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Topic : 08/21 Ask Dr. Phil & Robin with JCPenney Jam

Number of Replies: 128
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, December 02, 2005, 03:58:26 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 12/09/05) It's Ask Dr. Phil and Robin day! When they say "anything goes," the guests take full advantage. Melissa says her sex life is boring, and that it's all her husband, Spencer's, fault because he is too uptight. He says he's tired of being a piece of meat. Can they meet in the middle when it comes to the bedroom? Next, Russell says his daughter, Nyla, is a piano-playing prodigy. His wife thinks he's pushing Nyla too hard -- especially since she's only 7 months old! Then, a mother and her teenage stepdaughter compete to see who can eat less in order to lose weight, and Robin tries to set them straight. And, a mother fears for her 13-year-old daughter, Kelli, who drinks, smokes and is missing curfew. See what Dr. Phil has planned for Kelli. Plus, go backstage and get a sneak preview of Dr. Phil and Robin hosting the JCPenney Jam Concert for America's Kids, and learn how this organization is working hard to provide kids with opportunities after school. Talk about the show here.


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December 9, 2005, 12:47 pm CST

Janie and Brittany

I think Dr. Phil dropped the ball big time on this stepmom.  It is obvious she is so self absorbed to not realize what a tender and impressionable age this child is and how many young girls her age (and younger) become anorexic and bullemic due to poor self image.  What a lousy message to send and role model to be that looks are all that is important in life.  That's a tragedy!
 
December 9, 2005, 12:54 pm CST

you are not a number..

Quote From: beyond_it

wow! I really feel sorry for the woman and her daughter.  I think it is a shame that that the mother is so obsessed with weight and looks that she has to point out and criticize her daughter if she gains even a couple of pounds. Wow, get a life and quit obsessing about your daughter's weight. You are turning her into a neurotic, self-centered, weight obsessed person. Thank god my mother was never like that, she always told me how beautiful I was (even during my awkward years) and taught me that inner beauty was way more important than how you look on the outside because beauty fades no matter how much plastic surgery you have. Besides, eventually you end up looking unnatural and creepy. I suggest you focus on  developing your inner self so that when your looks eventually fade (and they will) you have inner beauty. I have to say I think Dr. Phil was way too easy on this woman and the damage she is doing to herself and her daughter. There is nothing wrong with dieting and exercising to look your best and taking pride in your appearance but there are limits.

I agree that Dr. Phil was way too easy on this step-mother. She is no way a size 2 and it is wrong to push her warped sense of reality onto her daughter. All children need to feel unconditional love and at such an influencial age to push the "diet" concept into her everyday life is sickening. That young beautiful girl is going to develop an eating disorder and that is said from experience. That mom needs to go to therapy and deal with her own low self esteem issues before it ruins the daughters life. It doesn't matter  that the daughter says she feels fat, she has learned that from you. Being healthy does not have anything to do with numbers on a scale or a dress size. The mom needs to stop obsessing on her looks before the daughter has a lifetime of hurt. 

 
December 9, 2005, 12:56 pm CST

be happy with yourself

i just watched the show and i cant believe the way the teenage girl was talked about by her step mom. I do not think that this is any way that a mother should ever speak about her child. Parents should be nurturing and supportive Is that supportive, twlling her she is overweight, there has got  to be a better way to go about this. This girl is a size 2!!! That is not big...i do realize that her step mom does not want her to become a size 12 like she said, but this is not the way to do it. By her talking to her daughter like this, telling the audience and nation she is overweight she is teaching her step daughter o pick out her personal flaws, if her step daughter  thinks like this she will never be satisified with herself and will be wanting surgeries etc like her step mom when she gets older aswell.  I agree with robin, the need is to focus on health, that way she will grow up living a healthy lifestyle so she will not have to worry about being overweight (which she is far from now!!!!!!) and she will not have the negitive thoughts about herself. Intervention. This is the first time that I have posted anything but i had to do it because I work with children everyday and i would never want my children to be made to feel like their body is not good enough, we try to teach our girls to be happy with themselves, not find all their flaws. I know i do not know the whole story but i myself was made to feel this way in high school and i would not want it for any other person, step mom included!! You are not aging badly at all, from a womans perspective you are beautiful and I would stop wasting you money on these procedures and start to really enjoy your life. To live a happy life starts with being happy and satisfied with yourself.
 
