Topic : 08/11 Conned by a Con Artist

I just found out last night that my boyfirnd of 5 months has had another girlfriend in Indiana the whole time.  And we live together!!! 

I know this is not close to being married to someone and losing thousands of dallard by his scam, but it hurst just the same.  I have had "suspicions" about things from time to time, of course with an explanation of them all.  But I always had questions and doubts.  He swore nothing was or ever will go on with him and some other woman, that it hurt him that I felt he could do that to me.  He would look at me and tell me he loved me, wanted no one else, wanted to marry me and have children.  That he allways wanted to be near me, touch me, hold me, and why because he loved me and no-one else and how can I not see that.  He always wants his hand on me (in a good way) and that I turn him on completely, all the time because he loved me and needed me, no one else.  Blah, blah, blah,  I found out last nite when I received a phone call from the "suspect" other woman and she told me everything when she asked if I was with him at the time because she hadn't heard from him all day.   

The have had picked up a relationship they had lost a while ago.  She has known him and his family for over 16 years.  They dated a while but when he moved out to Chicago it didn't work for her.  He stared to "see" her again about 5 months ago.  About the same time we started dating.  I went down to Indiana and met his Father and Father's friends.  Whe she knows very well.  But he told her we broke up after that and we have been apart since.  Oh there,s so much more., but  I just don't know what to do.  We moved in together in Sept. and now I need to get my stuff out. 

He was there when she called last night and then he turned on me!!!  Saying it was her he loved all the time and see, dosent it hurt, and just saying all these cruel things like well, how come she has my ring to marry her, and you dont.  All these vicious things, all came out cuz he got busted.  I ended up speaking to this other woman for about 2 hours last nite.  I don't know why... Just  to confirm and get more informatiopn?  I dont know.  She told me they would talk everyday, morning, noon and night.  I said oh, ab8 a.m. in the mornings, and yes, well, thats when he would leave our bed and our home and then call her.  When I would be at work at night he word talk to her for hours.  I gave her certain tiimes on certain days that he would have "ran and errand", and yep, sure enough those were the times that he would call her.  Who does that. please, I know I am rambling, but I need help to get through this, the hurt and betrayal is overwhelming the anger and I donty know how to deal. 

Please can some one help me..... 

  

I just want to know where we go to prosecute these guys. I was married to one who had several wives and I just found out last year after a funeral in his family. He robbed me but I can deal with it. However it's a little hard for his adult daughter who has now found out she has siblings she has no idea how to contact. The man has the audacity to collect benefits from the military with a wife he isn't even married to while the other wife is still owed back support. I've been to the Veterans department and the local police department but can't get anywhere without a social security number. Meanwhile this man is collecting benefits that he does not qualify for. He enlisted fraudulently in the first place. I just want a place to start my  complaint.

The most deranged crooked people on the planet?  WOW, what a generalization!!!   Of course, there are some that way, JUST AS THERE IS IN ANY OCCUPATION!!   Enron happened, does that make ALL corporate execs crooked?  Several teachers recently have had sex with students, are all Teachers pedophiles???  NO NO NO 

  

HOPE YOU NEVER NEED A COP! 

I am worried of the different kinds of cons that every woman who is or trying to make something of their life get caught up in. The bigamy con is the old woman con. What I mean by that is (women who has been divorced or widowed or low self esteem, wealthy and don't care about what kind of man they get involve with.) That kind of con has been around for years. The con that worries me is the gigolo con. Men getting out of prison and seeking wealthy women to support the lifestyle that they use to have. These men are going on the Internet in chat rooms. No, this did not happen to me , I know someone who is telling me about this, because him and other ex-cons is luring these woman with their bad boy image. These cons are dangerous and soulless.  These con are the king cobra of snakes, we women need to be careful of these men because the majority of men in our society is  in prisons, not just black any more.

