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Topic : 06/07 Moms' Biggest Mistakes

Number of Replies: 188
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Created on : Friday, December 09, 2005, 04:01:06 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 12/13/05) If your job description includes long hours, little sleep, and endless requests to open your checkbook, you must be a mom! One single mother wrote to Dr. Phil for help with her two teens, whose wish lists get more and more expensive each year. Then, Kelly has been married only four years and says she can't remember the last time she went on a date with her husband, John. Dr. Phil sends his "Mom Squad" to make a house call. Plus, Jeannette says she used to be a sexy blonde bombshell, but now she's lucky if she even takes a shower in the morning! And Larry King's wife, Shawn, shares some mistakes she made with her oldest son, and gives a surprise performance of songs from her new album. Join the discussion.


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December 10, 2005, 8:08 pm CST

Responding to single Moms

My daughter is a single Mom, with a 6 year old little boy. In the past 3 years, she had been planning to get married to her Son's Father, he was on his way to work @ 6:30 AM and was hit by a drunk driver. After 25+surgeries he is attempting to put his life back together. My daughter and grandson witnessed him being pulled from the tangled pile of metal. He was bloody and ashen gray, with critial injuries. Seven months later, her half sister @ 14 years old, was killed in a car accident. Five months later, I was permanently injured in a vehicle rollover crash. I was T-boned by a teenage driver and my vehicle flipped, crushing my head and pinning me in the vehicle. My daughter saw this and thought I was dead. A week after my accident, one of her cousins was killed in a motorcycle accident. She is still a single Mom, trying to deal with the tragedies in her life and be a good mother. I can only do so much. After the accident when Alan was hit by the drunk, they could no longer afford the house they had purchased together. She had moved from tiny apartment to tiny apartment, until my husband and I took out a loan and purchased a place that she could afford to make the payments on with the help of  a roommate. There are alot of single Mom's who need help. It takes a village to raise a child. Three years later, our grandson at 6 years old now, will still tell you about "the bad man, that hit daddy." God bless all the single Mom's out there, that try really hard to raise thier families.   
 
December 10, 2005, 9:48 pm CST

The hardest part of being a single Mom for me...

Dr. Phil,  

  

The hardest part of being a single Mom for me has been the outside interference from my family.   My mother, and my siblings.  I came from an abusive family background, my childhood was a nightmare and my adult life has been as well.  And now, I have moved 300+ miles away from my abusive family and they are abusing me through my children.  To the point that it has caused my youngest son, now 13, very serious psychological issues.  What do I do in a situation such as that? 

  

And by the way, Dr. Phil - I watched your show yesterday.  In your opening dialogue on "Ask Dr. Phil and Robin" - you said something to the effect of 'what is with you people who write to Dr. Phil and then you're surprised when you get a call from our producers?  Do you not think we read our mail?'   

I'm going to put you to the test, my friend.  I've prepared a very detailed letter of the family abuse and the ordeal I am currently dealing with involving my children, and to be honest, I don't think that anyone except for you can possibly help me!  I think YOU are my ONLY hope.  I'll be sending my letter PRIORITY MAIL on Monday, Dec. 12 - it says on the envelope "Desperate to Save My Children."  And it's no exaggeration.  I'm asking you desperately for your help.  Do you really read your mail??? 

 
December 11, 2005, 5:01 am CST

from one single mom to another

Quote From: mlmcelroy

My daughter is a single Mom, with a 6 year old little boy. In the past 3 years, she had been planning to get married to her Son's Father, he was on his way to work @ 6:30 AM and was hit by a drunk driver. After 25+surgeries he is attempting to put his life back together. My daughter and grandson witnessed him being pulled from the tangled pile of metal. He was bloody and ashen gray, with critial injuries. Seven months later, her half sister @ 14 years old, was killed in a car accident. Five months later, I was permanently injured in a vehicle rollover crash. I was T-boned by a teenage driver and my vehicle flipped, crushing my head and pinning me in the vehicle. My daughter saw this and thought I was dead. A week after my accident, one of her cousins was killed in a motorcycle accident. She is still a single Mom, trying to deal with the tragedies in her life and be a good mother. I can only do so much. After the accident when Alan was hit by the drunk, they could no longer afford the house they had purchased together. She had moved from tiny apartment to tiny apartment, until my husband and I took out a loan and purchased a place that she could afford to make the payments on with the help of  a roommate. There are alot of single Mom's who need help. It takes a village to raise a child. Three years later, our grandson at 6 years old now, will still tell you about "the bad man, that hit daddy." God bless all the single Mom's out there, that try really hard to raise thier families.   

