Topic : 08/11 Conned by a Con Artist

What he is doing is a moral crime, but not one the police can or will deal with. As Dr. Phil always says, "We teach people how to treat us." If those women didn't think they needed a man so badly (and if they had some self-respect) they would want NOTHING to do with your husband. They are getting what they ask for....why are they even involved with a married man? I have no sympathy for them.

 

You don't need to stop him. Only HE can stop himself and he has to want to. My guess is that he DOESN'T want to since you keep staying with him. You are an enabler. He needs counseling. If he won't get it for himself, than YOU should go alone (you need it just as much as he does). Any woman that allows someone to disrespect her so (as you do), is NOT emotionally healthy. If you have children, do it for THEM (if not for yourself).

 

If he is using drugs in your house, you will be arrested right along with him (if he's caught). If you have childeren, they will be put into state care until the court cases are resolved. If he catches a sexually transmitted disease, YOU will be the one to get it (eventually). If he's gambling with family money, that's YOUR money, too. Do you havet to be on the street and broke before you take action with him?????

 

Stop waiting for someone to rescue both him and you. You are an adult and you CAN do this. Remove the "victim label" and get going. You owe it to yourself to stop being treated this way and you owe it to your children (if you have them). Take control of your life and your situation.

 

God bless you. Find the courage and get moving. Yes, you CAN do it. I have faith in you!

I would venture to guess that 99.9% of women (and men) have a feeling something is WRONG with their special someone who is swindling them. However, some of us want a man so badly (and think we need one to be complete) that we dismiss our concerns and pretend all is well.

 

We make victims of ourselves!!! We need to look in the mirror and ask WHY we were selected and why it continued for so long. Until we can learn those answers about ourselves (no matter how painful they may be), we will keep repeating our mistakes and be duped over and over again.

 

In most cases, women wake up and see those red flags. They don't allow themselves to be played the fool. For those who do, I feel for them, but I hope they will start asking themselves WHY ME? Once they know the answer to that question, they will have learned a hard lesson, but they won't be duped again.

 

As for the con men (and women), they need long prison stretches!

If you re-read your post a few times, I think you will be honest enough with yourself to see that you need counseling before you attempt another romantic relationship. If you don't trust your choices and you wonder if there are any decent and honest men out there, you definitely are NOT ready to be dating. There's nothing wrong with becoming emotionally healthy by seeing a counselor. I did it to get over emotional abuse at the hands of my father. I just needed 3 visits to get me on the road to good health and I am VERY proud that I went for help. I hope you'll consider doing the same. Lots of insurance companies pay for mental health counseling and many churches offer such services. Best of luck to you. I hope you WON'T get involved with anybody until you reach good emotional health. God bless!

Please stop insulting men. You generalize and our prejudiced. All men are NOT the same.

 

In my cirlce of friends and co-workers (etc) most men are great guys, just as most women are great. It all depends on who you allow to occupy space in your world. I CHOOSE not to be around losers. And I have been married 17 years to a SUPER guy who adores me and our two children. God and family are tops on his list of accomplishments and I know other men (married to friends of mine) who are just as wonderful. And we are raising a son who is a super, bright and compassionate child...who will one day grow into a great dad just like his father!

 

You remind me of some men who say that all women are the same....all we want is money. ALL generalizing and stereotyping is WRONG, so please don't go there.

 

My feeling is that you have made choices in your life that got you the results  you saw. Life is mostly about choices and consequences. Just because yours have not produced the results you feel you deserve doesn't make ALL guys the same!!! It should make you look harder at  yourself in the mirror.

   I wonder, what Dr.Phil will say after he reads my message??

in my life women are worse than men........that's all I can say

 

 

i am a woman-and I do not nor have i conned any man or any one-  

You must have been conned-or so you think you were-

I think men do more conning or maybe it is 50-50-

I got conned by a guy from Africa and I ended up having to pay almost 200  for a phone bill-And a  few years ago-I got sonned by a couple of guys who I ended up losing alot of money for phone bills -I did not know what they were doing at the time- But they did- and thanks for reminding me-  Smile-

Want to share an experience what happened to you?

This was something i had always heard happened, and had seen movies about it. I never thought a woman from a small town would run into this. But I did. The man i thought was finally sent to me by god and would be with forever, turned out to be the same to many. I hired a private detective and yet still did not want to accept the fact he was a con man. Now, after a few years, and actually becoming friends with a woman he was involved with, we have managed to work through alot of pain. It hasnt been easy. the hurt is still there, but we have decided it is not the man we miss, but the things he promised to both of us that were so important.  It takes time...alot of time. But, if you do not allow yourself to trust at least a little again, then the con man still has control of you...without even knowing.

I was just curious...it seems to me that I have a female friend (no, it is not a "relationship" in that sense) and she is what you would call a user. She comes around when she needs something and then backs off when she doesn't. I have been real upset lately with the way she has treated me, my husband, my kids, how she has treated and used her kids, her 2 ex-husbands, her soon to be 3rd ex-husband, and how she just seems to move from one person to another to get what she wants from anyone who will listen. I have been doing some research (yeah, I am a psychology buff, and it is my Minor in school) and she seems to be displaying all the symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Even down to moving on from people who become strong enough to see through her and she can no longer manipulate them. She has not only torn her family apart, but gone so far as to tear FIre Departments she has worked for apart, EMS departments apart, marriages apart, friendships apart, and she seems to be destroying everything she touches. I guess what I am asking...is this the same thing and does it fall into a "con artist" category because she does use lies and manipulation to get what she wants--this could be anything from prescription meds, to money, to a babysitter, to a car, food, etc.

 

Thank you for your time and thought.

you sound like you have issues as well. we all get hurt sometimes

To me, anytime you try to make yourself something that you arent, or only are interested in yourself and how to get the things you want, and will go to any lenghts to achieve them.....then yes, they are a con....and in my opinion, that is putting it nicely.

 

i hope she realizes how lucky she is to have a friend that calls her or even thinks of her as his friend.  Hopefully she will realize that if she doesnt change her ways, she will die a very lonely person.