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Topic : 08/11 Conned by a Con Artist

Number of Replies: 256
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Created on : Friday, December 09, 2005, 03:59:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 12/12/05) You may have heard, "If something is too good to be true, it probably is." Dr. Phil's guests learned this lesson the hard way. Sandra thought she was marrying a bachelor with whom she would spend the rest of her life. What she didn't know was that she was being conned, and that when she tied the knot, she would be wife number seven! See what happens when Sandra and wife number six get together. Why is Dr. Phil concerned with the way they are coping with their pain? Then, when Coni met Paul, he claimed he owned a business, had a Ph.D. and was an Air Force Major. But the life he detailed was all a big lie. Now that Coni has put her husband behind bars, she fears he's plotting revenge. What does Dr. Phil think? Plus, a former FBI profiler shares the signs to look for so you don't become a con man's next target. Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.

 

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December 12, 2005, 11:52 am CST

These are the basics how did he measure up?

Quote From: dagmmd

There are lots of times that NO red flags are there; I know, my friends, family and myself all missed them.  There's a reason they call them CON artists!

"There are lots of times that NO red flags are there; I know, my friends, family and myself all missed them.  There's a reason they call them CON artists!" 

 

 

He had long term friends and family that he comfortably let you get to know.  

  

 

He had assets relational to his age and the location where he lived. 

  

 

He had a clean credit report 

  

 

He had a clear criminal background 

  

 

He had a stable work history. 

  

 

He had a stable home(lived in the same place for more then 5 years). 

 

He has things he had owned at least 5 years. 

  

 

He knows his neighbors and had a good relationship with some of them. 

 
December 12, 2005, 11:56 am CST

I've never been conned, personally, but...

I've never been conned, personally, but...this really creeps me out! This guy sounds like he is just in it for the money or something. And I agree with what everyone else has said, about con-men being mentally disabled. But what if something traumatic happened to them in their childhood? Maybe that could be an underlying cause as well. I don't and wouldn't know. I hope some of you are able to clear this up for me! 

  

Reb299 

 
December 12, 2005, 12:05 pm CST

trying to get over the hurt

I think I was conned by an artist,he did not rob me of any finances or material things,what he did was rob me of my self worth,up to this day I can't believe how I could of let him to that to me,I was pregnant for my boyfriend when I found out he had someone else pregnant and was involved with another lady,after that I find myself not opening to people are trusting, I am watching dr.phil daily  trying to learn from others mistakes but it so hard,I was blessed with a wonderful son, whom I love dearly but when I loook at him I can't help to think about how he hurt me
 
December 12, 2005, 12:44 pm CST

Try your best...

 I think the ladies on this show really need to overcome this situation. They have been left with so much on their shoulders because of a lie. No matter what life puts you through you need to move on, even though sometimes its hard, it has to be done because if you don't act soon then you might not have a happy life that you need to have. You can do things for yourself by doing things such as going to social groups and doing things to relax yourself. Trying some sort of thing like yoga is surprisingly something that could really help you, it will put you into a relaxation mode that you really need to be in. Don't trap yourself, set yourself free even though it may take time. Stop being so afraid and go out places and enjoy yourself, being traped is going to do nothing anything for you. You have to go out and do something about it, you aren't just going to wake up in the morning and everything is going to be perfect... help yourself. Try putting the word out by talking to people about this, you could create bonds with people that have been through the same thing.
I hope you ladies the best and remember to try really hard to put the words out and help others, don't let this put your trust down for the people that truly do love and care for you, theres someone out there for everyone and don't let that give you dis-belief.

-Stephany
 
December 12, 2005, 12:48 pm CST

all the losses you can suffer

I see too many women with my same story; besides questioning my husband's sexuality, (gay or bisexual), I found out after the first year of marriage that I was wife #4; his family will not have anything to do with him, he lied about his military record, and had inheritances he didn't tell me about.  He's on his third job since I met him.  Meantime, we have gone through $85,000 of my assets, I pay most of the bills, and he has the nerve to complain that his name isn't on the house title.  I'm beginning to think that old saying is right:  Men are a nice accessory, but not a necessity!
 
