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Topic : 01/02 New Year: Old Habits

Number of Replies: 66
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Created on : Wednesday, December 28, 2005, 12:01:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It's the start of a new year, and the perfect time to work on those pesky resolutions that you've been putting off for so long! Dr. Phil gives his guests a jump-start by helping them eliminate unwanted old habits. Rebecca and her sisters have an extreme fear of driving. They have to be chauffeured around by family and friends, and they're tired of being a burden on others. Find out what's behind their fears. Then, Gail thought she’d never be able to dig herself out from all the clutter in her home … until Dr. Phil gave her the surprise of a lifetime! Plus, meet a mom whose resolution is to get her family to pick up after themselves. She's so desperate that she started selling whatever they leave on the floor -- on eBay! Join the discussion.

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January 3, 2006, 10:35 am CST

De: Princesse mariam Ibrahim Musa.

 
January 3, 2006, 11:28 am CST

Ditching the kids' stuff could backfire

I just watched this show late last night and had to laugh at the lady who sold her kids' things on Ebay.  It took me back to my own childhood (25 years ago) and I remembered how my mother tried to do this to me.  Don't get me wrong; she tried very hard to teach me from a very, very young age about picking up after myself.  I just fought her tooth and nail every step of the way for years and years.  Finally, she began throwing things away that I left laying around.  Clothes, shoes, toys, hair bows, school books, homework, and the like.  What I don't think she ever figured out was that I was leaving things out that I didn't care about or need anymore.  Shirt or shoes don't fit?  Leave it on the bedroom floor for a while and it'll disappear soon enough.  Done with the magazines?  Gone within a few days.  Sometimes (but not too often) I feel guilty about taking advantage, but she's the one who wanted to do it.  She did it until I got married and left home!
 
January 3, 2006, 11:50 am CST

Scared of Driving Too

I found your show Dr. Phil to be very inspirational...my New New Years Resolution is to Drive this year! I related so well with the girls that are afraid to drive, I also get all clammed up and start breathing fast when I imagine myself driving, i never thought to use positive affirmations to overcome this. I am 29 going on 30 and have 2 young children, my husband was deployed last year and even though last year I made the same resolution, I didn't stick to it because I didn't know how to start. Everyone just kept saying "You need to learn, I'll teach you" but that just made me more scared because I was afraid that they would laugh at me or that they would yell or that I'd crash and hurt someone. The only excuse I get away with is that I"m from Australia and that I always joke that driving is on the "wrong side" of the road here in America, but that only goes so far and everyone is sick of that excuse now. My husband is deploying again this year, and I so much want to surprise him by the time he gets back, I think I will try the positive affirmations but I wish that there were driving instructors suited more to the "Scared Adult" drivers, I know we're out there but it seems that when I looked up driving instructors it was all tailored to the teen driver, so I felt too embarrassed to go ahead with it. If anyone has overcome their fear of driving and has some other hints I would truly be thankful, Here's to a New Year and being able to drive to the airport to pick my husband up!!! I'll get back to you with my progress.... 

  

Thank You Dr. Phil for the start.... 

  

Regards,
Samantha 

 
January 3, 2006, 12:12 pm CST

01/02 New Year: Old Habits

Quote From: morganmad

I believe she had told them all several times that she would do something drastic if they didn't start picking up after themselves. I feel no pity for those kids. They are rude and disrespectful to their parents and need a sharp lesson. I also feel that the children are this way because their parents let them get away with it. Dr. Phil's suggestion was good and I hope it works for them.
Quote From: indiagirl

  

"This is not the way to get/teach Respect, respect is earned, a family with an issue could use other means of communication/methods to resolve, it would be very surprised if his type of solution worked, and in fact, has been said by this mother that the next day there was NO change. I see this as merely attention getting and no more, Moms on Strike is not a new thing 1984 Movie, I hope Dr.Phil explains to other mothers out there with the same problems, that there are Healthier, Unselfish, Unconditional and more respectful ways to deal with this, than selling your family's property without them knowing, and the Charity thing came up after the auction ended an offer from the buyer herself, who bought the stuff.  

   

Plain not right, I sure hope she left  the show with some better knowledge of parenting/family skills " 

  

My grandfather used to BREAK things that weren't picked up, or if his kids were fighting over something.  My mother settled for simply dumping toys in our beds so we couldn't sleep until we'd done something with them.  When things got too messy, she'd threaten us with carting them off to Goodwill.  She never had to, but we knew she would have done it. 

