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Topic : 01/02 New Year: Old Habits

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Created on : Wednesday, December 28, 2005, 12:01:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It's the start of a new year, and the perfect time to work on those pesky resolutions that you've been putting off for so long! Dr. Phil gives his guests a jump-start by helping them eliminate unwanted old habits. Rebecca and her sisters have an extreme fear of driving. They have to be chauffeured around by family and friends, and they're tired of being a burden on others. Find out what's behind their fears. Then, Gail thought she’d never be able to dig herself out from all the clutter in her home … until Dr. Phil gave her the surprise of a lifetime! Plus, meet a mom whose resolution is to get her family to pick up after themselves. She's so desperate that she started selling whatever they leave on the floor -- on eBay! Join the discussion.

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December 28, 2005, 6:38 pm CST

01/02 New Year: Old Habits

I let my sons (11 & 8) know this afternoon, that whatever was left on the floor when I went to tuck him tonight and everynight to follow, I would pick up and put in a garbage bag and send it to our Moncton Headstart.  Tonight they went to bed as usual, when I went to tuck them in every single toy, game, movie, everything was picked up and put away.  Hopeful it will continue.
 
December 28, 2005, 10:48 pm CST

Yay for ebay

When I first heard about the mom who sold her kids stuff on ebay because they didn't pick them up I thought," Alright!  Now that sounds like a good idea!"  Of course my children are still young and I don't think would even realize if their toys were gone (they are much more outdoor kids) but I think that was a good idea.  Kids need to know that they do have responsibilites and that there isn't going to be someone to pick up after them all the time.  My oldest will be 3 in six days and he knows that he has to pick up his toys and he is pretty good at it, of course there is the occasionall retaliation.  I give her a round of applause because most parents would not think to do that and let there kids walk all over them.  Such a great idea.  I'm just wondering what she did with the money.
 
December 30, 2005, 3:37 pm CST

TEACHING RESPONSIBILITY/EXPECTATIONS

I am surprised at the Dr.Phil taking on this Hype! 

  

Lets see what He has to say! 

  

This is not the way to get/teach Respect, respect is earned, a family with an issue could use other means of communication/methods to resolve, it would be very surprised if his type of solution worked, and in fact, has been said by this mother that the next day there was NO change. I see this as merely attention getting and no more, Moms on Strike is not a new thing 1984 Movie, I hope Dr.Phil explains to other mothers out there with the same problems, that there are Healthier, Unselfish, Unconditional and more respectful ways to deal with this, than selling your family's property without them knowing, and the Charity thing came up after the auction ended an offer from the buyer herself, who bought the stuff. 

  

Plain not right, I sure hope she left  the show with some better knowledge of parenting/family skills 

  

  

 
December 31, 2005, 1:17 pm CST

This does work!!! But you have to actually do it.

Quote From: filindown

I let my sons (11 & 8) know this afternoon, that whatever was left on the floor when I went to tuck him tonight and everynight to follow, I would pick up and put in a garbage bag and send it to our Moncton Headstart.  Tonight they went to bed as usual, when I went to tuck them in every single toy, game, movie, everything was picked up and put away.  Hopeful it will continue.

If you say you’re going to do something you have to follow through let them slide one time and you will loss the battle very quickly.  It will work and they will start picking up.  It sure beats the heck out of yelling and punishing.  It is a logical consequence to lack of care for their things.  Most kids have too much stuff anyway. 

  

 

  

 

Don’t tell your kids you’ll do this unless you willing to toss out anything they own. 

  

 

  

 
December 31, 2005, 2:50 pm CST

suggestion.

Quote From: filindown

I let my sons (11 & 8) know this afternoon, that whatever was left on the floor when I went to tuck him tonight and everynight to follow, I would pick up and put in a garbage bag and send it to our Moncton Headstart.  Tonight they went to bed as usual, when I went to tuck them in every single toy, game, movie, everything was picked up and put away.  Hopeful it will continue.

if the child gets told to pick up thier toys and they don't then ya take some action about them picking up thier toys. just be nice at first if that does not work then be a little harder. 

