I just loved the "Believe" song on the show today. It is so very true. I believe everything in life happens for a reason even though we may not see God's plan for a long time. And, I believe that we are never given more than we can handle. However, I am at a point where I am literally at the end of my rope with our family situation. I have never written on a message board before, but I thought it would be good "therapy" and we can use all the thoughts and prayers we can get!
Two years ago at this time we were an upper middle class family, living in a nice neighborhood in a nice home. We were the ones giving our annual donations, buying toys for tots, and helping provide food for Metropolitan Ministries. How far we have fallen in that time. It all began on 1/1/04 when I slipped and fell while shopping for bargains and hurt my back. Three herniated discs, pain meds, therapy, cortisone shots, and back surgery followed. I received STD for 6 months and was then told by the insurance company that there was no reason for my constant pain and I should have my head checked out! Since I could not work or take care of our 4 children (including a 6 month old at the time), my husband quit his retail management job of 16 years to start a home business. Flash forward to today, we are renting a home 1/2 the size of our old one, have not paid any credit card bills since 1/1/05, our credit is totally destroyed, our youngest children had to be pulled out of daycare, my husband had clients that didn't pay him, we have sold everything of monetary value on e-bay, our car is about to be reposessed, we are being evicted on Friday, our phone (along with computer access) is going to be turned off at anytime, our kids have been through so much, we have no health insurance, and my parents have turned their back on me.
My husband was able to finally find a job working nights for $9/hr (not even enough to pay the rent). Instead of being in management, he is now stocking shelves. Any money coming in is better than nothing. We did manage to let my son play football this fall, but had to borrow money from my husband's family to live, to have gas to drive him to games, to buy food. His family has been great and has gone way above the call of duty. My parents did loan us some money a few months ago with stipulations about repayment. I let them know that we were served with eviction papers and may be living in our van come Friday and that the phones could be turned off at any notice. Their response was "We're sending a Christmas package, what will happen to it if you aren't there on Friday" and "We were going to call you on Christmas, if you are there will the phone be working". I finally spoke my mind to them and told them how disappointed I was that they have not been there emotionally or financially throughout this whole ordeal. Their response was to overnight the package so we would have it before we were evicted. The $25 they spent on the postage could have bought a Christmas tree for the kids to enjoy for a few days.
My husband is in total despair. He's depressed, feels like he's lert everyone down, could not understand why no one would respond to his resumes, etc. He says the only thing that keeps him going is the kids. Luckily, since I have the "glass is half full" mentality I have taken it somewhat better. Although 80% of the time I don't even want to get out of bed and too keep going for the kids. Our plan now is to try to move to Arizona where my in-law's live and the job market is much better. Since they have been so supportive emotionally and financially, it made us realize how much we wish we could spend more time with them and have our children build memories with their Grandma, Aunt, Uncle, cousin, and other extended members. That is the silver lining I am holding on to and think perhaps it is part of the reason behind God's plan. Two years ago, I would never have given a thought to moving from the state that I love so much.
I guess I am also mad. Mad at the insurance company for taking my LTD payments and then not being there for me, mad at my parents, mad at my back, and I hate to admit it but even mad when I see other people in need being helped out on Dr. Phil, Oprah, etc. In the back of my mind I think, why not my family? My personal goal is to move from public sector sales to private sector sales. I would LOVE to raise money for a non-profit organization by somehow working from home. When I turned 40 I was at the "What's my purpose" state in my life. I always knew that I didn't want to always keep making money for companies, but somehow use my talents to help those less fortunate. Now, that's me!
Anyway, I don't know what the next few days will bring. My husband and I and our 4 children could be living in our van. We don't even have enough gas money to get to AZ!! Both checking accounts have been overdrawn for weeks and when my husband gets his first paycheck it will go toward food. I still "Believe" and know all of this is happening for a reason. It's just a little harder on days like today. Thanks for llistening and I wish everyone a Happy Holidays and a Blessed New Year!!
Gwen started life with the odds against her. Her father died tragically in a fire the day she was born, and doctors told her mother that because of a life-threatening illness, Gwen probably wouldn't live past the age of 7. For years she struggled with her illness and, just when all hope appeared to be lost, everything changed. Find out why her family believes they have received two miracles this year and what Dr. Phil has planned to make this holiday the best ever for her. Then, David suffers from hemophilia and feels excruciating pain every day. He hasn't been able to work and says the worst part is knowing he is a burden to his family. See Dr. Phil's life-changing surprise for David and his family. Plus, Kathy defied her verbally abusive husband to appear on Dr. Phil recently and determined that she needed out of her relationship. Follow her journey since then and see why she believes her miracle -- is Dr. Phil! Talk about the show here.
