I am 5'1 & 1.2", probably around 115-120, 49 currently and disabled with Fibromyalgia and we believe Rheumatoid Arthritis. However, I had been diagosed with RA in my early 20's and both parents have it and so does my sister. My sister also has been diagnosed with FMS, RA & a brain tumor. My brother had RA when he was 2 and 3 yrs old. He had to take 16 baby asprin a day and he crawled to get to where he needed to go.
I have completly changed my methods of cooking and eating.. I read that processed foods hurt FMS patients. If the product has been grown organicly it's better. I am most of the time a happy go lucky person; however, being disabled has put a dampner on my life and I am trying to adjust to my new life; which is very hard to do. I've unfortuantely have had various medical problems every since I had a bad car accident in my early twenties. I do have very depressed days and lots of stress because of this illness and the difficult financial position it has left us in so far; meaning just my in co-pays, my medications are hitting around $300 a month, then I need certain supplements and the insurance company does not cover cost of these. When we can't buy my medication because we need to pay a bill, that of course makes me worse having to go without a prescription.
My husband, is a terrific man and makes good money and I did too when I could work. But things changed. of course with the disability. Our obligations were still there but our income was lowered dramatically. This put added stress on both of us. Stress is not a good friend to people with FMS or to people without FMS. Stress physically can make a person sick and you well know.
He, my husband, tolerates a lot but he does understand I am sick. He has to pick up the slack most every day. On my good days I try to do as much as possible, so he doesn't have to worry about it. But those days are few and far between lately. But he is stressed as well but does not want to admit it; men! That stresses me out. This man has not had a vacation in the 3 years he has worked at his previous employment because he took the money instead because we have always needed it to pay bills. From the time he gets home on a Friday afternoon until he returns to work on Monday, I usually am stressed out to the max and he is too; but, I pick on him making his weekend terrible. I feel I am stressed, because when things do not go right for him in something that he is trying to do he gets very aggitated and I can't handle aruging or ranting and raving.
My family , which is in TN, puts stress on me because of all the bickering most of the time. I just don't understand it; but, we live in CT and I am trying to mend from my past problems with my family, their current problems, a rape I endured the same year I lost my dad, and was told I needed a complete hysterectomy due to uteran cancer and the procedure was done the same year.
I have left my husband 3 times for different reasons, but I love him. I am afraid that we may let this stress because of my disability come in-between us. I was declared disabled with FMS in 99-2000. I continued to work even though I had and still have panic attacks and the horrific pain from the FMS. By the time I got to work, I literally had to lay on the floor for an hour or so to ease my pain.
In March 2003, we purchased our first home. Even though I was sick, I just tried to deal with it and continued working but finally my body caved in and shut down. I feel that most of the time he resents me or he's not listening to me; but, when I ask if he does, he always says he doesn't. resent me, and he does listen to me. You see his actions to me do not show it. Women just automatically do things around the house when it needs to be done or if something is needed at the store, we just pick it up; men have to be ask to do this or my does. I just go off on him a lot when things are not done the way I want it done; and, wish I could change that for him and me. I have gotten better about not worrying about my house being as clean as I keep it but I try to deal with the way he handles chores.
The pain I have is a 24/7 ordeal from the FMS and leaves me chronically fatiqued and seconding guessing myself all the and thinking too much about the past, present and future. I just worry too much. I try to handle the finances, but it's difficult for me to keep up with now because of my incognitive memory thus our credit rating is shot once again. And also when the funds are not there, then I can't pay and thus more stress. When a person needs to borrow money, they can't; when they don't need to borrow it, then they are bombarded with companies trying to give them loans.
Our main concern is to make me better so we can have our life back. I'm sorry I didn't mean to write a book here; but, there is more to tell about my past medical problems. . I am a mess when I have bad flare ups; which is now all the time because of our weather and the financial stress.
Despite the medication I am on, which they most certainly do help with the pain and my mood swings. My point is I am exercising, eating lots of fruits and veggies, drinking lots of water and cutting out white sugar, white bread, white rice replacing them with whole grains. I changed all to brown and lower in fats. I eat organic when the food is available in that form.
I do not own a scale either, Robin. I loved hearing you say that on today's show. I am one that I used to yo yo with my weight because of my height and consistently was put myself down. But, now I use Denise Austin Fit for Life Program and it's working great. Even with the horrific pain I get some days (a 10 on a scale from 1-10) I make myself exercise. Most days I am a 5-7 with my medications, many therapies, exercises and diet. I also have a slightly bulging disc L-5 from the car accident and had a mild stroke in 1993.
Dr. Phil, how can I get my life back before things really get worse? I mean I know most everyone does have financial problems, but we have dealt with this problem from the beginning of our marriage and now with my disability, well it's getting impossible to try and handle. Our bills are overwhelming to me and literally is making me sick. I fear it's doing the same thing to my husband.
Thanks for reading my book.
Sincerely.
Carlene
(Original Air Date: 12/09/05) It's Ask Dr. Phil and Robin day! When they say "anything goes," the guests take full advantage. Melissa says her sex life is boring, and that it's all her husband, Spencer's, fault because he is too uptight. He says he's tired of being a piece of meat. Can they meet in the middle when it comes to the bedroom? Next, Russell says his daughter, Nyla, is a piano-playing prodigy. His wife thinks he's pushing Nyla too hard -- especially since she's only 7 months old! Then, a mother and her teenage stepdaughter compete to see who can eat less in order to lose weight, and Robin tries to set them straight. And, a mother fears for her 13-year-old daughter, Kelli, who drinks, smokes and is missing curfew. See what Dr. Phil has planned for Kelli. Plus, go backstage and get a sneak preview of Dr. Phil and Robin hosting the JCPenney Jam Concert for America's Kids, and learn how this organization is working hard to provide kids with opportunities after school. Talk about the show here.
