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Topic : 12/08 Extreme Follow-up

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Created on : Friday, December 02, 2005, 03:49:46 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil checks back in with some of his most explosive guests from this season. Michelle's anger was so intense, her family lived in constant fear of her temper. She was screaming obscenities at her husband, Jamey, and yelling at her daughters until they were physically sick. Jamey said her anger was so bad, he frequently considered divorce. Was Michelle able to get her rage under control? Plus, Cathy and Micki were constantly feuding with their half-sister, Hollie, over painful memories of being molested by their stepfather, Hollie's dad. Hollie was stuck in the middle and wanted her sisters to forgive her father. Were they able to end the bitterness and start the healing process? Join the discussion.


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December 8, 2005, 7:33 am CST

been there, done that

Quote From: jenjen27

This is something she cannot totally control... I am there as well only I know what is going on and I know its wrong and I am doing something about it way before this show.  In fact before this show aired I just emailed Robin like a week ago after I found all this out that maybe some of these tempered women have chemical and hormone imbalance... it does this to us!!   

  

I do love my kids I have loved kids all my life babysat, taught classes etc... 

  

Here is my life picture...  As a Teen I got aggressive.. got mad easily and threw tempers.. not normal tempers... but ones that were hard to control.  If I didnt have a good upbrining who knows where Id be if I acted out on every temper the way I really wanted to?  But there was so much I could control, and so much I couldnt. 

  

I started smoking and that put a relief on that even though I didnt know it at the time it just happend so like this lady i just thought I got a handle on it when really it was just a cover up a mask of the problem..... At age 20 I started growing a few chin hairs etc... never gained much weight always skinny though. 

  

Well now I have quitted smoking in last 4 years and my temper has returned... ITS NOT AS CONTROLABLE as you all think... I could control parts of it but not all of it and when I did I still had that anger and fire in my head that I couldnt not express.  

  

I went to a hormone specialist.. they started me on progesterone... well that worked GREAT..... but after a couple months I slowly started back again... so they upped it and it worked again!!  but then again in a couplemonths same thing... so they had me take a salava test... it showed my progesterone was fine as well as my estrogen .. but my testosterone levels were doubled what they should be.  TOO HIGH... well I have tried to research about this and almost everything they have online is how to INCREASE testosterone levels.!!!! 

  

They gave me some supplements to help lower the testosterone... as Ijust got this news within the last week...and the supplements are not working yet... I seem to get worse and worse.... Most of the time you have high testosterone levels it means you could most likely have cyst on your ovaries.  So that will be checked with my appointment I already had scheduled in Mid Jan... but I will be calling doc today as I am getting worse now not better... 

  

But did you know a majority of women in prison who have done crimes have high testosterone levels?  Some people dont know its something that can be fixed... sure sometimes its some to do with how you react and how you control it... but you can only control so much... TRUST ME!!!  You can prevent yourself from going too far... but you cannot control ALL of it without some fix to what is chemically wrong.  REASON I mentioned smoking might have put a damper on it is because smoking lowers testosterone levels in men... so might have done that for me because as I was smoking I didnt have near the aggressiveness as I do now and before I started. 

  

I dont think you all should judge... you never been here... you never experienced this!!!  Its like I am Mr Hyde and Dr Jeckle and when I try and be Mr Hyde... Dr Jeckle is still in my head trying to get out!!  ITs not a pycho thing.... its a body chemical balance thing and they can be fixed!!   This woman has some chemical imbalance Dr Phil stated that on his show!  Now she just needs the medications to balance them out and I bet you anything it would be a total new person with her.  ITs not a lifetime thing, and hormones change as you get older as well... ALOT of menopausal women are on hormone supplements, and they make natural supplements of them now where they not only DONT cause cancer but they help PREVENT cancer. 

  

I know because somethings have worked for me even short term such as the progesterone... only reason it didnt keep working is because my levels are fine... that is mainly for estrogen dominance which has similar symptoms as the high testosterone... but my estrogen levels are fine... so raising and giving me more progesterone.. well in a couple months my estrogen is coming back to level out with it... so it came back.. 

  

Until you had some thing like this... I dont think you should judge, that is for God to do.  Just because you think your perfect and it looks as though she is such a terrible person... you have to see the inside.   

  

I believe many women has some sort of hormone imbalance or chemical imbalance that has some effect on their bodys and how they function... and its proven fact nowdays.  it effects losing weight, it effects hair growth and hair loss, it effects irratability, it effects moods, it effects aggressiveness, sleepiness, loss of muscle and bone mass, not able to sleep well, so many things and some symptoms are stronger than others. 

