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Topic : 12/07 Love Smart, Part 2

Number of Replies: 142

New Messages This Week: 0

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Created on : Friday, December 02, 2005, 03:47:41 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

The lights are low, the champagne is flowing and Dr. Phil's singles party continues, teaching women how to weed out the bad boys and find Mr. Right. Four women who say they can't be themselves when they're around guys are taped as they candidly speak about dating and what they're looking for in a mate. What they don't know is that they are actually being watched by men whom they will later meet. Find out what the men think about these ladies! Next, one of the women gets a special makeover from Robin, and a pep talk from Dr. Phil. Will she be able to earn herself a second date when she's armed with a secret weapon? Then, Dr. Phil sends single women to "target-rich" environments. Some are armed with tips for meeting men, while others have to survive on their own. Which group of women will meet men and even get phone numbers? Plus, test your knowledge and see how well you know men. If you're ready to be a bride instead of a bridesmaid, you don't want to miss Dr. Phil's advice! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More December 2005 Show Boards.

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bozoclown

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surprised

December 8, 2005, 11:03 am PST

Sex Isn't the Only Thing?

Again I disagree with Dr. Phil or any survey he' s done from the male species.

Bottom line is when a guy takes a girl out, he's only going to spend a certain amount of money and time on her before he finds out about sex with her. But in his mind (notice I didn't say "back of his mind" ) this is his main goal!

You guys can say all you want, but you know this is the most vital point on your date! Will you score or not?!

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juliebgg

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December 8, 2005, 11:06 am PST

Well-said, kleeson!

Quote From: kleesun

"I can't tell you how many women my age opt for take out instead of cooking a meal. That's because they admit they can't cook. Men are tired of going to Denny's. Cook for us. Clean for us. We're too tired. Be the old-fashioned girl we wanted in the first place and you'll find youself A LOT happier in the end."

Most of us work full-time just like you do and are just as tired (and if you want us to stay home and wait on you, don't complain that women just want men with money--that's pretty much what it takes to allow us to do that). Take some initiative and split the work, and, not only will we be happier, we'll be much more inclined to make YOU happier. We're not your maids.

I don't even mind cooking and doing housework, and I wouldn't mind staying home if I were married, but most couples these days can't afford that and there's no reason a woman who works full-time, just as her husband does, should have to come home and do all the chores as well. Not very romantic.

Well said, Kleeson!!!!! I can't imagine what sort of woman would go for the creep that wrote that original quote. There is nothing in the relationship for the woman. Just endless cleaning, and cooking without a break because he is too selfish to take her out to eat. And HE is tired so after both work all day, SHE has to clean the house (after the dishes are done by HER of course!!) He just wants a glorified servant that looks her very best 24/7!!!

I suggested in an earlier post that if he doesn't like Denny's how bout treating a lady to a nice dinner at an upscale restaurant. Not in his repertoire I bet!!! It's all about self, self self!! He will find himself alone, because he is unable to give in the slightest.

BTW I don't mind the cleaning and cooking etc. because my husband both work and he does help out, and nobody expectes perfection,and yes, we DO go out to eat!!!!!

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juliebgg

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December 8, 2005, 11:36 am PST

She's no bargain!!

Quote From: cashmere

I have known quite a few gorgeous women who didn't easily get dates from men they were interested in. One girl I used to go out with attracted every man in sight. She was gorgeous! Every guy at our office fell in love with her. I took the time to get to know her and I realized that she was meeting the same types of men I met (drunks, losers, players, jerks, much older men, users, etc.). The ONLY difference was she met many more men than I did. She did not meet a lot of quality men just because she was GORGEOUS! She had two failed marriages. First husband was a drunk. Second husband fell in love with someone else. When I became friends with her she was dating a married man. For 8 years she waited for him to leave his wife. He never did. But I can guarantee you that plenty of women were jealous of her. I realized there was nothing to be jealous of. So, we all need help in meeting someone.

Just the fact that she dated a married man for eight years shows what a flawed character she has. Maybe that had something to do with her failed relationships and not being able to meet a quality person. Does she also have a mile-wide sense of entitlement that the world owes her something because of her looks? Even the shallowest of men would probably get sick of that after a while.

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abcede

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December 8, 2005, 12:55 pm PST

How about the older Singles???

The only single women I saw on the show were cute YOUNG things. I am not saying Dr. Phils methods could not work for the over 50 crowd, but I thought the audience was definitely not of MY peers!

Dating IS different from the rock climbing 20's to the retiring 50+'s. We may not be Miss Americas. Doing a makeover on a girl with perfect skin & teeth is a lot different than the pre seniors with wrinkles. I am widowed & have to do it all myself. Even though my son is grown, when I am not working, I have a home to take care of, cars to service, financial records to maintain, cooking, cleaning, etc. etc. etc. So when do you find time to date????

