Topic : 12/08 Extreme Follow-up

Hey! Im just a teenager but i might know some stuff... u never know lol. I read your post and i think you are such a brave person! It must have been hard for you to forgive and foget about the tuff stuff you hav been through.  

I just want to let you know that everyone(at least a lot of people) has a dream or fantasy of who they truly want to be. Some want to be sophisticated, some wants to be at peace with themselves and everyone (which you probably want) Ya and i think we tend to focus too much on the outcome that we start get separated from where you actually are. The road of life isn't about the "outcome", which we say is the true, peaceful feeling and complete joy.  

But have you thought about the process. The road to getting there is actually the "fun" or "thrilling" part of the roller coaster. Its not fun to acheive something great if you didn't have fun along the way. okay i know you might be thinking- not everything in life is as fun as you think.  

But hear this, "fun" is lauughter, "fun" is pain", "fun" is fear and "fun" is everything about being alive. Also people are not animals who follow intincts- they have choices and they are stronger spiritually in every way.  As long as people are alive, they will have obstacles in their lives and most of all- fear. Dealing with it is the bravest.  

Forgiving is an amazing and graceful thing to do. It makes you feel loved becasue you feel big and smart afterwards. Besides, Dr. Phil says so! 

There is always proofs in our lives that show how strong people are. Not only humans have highest IQ, We also have choices, and that ditinguishes us from animals which follow their instincts.  

We're way better than killing and bearing grudges... I know that you hurt a lot but truly u wanna feel better becasue everybody does, no matter how bad they are (murderers, rapers, etc.) no matter how much they deny their conscience they still feel bad and want to feel better.  

We heal and we grow, if we want to. - that is, by living in the moment. So get off atuo-pilot and be there before it falshes by you, and be there when you find peacefullness!!!!!(lol I hope its right now!) 

Jenny 

ps. Your poem is so simple but its so heartwarming. People needs ot see that the simplest things can be uplifting if they just "stop thinking" if you know what i mean. 

Michelle, 

You were brave enough to go on Dr. Phil, tell your story, and get help. When I watch Dr. Phil, I can relate to many things he says, but THIS ONE WAS DEAD ON!!! I feel like you do a lot. I hate yelling all the time. I even get sick of hearing my own voice. But when he asked you what you are angry about, I lost it. That is it. I am so angry at everything in my life that I scream non stop. And when you said you still feel like that inside, I can relate to that too. Because, it seems the more you suppress it the more you feel like you are going to explode. The people that criticize you on these things are not in your shoes, so you can't let that bother you. I would like to get help, but I am not sure where to go. I just wanted to let you know that there are people who feel like you and you are not alone. It's not that you want to be angry, scream and yell at your kids, you just couldn't help it. 

Good luck and I'm praying for you. 

At first I was angry when I saw the first show because Michelle reminded me so much of my mother when I was a child.  My mother was a very angry, volatile and hostile person and I was her target.  As a child, it made me very sick mentally and emotionally and I have been in therapy all of my life.. My mother finally did get help but not until I was an adult.  At one time I got a restraining order against my mother when I was an adult so she couldn't victimize me anymore.  After that seperation, my mother realized that I was important to her and we have begun the healing process.  I now understand why she did the things to me that she did.  She had grown up in a dysfunctional family as her mother was an alcoholic.  Then she married an abusive husband.  She probably felt alot of anger because she had no control over certain things and I was her scapegoat.  I thought she would never change or admit her wrongdoings, which she is beginning to do now and I am 35.   

At least Michelle is on the right track by getting help.  Maybe these girls will have a chance.  I always loved my mother and as a child I just wanted my mother to be happy.  I also wanted her to acknowledge that what she did was wrong, but that took several years because of her pride.  Because all I wanted was validation it has made it easier to forgive my mother and understand where she was coming from.  As a child, I just thought it was me who angered her and that I was no good and the cause of her anger and unhappiness.  This is not a healthy way for a child to grow up . I think things can turn out much better for Michelle and her children.  It's never too late.   

I'm going to give her a small amount of credit for trying to change.But she makes me want to puke myself.Her comment about the messages on here and people not saying it to her face goes to show just how childish she is.I personally would LOVE the chance to tell her to her face that she needs to have her kids takin away. 

I mean honestly, kids equal stress.I had my daughter when I was 15.She's 8 now,and yes I get upset with her at times.But ALL kids act up.Her children were doing NOTHING to deserve what she did.I would NEVER do that to my child. 

If she continues on this path I fear that her children will grow up to be just like her.She is starting a domino effect with them and it will only get worse unless she is stopped now. 

Michelle I pray that you get serious help and straighten up now before it's too late.And Jamey, you cannot let her continue this way.