  

Hey Coni I hoped you read my message about your husband Paul as con artist. You feel trapped not want to go anywhere lock doors keep inside.. U have fears of going to place to places even understand how you feel your sitution that someone may come after you.
I dont have any con artist relationship.. But I have been into minor attack by family member who is pyschio. After this has happened to me  in 2004 I never be the same being fear to go out public cannot trust people, fear of someone may come after me even though she s been back into hospital as supervison. You know people out there  some are crazy can go after someone who s hurting by them. She s been phoning all the time had to pay more to block  my phone she wont call at home.  The police told me that she s not allowed to come in town ever again if she did then report  they will arrested her no matter what she has bad records. I warned my husband if he ever talk to her again or see her or asking for her Im gone for good. Its very hard on me not to trust anyone in town. I m in close space. Medication cost me alot of money woo I think she should get  abusive money since he s been damagee her health etc.. and couselling. Its shame that Dr. Phil would have put you go for couselling therphy help before the Goof ball  released in 2007 so u can have self esteem and be strong. I m still in couselling and just had lock doors when im home alone refused answer the phone. Is that shame?? 

I hoped in future for dr phil's advice help you more understanding maybe someday you can help others. Keep in post. Pray about it and keep in faith do not let anyone ruined your life its not worth it. Im ok  it just one in while it does bugging me to beware whos  around me. 

If you have to resort to spying on your mate, Your Relationship Already is in Trouble and both of you would be better off apart.  Just like women who say, "I need proof he is cheating"  - if you think he is cheating and there is no dialog, Your Relationship has Bigger Problems than Just Cheating!   What kind of relationship is built upon spying and mistrust? 

     I just want to add this to the list. I am a 25 year old male who suffers from very low self-esteem issues and Bi-Polar disorder. When I was 21 years old I met a woman who was just out of prison. She saw me and paid attention to me that I wanted from another person let alone a woman. She got with me and convinced me to mive in with her after being with her for only a month. She had accumulated a large debt with the local check into cash companies and convinced me that I was in love with her more than anything in my own life. She got me to distance myself from my family. Then she got me to do something that was not becoming of me. She got me to break the law and defraud a bank so that she could get out of her debt. All things were going her way when she got greedy and I later found out she had an extensive drug habit. She took most of the money totaling close to $25,000. When she found that the she was going to get arrested, she convinced me that I was also going to get into trouble, which I was and did, and that I was not going to beable to see her or be with her unless I was married to her. This was around Christmas when I had met her the day before 9/11. We were wed on 12/29/01. She controlled my life from behind bars and she had me steal from various places to give her money while in prison. I later found out that she was released from prison 07/01/01, and it was the 3rd time being in.
On a lighter note, I finally learned from the mistake and divorced her while she was still in prison, but it was too late. I am currently on probation with no ability to get a job. I am only surviving due to an incredible woman who I am now with that actually loves me for me, and helps me with my problems, and gave me 2 beautiful children. Please remember my story guys and remember that there are also women out there that are looking for someone to "take".

there is so much you can do to hide your self without leaving town. and you dont Need to look over you shoulder , he already knows you meen buisness .

I have chilren from a con and let me tell you ,They are the ones who realy get hurt,Im no good at taking on paper but truly I say to you is try to move forward because you can.When you have children you cant ever move on .This I know

