Topic : 06/07 Moms' Biggest Mistakes

Hey, it's summertime. You'll see a new show sometime around Labor Day. Duh. 

  

I grew up with a single mom raising me, my twin sister, and my two brothers.  She was a stay at home mom so ends rarely met, but she always managed to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads.  She had to accept help from the state and from local charity services, because she firmly believed staying at home to raise us was the best no matter what it cost.  We certainly didn't get everything we put on our Christmas list, and birthdays were more about the cake and family than it was about the 1 present we would get each year.  Christmas was about our family traditions (no extended family including our father was ever around) and enjoying each other's company.  Sure, we would always get a few presents under the tree, but now that I am all grown up it isn't the gifts I remember.  In fact, I remember very few of the presents I received as a kid.  But I do remember singing carols and decorating the tree as a family, and all the other traditions.  I also remember my mother teaching us all that if we put our minds to something, and if we were willing to work for what we wanted, there was nothing we couldn't do in life.   

   

My twin sister has 3 boys, and has gone to extremes to ensure her sons have the exact opposite in life.  She makes the same mistakes that the mothers on the show does by buying her children absolutely EVERYTHING they could ever want, regardless of expense or their behavior.  They all have their own tv's, their own xbox, their own portable dvd players, and the list just goes on and on.  They have absolutely no respect for money, they break just about everything, and they EXPECT their mom to get them everything even at the expense of her own wants.  It's disgusting although I keep my mouth shut because it's honestly her conscience choice.  When they are throwing tantrums and acting disrespectful, I remind her this is the way she wanted it and she admits that it is.  I love my nephews dearly but they are close to the most misbehaved and disrespectful boys I have ever met - but not to me, or to others, really only to their mom and dad.     

   

I'm scared for how they will react when they are all grown up and learn the hard way (as we all do) that life isn't handed to you on a silver platter.  My mom couldn't give us every little thing, but we are all now successful adults and I value my relationship with my mother so much.  We are all extremely close.  I think it's a real disservice to children to not teach them how to work for what they want in life, and that with hard work we can achieve anything we want.  My husband and I are expecting our first little one, and while we could financially afford to drown them in materialistic items we plan to work really hard not to do that.  We both feel very strongly in raising our family with a balance and with a strong sense of work ethic, just like we were.   

My husband and I will be married for nine years in July 06. It has been about seven or eight years since we have been married. Due to my husband being deployed with the military and having two kids, there is no way for us to go on a date. So I know what it is like for husband and wife to have time together. When he is home by the time we get the kids in bed we are so tired we rarely give each other a kiss good night. I suppose that our next date will be when my daughter is old enough to babysit my son. It is very hard not being able to go dates by ourselves and having just me and him time. I would give anything to have a night out with just him when he comes home on Midtour from afghanistan. I do not see that happening. My husband is my world and he is everything to me. But, for some reason we do not seem to show that to each other anymore.

I totally agree with funbags1. Larry King's wife, Shawn, looks horrible. She is obviously anorexic. She was so painful to watch, I had to look away. I was amazed that Dr. Phil "helped" her with being late (an insignificant topic), but said and did Nothing about her very obvious life threatening disease. Dr. Phil, Please help this woman - its abundantly obvious that she needs help - so she can be alive to raise those children.

I am not sure just how old your children are but they are old enough to know better than to put SUCH high expectations on their mother who they can CLEARLY see is working two jobs just to provide the necessities.  To the "children" themselves - shame on you.  You are old enough to know better than to provide your mother with such incredibly selfish lists of expectations for Christmas.  If, as I believe I saw that your mother wrote, you both have jobs, then SAVE your money for the desired iPod and a specific computer (or whatever other expensive high tech equipment you feel you deserve!)  Give your mother the opportunity to feel HAPPY about what she is ABLE to give you by being HAPPY yourselves with a WHOLE lot less.  I mean, you might as well have just handed your mother the entire Circuit City catalogue and told her THAT is what you expected.  I am frankly ASHAMED to think that there are young teenagers in this world today who, quite honestly, are behaving like spoiled 4 year olds.  Grow UP and SUPPORT your mother.  Try looking at what you might give HER as a gift come Christmas, or her Birthday or Mother's Day or tomorrow - just because she is your Mom.  Little do you know how VERY lucky you are to have a mother who is concerned enough about you to have even contacted Dr. Phil regarding the pressure she feels to provide more and more and YET more for you.  Now, I have some questions for you:  (1) When did you last go to bed at night hungry? (2) When did you last go to school with holes in your shoes - or NO shoes? (3) When did you last pay your way to a movie while wearing jeans that were either 2 sizes too small because you'd outgrown them - OR 3 or 4 sizes too big because you had to wear hand-me-downs and they were still WAY too big for you. (4) Have you ever broken a bone or been extremely sick but weren't taken to the Doctor?  Please let me know about these questions, kids.   

