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Topic : 06/07 Moms' Biggest Mistakes

Number of Replies: 188
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Created on : Friday, December 09, 2005, 04:01:06 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 12/13/05) If your job description includes long hours, little sleep, and endless requests to open your checkbook, you must be a mom! One single mother wrote to Dr. Phil for help with her two teens, whose wish lists get more and more expensive each year. Then, Kelly has been married only four years and says she can't remember the last time she went on a date with her husband, John. Dr. Phil sends his "Mom Squad" to make a house call. Plus, Jeannette says she used to be a sexy blonde bombshell, but now she's lucky if she even takes a shower in the morning! And Larry King's wife, Shawn, shares some mistakes she made with her oldest son, and gives a surprise performance of songs from her new album. Join the discussion.


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December 12, 2005, 12:34 pm CST

12/13 Moms' Biggest Mistakes

Quote From: girlsmomm

I understand the whole single mom thing,, I have friends in that situation,and I myself being a stay at home mother  relate to many sides,but my one HUGE annoyance is what is with women who cant find time to shower and look presentable. 

When i got married and had kids I refused to become one of those women, who only wears sweats and hardly showers.  It takes no longer to put on a pair of clean jeans and a nice shirt then sweats..I cringe evertime I see a show depicting stay at home mothers and the "mommy jeans or the bad clothes" believe it or not there is a balance out there.  

After reading your message I got a little upset.  I am a working stay at home mom.  I take care of my three children and run a day care.  I wake up at 3:45 every morning to start my day.  I start work at 4:45 every morning.  The last thing I care about at that hour is what my makeup looks like.  I don't care and neither do my children, the children that are placed in my care, or their parents.  I think it is so much more important to raise my children with love and respect and I teach them on a daily basis that your looks are not what matters.  As far as wearing my "mommy jeans and tee shirt"  I wear them with pride!!!!!  I work far to hard to waste time on makeup.  I don't care if people say "She was also dressed so nice"  after I am dead.  I want them to say she was caring, loving, and gave everything she had to make her family happy.  What about Mother Teresa?  No makeup and she was beautiful.  I would rather model myself after Mother Teresa then Kate Moss.
 
December 12, 2005, 1:01 pm CST

Family is important

 It really hurts to those type of stories about kids getting put through so much stress. It seems like there is such a big gap between families. Some children are spoiled and others have absolutly nothing. I am really ... excited to see this show comeing up tomorrow, because its going to be nice to hear what the parent really has to say about spoiling their children. I think its mostly about guilt, because they feel as if their kids will hate them if they don't give them exactly what they want. Raising your children like that is going to make them raise their kids like that and thats not a good place to put your chrildren in. When it comes to Christmas the best gift of all is having your family with you, its not about the presents. Some people don't have familes, some people have families fighting in war for Christmas. How do you think it feels for them? I think that the children need to realize how lucky they really are having their family there with them on Christmas morning. Its not all about the parents, but it is their responsiblity to change it. I think its really important to be happy with what you have and to think about other children that have nothing... that are suffering from deadly deseases, etc. I wish the best of luck for these families, and I hope that their problems get solved or they get a little bettter.

-Stephany

 
December 12, 2005, 1:08 pm CST

12/13 Moms' Biggest Mistakes

Quote From: ekmmommy

After reading your message I got a little upset.  I am a working stay at home mom.  I take care of my three children and run a day care.  I wake up at 3:45 every morning to start my day.  I start work at 4:45 every morning.  The last thing I care about at that hour is what my makeup looks like.  I don't care and neither do my children, the children that are placed in my care, or their parents.  I think it is so much more important to raise my children with love and respect and I teach them on a daily basis that your looks are not what matters.  As far as wearing my "mommy jeans and tee shirt"  I wear them with pride!!!!!  I work far to hard to waste time on makeup.  I don't care if people say "She was also dressed so nice"  after I am dead.  I want them to say she was caring, loving, and gave everything she had to make her family happy.  What about Mother Teresa?  No makeup and she was beautiful.  I would rather model myself after Mother Teresa then Kate Moss.
 I am not a mother but i just wanted to really say "you go girrrl" for standing up for who you are to say that. That is truy amazing for what you do and im really happy to hear someone say "i truly am proud". You dont need make-up to make yourself beautiful, i defintily agree. I think mothers readin that will really make them think. I think that Mother Teresa is truly an amazing role model and if you follow her people will look up to you and they will say "she was an amazing women" .
P.S
You sound like a hard working women, i congradulate you for being so dedicated.
 From,
Stephany
 
