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Topic : 08/11 Conned by a Con Artist

Number of Replies: 256
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Created on : Friday, December 09, 2005, 03:59:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 12/12/05) You may have heard, "If something is too good to be true, it probably is." Dr. Phil's guests learned this lesson the hard way. Sandra thought she was marrying a bachelor with whom she would spend the rest of her life. What she didn't know was that she was being conned, and that when she tied the knot, she would be wife number seven! See what happens when Sandra and wife number six get together. Why is Dr. Phil concerned with the way they are coping with their pain? Then, when Coni met Paul, he claimed he owned a business, had a Ph.D. and was an Air Force Major. But the life he detailed was all a big lie. Now that Coni has put her husband behind bars, she fears he's plotting revenge. What does Dr. Phil think? Plus, a former FBI profiler shares the signs to look for so you don't become a con man's next target. Talk about the show here.


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December 12, 2005, 8:31 am CST

am i being conned

I have been dating a man for a month now, he took me to out to lunch and payed for it, but the next day he asked to borrow $20.00 because he spent all his money at lunch the day before. He said he would pay me back at the end of the week so I have yet to see if he will. I don't understand taking someone out and not having the money to pay for it. If i don't have the money to go out I don't go. I am the type of person that will chip in to him pay and then I will pay, you know like kind of sharing the expenses sometimes. I don't want the man to have to pay for everything all the time, but I do like to be pampered once in a while. Another time he said he wanted to do something special for me so he took me out dancing and then he took me to a hotel. Well, he went to the desk to pay for the room and then he came and asked me if I had my credit card on me that he didn't have enough money. He said he just needed $10.00. I am waiting for my bank statement to see if I actually payed for the whole bill. Am I being conned?
 
December 12, 2005, 8:37 am CST

can't always tell...

Quote From: lh2000

I'm sure there are some red flags here once you get beyond the cover.  The lesson learned here is don't ignore them and get well beyond the cover prior to marriage. 

  

They have shared their stories in a courageous way we need to honor that by learning from them. 

There are lots of times that NO red flags are there; I know, my friends, family and myself all missed them.  There's a reason they call them CON artists!
 
December 12, 2005, 8:48 am CST

12/12 Conned by a Con Artist

Quote From: donnacopy

Con artists like the men in this show are much more common than people realize. Many con artists are soicopaths, and experts believe that one percent of the population are born as sociopaths. That means there may be 3 million sociopaths in the United States.

I found out the hard way. I was married to a sociopath who took all my money, had a child with another woman during our marriage and left me in debt.

Since then, I have developed a website that teaches people to recognize and avoid sociopaths called Lovefraud.com.

Ed Hicks, who was profiled on this program, is a case study on Lovefraud.com. You can read it at: "Ed Hicks: 7 wives, 4 overlapping marriages, 6 ads on the Internet."

Donna, thanks for sharing your Web site, which I visited. I well remember the story of Anthony Owens as I live in Atlanta. That guy's story totally freaked me out. Especially the latest article that said he wants to get back together with one of his many wives because she really loves him. Sure she does, dude. 

  

Like you said, con artists are not always easy to spot right away. I briefly dated a guy I'd met online who turned out to be a compulsive liar. He had a lot of sob stories about being bipolar and his ex-wife not understanding him. He told me he was living with a housemate but did not bother to tell me it was his former fiance and that they were still sleeping together.  

  

I didn't find out until I called his house when he wasn't there and she answered the phone. She then proceeded to tell me the whole story. I found out a lot I didn't know, a lot of lies that he told. When he called me that night, I confronted him. He didn't deny anything but acted like I was the one with the problem. I was very happy to tell him to take a hike. I was lucky because I found out before it got serious.  

 
December 12, 2005, 9:06 am CST

Revenge is Sweet

I met a man in January of 2005.  He was 60, a widower and seemed to be too good to be true.  He sure was too good to be true.  He promised me a trip to New York, and had excuses why it didn't happen.  He always had reasons for me not to come to his house.  We always met elsewhere.  We even discussed getting married.  He took off and went to Alabama in April and was gone 3 months.  He came home and said he had had enough of traveling and was home to stay.  He had alot of excuses not to see me after he got home.  Four days after he got home he left again for Florida.  He said he had been to a party and met a former school mate and she offered him a partnership in her business.  It was the chance of a lifetime he said, and he couldn't pass it up.  He got there just in time for huricane season.  I thought to myself wow it serves him right.  He told me that he had signed a contract and had to stay 90 days or he would lose his $50,000 investment.  My friends kept telling me something was not right.  I didn't want to believe he would lie to me.  In August someone suggested that I check online for an address for him.  I did and I found 2 addresses.  I didn't tell him what I had done.  We talked about me coming to Florida and driving back with him.  But he wanted me to wait to come down after the 90 day contract was up Oct. 15.  A week before the 15th I got a message from him that he had just gotten out of the hospital.  He had broken his hip.   The next thing I knew he was in W. Va. staying with an aunt.  He said he had decided to drive home but it was too much for him.  He was staying there until he was better able to travel.  The beginning of Nov. I decided to take a ride to the address I had for him.  It is about 90 mins. from where I live.  His car was in the driveway so I knew he had lied about being in W. Va.  I headed home and decided to go back and look for a home phone # for him.  He had told me he didn't have a home phone.  He just had a cell #.  I found a # for him and called and a woman answered.  It was his wife.  I told her who I was and she asked me how old he told me he was.  I told her 60.  She said he is 74 and will be 75 in March if he lives that long.  She invited me to the house.  He did break his hip tho.  When I got there he acted like he had never seen me before.  I told his wife what he had been doing.  He was right here in Maine the whole time.  He had told me he didn't have any family.  I guess a wife isn't considered family.  I was told I am not the first one he has done this to and I am sure I won't be the last.
 
