm lonely.  I can't even tell any more if I'm allowed to be lonely or not--half the time I hear that I should be OK with myself at to Hell with boyfriends and half the time I hear that humans are social and need emotional connection, etc. etc.  What's the story?  I am so tired of being jealous of married friends--I've cut female friends off when they started families because I couldn't handle it and was afraid I couldn't be civil to them, and that just makes me sick. 

  

Sorry about the huge, whiny post.  I hate myself for being so insecure about something that shouldn't be so important to me.  I'm not insecure about very many things but this is HUGE, stupid issue for me. 

 
December 7, 2005, 8:24 am CST

Dating Online

I've been out of the daing loop for quite some time. I know a lot of beautiful women who are consumed with on-line dating, or "networking" as they prefer to call it.  

  

Dr. Phil, could you do a show for women and give them your two cents about on-line dating. I've seen so many of my friends (some married, some not) play russian rullet with this phenomenon. I don't feel it's healthy for them or in their best interest.  

 
December 7, 2005, 8:43 am CST

I liked this episode

I enjoyed this episode more than any others.  

  

I tried Internet dating a few years ago, but men I've met this way are.....well for lack of a better word...too horny. The few men who I did date were expecting sex on the first date, after buying me dinner. And what is even more perplexing is that they get it...from other girls. Dating is soo disappointing. From what I have seen and learned about life, marriage and dating...the good men are snapped up quick.  

  

I think that there are some really desperate people in this country and it's very sad. I tend to have a lot of male friends, of all ages and ethnicities. I wish I had even more of them. Men are good to have around, they are less complicated than women. (I know this because I am a woman).  

  

  

 
December 7, 2005, 8:47 am CST

Cannot Wait

I can't wait to watch the 2nd episode.  

  

The Dr. Phil show is getting better. I like it almost as much as Desperate Housewives. 

 
December 7, 2005, 9:30 am CST

I watched the show yesterday...

and picked up a few pointers, mostly about being so nervous that I tend to rattle on and on.  I'll work on being relaxed and not sooo intense and also work on listening.  The type of questions to ask were helpful too.  I need to ask what I want to know instead of hoping the guy can read my mind.  I am 51, single and hadn't started looking until recently.  There's not much to choose from in my town.  I started working in a casino in March, I thought there would be many chances to meet guys.  NOT!  I've met someone, he seems very nice, it's been dragging on for awhile.  I don't know what he wants or is looking for but now I have some tools to work with and I will know very soon so I can move on if I have to.  I'm looking forward to it actually.  Thanks Doc!          
 
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