December 12, 2005, 1:11 pm CST

12/13 Moms' Biggest Mistakes

Quote From: ekmmommy

After reading your message I got a little upset.  I am a working stay at home mom.  I take care of my three children and run a day care.  I wake up at 3:45 every morning to start my day.  I start work at 4:45 every morning.  The last thing I care about at that hour is what my makeup looks like.  I don't care and neither do my children, the children that are placed in my care, or their parents.  I think it is so much more important to raise my children with love and respect and I teach them on a daily basis that your looks are not what matters.  As far as wearing my "mommy jeans and tee shirt"  I wear them with pride!!!!!  I work far to hard to waste time on makeup.  I don't care if people say "She was also dressed so nice"  after I am dead.  I want them to say she was caring, loving, and gave everything she had to make her family happy.  What about Mother Teresa?  No makeup and she was beautiful.  I would rather model myself after Mother Teresa then Kate Moss.
 I agree with the original poster. I am a work at home mom and I get up early in the morning to take care of my 4 kids and work in my home.  I have and never will own a pair of mom jeans and I  also cannot understand some women that walk around like they have not taken a shower.  A lot of women tell me that they have no time or they have a baby and that precludes them from taking a shower and drying their hair. I don't understand the lack of basic hygiene.   I am not suggesting you make your face up to work at your home day care but there are many women who allow themselves to look like bums. I don't get it.
 
December 12, 2005, 2:29 pm CST

Get a Clue!!!

Doesn't shower, can't remember last time went on a date with hubby?  Don't these women have a clue?  When their husbands cheat on them with someone from the office, etc (who does take care of herself), will these mom's also be as clueless as to why?  I have seen sooo many women take care of themselves right up until the kids come, then it's mommy jeans or sweats, no showers, no hubby time, no time for sex, etc.  Part of being a good mom is being a good wife and taking care of your marriage!   I guarantee, if you aren't sleeping with your husband someone else is!  It takes 10 minutes to shower, apply a little makeup and get dressed!  Too tired for sex??  It is worth it to hire a babysitter for a few hours to take a nap, get ready and go out with your hubby.   This is much, much cheaper than becoming a single mom!!
 
December 12, 2005, 2:37 pm CST

Mother Teresa???

Quote From: ekmmommy

After reading your message I got a little upset.  I am a working stay at home mom.  I take care of my three children and run a day care.  I wake up at 3:45 every morning to start my day.  I start work at 4:45 every morning.  The last thing I care about at that hour is what my makeup looks like.  I don't care and neither do my children, the children that are placed in my care, or their parents.  I think it is so much more important to raise my children with love and respect and I teach them on a daily basis that your looks are not what matters.  As far as wearing my "mommy jeans and tee shirt"  I wear them with pride!!!!!  I work far to hard to waste time on makeup.  I don't care if people say "She was also dressed so nice"  after I am dead.  I want them to say she was caring, loving, and gave everything she had to make her family happy.  What about Mother Teresa?  No makeup and she was beautiful.  I would rather model myself after Mother Teresa then Kate Moss.
Mother Teresa was a NUN!!!????  Not married, no kids, NO SEX.  Do you really think your husband wants to be married to Mother Teresa???  Were you modeling Mother Teresa when you got married??  Like Dr. Phil says, Was it the Bait and Switch?  Not to be harsh, but don't be surprised when he looks elsewhere.  You don't have to be Kate Moss (who would want to be?) but taking pride in yourself is important.  Hmmm.....What was the name of Dr Phil's book?  Oh ya, SELF MATTERS!!!!   
 
December 12, 2005, 3:56 pm CST

I don't get the title "Single Parent"

You are either a parent or not.  Parentling is no different.   Kids are kids.  They need the same things.   

  

If your not balancing work, kids and a husband you have more time for the kids anyway so you can cover both roles.  

  

I found parenting much easier when I did not have to be a wife too.  My life is all about the kids and I'm not balancing the needs of anyone else. 

  

I'm a mom and just because I'm not a wife too does not mean I'm single.  I'm never alone it is hard to relate to being single.  I live as part of a family that just does not include a man and we like it that way.  We are well, I'm sucessful and our homelife is stable and I know who to credit it too and it is not me. 