December 12, 2005, 9:25 am CST

men an women

well i think there is no perfect man or women, we all have something in our life or child hood, i guess we all will have to ask dr, phil what to watch for , sad to say but its true,
 
December 12, 2005, 9:25 am CST

Con Artists

I truely wish I could tell if my Husband is a con artist or just a very hurt and angry person.  I guess either way, it's good we are not together right now. 
 
December 12, 2005, 9:28 am CST

gay or ??

Quote From: dagmmd

I have what may be a stupid question; how can you tell is your husband is gay and/ or bisexual?  I have been married for two years and have found out about a number of things he lied to me about before we were married and some significant deceptions since; now I have serious questions about his sexuality?  Can someome help me???
you know the best way is just sit him down an come right out an ask , if he wont write a letter send him a email or write a letter put in the mail an mail him a letter.you have a right to know, i guess some of us find out after the fact an its not easy , good luck
 
December 12, 2005, 9:29 am CST

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

Quote From: donnacopy

Con artists like the men in this show are much more common than people realize. Many con artists are soicopaths, and experts believe that one percent of the population are born as sociopaths. That means there may be 3 million sociopaths in the United States.

I found out the hard way. I was married to a sociopath who took all my money, had a child with another woman during our marriage and left me in debt.

Since then, I have developed a website that teaches people to recognize and avoid sociopaths called Lovefraud.com.

Ed Hicks, who was profiled on this program, is a case study on Lovefraud.com. You can read it at: "Ed Hicks: 7 wives, 4 overlapping marriages, 6 ads on the Internet."

What this woman has to say is exactly on the mark.  I have been waiting years for shows like this one; but there is still no mention of what exactly these sociopath's are.  I encourage all victims of such con men lovers to search the internet for the condition call NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER, and see the similarities.  This mental condition is not treatable.  Most who have it, deny anything is wrong with them and do no warm to mental health professionals.  I was lucky enough that the monster I was involved with was sloppy and I have an open, layed back personality, I was able to easliy research him, contact his other wives and girlfriends and actually help them understand what a creep they were involved with.  This man "dated" as many as 12 women at a time, all believing they were the only person in his life.  The real shocker was that he was either bisexual or oppressively gay and hated women!  These con men most likely are more seriously mentally ill then anyone could imagine....the are sociaopaths.  I've wanted to expose him so many times, but the have found that he was the most convincing pathological liar, that he current women didn't believe one bad word about him.  He has married and divorced 3 times, has 5 children by four women.  He plays the martyr and has conned women into financing expensive things for him, then dumps them.  Two of the women he was involved with had just inherited money and he broke them both.  If you think you are involved with such a person, please educate yourself about narcissistic personality disorder, we owe it to our daughters, our girlfriends, to all the women we know, to help them identify such con creeps.  

 
December 12, 2005, 9:36 am CST

It's easier than you think & increasingly common

Quote From: dagmmd

I have what may be a stupid question; how can you tell is your husband is gay and/ or bisexual?  I have been married for two years and have found out about a number of things he lied to me about before we were married and some significant deceptions since; now I have serious questions about his sexuality?  Can someome help me???
If he is using the household computer, you have every right to purchase big brother spyware.  My con man creep was not very orginial with his passwords and I found that he was advertising on numerous gay and bi sexual sights.  They actually have sites where the men hook up the same day, for nothing but anonymous sex.  You owe it to yourself to research him as much as possible.  If you live with such a man and have children, I sorry to say, there is a good chance that these men are so sexually insane that even children are objects for there sexual pervertions.  Don't waste time.  If you suspect, 9 out 10 time, you will be right.  TRUST YOUR INTUITION!
 
December 12, 2005, 10:03 am CST

Never expect the truth.

Quote From: boxblonde

you know the best way is just sit him down an come right out an ask , if he wont write a letter send him a email or write a letter put in the mail an mail him a letter.you have a right to know, i guess some of us find out after the fact an its not easy , good luck
The whole point of a show on con men is that you can't trust a word they say.  You cannot just ask them and expect a truthful answer.  That is why you must do your homework, take command of the household computer, cellphone records, credit card statements, and catch them in the act.  Sociopathic habitual liars will even lie about things that they didn't even need to lie about.  Don't ask....snoop the heck out of him.  As far as sexuality goes;  our society has suppressed homosexuals to the point that the number of homosexual men trying to pass themselves off as heterosexual husbands and fathers is on the rise.  Deep seated sexual repression can lead to many of these sociopathic tendencies...them will go to great lengths to cover the turth.  They know they are messed up, can't find an out and often feel entitled to victimizing to make themselves feel better.
 
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