He didn't marry me. But he dangled the carrot for almost 11 years. And of course, i blame myself for being a fool.  There were a lot of signs i did not want to see. And some I saw but convinced myself were not what i thought they were. Or things would change because I was really the one he loved and wanted to be with. But much of what i saw on the show described him. He saw an opportunity to take advantage of a trusting individual. I did not have money, but had a job and credit. I still had my job but after a few years with him and his "emergencies" i had to file bankruptcy too. His first con when i looked back was tellilng me someone had an air conditioner to see him for $50 bucks, but he did not have it. This was after i mentioned that i had received my tax return. I see this as a "test" he did to see if i would offer to help him. From that point it was all downhill. He took me to "his apartment", only thing is it turned out to be his brother's place, as i found out when he almost walked in on us. Then there was the bill he couldn't pay, could i help, the vcr he needed, could i charge and he would pay me back. He asked me to take out a loan to help him as he had no credit  (big surprise!). Only i did not have enought credit then. I did not catch on that he did indeed have either another woman or a wife ( I am still not sure what she is). He would see me on weekends and such, but rarely stay over. Then there were little bits of money i would get like tax returns etc. And he always needed something. but i really thought he loved me. He would throw the "M" word around now and then . Then i got hurt and could not work but that did not send him away. As i was now getting disability and a lawsuit for my injury brought dollar signs in his head. But he said we would move to where he was born (out of country) so i really thought whatever he had here he wanted to leave behind for me (ha!). I mean, who takes a woman to another country if he doesn't mean to start a life with her? Answer: HE DOES!!! He left severall times and would be gone for months leaving me alone in a foreign land. Finally i said i could not take it and he agreed to go back to states. We would get married, etc. So, this is the really hard part to admit but I BOUGHT A HOUSE WITH MY INJURY SETTLEMENT MONEY AND PUT HIS NAME ON THE DEED WITH MY OWN!!!  He lived here only a few days after we (I) bvought house. Then he stayed in another state where the woman he was "no longer with" lived. In the house where "he no longer lived". Trouble is he had never left either the house or the woman. But still took me for all i was willing to give. My only way to live with this is to say that only someone who looks at the world as I did then would have not trusted him at least initially. By the time i had my doubts, he lied and told me whatever i needed to hear to keep it going. I will not hate myself for being a trusting person. That is what i did wrong.  

HERE'S THE WORST PART OF WHAT HE DID----------------A few months after buying my house, my daughter and her husband were murdered. I went to her state, next to his "Other" state to handle things and bring my grandchild home with me to raise. He left me to come back all alone to raise a toddler and my other son. He did not show up for 4 months, then only to "help" me decide what to keep of hers and what to dispose of "he read money into that i guess). Then after several weeks he was leaving again. I literally begged him not to leave me like this. I was an emotional wreck and needed him, but he left anyway. FOR THE NEXT YEAR HE CALLED PROMISING TO COME "SOON" AND ALL THE WHILE USING MONEY IN MY CHECKING ACCT. (hE HAD A CARD).  I discovered he was also going on vacations with the otehre woman on my money. When he started talking about maybe me selling the house and moving back near him i had enough (or woke up). I could not put myself through anymore after losing my daughter, i had nothing left to give or take emotionally. OR FINANCIALLY.  He had spent all, most, of funds not used to buy house. The house was the only security i had left and i needed it to raise my grandchild. I was not willing to lose it. So i finally ended our "relationship" TWO YEARS LATER i got court papers that he was suing me to "partition" my home and he wanted half (this means it gets sold and we split fifty-fifty! NEVER MIND I PAID FOR HOUSE WITH MY INJURY SETTLEMENT. I PAID TAXES.  I PAID INSURANCE. I PAID FOR ALL HOME REPAIRS. AND HE LIVED HERE A TOTAL OF 4 WEEKS IN A 5 YEAR SPAN!!! So they don't have to marry you to "TAKE' you. You just have to be too trusting, like me. I had to offer a settlement and take a mortgage out on a home i owned outright, while on disability, to buy him off and keep my home. So i have decided it is not worth the cost of trusting as i don't know how to pick them, do I? 

  

OH YEAH, HIS MOTHER KNEW ALL ALONG HE HAD THIS OTHER WOMAN ALL THE WHILE HE WAS "WITH" ME!!! Seems she married one j ust like him and accepted it as the norm! Beware and ask questions. If they say they don't have a phone---run the other way. Mine said that, funny thing is that when my lawyer did his deposition for the house thing, he called from the house he "no longer lived in" from the phone number "he did not have". But at least i already knew that by then. 

  

I ddcided not to give himthe power by seeking revenge. His ego would only see anything i did as me thinking about him, no matter what i might do, likle cut up and mail pictures, send dog poo roses, etc. He would still think i wanted. him. He even showed up four months after i ended it with him at my door with his luggage! Let the cab from the airport leave as well. He thought i would see his sorry face and take him back. Boy was he surpirsed when i sent him on his way and did not even let him in MY house.