  

Be more open minded and do some research... you will see that this is something that is coming out strong and it will only get bigger as they figure out more.   

That's the problem........some people think(not you in particular) that just because they have a chemical/hormonal imbalance, they should be excused for their behavior.  Her children CANNOT  "see the inside" as you say.  All a child can see is what they are shown, then they have to deal with it.  Sometimes with drugs, withdrawl, poor grades, stunted social skills, aggressive behavior, promiscuity, or, my personal favorite, marrying someone who treats them the same way because that's what they are used to.   Yes, we should leave the judging to God, but if you want to go there(religion), God also gives us a brain and He expects us to do something with it.  We aren't supposed to just sit back and say,"Well that's just the way God made me.................and yes, I'll have some cheese with that....."  It IS good to be open minded, but be sure to catch yer brain if it slips out!    I've been there.  I've done that and then some.  Then I got help, 15 years later, I still haven't given up.  And I take my meds.  But medication CANNOT be expected to solve a problem alone; it's merely a tool to help your mind accept the new thoughts and self-talk we're feeding it.  I agree that many people have imbalances, and everybody seems to have some issue left over from childhood.  Profound?  Hardly.  Life isn't stud poker.  We're supposed to hold our ace and replace the bad cards!
 
December 8, 2005, 7:33 am CST

12/08 Extreme Follow-up

michelle, I hope you read this message. I am the mother of three daughters myself. They are 14, 8, and 1. They are a handful that is for sure. However, when I hear them laugh all my my anger i ever had disappears. They grow up so fast!!! There will be a time in your life that you will regret the time you spent being such an angry person and then it will be too late because your daughters will be grown!!! I hope and pray that you will someday be able to feel the joy of being the mother of daughters like I do. there is no way to describe the feeling of  my youngest daughters arms around my neck and I can feel the love she has for me and i can feel how safe she feels in my arms. Or talking with my middle daughter as i Crimped her hair this morning for school, or my oldest daughter telling me about the boy she likes at school. I try to soak all of these daily activities up because one day they will be running their own lives and i will have only the memories of those times and I will have no regrets. I hope  someday you will find that kind of peace. Hang in there and keep working hard and i have every confidence in you that you will one day be at peace with yourself and as a mother. And as for the negative things people are saying to you on the message boards forget it, no one is perfect we all have our problems, and i commend you for getting help.
 
December 8, 2005, 7:38 am CST

Please read-heart problem

Michelle, please, i know dr phil is helping you with doctors and health issues, please please, have a cardiologist listen to your heart for a heart mumur called mitral valve prolaple..some of the things you described made a light bulb go off for me...which is a condition which is a benign heart condition..but has a lot of underlying symptoms like "fight or flight" feeling..please dont dismiss checking this out...it is usually missed by physicians, they think it is a murmur and nothing else...but please consult a cardiologist re:  Mitral valve prolapse.  Good luck and i hope the best for you and your family...you have it in you to get better.   signed, Toni
 
December 8, 2005, 7:56 am CST

okay talked to the doctor...

I am going in today to talk to my gyn doctor.... 

  

Also called my compounding pharmacy... they totally agree with me... but anyways... they also have the chemical andrenaline test... which I will be taking... I never heard of that until Dr Phil... THANKS DR PHIL!!! 

  

But anyways all this stuff is just coming out...  ANYWAYS>.. compounding pharmacy also says that high adrenaline will also cause high testosterone levels.. which is why I will now check that out as that might be the problem raising my testosterone not a cyst as I get checked yearly and they would have found something I do believe, but I want to get it ALL looked at not miss a thing and get this fixed. 

  

You have to understand... if you have this even as a child you seem to think its you.  If your parents and such do not raise you to know hey this is wrong... you grow up thinking its okay and will battle everyone in your path... if you have high testosterone levels and aggressive behavior from it and high adrenaline... you will be competitive, subborn, aggressive.  And TRUST me you CANNOT control all of it. 

  

THis woman did not know it was a problem, till she saw her self on film... how many times you see your self on film and say I didnt know I did that, or was that big or skinny or tall etc.  YOU DONT SEE YOURSELF as others see you!!!    She has been improving and she has been trying... and her trying is what I DO... ITs harder than you think... and ukntil you experienced it you would NEVER know!!  I am not saying ITS RIGHT and what she is doing is RIGHT... I am saying... there is a REASON... and although many kpeople  including her children do not understand this.. they will after she gets the help to fix it.    

