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Topic : 01/02 New Year: Old Habits

Number of Replies: 66
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Created on : Wednesday, December 28, 2005, 12:01:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It's the start of a new year, and the perfect time to work on those pesky resolutions that you've been putting off for so long! Dr. Phil gives his guests a jump-start by helping them eliminate unwanted old habits. Rebecca and her sisters have an extreme fear of driving. They have to be chauffeured around by family and friends, and they're tired of being a burden on others. Find out what's behind their fears. Then, Gail thought she’d never be able to dig herself out from all the clutter in her home … until Dr. Phil gave her the surprise of a lifetime! Plus, meet a mom whose resolution is to get her family to pick up after themselves. She's so desperate that she started selling whatever they leave on the floor -- on eBay! Join the discussion.

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January 6, 2006, 6:08 am CST

And we wonder why there is road rage?

Quote From: jim1970

There's nothing to it.  Just be aggressive behind the wheel.  As for myself, I'll fight anyone.  I don't care if he's a sleepy truckdriver or a self-absorbed soccer mom on the phone.  You get in my space, I'll make you wish you hadn't.  You flash your highbeams, I'll slow down.  You cut in my lane without signalling, I won't budge.  I may have a four-banger, but that doesn't mean I can't be arrogant. 

  

That's the attitude I think works best. 

People make mistakes, aggressive drivers make many mistakes.  Think of how the roads would be if we all had the same aggression?  I have driven with hundreds of people (I'm an instructor) who, while complaining about another drivers mistake, were making the same or worse mistake themselves!  Do you ever forget your own signal?  Do you ever make driving mistakes?  Or are you perfect?   

  

Driving is a scary thing for a lot of people regardless of their age.    

 
January 7, 2006, 7:06 am CST

01/02 New Year: Old Habits

Quote From: jim1970

There's nothing to it.  Just be aggressive behind the wheel.  As for myself, I'll fight anyone.  I don't care if he's a sleepy truckdriver or a self-absorbed soccer mom on the phone.  You get in my space, I'll make you wish you hadn't.  You flash your highbeams, I'll slow down.  You cut in my lane without signalling, I won't budge.  I may have a four-banger, but that doesn't mean I can't be arrogant. 

  

That's the attitude I think works best. 

I don't think agressive driving is necessary, either.  Is teaching an aggressive driver a lesson really worth your life or safety? 

  

Instead I think the new drivers should just use your pointer and know that most drivers are kind, compassionate people like you and would share the road and help you get to your destination.  If the driving is really aggressive where you're at, either stay on a slower lane or have someone do the heavy lifting while you ease into the whole driving thing.  Have someone sit in the front seat with you while you drive on the highway, say at 6 AM on a Sunday morning.  Ask them any questions if you feel uncomfortable with anything.  For instance, I remember asking my sister, "isn't merging onto the highway tricky?"  She said there was nothing to it and although that wasn't a lot of information it just made me more comfortable. 

  

Also, read up your driver's licencing manual again.  It provides helpful hints on overtaking, who has the right of way, etc, that just made me feel safer and more confident as a driver.  Good luck! 

 
January 8, 2006, 6:33 pm CST

Really?

Quote From: jim1970

There's nothing to it.  Just be aggressive behind the wheel.  As for myself, I'll fight anyone.  I don't care if he's a sleepy truckdriver or a self-absorbed soccer mom on the phone.  You get in my space, I'll make you wish you hadn't.  You flash your highbeams, I'll slow down.  You cut in my lane without signalling, I won't budge.  I may have a four-banger, but that doesn't mean I can't be arrogant. 

  

That's the attitude I think works best. 

Are you sure you want to risk ruining your precious Plymouth Breeze?
 
January 9, 2006, 5:23 am CST

I think I should have been more specific

Well I haven't brought another bag to the Headstart depot yet, every night everything is still picked up.  However last night I realized I maybe should have been just a little more specific about where the things should go.  The deal was toys and other things needed to be picked up before they went to bed or I would take them away and send them off, well the things are picked up so I can't complain, but last night everything was put on their table in their room.  So instead of putting them away in their places they just put everything from the floor to the table, so I think tonight I will be more specific as to where the things need to be before they go to bed and not just picked up. 