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marshaself

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Mellow

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December 8, 2005, 1:26 pm PST

Relationship? No thanks, I have enough kids to raise

I think there should be a show on women (or men) who remain single by choice and wouldn't want a relationship if it were offered up on a silver platter. I have been married twice and have been in a long term relationship as well. I've been on my own now for many years and wouldn't change it for the world.

Men want constant care and feeding. You have to stroke their ego, provide physical comfort, and put yourself second. I do that for my kids, gladly, in the sure and certain knowledge that one day they will grow up and leave. Men, on the other hand, do not grow up. I enjoy having time for me. I work and earn my own money and I do not have to explain to anyone why I've made a certain purchase. I attend events and go on holiday without having to check how this affects someone else's plans or schedule. I love my life!

Whenever I see or hear of a woman who feels incomplete without a man, I want to shake some sense into her. I read somewhere that insurance statistics have shown that married men live longer than single men, while married women die sooner than single women. Makes sense to me. Married women spend all their time making sure HE's looked after, while single women put themselves first.

If all women followed their own dreams and didn't let men get in their way, this would be a much better world.

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lauren26

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December 8, 2005, 2:02 pm PST

12/07 Love Smart, Part 2

Quote From: ugokat

Oh goodness... relax a little sounds like you too have man issues I'm sure it's the same either sex... and NEVER was it suggested that women were the only ones that make mistakes???

I don't have man issues at all! I just feel the show only focused on women's weaknesses! Why didn't they have a group of men being picked apart by women?? Don't you think it would have made for a more impartial, unbias show??

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jeanniej70

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December 8, 2005, 2:43 pm PST

12/07 Love Smart, Part 2

Quote From: lauren26

I don't have man issues at all! I just feel the show only focused on women's weaknesses! Why didn't they have a group of men being picked apart by women?? Don't you think it would have made for a more impartial, unbias show??

I agree 100%....

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msdebbie

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December 8, 2005, 3:09 pm PST

12/07 Love Smart, Part 2

Quote From: divableu21

This is for all of you who said that Dr. Phil missed large chunks of the population...Remember, he does the shows that people ask for. If you want dating advice for older people, don't groan about it in the message boards, write the show's producers. If they knew that so many older people (or single parents, etc etc whatever your particular situation is) wanted advice, then I'm sure that they would do a show. Also, if you are so pessimistic about everything, then you'll never find whoever it is you are supposed to meet. Some of you have said so much about not needing a man or woman, but then you get all negative sounding, so it does sound like you are looking for Mr/s Right. Chill out a bit, and they will come. Be yourself, be friendly with the cashier in the grocery checkout, be nice to your waiter or waitress, and most of all SMILE--you never know who's watching. If you walk around with a stanky-funky look on your face, then no one will approach you. I was never the most outgoing person, and neither was my boyfriend, but we just drifted together, watching each other smile. The conversation was always genuine. Of course, I have enough past baggage to fill the cargo hold of a 747, but that didn't come up until later when we'd gotten to know each other pretty well and had begun dating exclusively. Don't bring up your past until you are comfy with each other. Things will come out in their own time. Don't try to force your date to be your spouse. Dating is just that--dating!! Have fun with it, yes some dates will go wrong, but use those bad dates as learning experiences. If you're in a rural place (been there did that, so I understand!! I lived in a town with ONE stoplight for a while), take some weekend jaunts with your friends to a bigger town to see sights and chat up some people. Some say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result, so do something different. Even taking your kids can give the opportunity to meet some other single parents. Kids aren't always a deal breaker. My mom was single (divorced) for 9 years, and when she took my brother and I to her friend's bbq one summer, she met my super-great stepfather who was also a single dad. They've now been happily married for 5 years (and she was 49 when they met, and he was in his later 50s, so it is possible). Also, get out and do some things you enjoy. When you do what makes you happy, it radiates from the inside out, and others can sense that. When you are happy and lovin' and livin' life on your own terms people are more likely to approach you and find out what you are so happy about. So chill out, be happy that you still have life in you, and things will fall into place.

I did write the show producers, last night. I do agree that the show was great but not nessarily for the population over 50, especially for those widowed. There is alot of bad feelings between those widowed and those divorced as those divorced think the issues are the same and those widowed think the divorcees have no clue. But the basic issue of returning to the dating scene is the same, whether your are in that position by choice or by no choice. We are older adults. We don't have the "barbie" figures but often times, we have our self-esteem in tack, meaning we are comfortable in our own skins. The problem being, we haven't dated in XX number of years. Friends and family are so helpful that they point out all the single men and some will even go as far as setting up the date. The problem there is generally, both parties don't know how to act. We don't remember those nice questions to ask to get to know the other person and often end up saying the wrong thing which becomes a turn off for the other person. I know, I've made my share of mistakes and recognized it when it happened. What I'm asking from Dr Phil is to address the older generation who want to risk a new relationship. We have already been thru the raising of our families and now looking forward to share the rest of our "golden years" with the "right" person. We don't exactly want to grow old, alone.