December 9, 2005, 1:28 pm CST

12/09 Ask Dr. Phil & Robin

Quote From: cofeegirl

My 4 year old daughter has suddenly been saying that she has to wear make up to be pretty .  I don't understand where this is coming from, she is way to young to start thinking about image.  I keep telling her that she is already pretty and does not need it.  But she says the girls on the TV look prettier than her.  Is this going to pass or am I going to be fighting this for along time. 

  

Anybody have any advice?? 

When my daughter was your daughter's age she pined for glamour too.  I dealt with it by having the occasional "night of beauty".  We would go to the drug store and buy some scent, nail polish, bath stuff, facial masques and inexpensive cosmetics.  Then we would spend an evening doing our hair, painting our toes, etc.  It was great fun but enjoy it while you can.  My daughter hasn't asked for a night of beauty for ages. 

  

My daughter is 13 now and she has a very solid sense of her value. One thing I avoid is praising her looks-not entirely, but I try to focus on other things.  If her parents and extended family value looks too much, so will she.  I praise my daughter's intelligence, her kind heart, her artistic talent, her sports ability, her poise, her drive, her clothes sense and almost anything other than appearance. 

  

  

 
December 9, 2005, 1:30 pm CST

Aging Gracefully and Looking Good

I'd just like to make a comment to Robyn regarding aging gracefully.  I think you and alot of people who feel that way are blessed with great genes and never show your age so it's not really an issue.    However, alot of people aren't that lucky and choose to fight it all the way and if that makes them feel better about themselves they shouldn't be made to feel badly.  Unfortunately, society today still pushes thin, young, beautiful etc.  so it always seems to be an issue.    I have three daughters ages twenty, seventeen and sixteen.   My youngest was in an accident when she was three which left her scarred.  She is bright, funny caring.  She does her hair, make up and wears the same clothes as her sisters.  She can light up a room with her smile and is positive  person and just goes about her day without a care.  I will be glad for the day that looks aren't a 9 out of 10 as that one mom tells her daughter.  Inner beauty is a 10 out of 10.  I wish society  could see past the outside of everyone and really get to what is important in a person.
 
December 9, 2005, 1:31 pm CST

unbelievable

Quote From: beyond_it

wow! I really feel sorry for the woman and her daughter.  I think it is a shame that that the mother is so obsessed with weight and looks that she has to point out and criticize her daughter if she gains even a couple of pounds. Wow, get a life and quit obsessing about your daughter's weight. You are turning her into a neurotic, self-centered, weight obsessed person. Thank god my mother was never like that, she always told me how beautiful I was (even during my awkward years) and taught me that inner beauty was way more important than how you look on the outside because beauty fades no matter how much plastic surgery you have. Besides, eventually you end up looking unnatural and creepy. I suggest you focus on  developing your inner self so that when your looks eventually fade (and they will) you have inner beauty. I have to say I think Dr. Phil was way too easy on this woman and the damage she is doing to herself and her daughter. There is nothing wrong with dieting and exercising to look your best and taking pride in your appearance but there are limits.

I believe we call it vanity!!  Obviously someone once impressed upon Janie just how important it was to get somewhere on her looks.  You know what?? Shame on her for not being the adult in the 'competition' between her and her daughter.  The girl is 15!!!  Exercise is healthy..eating right is healthy too(which they BOTH seem to be forgetting!).  But this competition thing really sucks the big one!  

  

 
December 9, 2005, 1:32 pm CST

Look in a mirror she is a reflection of you!

Quote From: cofeegirl

My 4 year old daughter has suddenly been saying that she has to wear make up to be pretty .  I don't understand where this is coming from, she is way to young to start thinking about image.  I keep telling her that she is already pretty and does not need it.  But she says the girls on the TV look prettier than her.  Is this going to pass or am I going to be fighting this for along time. 

  

Anybody have any advice?? 