hi the story was unbelievable  

i hope your dughter is stil staying strong 

i am a single mom as well  

we are making it because of me going to work every day and doing my best 

i mean that is all we can do  

my heart goes out to your daughter and grandson  

sounds likeshe is doing a good job aswell  

that is all we can do is the best we can  

thanks for taking a stand for us single moms  

there are alot of us out here 

  

 
December 11, 2005, 9:12 am CST

Moms

I understand the whole single mom thing,, I have friends in that situation,and I myself being a stay at home mother  relate to many sides,but my one HUGE annoyance is what is with women who cant find time to shower and look presentable. 

When i got married and had kids I refused to become one of those women, who only wears sweats and hardly showers.  It takes no longer to put on a pair of clean jeans and a nice shirt then sweats..I cringe evertime I see a show depicting stay at home mothers and the "mommy jeans or the bad clothes" believe it or not there is a balance out there.  

 
December 11, 2005, 10:44 am CST

Single Mom Here

I to am a single mom after the break down of my second marriage. My youngest daughter decided to be a cutter just as we were going throught the turmoil of establishing ourselves as a family again. My problem as a single mother and not receiving financial support or emotional support for these issues is that I find myself afraid to discipline her. She's not cutting any more but at 17 she is giving herself sexually to boys who just want to use her. She hasn't any self-respect and i'm not sure how to even talk to her about it. I have said something about finding a boy that will respect her and have caught her with this one imparticular boy twice. Once in my home and another in a hotel room. He hasn't been around since that incident because he's embarrassed. My problem is that i run a business out of my home and have opportunity to move it to a commercial spot but am afraid to do so because if she wants to be sexually active i don't want it in my home but she has no respect for me either. Anyone have an idea please share it. Perplexed
 
December 11, 2005, 12:20 pm CST

STRENGTH AND PRAYERS FOR THE SINGLE MOMS

Quote From: jennife72

hi the story was unbelievable  

i hope your dughter is stil staying strong 

i am a single mom as well  

we are making it because of me going to work every day and doing my best 

i mean that is all we can do  

my heart goes out to your daughter and grandson  

sounds likeshe is doing a good job aswell  

that is all we can do is the best we can  

thanks for taking a stand for us single moms  

there are alot of us out here 

  

   My heart saddened when I began to read about your daughter and my heart saddened  even more as I continued to read about all the tragedy in your daughters life.  I'm a believer when I think God will not put upon us more than we can bear.  But I often wonder How these people continue to be so strong.  Through it all we become much stronger and wiser whether we are in the boat alone or we have the support of our family and friends and prayers.  I myself count my blessings when I  hear about or see other peoples tragedy's.  I think I'm having it rough!  NO WAY , there is always someone worse off than I am.  Your daughter sounds like a very strong young lady and she will continue to be so. 
 
December 11, 2005, 2:02 pm CST

chronically ill, raising a child

Quote From: peanut570

Dr. Phil,  

  

The hardest part of being a single Mom for me has been the outside interference from my family.   My mother, and my siblings.  I came from an abusive family background, my childhood was a nightmare and my adult life has been as well.  And now, I have moved 300+ miles away from my abusive family and they are abusing me through my children.  To the point that it has caused my youngest son, now 13, very serious psychological issues.  What do I do in a situation such as that? 

  

And by the way, Dr. Phil - I watched your show yesterday.  In your opening dialogue on "Ask Dr. Phil and Robin" - you said something to the effect of 'what is with you people who write to Dr. Phil and then you're surprised when you get a call from our producers?  Do you not think we read our mail?'   

I'm going to put you to the test, my friend.  I've prepared a very detailed letter of the family abuse and the ordeal I am currently dealing with involving my children, and to be honest, I don't think that anyone except for you can possibly help me!  I think YOU are my ONLY hope.  I'll be sending my letter PRIORITY MAIL on Monday, Dec. 12 - it says on the envelope "Desperate to Save My Children."  And it's no exaggeration.  I'm asking you desperately for your help.  Do you really read your mail??? 