  

still hopeful 

 
January 9, 2006, 8:37 am CST

01/02 New Year: Old Habits

Quote From: queentween

Now, no one is ever going to accuse me of being a neat freak, or overly organized. HOWEVER, after last years show where they presented the woman who really was in trouble over clutter, I said "That could be me" So, I purged and I purged and I sold, gave away, tossed, and folded. I got rid of clothing from the 80's (cool in its time, but spandex jumpsuits will not be in again- thank God) trinkets that I couldn't remember why I kept and a ton of other stuff. I gave away all of the baby things except for one outfit from each child that I particularly loved- new mommies need good cribs too! And every time I turned around, I lobbed another box out. Guess what? ITs taken about a year, but my house is in 1 hour clean. (I can clean within 1 hour i.e. vacuum, wipe surfaces, mop etc.) I found 2 extra rooms in the house. The laundry room isn't the Mt Everst of clothing anymore. I actually have time to paint with the kids and I know where the paint is and the bottles of paint are full. Yes, some days it looks like a bomb hit, but its a lot easier to clean when there is less to clean. (Plus, I really hate to clean)And it wasn't very fun, but its easier to get kids to preschool when you know where their shoes are, and I am more pleasant when I go to make a pot of coffee and there is coffee to use and filters there too! I wish the best of luck to everyone trying to get through the day! 

PS- I sort the kids toys into tubs per category i.e. cinderella, thomas, my little pony and we get out one tub at a time- The tubs fit under their beds and the shams cover the tubs. That is not to say that their rooms are perfect- just not hazardous.I have great kids! 

I know how you feel, after the separation we meaning me and the kids had to move in a two bedroom appartment.  So we had two houses and a garage full of stuff to bring with us.  My home can look like a bomb hit to some days.  My mom or dad will come over to drop something off or something and some days I just don't feel like cleaning until the boys are in bed,   my dad once just looked awed when he tried coming in the kitchen to bring some milk.  My mom will actually make up reasons to come visit to see if I want help.  Although I have explained to them, I prefer cleaning when they sleep they still think I just don't clean. 

The boys have been picking up nightly now for weeks I believe, not exactly sure on the date but they do.  I bought shelves with fabric cubes to put things in and their big toys like huge dinosaurs and remote control cars go on the shelves or on the table in their room.  Their millions of cars go in a toy box just for that. 

I think they get my lack of wanting to clean because they don't see me do it.  Although they wake in the morning and everything is nice.  The reason I did begin this whole pick up the things or they go, is because my son fell one night out of his bed and hurt his back because he landed on his truck, and it left a mark for several days. 

 
January 9, 2006, 8:10 pm CST

Agree

Quote From: cowgirl_k

1) Though I love Dr. Phil dearly, I felt he was not fully investingating why his guest today might be hitting her alarm clock and going back to sleep.  Her morning fatigue/extreme sleepiness could easily be a sleep related problem and not her laziness.  It sounds that she may not have restful sleep (multitude of reasons) and should be treated by a sleep specialist.  I've had difficulty waking since I can remember (like her) and have discovered that I have sleep apnea.  "Sleep Clinic doctors" can help diagnose if there is a problem and provide alternatives for her to improve her sleep.  I went from dragging out of bed (multiple snoozes too) tand now no longer require an alarm clock!  Hope this suggestion finds your guest!! 

  

2) Unrelated, I'm 37 now but as a teen my Dad took away my bed after having to remind me to make it daily.  I slept in a sleeping bag on the floor for a couple weeks.  And now I always make my bed.  Keep up the good work on training kids to respect the household rules, their parents, and their belongings!! 

