Topic : 08/21 Ask Dr. Phil & Robin with JCPenney Jam

The one woman has gotten through life on her looks. Is that really something to be proud of? When these two women compete with eachother for a size zero, it makes me feel enormous at a size 8 . I have no idea how tall they are, but a size 2 or 0 is tiny for nearly everyone.  I wonder what goes through thier minds when they are out and about and see someone who is larger than they are...are they disgusted?  I have much more respect for someone who looks closer to fourty than twenty when they are 40..it just seems more natural...is it really making yourself beautiful if it's obvious that it's fake?  I know, I know...I don't live with these women, and so on, but it still bothers me that they are unhappy with themselves at a size two. It also seems like all thier competition is physical. When the 15 yr old girl brings a boyfriend home, is her step mother going to try to win his approval as well?  

  

Also, if this msg has been posted numerous times, it's because I am having problems w/ my computer 

Anyone that can wear a size zero could use me for shade at the beach!!  That's right I'm a big girl.  But I have something this lady doesn' have and that's inner peace.  I love life and I view each new day as an adventure. 

So pass the biscuits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  

You can't be serious!!  A woman gives birth to her FOURTH child after a 4 hour labor without an epidural and gets lifetime TIVO, a plasma TV and a day at the spa???  She didn't develop a cure for AIDS for God's sake!  Come on!  Millions of women go through childbirth without drugs everyday and live to tell about it!  Really!  I gave birth to two children after only 8 hours of labor each, no drugs, and my reward was a speedy recovery, two beautiful kids, and that was enough for me.  I felt great afterwards that I had accomplished something everyone had told me to "dread."  (i.e. the "pain" of childbirth!!)  Come on Dr. Phil;  let's encourage and empower women, not treat them like weaklings who should be pampered for doing what many of us do without even thinking about it.  Good grief!  Why do you think they call it LABOR??

wow! I really feel sorry for the woman and her daughter.  I think it is a shame that that the mother is so obsessed with weight and looks that she has to point out and criticize her daughter if she gains even a couple of pounds. Wow, get a life and quit obsessing about your daughter's weight. You are turning her into a neurotic, self-centered, weight obsessed person. Thank god my mother was never like that, she always told me how beautiful I was (even during my awkward years) and taught me that inner beauty was way more important than how you look on the outside because beauty fades no matter how much plastic surgery you have. Besides, eventually you end up looking unnatural and creepy. I suggest you focus on  developing your inner self so that when your looks eventually fade (and they will) you have inner beauty. I have to say I think Dr. Phil was way too easy on this woman and the damage she is doing to herself and her daughter. There is nothing wrong with dieting and exercising to look your best and taking pride in your appearance but there are limits.

When we had our second child (we only have two), we involved our daughter in the whole thing.  The gap between them (51/2 years) was bigger than you have, so these ideas may not work for you.  I think the real essence of success lies in making sure that your daughter feels that the role of "big sister" is very important:  

• I had a book with photographs of the stages of fetal development so she knew what he looked like every month. 
• She watched my ultrasounds.
• She talked and sang to him in my tummy.
• I don't remember where I got them, but I had a box of sample size baby products and she used them on her best friend, bunny foo-foo, to practice being a big sister. 
• Before he was born, we picked out rattles and puppets for her to use to distract him if he cried.
• She was at the hospital waiting when I had my planned c-section.
• She was involved in choosing his name.
• She was the first person to feed him pablum.
• She taught him letters and numbers.

We also made sure that she was front and center and not overlooked by the extended family.  They are now 7 and 13 and their relationship has always been wonderful. I rarely see any signs of jealousy or rivalry. 

I have to feel sorry for women like this who think the only valuable thing they have to offer is their beauty.  They must be very insecure about themselves.  For Janie to be training Brittiney to have the same insecurities and fears as she has is a lack of proper parenting.  Brittiney should be learning that she is valuable no matter how she looks, building a self worth that relies on how she handles herself around others, good work ethics, knowledge, kindness, honesty, things that really matter.  Knowing that Janie has the attitude that it is all about beauty would make me feel judged by her and would never want her as a friend.  Why not make others feel comfortable instead of in competition with you?  To be so obsessed with what you eat or how much you weigh or what size your clothes are would be a total turn off to me.  How boring it must be to be around you.

Dr. Phil. I watch your show everyday and I love it. But what do you do on the weekend?  I am trying to 

get ready for Christmas this year. See you soon. Also what  it is like to live in Los Angeles, Californi 

a?  See you soon. Sincerley Your. Ruxssell Vlaanderen.----------------------------------------------------------- 

My 4 year old daughter has suddenly been saying that she has to wear make up to be pretty .  I don't understand where this is coming from, she is way to young to start thinking about image.  I keep telling her that she is already pretty and does not need it.  But she says the girls on the TV look prettier than her.  Is this going to pass or am I going to be fighting this for along time. 

  

Anybody have any advice?? 

I have been stuck at home recovering from surgery, and I normally am not able to watch your show but I may start recording it for later viewing. The show that featured the dad who thinks his 7 month old is a piano prodigy struck a cord. I work as a coach and an umpire with kids playing youth baseball. I see far too many parents who think that their 7, 8, or 9 year old is the next A-Rod and will drive them to make sure they achieve what is actually the parent's goal.  

  

I would love to see a show based on this topic since there have been many news stories in the news in the last few years of parents who resorted to violence when their kids were not treated as superstars. It is usually driven by one parent who dominates the situation and maybe a show like this would serve to enlighten the less dominate parent and convince them to intervene.