  

I think too many people are way too judgemental about things they know nothing about and THINK they do know something about.... just because your life is perfect doesnt mean you have rights to condemn others.  when you dont even have the slightest understanding on how thisis... I DO I am in it right now!  ITS HARD its not totally CONTROLLABLE. 

  

  

 
December 8, 2005, 7:58 am CST

another thing

YOu can count to 100 even wait a whole day and the fires and the rage will still be there trying to get out and  if you are calm... next thing that happens that sets it off it will all come at once like you bottled everything up and everytime you control it, some stays back and each time it gets bigger and bigger. 

  

  

 
December 8, 2005, 7:59 am CST

Well Said ...

Quote From: tla43138

Okay, I am worried about her children, but i am also worried about Michelle.  She seems to be severly depressed to me, and everyone knows what that can lead to.  I have four young children, and believe me, I know how stressful it is, and how easy it is to get angry and scream.  I have complete faith in Dr. Phil and I give Michelle my best.  Listen to Dr. Phil, I really think he can and will help you with your problems.  Best Wishes--T. Ackison    (tla43138@yahoo.com)

And is also what i was trying to say . I have 4 children myself and i know how hard it can be especially without proper support. 

Regards to all. 

JM 

 
December 8, 2005, 8:04 am CST

reply*

I can relate to Michelle so much.... I too have an anger problem. I had 2 children of my own they are now 13 and almost 15, I had a sister pass away in 1999 and we took on her infant girl whom is now 6. My Mom was also raising a son of hers, he is about to be 8, we have him now because I just lost my Mom in March. I also have another boy who is 15, because my youngest sister is in prison. So I now am raising 5 children, my husband of almost 16 years has really helped me alot, and put up with ALOT too!!!!  I wish I could get some control on my anger that can just explode at times and when it does I just can't seem to stop until they leave for school or something else happens to distract what I was upset about in the first place!  I hate myself for the way I am- the screaming is about to cause my husband to leave. He has high blood pressure and says "he can't take it anymore". Oh I wish I had the help that some of the other people get from Dr. Phil, As I read by another poster, I can relate to almost every show he has. If I have to work I will tape him and watch later, I just love what he does for people.  Don't get me wrong, I am NOT accepting Michelles behavior, but I do understand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

thanks for listening... 

Sam 

 
December 8, 2005, 8:04 am CST

Michelle and jamie

 Dr. Phill,
Michelle is under extreme stress parenting to lively young girls while living with her parents and using their cars.  I would be totally stressed out too.  Her husband needs to do his part of the job and find a home and vehical for this family.  These neccesssities would greatly reduce the stress of this mother.  She deserves this reduction in her daily stress because parenting young children is the most stressful job of all. God bless you Michelle I will pray for your situation and wish you the best.  From one mother to another I understand your pain and frustration.
 
December 8, 2005, 8:10 am CST

follow up reply

Quote From: queentween

I am not making excuses for Michelle, but there could be a physical issue here- when your thryoid isn't functioning normally,  you can get crazy, paranoid, mean. I had parathyroid cancer and when they removed the tumor, they had to take most of my thyroid with it. I am truly against taking drugs of any sort, and didn't take my thyroid medicine. Now, I am usually a pretty funny, easygoing woman, with a postive outlook. Without my thyroid med. I am paranoid, bitter, and plain old mean. While I never yelled at my kids, I did brush my hair a lot (When my kids bring me to the brink of blowing up, I go out on the porch and brush my hair for 1 minute- I thought during this period that I would lose my mind and my hair!) My Dr said, (and he is an old friend) Take the stupid meds, you are acting like a demon. ANd he was right. SO now I get up and take my meds that I hate but it keeps everything low key. It could be this womans problem as well......

I UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE "THYROID" PROBLEMS.... IF I DON'T TAKE MY THYROID PILLS DAILY ME AND MY WHOLE FAMILY KNOWS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

ITS SOMETHING SHE COULD LOOK INTO!!! 

  

 
December 8, 2005, 8:13 am CST

Sam and others....

I called a Compounding Pharmacy.... you can get saliva and adrenaline and other chemical test there.. insurance covers some of them as my saliva test was.   They can also give you supplements to help those areas you need help with.... with things that need prescriptions you need a gyn doctor that is "for" hormone therapy... and they at least mine did give okay to the compounding pharmacy for my prescriptions by phone... I never had to leave the house... they mailed me the prescriptions and test.     

  

Hope that helps? 

 
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