 I really sympathise with your daughter.  Some people just seem to have bad luck that never ends. 

I have ad a difficult time over the last 10 years.  I miscarried twins when my daughter was  1 year old.  this resulted in an autoimmune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis... a form of arthritis that causes the spine to fuse on its own and it also affects many other joints in the body.  I changed my lifestyle to adapt to this, but 5 years later I had a pulmonary embolism and my arthritis just went down hill form there. I ended up in a wheelchair for any walking more that about 200 m. I went into a severe depression, started having panic attacks. Through all this I tried very hard for it not to affect my daughter.  Due to medication I slowly improved and am now able to do normal walking activities on most days.  Once I started to come out of this severe depression, I realised that my husband was having an affair.  He went back to his ex girlfriend of 15 years previously.  My daughter who had a great bond with her dad was devestated.  I am now in the process of a divorce ( a year down the line).  My ex is refusing to support me and has offered a nominal amount of maintenance  for my daughter.  I am now only Mom, a chronic illness, unsure income in the future and no job and no family in town.  How do I do the best for my little girl who is now 10.  I am really scared that I mess it up completely.   It is really scary to do this on your own, when you have a chronic illness.  Can you give me advice Dr Phil. 

 
December 11, 2005, 3:02 pm CST

12/13 Moms' Biggest Mistakes

Moms biggest mistake's,  blaming there children and everyone else, when its themselves who failed to learn some of life's tougher lesson's.
 
December 11, 2005, 9:05 pm CST

single mom

I have been  a single mom "officially" for twelve months now.  Recently separated from my husband of 8 years, 9 counting this year.  I am raising two special needs boys on my own and the hardest thing I find is I can not even give them the simplest wishes they ask for.  My oldest is 11 years old and his only xmas gift he asked for was a psp and I can not even afford the games he would need for that machine.  My youngest is 8 years old and his only wish was those Lego's Pirate ships and I can not even afford that.  They are just material things but I wish I could at least give them something they asked for, for once.  Playing hockey is a big thing around here and theirs no way my sons will probably ever play.  This separation has cost them alot, their home, their father (who's changed alot for the worst these past 20 months), our vehicle, and some friends because we had to move.  I feel like such a failure when it comes to them, that I would take my cheating, drug "rehab" using, unappreciative ex husband back  just to see them somewhat happier than they have been these past 20 months.  I know it sounds crazy but I can not think of anything else to do.  Single moms do have it hard, because if the fathers hide to not pay child support or make sure to have no jobs, you need to make it on your own.  Daycare, drives, meds, everything is on your shoulders,  and when meds are necessary meals suffer more.  So my prayers are to every single mom out there. 

Nancy 

 
December 12, 2005, 11:34 am CST

Perpllexed

Quote From: tlindquist

I to am a single mom after the break down of my second marriage. My youngest daughter decided to be a cutter just as we were going throught the turmoil of establishing ourselves as a family again. My problem as a single mother and not receiving financial support or emotional support for these issues is that I find myself afraid to discipline her. She's not cutting any more but at 17 she is giving herself sexually to boys who just want to use her. She hasn't any self-respect and i'm not sure how to even talk to her about it. I have said something about finding a boy that will respect her and have caught her with this one imparticular boy twice. Once in my home and another in a hotel room. He hasn't been around since that incident because he's embarrassed. My problem is that i run a business out of my home and have opportunity to move it to a commercial spot but am afraid to do so because if she wants to be sexually active i don't want it in my home but she has no respect for me either. Anyone have an idea please share it. Perplexed
I used to be a single mom and I understand what you are going through with your child.  I understand your child.  I think I can help her.  In your position you can't do anything to discipline her or punish her that she isn't already doing to herself.  It would be useless.  That isn't what she needs.  Her brain doesn't work that way.  She has self respect she won't show it.  She is seeking love and attention elsewhere.  She is feeling empty inside and can't express why.  Even with boys and being active with them it isn't because she wants to be with them,  its because she wants to feel something and can't.  She has pushed her emotions very deep down inside of her where she feels nothing.   Cutting is a way to let the pain out.   I think I can help you learn how to talk to her.   I would love to talk to you privately.  Please email me at shawnandlo@earthlink.net you will need to fill out a form to request I receive your email but I would love to help you.  I don't read Dr. Phil's message board very often...I did today...God Bless and I hope you contact me.
 
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