  

I'd do it if the kids were old enough to understand what was going on.  Kids usually have too many toys (I'll say it--I had too many toys, and I didn't have nearly as many as a lot of kids) and anything they really care about, they'll protect.  I still have all my most beloved toys.  I let a lot of others go and don't miss them. 

 
January 3, 2006, 2:56 pm CST

01/02 New Year: Old Habits

Quote From: belka22

I am afraid to drive too. I do drive to work, doctors, etc., but only after I learned the route with somebody sitting beside me and telling me where to turn. I also can drive on unfamiliar route if it is easy on the map. I panic when I have to take a detour, and I particularly scared of the highways, because they can take you far and fast. I think what I afraid is to get lost and be late for my appointment. I do get lost often even on my feet, so I was wandering if I should install GPS system on my car. They are expensive, so I would like to know if somebody out there used GPS to overcome their fear of driving?

Mapquest.com is my absolute favorite for directions!  and contrary to what most people think, you do not need to know a zip code to get directions (leave it blank).  Also now you don't need to know the address, either. Just type in the name of where you're going and it will look it up and then you can click the one that looks most like where you're going.  I especially like doing this for airports because you never know the street address for most airports. 

  

I print out the directions, cut out the unnecessary parts (for instance, how to get from my house to the highway), and then tape the gravy to the center of my steering wheel.  I actually reset that variable portion of the odometer after every turn so that it's guiding me to the tenth of a mile and I can strictly follow the directions.  I'm able to find my way around any city using this method.  I like to call this my poor man's GPS system, but hey, if you're able to afford the real deal, go for it :-) 

  

I used to think I was dumb because I couldn't follow people's directions easily.  Now I just thank them for their help and get my own directions on Mapquest, anyway. 

 
January 3, 2006, 3:08 pm CST

01/02 New Year: Old Habits

I too, would like some help waking up in the morning.  I tried paying attention to the Dr. Phil show but there was a tornado in our area so they kept cutting off the show to cover the weather.  My favorite kind of self help is reading books as I can easily have them sent over to my local library via their website.  Any recommendations? 

  

Although I believe my "problems" are mostly behavioral, unfortunately I'm not yet feeling some of the suggestions so far.  I just don't have that strict, 100% regard for authority, I guess.  If they say I need to be at work by 8, I know the latest I can come in is maybe 8:15 and while I may look a little irresponsible, I'll still get my work done.  So instead of getting up at 6:30 I'll keep snoozing until I get up at maybe 7:10.  I'm mostly on time for non-work related appointments but I could be earlier.  Basically I'll keep cramming more and more activities into the time I should be getting ready, and before I know it, I'm late.  I still feel like I've done more by leaving later, and to tell you the truth, I feel worse when I go early and have to sit around doing nothing; compared to when I go late, apologize, don't even feel embarassed usually and get right to business.  However, this behavior is just plain wrong and I want to change.  I want a reason to change. 

  

Like the woman on the Dr. Phil show, my situation is also "why shouldn't I snooze more?"  I'm getting rewards for sleeping longer and I know it.  I just don't like what it does to my life.  I feel more confident when I show up at work earlier.  Don't feel like such a deadbeat and that just helps me perform better whether I know it or not. 

 
January 3, 2006, 6:45 pm CST

You can't organize clutter!

I discovered FlyLady several years ago and when I follow her advise , life is much more peaceful!  Check it out , it will change your life!  flylady.net  One of her greatest mottos is "You can do anything for 15 minutes."
 
January 4, 2006, 7:42 am CST

too many zzzs for me too

Quote From: janeir36

Mapquest.com is my absolute favorite for directions!  and contrary to what most people think, you do not need to know a zip code to get directions (leave it blank).  Also now you don't need to know the address, either. Just type in the name of where you're going and it will look it up and then you can click the one that looks most like where you're going.  I especially like doing this for airports because you never know the street address for most airports. 

  

I print out the directions, cut out the unnecessary parts (for instance, how to get from my house to the highway), and then tape the gravy to the center of my steering wheel.  I actually reset that variable portion of the odometer after every turn so that it's guiding me to the tenth of a mile and I can strictly follow the directions.  I'm able to find my way around any city using this method.  I like to call this my poor man's GPS system, but hey, if you're able to afford the real deal, go for it :-) 

  

I used to think I was dumb because I couldn't follow people's directions easily.  Now I just thank them for their help and get my own directions on Mapquest, anyway. 