   

Now, I have a few more:   

   

1. Do you have a television set?  (never mind perhaps more than one)   

2. Do you have more than one pair of shoes?   

3. Does your family own an automobile?   

4. Do you have a bicycle?   

5. Have you gotten the iPod you asked for last December?   

6. Do you have a bed to sleep in by yourself?   

   

If you answered "yes" to the above questions, then you are clearly living in the United States of America and are amongst the top 1% of the wealthiest children on earth.  As a matter of "fate" you were born into the wealthiest society on earth; one where you have the OPPORTUNITY even at your tender ages to HAVE a job.  I sponsor a child in India whose mother works as a laborer to support HER two children. She earns the equivalent of $17.00 per month for harder work than you will probably know in your entire lifetimes.  Her daughters are lucky to have ONE dress. They carry water daily to use for cooking, drinking, bathing, washing clothes, etc.  The 7 year old often has this duty. Her father died when she was just an infant.  With the money I send this child for her Birthday, (and there is a maximum or I'd happily send more)  she is THRILLED to purchase pencils, school books, one school uniform, one dress.     

   

Now, YOU children, think just a LITTLE bit before you put such high expectations and pressure on your mother.  If you know the meaning of the word "gratitude" then try writing down each day 5 things for which you are grateful.  And let me suggest that the first thing for which you just MIGHT stop and feel grateful for is that you were born in the United States.  That alone makes you part of the wealthiest and most fortunate children on the face of this earth.  The 2nd thing for which you just might feel grateful is that you have a mother who cares SO much for and about you!  

   

I hope I hear from you. And I hope you find yourselves in MUCH happier frames of mind when you stop and really think just a bit about how the rest of the world lives. When you stop and think that your mother works equally as hard for YOUR benefit as the mother in India works for her children.  You are VERY fortunate that your mother just gets paid a whole lot more than she would if you'd all been born in India in anything but the wealthiest class. (There IS no middle class in India - and the same is true for MANY countries around the world. )  So kids, be grateful for your mother and see what you can do for HER for a change; ask her what SHE might like and see what you can do to provide it.  STOP putting your mother LAST on your priority list  and let her know how grateful you are for her.  You'll learn a WHOLE lot more about life and prepare yourselves with a decent future for yourselves, your mother and YOUR future children if you learn the secrets of GRATITUDE.     

   

Sincerely,   

Spirit of "42   

   

who raised 4 children and was the single mother of two for three years.   

Doctor Phil. Biggest Mis Moms Takes is totaly wrong. The way you were talking yo Shawn King on-- 

your show is didgsting and not acceaple at all. But however this Moms Towns is really good. See--- 

you tomorrow Afternoon. Well I had better close now. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.------------- 

I was really able to relate with the couple who hadn't had a date in over 2 years. But when Dr. Phil expressed such shock over it having been a whole 2 years since they'd been on a date, I couldn't help but chuckle. What would he think then if he found out that my husband and I haven't been on a date on over 7 years?! LOL

I haven not been on a date for more than 5 years.  I have 2 kids and thats my life.

• But when Dr Phill thought that not been out on date in 2 yrs is shocking I wonder what he is going to think about my more than 5 years no date no movies and all I do is home and kids.

No Romance at all in my life and married now for almost 6 yrs.
Wow Shocking right

C'mon now, GET OVER IT! Kids have huge wish lists. That's kids, thats normal! Dont' come down so hard on them for being kids! Are they selfish? Yes, kids tend to be. Is it ok? No it's not, but coming down on them with shame and the rest of it is not an effective solution. These kids learned something on the show today and THAT's the important thing! :-)

Oops...I mean they learned something when the show was aired. LMAO