Topic : 01/03 Love Resolutions

Dear Depressed in S.C. 

I too have been abused for many years and I can truly empathize with your situation.  I just want to give you a bit of hope.  I don't know if you pray but I know that my life brought me down to my knees and I have come to know that God does answer prayers.   

Your ex-husband may have money, another woman....But don't think for one moment that he will get away with all that he has done to you.  God does not like his tender daughters hurt by anyone especially by their spouses.  Leave it all in God's hands and work on yourself. 

You have the power within yourself to fight depression.  Personally, I needed to go to a psychologist.  She has been wonderful.  I am now healed and although I am very cautious I am free to love again and I have my psychologist helping me weed possible prospects.  I too have alot of fear and sometimes I am ready to run from situations due to my past and she is able to help me see when it is me.  All to say, that with the right guidance and support and your own will power and prayers...YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO IN LIFE.  Please don't give up on yourself or life.  If I have healed to this point, SO CAN YOU. 

I'd reflect on what happened on my part to cause the relationship to break apart and I'd seriously think about getting some marital counciling if you are both commited to making this relationship better. You have to be aware of what has to be fixed.  

How you communicate is just as important as whether or not you communicate.  I know one thing I've had to work on in my marriage is not treating and speaking my husband as a child. I started to speak to him a friend, and that made a big difference in how he would respond to me.  

Good luck!! 

It is early in the morning and I have had trouble sleeping for the last 7 days because the woman that I fell in love with 15 yrs ago left me again. The first she was seperated from her husband and we met and fell in love it was like we were soul mates, but as we talked I found out that she could not have kids and I wanted a child so we broke up, it was heart felt and it hurt for both of us.

We both knew it was the right thing at the right time. I called every 2 or 3 years to see how she was doing and if everything was ok. During that period she did divorce her husband and met another guy, on his be half was great from what she said but it was one of those non whole hearted it was great.

About 3 months ago I get a call from Linda, and she asks if I was single and did not do the drugs, alcohol or was abusive? I told Linda I never have and never will be she said good, because I need some one like that in my life I said I have waited for 13 years to be with you, there has never been any one including my ex-wife who I had a child with that could ever take the love and spirit and soul I had with you.

Linda and I spent the thanksgiving, christmas and new years holiday together. I supported her with the restraining order to keep the ex-boyfriend away. I let her know I was going to come and move in with her and leave my job and move 300 miles to be with her and we could make a life, we never argued unless it dealt with her ex calling and trying to get her back by saying it was because of her and everything in his life that he turned to drugs and alcohol and being abusive.

I love Linda with all my heart and soul she is a very big part of my life and I trued to understand that she needed to talk to him to get the past closed.

Linda likes your show and says Dr Phil says in a relationship you give a 100%, which I did and she did, every one in both our families think we go great together and we she be together, as much as I do.

So it was devistating when she said one day out of the blue with out warning that she needed time to think and needed her space because her ex just had clled and wanted to talk to her about his life, I warned her what he was going to do about the sympathy and poor me, I need you to try and make up for the 11 yrs you did not understand.

Two days later Linda calls me and says she is going back to ex, which is killing me I love this lady and I can not stand not being without her and she feeels the same way she is just with the ex because she has the Florence Nightengale image she feels she can fix him of doing the drugs, drinking and be abusive.

Her son, who I get along with does not even want to go over ther anymore, because of it but the daughter who liked the ex is now coming back over, so she tradr one child for another. Linda's family contacted me the other day and asked if I had heard from Linda and I said the last time she was having a nervous break down because she knew she made a mistake by gong back and that she had lost her family and friend on both mine and her side, she is like an island out there the same as her daughter was because no one really thought highly of her daughters boyfriend or Linda's ex. They were like two peas in a pod and heading down the wrong path.

I love Linda it is so obvious, and I want to help her not just for me but for her she is a very giving and caring lady and very beautiful to me I adore her, but she is killing me being with someone that is using her and I cannot stand to lose her again, please help I am not one to ask for help and neither is Linda, but I need to, I am at my wits end.

It is early in the morning and I have had trouble sleeping for the last 7 days because the woman that I fell in love with 15 yrs ago left me again. The first she was seperated from her husband and we met and fell in love it was like we were soul mates, but as we talked I found out that she could not have kids and I wanted a child so we broke up, it was heart felt and it hurt for both of us.

We both knew it was the right thing at the right time. I called every 2 or 3 years to see how she was doing and if everything was ok. During that period she did divorce her husband and met another guy, on his be half was great from what she said but it was one of those non whole hearted it was great.

About 3 months ago I get a call from Linda, and she asks if I was single and did not do the drugs, alcohol or was abusive? I told Linda I never have and never will be she said good, because I need some one like that in my life I said I have waited for 13 years to be with you, there has never been any one including my ex-wife who I had a child with that could ever take the love and spirit and soul I had with you.

Linda and I spent the thanksgiving, christmas and new years holiday together. I supported her with the restraining order to keep the ex-boyfriend away. I let her know I was going to come and move in with her and leave my job and move 300 miles to be with her and we could make a life, we never argued unless it dealt with her ex calling and trying to get her back by saying it was because of her and everything in his life that he turned to drugs and alcohol and being abusive.

I love Linda with all my heart and soul she is a very big part of my life and I trued to understand that she needed to talk to him to get the past closed.

Linda likes your show and says Dr Phil says in a relationship you give a 100%, which I did and she did, every one in both our families think we go great together and we she be together, as much as I do.

So it was devistating when she said one day out of the blue with out warning that she needed time to think and needed her space because her ex just had clled and wanted to talk to her about his life, I warned her what he was going to do about the sympathy and poor me, I need you to try and make up for the 11 yrs you did not understand.

Two days later Linda calls me and says she is going back to ex, which is killing me I love this lady and I can not stand not being without her and she feeels the same way she is just with the ex because she has the Florence Nightengale image she feels she can fix him of doing the drugs, drinking and be abusive.

Her son, who I get along with does not even want to go over ther anymore, because of it but the daughter who liked the ex is now coming back over, so she tradr one child for another. Linda's family contacted me the other day and asked if I had heard from Linda and I said the last time she was having a nervous break down because she knew she made a mistake by gong back and that she had lost her family and friend on both mine and her side, she is like an island out there the same as her daughter was because no one really thought highly of her daughters boyfriend or Linda's ex. They were like two peas in a pod and heading down the wrong path.

I love Linda it is so obvious, and I want to help her not just for me but for her she is a very giving and caring lady and very beautiful to me I adore her, but she is killing me being with someone that is using her and I cannot stand to lose her again, please help I am not one to ask for help and neither is Linda, but I need to, I am at my wits end.