  

I think the biggest mistake Moms' make is when they don't like something their kids are doing they forget to look in a mirror and evaluate what role thier behavior has in the problem. 

 
December 12, 2005, 10:02 pm CST

12/13 Moms' Biggest Mistakes

Quote From: girlsmomm

I understand the whole single mom thing,, I have friends in that situation,and I myself being a stay at home mother  relate to many sides,but my one HUGE annoyance is what is with women who cant find time to shower and look presentable. 

When i got married and had kids I refused to become one of those women, who only wears sweats and hardly showers.  It takes no longer to put on a pair of clean jeans and a nice shirt then sweats..I cringe evertime I see a show depicting stay at home mothers and the "mommy jeans or the bad clothes" believe it or not there is a balance out there.  

With all the problems in this world, your one HUGE annoyance is what other women wear?  Who cares?!  Hold yourself to whatever standard you want, but perhaps instead of being annoyed by women who wear "mommy jeans" or "sweats", you could attempt to understand why they do.  Maybe they are not as lucky as you to have the time to put on make-up and look nice.  Maybe they would love to wear nice clothes but don't know what looks good on them or can't afford them.  Maybe they don't have the emotional support from their husbands that would inspire them to care enough to even try.  Do you think a woman like that deserves your scorn?  No, more likely she could use a friend and some time for herself.   

  

And before you put yourself on a pedestal for refusing to become "one of those women", remember that you still have a husband who supports you, so that hardly seems like being a single mom to me.  I, like you, am a stay-at-home mom who likes to look nice for my husband, but if I don't have the time he would much rather have a happy, compassionate, frumpy wife than a frustrated, judgemental, stylish one--and so it is with many men.    

 
December 13, 2005, 1:55 am CST

So much Anger!

Quote From: valleb

Mother Teresa was a NUN!!!????  Not married, no kids, NO SEX.  Do you really think your husband wants to be married to Mother Teresa???  Were you modeling Mother Teresa when you got married??  Like Dr. Phil says, Was it the Bait and Switch?  Not to be harsh, but don't be surprised when he looks elsewhere.  You don't have to be Kate Moss (who would want to be?) but taking pride in yourself is important.  Hmmm.....What was the name of Dr Phil's book?  Oh ya, SELF MATTERS!!!!   
 You know what made me feel good as a single parent, not looking for a man and yes we...or should I say I like it this way for now.  Been hurt too much and I'm still healing after three death's. No I'm not a black widow!!!  LOL
  But about the make-up thing....my 11yr. old asked me, "Mom why are you buying make-up?"  (Although they both ask me to wear it when I volunteer to serve lunch at school.) I also have a 7yr. old daughter who asks for the same.  My son says: Do you feel good Mom when you wear it?  And I said, "yes, I feel prettier and more confident;  but I get alot more stares and smiles".  I said, it's kinda werid cause I usually don't wear make-up.....but told him & my daughter if you two like it well then I'll wear it.  He told me, Mom....only wear it if it makes you feel good!!!.    Right then and there I knew I was doing something right!  Howvever, it's a shame as a single parent I'm actually depending on my little man for this type of conversation.  You can say all you want your ethier a parent or your not.  And you don't get the single parent thingy, but baby there is quite a loss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
December 13, 2005, 2:56 am CST

Why beat up on each other?

Quote From: girlsmomm

I understand the whole single mom thing,, I have friends in that situation,and I myself being a stay at home mother  relate to many sides,but my one HUGE annoyance is what is with women who cant find time to shower and look presentable. 

When i got married and had kids I refused to become one of those women, who only wears sweats and hardly showers.  It takes no longer to put on a pair of clean jeans and a nice shirt then sweats..I cringe evertime I see a show depicting stay at home mothers and the "mommy jeans or the bad clothes" believe it or not there is a balance out there.  

Ladies, why do we always beat up on each other? Jeez- no matter what it is, everyone has to put someone else down- even to the point of clothing! I can honestly say, I do not care if you have on baggy jeans, sweats, walmart specials or designer duds. I do not care if you have a mary kay face or a dove face. The only thing that matters to me is if you have a smile on- and if you don't, I want to know why. If you have concerns about other women not doing their hair, or dressing up, offer to babysit their children for free while they go to get a dye job or go shopping for some more presentable clothing. Offer to come over and help them to clean their house so they can try to dig themselves out of an overwhelming housecleaning situation.  Offer to lend an ear while they bare their soul. But quit your cringing, because it gives you wrinkles.
 
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