4 year olds are little sponges and are a reflection of the world around them.  I suggest you don't let her watch tv and you don't watch tv until she is in bed.  Get one of those boxes and record what you want to see and watch it at night after she is in bed.  Or if you can't live without it during the day then, send her to preschool and watch it then. 

  

  

  

 
December 9, 2005, 1:34 pm CST

12/09 Ask Dr. Phil & Robin

Quote From: crazyeyes

i just watched the show and i cant believe the way the teenage girl was talked about by her step mom. I do not think that this is any way that a mother should ever speak about her child. Parents should be nurturing and supportive Is that supportive, twlling her she is overweight, there has got  to be a better way to go about this. This girl is a size 2!!! That is not big...i do realize that her step mom does not want her to become a size 12 like she said, but this is not the way to do it. By her talking to her daughter like this, telling the audience and nation she is overweight she is teaching her step daughter o pick out her personal flaws, if her step daughter  thinks like this she will never be satisified with herself and will be wanting surgeries etc like her step mom when she gets older aswell.  I agree with robin, the need is to focus on health, that way she will grow up living a healthy lifestyle so she will not have to worry about being overweight (which she is far from now!!!!!!) and she will not have the negitive thoughts about herself. Intervention. This is the first time that I have posted anything but i had to do it because I work with children everyday and i would never want my children to be made to feel like their body is not good enough, we try to teach our girls to be happy with themselves, not find all their flaws. I know i do not know the whole story but i myself was made to feel this way in high school and i would not want it for any other person, step mom included!! You are not aging badly at all, from a womans perspective you are beautiful and I would stop wasting you money on these procedures and start to really enjoy your life. To live a happy life starts with being happy and satisfied with yourself.
Hey!  I'm a size 12 and I am totally sexy and gorgeous.  Really, I'm not just saying that and I'm not vain-I just know the truth.  A woman with breasts, thighs and a bum is sexy. As long as she is fit, a size 12 is just fine.
 
December 9, 2005, 1:36 pm CST

getting on my last nerve with size

Quote From: crazyeyes

i just watched the show and i cant believe the way the teenage girl was talked about by her step mom. I do not think that this is any way that a mother should ever speak about her child. Parents should be nurturing and supportive Is that supportive, twlling her she is overweight, there has got  to be a better way to go about this. This girl is a size 2!!! That is not big...i do realize that her step mom does not want her to become a size 12 like she said, but this is not the way to do it. By her talking to her daughter like this, telling the audience and nation she is overweight she is teaching her step daughter o pick out her personal flaws, if her step daughter  thinks like this she will never be satisified with herself and will be wanting surgeries etc like her step mom when she gets older aswell.  I agree with robin, the need is to focus on health, that way she will grow up living a healthy lifestyle so she will not have to worry about being overweight (which she is far from now!!!!!!) and she will not have the negitive thoughts about herself. Intervention. This is the first time that I have posted anything but i had to do it because I work with children everyday and i would never want my children to be made to feel like their body is not good enough, we try to teach our girls to be happy with themselves, not find all their flaws. I know i do not know the whole story but i myself was made to feel this way in high school and i would not want it for any other person, step mom included!! You are not aging badly at all, from a womans perspective you are beautiful and I would stop wasting you money on these procedures and start to really enjoy your life. To live a happy life starts with being happy and satisfied with yourself.
While your over all message seems to say you don't agree with this stepmom, you then say...i do realize that her step mom does not want her to become a size 12 like she said, but this is not the way to do it.  HUH?  The point is what is wrong with being a size 12????  NOTHING  You sound every bit as critical about a dress size as this mom.  Not everyone can be a size 2 or even a size 12.  If I starved for months, and was nothing but skin and bones, I wouldn't be a size 12 let alone a 2.  Wake up, women, it's not about a number.
 
December 9, 2005, 1:41 pm CST

Wow did not know there was a size 0.

Quote From: mistyc

Anyone that can wear a size zero could use me for shade at the beach!!  That's right I'm a big girl.  But I have something this lady doesn' have and that's inner peace.  I love life and I view each new day as an adventure. 

So pass the biscuits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  

This is her step daughter.  If I were her birth mother and someone was sending those messages to my daughter, I'd be sending homemade fudge and other goodies to that woman constantly. 

 
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