Topic : 12/07 Love Smart, Part 2

It will all work out for u I was 28 when I meet my wife and son.  before we got married, after work I would take the time to just brush her hair, and massage  her feet.  We do things to help each other out.  We still are love one anoughter after 14 years, and our son is in high School and living with his real dad,  and when he calls the house and talks to me he still calls me dad and we have that father son bond.  We are so blessed  

but I just wanted to let you all know that when you least expect it the person will walk though that door and you will just know like I did that is the one you want to spend the rest of you life with,  we also have a doughter that is 7years old,,,bless yall 

here is alittle from the male side of things ladies,  I have be asked out by ladies 3 times and all three dates were great,  I can not speek for all men but I think men like to know that they can turn some heads  also.  just watch out for the ones that it goes to there head( you know the ones).  Yall are good at looking through the glass and mirrors. 

The two episodes of this topic have been both fun and informative to watch.But what about us men folk with a rather simular situation? I am a 50 year old divorced male divorced for almost 22 years and no kids.I've been on so many disasterous dates I could write a book.One lady spent the entire date interveiwing me as a prospective father to her unborn child,I've met comitophobics,neurotics,ladies in a hurry to have a child,too selfcentered or judgemental or simply misrepresented themselves in singles magazines.The last one totally fleeced me when I tried to help her get back on her feet after a nasty divorce.My buddy successfuly found a good wife using a singles magazine before internet dating was concieved.Now at my age I think getting a root canal is a more positive experience than dating at middle age.My counselor tells me that I'm following the same pattern but what that is and why I simply don't understand. 

To complicate matters I am disabled and was forced to retire,I own my own home free and clear but I have a limited income.I consider myself functionally disabled meaning there are a lot of things I simply can't do anymore but yet a number of things I can still do.I suffer from chronic pain,some days are good and others can be really bad.I can still play a musical instrument,walk,camp and go to movies and concerts but I have been out of the loop for a while.I have female freinds,but they are just that,freinds,some married or in relationships,another in a nasty divorce or casual freinds that I don't prefer to date and vise versa. It is a rather awkward feeling when all the folks that I grew up with now have kids and grandkids of their own.Even my former wife e mailed me a year ago for the first time and told me she has a teen aged daughter.I felt a bit cheated because that could have been our child had our marriage not been so rocky. 

I think my fear is that my disability will complicate any relationships that I may pursure.I'm not looking for a wife,just an attractive,easygoing companion and freind.I don't like going to bars since I don't smoke or drink,I also dislike going to church because I'm very soured on organised religion.I was raised in a Catholic family originally.I'm a handsome guy and I can still turn a few of the ladies heads but I'm also overwieght due to my medication and medical condition.Besides reading Dr Phil's new Love Smart book are there any constructive critisims or suggetions.I am perfectly happy with myself and have lived alone for a long time,stay busy and enjoy my own company 

I thought the shows were very well done and I will be buying Dr. Phil's book. I have been a widow for 18 years and have had several very long term relationships through the years. I never married. Retrospectively the men were wrong for me. I am very happy with myself but would also like to get married I think. I do question whether I want to be with someone (the right one) all of the time or if I would be happier by myself. Decisions, decisions.  

The clothing the women wore were much too revealing. Why show everything you have? Leave something to the imagination, ladies. Robin looked fabulous, sexy, and classy. Good for you,  

Robin! 

Looking forward the reading the book! 

Wait a minute--where are all these men?  Outside of the dreaded bar scene it seems like everywhere I go there are zillions more WOMEN, or slightly older men who are there with women.  I don't even have especially "girly" habits; it's not like I'm trying to meet people at the quilting bee. 

Where the heck do you go to find promising 20/30-something men if you're no longer in school and have zero interest in casual sex? 

I know enough single women who, seriously, are not going to write you off on the basis of looks, height, or, within reason, wallet (that is, you don't have to be rich, just responsible).   

"I can't tell you how many women my age opt for take out instead of cooking a meal.  That's because they admit they can't cook.  Men are tired of going to Denny's.  Cook for us.  Clean for us.  We're too tired.  Be the old-fashioned girl we wanted in the first place and you'll find youself  A LOT happier in the end." 

Most of us work full-time just like you do and are just as tired (and if you want us to stay home and wait on you, don't complain that women just want men with money--that's pretty much what it takes to allow us to do that).  Take some initiative and split the work, and, not only will we be happier, we'll be much more inclined to make YOU happier.  We're not your maids. 

I don't even mind cooking and doing housework, and I wouldn't mind staying home if I were married, but most couples these days can't afford that and there's no reason a woman who works full-time, just as her husband does, should have to come home and do all the chores as well.  Not very romantic. 

I am happily married now but did go through the whole dating scene and here is some advice that I can give now.  I too was a little shy around the opposite sex but very outgoing in general.  Here goes...You don't have to be the one to speak first....just be yourself around everyone in the room, store, situation...etc...If a guy is there who is interested in you he will begin listening to your conversation with another and if he is interested he will jump in....this way you aren't putting yourself out there and you are giving him some material to start a conversation with.  This way nobody feels awkward,