I agree Dr. Phil did not fully investigate but I was glad to hear that information that day.  I normally don't get to watch TV that time of day as I am usually at work.  However I might not be employyed soon and I might get fired because I am always late.  I also have been late for everything my entire life except for the occasional trip to Disney.  This is what makes me agree with the part about avoidance but I have slept through the alarm and have been able to fall asleep easly except for recently for all of my life, it is the ingoing joke in my family.  I am very thankful to hear of this issue on the show and hear from everyone on the board regarding this issue.  I now know of some avenues to check on and that I am not just lazy.
 
January 13, 2006, 6:50 am CST

hair pulling habit

hi everyone, 

I really need your help on my 15 year old habit. I am a 28 year old woman but have been pulling my hair out since I was 13.  I have had only 3 hair cut during the last 15 years because I am so embarrassed to be exposed with empty spots on my scalp.  I alway have to wear hat wherever I go. I shaved my head  3 months ago trying to change my bad habit, but it didn't work. I am still pulling my hair out.   I look terrible.  

  

I desperately need help.  I want my own natural hair in full.  Please please help me.  

 
January 18, 2006, 4:06 pm CST

Should I tell?

Being a New Year and all, I'm trying to get my life in order and start anew for the umpteenth time.  One issue that has been bugging me and cropping up in my dreams is an unresolved issue with my mother, who passed away a few years ago..  I was sexually abused as a child by a family friend and never confronted anyone about it.  Later when I was an older teenager and it was over I told my parents about it but not to any detail.  My mother did not respond like I needed her to.  It was as if she didn't want to know and definitely didn't want to talk about.  In 2001 I confronted the abuser and felt a little better although he denied any impropriety of course.  But this issue has never been resolved for me.  My question is now, do I tell his family?  the authorities?  is there a statute of limitations on this?  Where does my responsibility lie?  Any opinions would be appreciated.  Will this put my demons to rest?
 
January 18, 2006, 8:55 pm CST

Trouble Waking Up

With regards to hitting the snooze button repeatedly in the morning.... this is a real problem for me too.  I was actually looking forward to this segment of the program, hoping that Dr. Phil would offer some better advise, other than being lazy.  I have the same alarm clock called the "Screamin' Meanie" that was shown on the program, (110 decibals). Believe it or not.... I sleep so soundly that I will sleep through that alarm (as well as a regular alarm with music set full blast) for more than ten  minutes before shutting it off.  I quite often will shut it off and don't remember doing it.  I have had the neighbour who lives about 100 feet down the road call me on the phone to get me to shut my alarms off because he could hear them in his house.  This is not laziness..... this is trying to wake the dead.  One time, in my early 20's I worked a midnight shift.... therefore sleeping through the day, and there was a fire in the apartment below mine and I didn't hear the fire alarm that had been going off for over an hour.  The only reason they knew I was sleeping in the building was my roommate convinced the firemen to check our apartment, knowing that I was such a sound sleeper and wouldn't hear the alarm.  Sure enough.... I was sound asleep. 

  

I have often wondered if my sound sleeping was caused by my parents when I was a child.  My parents were not the type to tip-toe around the house just because the kids were asleep.  This was their time to enjoy or do things they couldn't do while we were awake, so that is is when they would listen to loud music or vacuum (right under my crib), therefore forcing me to sleep soundly. Also,  I often wonder if the fact that I never had any children of my own, my sleeping habits never changed.  Many mothers say they sleep much lighter after having kids. 

  

I have spoke to my Doctor about this "problem" to see if perhaps I needed to go to a sleep clinic.  He kind of got a chuckle out of it and said that he had never had anyone ask about sleeping too soundly.... it's usually not sleeping well enough.  His suggestion to me was to perhaps set up a bright light on a timer that would shine into my face in the morning.   I would love to get my hands on the device Dr. Phil gave everyone on the show..... just to see what my sleep patterns are. 

  

I know this is a little long winded, but I can so relate to what was being discussed, but I just don't feel being lazy is the full extent of my problem.  I get a good night's sleep.... most people do when then go into a coma! 

 
January 20, 2006, 3:07 pm CST

Still working

The boys are really doing a great job keeping their end of the bargain.  No more toys have left the house except for those they wanted to donate.
 
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