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divableu21

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December 8, 2005, 4:24 pm PST

I understand

Quote From: msdebbie

I did write the show producers, last night. I do agree that the show was great but not nessarily for the population over 50, especially for those widowed. There is alot of bad feelings between those widowed and those divorced as those divorced think the issues are the same and those widowed think the divorcees have no clue. But the basic issue of returning to the dating scene is the same, whether your are in that position by choice or by no choice. We are older adults. We don't have the "barbie" figures but often times, we have our self-esteem in tack, meaning we are comfortable in our own skins. The problem being, we haven't dated in XX number of years. Friends and family are so helpful that they point out all the single men and some will even go as far as setting up the date. The problem there is generally, both parties don't know how to act. We don't remember those nice questions to ask to get to know the other person and often end up saying the wrong thing which becomes a turn off for the other person. I know, I've made my share of mistakes and recognized it when it happened. What I'm asking from Dr Phil is to address the older generation who want to risk a new relationship. We have already been thru the raising of our families and now looking forward to share the rest of our "golden years" with the "right" person. We don't exactly want to grow old, alone.

I understand your point, and I'm glad you wrote the producers as well. I wish more people would do that. About the barbie figures..hey I'm in my mid twenties, and the closest thing I have to a barbie figure are some barbie dolls at my mom's house lol. I doubt anyone wants to grow old alone. It's a shame that people point out singles to you, but I get the same type of thing. I always get asked "Why aren't you married, why don't you have kids yet", and it makes me furious. But I try to brush it off as people looking out for my best interest *grimacing as I type that*. Anyways, I know it's hard to remember what to say and how to say it, but just make sure you say something :-)! What you think is a turn off may be very endearing to the other person. Smiling goes a long way too. I wish more people were like you who have held on to their self-esteem and are comfortable with themselves. So many people my age and older have no idea what it is to be comfortable with themselves, and that is reflected in the horrendous relationships we sometimes find ourselves in. With the type of attitude you have, I'm sure you'll meet that right one! It was so hard to watch my mom struggle with her self-worth after the divorce with my dad. She met so many men that were turned off by her ugly disposition, it wasn't the words she was saying, but the way she carried herself. She had convinced herself that she wouldn't find another mr. right, that any man who showed interest in her, she would immediately find some fault with. However, it wasn't the men who had the issues, it was her. When she decided to pull herself up by the bootstraps, and get her attitude right, she met my stepdad. People really should take some introspective time before trying to find that right one. When you see what you need to change about yourself, rather than see what needs to change in those around you, things may just fall into place. Again, congrats on knowing yourself and refusing to settle for something that's not right for you. More people should try it. When you settle for less than, you make yourself less than. Keep smiling!!

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myirisheye

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Happy

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December 8, 2005, 6:01 pm PST

Super Model, not!

Quote From: dalgal23

My name is Dallas, and although I am married and really dont have barings in this dicussion I do want to comment on the "Super Model" that was on the show yesterday. I took offense to her comment about how she was blessed with being attractive....To me shes saying because shes thin and former miss this and miss that, that those types of people are the only ones who are attractive. I am not Miss Canada and a FAR cry from it, I defently am packing some extra baggage, but does that mean Im not blessed with Beauty?
Dallas

Hi Dallas, I appreciate you taking the time to write in your feedback on me, "super model". Super Model I am not, nor do I carry that persona. I am sorry if It came across that way. I feel that I do not put Super Model out in the universe. I am looking for my life partner... Nothing more than that!

I'm sorry you took offense to my blessed comment. My life is blessed.. Not only for my apperance. I take deep pride in my career, my volunteer activities, and most of all my close knit family. I never said I was blessed becuase I was thin and former miss this and that. In fact the Ms. United States Continental Pageant focuses on Community Service and Volunteerism. All of which I focus on daily. I strive to give back as often as I can and am blessed to do often.

Additionally Dallas, I never said that these type of people are the only ones who are attractive. I'm sorry one simple statement could be so grossly misconstured. Beauty to me on the inside! Beauty to me is giving back. Beauty to me is sharing wonderful moments with family and friends. Beauty to me is sharing a language and culture with members of the Deaf community. It's also how I feel both inside and out!

You probably are blessed in your life too. We are all carring extra baggage... its how we deal with the baggage we have and embrace it.

So again, I thank you for your feedback.

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