I couldn't believe my ears as I watched Monday's show.  Here was someone with the same behavior as me!  My mother was the same way too.  Until now, I have never understood it.  I would hit the snooze button several times until I knew I absolutely had to get up.  Sometimes I would skip washing my hair and put my makeup on in the car.  I would tell myself the night before I was going to get up when the alarm went off and arrive at work on time.  My best friend tried for awhile to call me (long distance) and get me up but I would just go back to sleep.  My boyfriend even calls me most mornings on his break.  I still do not wake (get) up.  I remember my mother running around the house in the mornings like a crazy woman screaming that she was going to get fired.  A lot of times she would have my dad drive her to work so that she wouldn't have to find a parking space yelling at him the whole time that she was going to be late and fired.  I have often wondered, is it something that I inherited? My brother is very punctual.  I've been told by others that I must not have any respect for authority.  If I didn't have any respect for authority then why am I constantly worried that I will be fired?  I love my job and the people I work with so that isn't the problem.  I had the same problem when I worked a job that I hated.  I now realize that I am depressed and I make the choice to stay in bed to avoid facing my problems.  My mother was obviously depressed too.  Bless her heart.  At the young age of 69, she is in a nursing home after suffering a stroke in May of 2004.   It has been very difficult for the whole family.  But the bright side is it has brought my family closer together.  Especially to my father who faithfully visits my mother twice a day.  Thank you Dr. Phil for airing this segment on my day off!  I am making a sincere effort to make the "choice" to get my butt out of bed in the mornings and to be at work on time.
 
January 4, 2006, 5:38 pm CST

Ah, driving...

As a driving instructor of 16 years, I was a bit surprised with how Dr. Phil dealt with the sisters!  But then again, he is not a driving instructor.  I think as a first step what he did was great but reading some of the posts here confirms to me that they, the sisters, and lots of others need more than that.  I am actually a bit concerned about them.  That drive around the studio parking lot had the risk of giving them some false security.  I did however enjoy the look on Dr. Phil's face though! 

  

A lot of new drivers just have a fear of the unknown.  Some fear, also known as respect, for driving is not such a bad thing.  But if there is too much "unknown" the fear will take over.  Anticipation of a task can be worse than the task it self.  Knowledge is power, get the knowledge! 

  

Just because some one knows how to drive does not make them a good driving instructor.  With Dr. Phil's advice AND the help of a well trained driving instructor virtually anyone can drive well and with confidence. 

 
January 5, 2006, 11:10 am CST

Be aggressive

Quote From: astcgirl

I found your show Dr. Phil to be very inspirational...my New New Years Resolution is to Drive this year! I related so well with the girls that are afraid to drive, I also get all clammed up and start breathing fast when I imagine myself driving, i never thought to use positive affirmations to overcome this. I am 29 going on 30 and have 2 young children, my husband was deployed last year and even though last year I made the same resolution, I didn't stick to it because I didn't know how to start. Everyone just kept saying "You need to learn, I'll teach you" but that just made me more scared because I was afraid that they would laugh at me or that they would yell or that I'd crash and hurt someone. The only excuse I get away with is that I"m from Australia and that I always joke that driving is on the "wrong side" of the road here in America, but that only goes so far and everyone is sick of that excuse now. My husband is deploying again this year, and I so much want to surprise him by the time he gets back, I think I will try the positive affirmations but I wish that there were driving instructors suited more to the "Scared Adult" drivers, I know we're out there but it seems that when I looked up driving instructors it was all tailored to the teen driver, so I felt too embarrassed to go ahead with it. If anyone has overcome their fear of driving and has some other hints I would truly be thankful, Here's to a New Year and being able to drive to the airport to pick my husband up!!! I'll get back to you with my progress.... 

  

Thank You Dr. Phil for the start.... 

  

Regards,
Samantha 

There's nothing to it.  Just be aggressive behind the wheel.  As for myself, I'll fight anyone.  I don't care if he's a sleepy truckdriver or a self-absorbed soccer mom on the phone.  You get in my space, I'll make you wish you hadn't.  You flash your highbeams, I'll slow down.  You cut in my lane without signalling, I won't budge.  I may have a four-banger, but that doesn't mean I can't be arrogant. 

  

That's the attitude I think works best. 

 
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