  

  

 
December 31, 2005, 3:51 pm CST

Well it's been 4 nights

This is the 4 night I have done it, and so far I have only sent one bag, the size of a grocery bag, to the depot.  Tonight I made sure to let them know they still have about 30 minutes before I go in to check in on them, and I hear them putting everything away in its place.  Still Hopeful, I want them to learn that if you keep your things organized and neat nothing will be broken and misplaced.  They seemed to think I would just clean everything every morning after they left for school.  When they noticed I wasn't they were fighting over where who put what and so on.  So this way they know ahead of time, that I give them 1 hour before bedtime to pick up and get ready for bed.  I feel they are old enough now to pick up after themselves.  Theirs no more excuses.
 
December 31, 2005, 4:09 pm CST

Great Lesson!!

Quote From: filindown

I let my sons (11 & 8) know this afternoon, that whatever was left on the floor when I went to tuck him tonight and everynight to follow, I would pick up and put in a garbage bag and send it to our Moncton Headstart.  Tonight they went to bed as usual, when I went to tuck them in every single toy, game, movie, everything was picked up and put away.  Hopeful it will continue.
When my sister and I were growing up (we're now in our thirties), our Dad would throw our shoes in the garbage can if we left them in the middle of the floor after we went to bed when we had been told to pick them up.  I'm sure if eBay had been around, he probably would've considered it!!  I remember only a couple of times of having to dig my shoes out of the trash before I learned my lesson.  I think your sons will learn their lesson too.  Just be certain you follow through if they don't hold up to their end so they know you're serious.  Bravo on taking a stand and letting your kids know that you're in charge.  So many parents are afraid to do that today.  Your sons will be better adults for your work with them now.
 
December 31, 2005, 6:34 pm CST

Good for You ...there are better easier ways!

Quote From: filindown

This is the 4 night I have done it, and so far I have only sent one bag, the size of a grocery bag, to the depot.  Tonight I made sure to let them know they still have about 30 minutes before I go in to check in on them, and I hear them putting everything away in its place.  Still Hopeful, I want them to learn that if you keep your things organized and neat nothing will be broken and misplaced.  They seemed to think I would just clean everything every morning after they left for school.  When they noticed I wasn't they were fighting over where who put what and so on.  So this way they know ahead of time, that I give them 1 hour before bedtime to pick up and get ready for bed.  I feel they are old enough now to pick up after themselves.  Theirs no more excuses.

Looks you have succeeded, and letting them know ahead of time, what you expect and consequences, is good parenting...I wish you well,  seems you have a handle on it. 

I myself have threatened to fill a garbage bag and throw out or give away...but...they were warned ahead of time, gotten very close to going thru with the disipline, but they managed to get the job done before the deadline and before I had to take the drastic measures, I had warned them about.   

Good Parenting is easier in the long run than Bad Parenting. Getting Respect is more likely when respect has been taught, in the first place. 

  

Theyre are other ways of managing "messy kids & family members" than doing it  sneakyly, without telling them and taking their items and selling them, is not my way, and I feel it is disrespectiful, I feel there are healthier ways to address the problem like "filindown" has found..... 

 
December 31, 2005, 7:00 pm CST

Shoes !

Quote From: bookworm71

When my sister and I were growing up (we're now in our thirties), our Dad would throw our shoes in the garbage can if we left them in the middle of the floor after we went to bed when we had been told to pick them up.  I'm sure if eBay had been around, he probably would've considered it!!  I remember only a couple of times of having to dig my shoes out of the trash before I learned my lesson.  I think your sons will learn their lesson too.  Just be certain you follow through if they don't hold up to their end so they know you're serious.  Bravo on taking a stand and letting your kids know that you're in charge.  So many parents are afraid to do that today.  Your sons will be better adults for your work with them now.

  

 I m the mother of two. When my kids were small shoes all over yes of course we drip over few time and been warning about shoes..  put away etc.. so  kids didnt listen   guess what i did. I threw shoes outside. Had to make them walk outside even rain muddy or snow .. Thats taught them a lesson they didnt do it again. It works! 

 
January 1, 2006, 5:34 am CST

it is still working

They still had everything picked up when I went to tuck them in, even under the bed, that's where they had lost the other items, the other night.   My dad used to put our items in a trash bag and hide them in our basement until we picked up the items from that day.  When we woke up the next morning the bag would be returned to our room.  He did that quite a few times until we picked up our things by ourselves.   Although he had 5 girls he treated everyone as one, no special favors, if the baby left her stuff laying around, it would go, if the oldest did the same he would do the same.  So I congratulate him on that, and now as adults we do keep our things picked up, although he won't be around to pick them up and hide them from us.  hahahah 

nancy 

 
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