December 12, 2005, 12:51 pm CST

Not Such a Rare Breed

Quote From: mistyc

You have to approach online dating with caution just like you should do any relationship.  I was conned out of several thousand dollars by a man I met at my church.  I married a man I met online and he is salt of the earth.  If the sleaze balls only frequented the internet we could all easily avoid them. 

     It's bad enough that con artists are found in general society, but it's even worse when they pop up in churches and Bible studies. These creeps frequent these places because that's where some of the best "pickings" can be found. Just show up out of the blue (to scan for suckers), put on a saintly countenance, seek out a vulnerable lady (single, of course; usually divorced or widowed and somewhat well-to-do) and pour on the charm. By the time the poor woman has figured it out, she's been taken, big time. God never intended His children to trade common sense for blind faith.
 
December 12, 2005, 12:55 pm CST

Good Job Dr. Phil

I just want to say, Bravo Dr. Phil, for doing a great job with this topic.  Dr. Phil was very good at pinpointing that these woman were stuck in a place where they were blaming themselves and beating themselves up over the mistakes they had made.   Dr. Phil not only provided excellent help in reaffirming that they are in fact the victim, and should not blame themselves, but he also offered help and great concrete advice!  I am so pleased with this show and the way it was handled, Dr. Phil did everything that  the big "O" on ABC has failed to do when dealing with a very sensitive victims in regards to very sensitive topics.   

  

One tip that I've learned is to be careful of any man who asks for money.  I am a single mother of two, and any man that asks me  to borrow (GOD FORBID GIVE HIM)  more than a dollar triggers all of my high alert alarms.  I make sure to walk then, no matter how much of a good-looking sweet talker he is.  This rule has never failed me! 

  

 
December 12, 2005, 1:07 pm CST

Next time...

...get a background check. Just because someone looks or acts innocent doesn't mean they are! How old are those women? You'd think they would have wisened up years ago.
 
December 12, 2005, 1:11 pm CST

Just be patient with yourself

Quote From: fighter9

I have learned that only by educating yourself about these guys can you ever hope to trust.  Also, speaking OUT about them - do not suffer in silence - take back your pride!! 

  

It really upsets me when I hear women (and men) say "Oh THAT would NEVER happen to ME!! I am too smart for that!!"  One of the women on this show? Sandra? Is a very highly educated lady.   

  

To read more about predators you should also visit a couple sites where one of the Con Men on the show is talked about: 

  

http://fightbigamy.typepad.com 

  

http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com 

  

For me I will NEVER date again.  I was conned by someone I had known for 27 years!!! A friend!!  He used his long standing acquaintance with me to get my trust and prey on myself and my friends.   Afraid to trust - says it all.  The person I trust the least? ME!! 

  

(personally anyone who does online dating these days, especially now that Match.com is being sued, is taking a horrible chance) 

 Healing takes time.  And being conned is sort of like a death, so it is all a process.  In time, if you allow yourself to feel the feelings that this incident has brought forth for you, you will find yourself progress more and more towards being at peace with the situation and then being able to move on. 

  

I am so sad to hear people say they will never date again.  I've gone through a similar experience in the past, and though I am very lonely, I know that in time I will be ready to go out in to the world again.  I am patient with myself because I am healing, and I am very cautious, because I do not want to make the same mistakes I've made in the past again. 

  

Take time to be with yourself.  Get to know yourself and in time, it is my prayer that things will get better 

 
December 12, 2005, 1:13 pm CST

True

Quote From: unispecter

...get a background check. Just because someone looks or acts innocent doesn't mean they are! How old are those women? You'd think they would have wisened up years ago.
 I think that what you say really is true. But how can you find out about someones real background?
I know its possible I'm just curious becausei  find it hard to trust people and i think that it really is important to know someones background
 
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