Topic : 08/11 Conned by a Con Artist

Coni- I know that you have gone thru alot in the past year or so.  Today after watching the show, I cried when you cried , seeing the pain that you went thru.   (((((Hugs go to you, g/f.  I am there with you!!!)))))  You have always been a strong, confident, independent woman and you should not let some poor excuse of a man take that way from you!!!  Like Dr. Phil said in a round about way, you caught onto Paul's game early and were smart enough to catch it before it got any further than it did.  COODOOes to you!!!!!    

It crushed my heart when I heard and read that you no longer can trust people.  Trust is a very big issue when it comes to all types of relationships.  (From family to friends to even if you work: the people you come in contact with.)   How can you build relationships if there is no trust?    This is just food for thought.  You need to rebuild with yourself  and become a stronger, more confident and more independent woman!!!!         

Friendship, Love and Prayers- ALWAYS-    

YOU are someone I would love to meet!  LOL  I couldn't agree more!  It most DEFINATELY is a personal "choice" whether or not to utilize a dating service.  I have used both YAHOO and MATCH.COM (among others) and have yet to have a "horrible" experience.  Not to say that it couldn't happen ... but I put out there just what I'm looking for and the moment a guy starts appearing "too perfect", out come the feelers!!  I play a game called "20 questions" and proceed to delve deep into his psyche.  I'm a natural analyst, so this game puts me more in tune with the guy I'm talking to - and weeds out those who are BOGUS.  It helps that I'm not a PUSHOVER or looking for a romp.  It further helps that I'm not an enabler or settling for ANY man, just to make me feel better about myself.  I love me and my life.  I date and have a wonderful time! 

I believe that self-confidence comes from within.  You CHOOSE how others treat you.  I've met my share of fruitcakes online, but it has gone no further than a chat, then specifically telling them that they aren't what I'm looking for.  Sometimes it gets heated and egos are bruised, but BELIEVE ME, those guys are the ones who can't remember WHO they've talked to - they'll get over it.  I've had the same guy I turned down, actually IM me - forgetting he had even spoken to me!  LOL  My point is:  Not all MEN are like your EX's and not all WOMEN are like your EX's - nor are they ALL CON ARTISTS!!  It's not only unfair to lump them all into the LOSER pile - it's unhealthy.   

Why punish yourself the rest of your life for one lesson learned?  I firmly believe that the lessons we go through in life teaches us how to treat others or allow ourselves to be treated.  Why allow someone else to take away the fun you could be having - the life you could be enjoying?  Me? I'm a competitive person - and I REFUSE TO LOSE A GAME I DON'T PARTICIPATE IN!!  Don't play the game.  CHOOSE not to.  Sounds so simple, because it is. 

Tell yourself why you DESERVE to be happy, to be treated well and to be loved.  Look in the mirror and say "I LOVE YOU!" every day - smile at what you see ... hold your head high ... say hello to a stranger ... you'd be surprised at how much good comes back to you!   YOU DESERVE IT!!  :) 

The point of the show isn't about all men being con artists, just that some are. The generalization that you made about cops isn't not just a generalization but your attack on cops as a whole. Believe me in every occupation there is at least a select few that are the bad guys. We just have to learn to be more cautious of the people that we date. Not everyone will be a con artist, or a bad guy. I still have faith that there are nice men out there, and I have been battered, abused, used and conned more than once. I think my DON JUAN OF CON finally let the lesson I should have learned sink into my brain. Don't belittle the whole group over the select few.  

Donna

Ed was not arrested because of Dr. Phil being aired, but the perserverence of Sandra and Julie and wife number 5 they persued the bigamy and had to be persistence in that. These women are courageous! 

There are so many scams out there on the internet, it isn't funny!!  Most of the ones I have the pleasure of knowing about are the men who talk sweet, tell you everything you want to hear (or have never heard), then tell you they are taking a trip to Africa (or other country abroad) and will be working there making tons of money.   

The next thing you know, they tell you how much they love you .. how quickly they have fallen for you and how much they trust you.  Again - playing into the roll they KNOW most women love - caregiver.  They tell you they are waiting to be paid, but they will be paid in CASHIER'S CHECK or MONEY ORDER and they have no way of cashing this method of payment.  Hmmmmm .. ASK YOURSELF - what bank doesn't cash a Cashier's Check or Money Order?  These payments are MONEY IN HAND to those who possess them.  Hmmmmmm. 

They will then ask if they can send these CC/MO to YOU to be cashed at YOUR bank, then you keep a little for yourself and send them the rest.  How nice is that????!!  LOL  Well, these CC/MOs are bogus.  DO NOT CASH THEM if you receive them. 

Personally, I play the game ... I ask them all sorts of questions about themselves - where they live, if they have family, their mother/father's names .. etc., then ENCOURAGE them to send me the CC/MO's .. (of course I want to help, right?? LOL) I then walk down to the Post Office and turn them over to the Postmaster.  The one in my hometown is always pleased to receive them - I don't know what happens to these payments - but I do know that the FEDS are looking into these scam artist and they could possibly pull prints off of the CC/MO (I don't touch them bare handed), they could turn them in with my information on the guy - and go after him.  WHO KNOWS???  I just know that when the guy emails me asking me when he can receive his money, I tell him that he'll "get what he deserves VERY SOON" - and just keep it going.   

These guys know NOTHING about me.  NOTHING.  Not first name, not last name, not the city or state that I live in.  Not where I work or what field.  Not whether I've been married, divorced, widowed - have kids or not, siblings or not.  To be honest - I LIE LIKE A YELLER HOUND.  lol  Feels good to give back to those guys.   

When Dr. Phil said you could take the day off, that was an understatement.  It's 6:00 PM in CA and Mr Hicks has been in custudy since 11:00 today, as soon as the show aired back East.  Wahooo!!!.  Congratulations ladies. 

Just to let you know, I was listening hard to Dr. Phil's advice because he may have well been talking to me.  Bless you for sharing your story, now time to PARTY. 

         Sandra, Julie and Connie, 

I just wanted to tell you guys that there are still alot of really good men out there, my husband is one (Dr. Phil seems to be one of them too).  So please don't give up on living your lives to the fulliest.  I have gone through a similar situation.  I never married the man, thank goodness.  But he treated me the same.  I had my points where I just wanted to give up.  I ate alot, gained plenty of weight, had low selfestem and never went anywhere.  I adventually came to my lowest point and then I found God.  He is the one that changed my life today and I have a wonderful husband to show for it.  God gave me the strength to not only foregive but to forget.  Just remember God never lets you go through something he knows you can't take.  And you know what made me happier to know was that God always takes the bad things in your life that you have had to deal with and turns it into something good.   Like Dr. Phil has said you need to love yourself first. 

Things can get better and you can trust again. 

I applaud you for being so courageous to tell your story to millions of people.  You have helped so many people.  Your mistakes are wisdom to many of us.  Thank you for sharing.  You three women are so  precious to God.  He loves you more than you can ever imagine.  God, through Jesus Christ, can bring good out of this traumatic situation.  God has a purpose behind this problem.   

I appreciate Dr. Phil for bringing this issue out to the open.  God bless him! 

If you haven't already, please find a good church, read your Bible and pray daily.  Jesus Loves You!