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Topic : 01/06 No More Excuses With Star Jones

Number of Replies: 64
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Wednesday, December 28, 2005, 12:07:25 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Do you know someone who has every excuse in the book for why they can't get it together? Along with Star Jones Reynolds from The View, Dr. Phil challenges his guests to take charge of their lives. Marchelle says her life has been a rollercoaster ride for the last 18 years. She studies Dr. Phil's advice but can’t seem to get it quite right. Find out what Dr. Phil has in store for her. Then, Deann refuses to be in a relationship until she has zero debt. She says she has a lot of great qualities, but her finances are making her unattractive. Plus, Chris says her macho military look scares men away. Her daily attire is fit for the battlefield: baggy clothes, no makeup and she doesn’t do her hair. Dr. Phil uncovers what's really keeping her from dating. Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

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January 6, 2006, 3:15 pm CST

Sometimes things just are- excuses or not

    I am so tired of seeing a pretty girl wearing sweats made over suddenly into a pretty girl wearing a skirt.  Sure, they put on some makeup, did her hair, and dressed her in feminine clothes.  So what?  She was pretty before.  There are some people, and I include myself among them, that are just plain ugly and nothing is going to help.  I'll never date again, never get remarried, and that's just life.  Shows like these seem to generate unreal expectations.   

    An ugly man can become rich or powerful and women will look past the exterior and find him attractive.  Men  don't care how honest or truthful a woman is, how kind or successful, it's all about 

the pretty face and body.  It's just the way it is.  I wish  

 
January 6, 2006, 3:24 pm CST

really enjoyed todays show

Todays' show was great. People should not feel like victims in their own life. Yea, we all have our crosses too bare but Dr. Phil showed us today of people who have empowered themselves and not let the world empower them. Vistims you should not be thanks Dr. phil for another great show!!!
 
January 6, 2006, 5:24 pm CST

Be happy with what you have

    This is to Michel, the lady that was on your show today,  Be greatful that you were not in your house when it burned. Material things can be replaced but lives can't. 

     The reason I was so frustrated, is 30 years ago  this month we had a house fire. The difference was  we lost our oldest son ,8 years old , and our youngest daughter 2 years old. We got our other two children 4 and 6 years out . Lost was our house and all of our posesions. { whitch means nothing comparied to a life} 

      My wife and I were in the hosptial for 31 days ,my son was in for 18 days and my other daughter was in just overnight.  We couldn't even go to our chidrens fureral, because of our burns.  

        You say WHY take my kids, take ME. I guess we never know why that GOD take some and leaves others. 

         Just look around when you think that you have it so BAD. You don't have to look very far to see just how lucky you are . 

         About a week or so after I got out of the hosptial, there was another house fire in a town about 10 miles away from us. This couple lost there home and all of there children. I went to see the couple to try to comfort them , since I had lost my own children I felt that maybe I could comfort them some. 

       So when you think that you have had such bad luck , just look around you and see how lucky you are. 

                           Just my 2 cents from Malone, N.Y. 

                                Patrick 

  

                                                                     

 
January 6, 2006, 5:46 pm CST

your not alone

Quote From: reallylost

I just don't care anymore. Call it an excuse if you want.  

I am not going to run down the list of rotten things that have happened in my life.  

I just lost my husband to suicide. I have no desire to even want to try anymore.  

I am emotionally exhausted. There is no one to help and I don't care enough to help myself.  

I have reached out for help & run into brickwalls.  

If I don't care there's no reason why anyone else should. 

I know exactly how you feel!  Although I haven't lost my partner yet to suicide, it's bound to happen.  I lost him to drugs.  Our lives have totally fallen apart.  It's been going on for years and I do not have the emotional, physical or spiritual strenth to move on.   I have tried to reach out for help and have also only run into brick walls.  I am unemployed, and there is no way I could work a full time job.  I suffer from Chronic Fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia and of course depression and on & on.  So, I have no health insurance, no money and no where to go.  I don't even have any friends left.  I don't even want to be around anyone.   I have read so many self-help books, health books, spiritual books, you name it -- I've probably read it, but I'm still totally stuck. I've writted to Dr. Phil and Oprah and I've prayed a lot too.  There seems to be no where left to turn--except ending it.  I'm truly sorry for your loss.  I have also lost a husband and both my parents many years ago.  I was devasted.  I didn't think I could go on. I know that when someone very close to you dies, it seems like the pain will never end.  I can tell you that it does though.  It just takes time, and when your in the pain -- I know it's hard to hear that.  So in your case, please hold on!  It truly will get better.  Someone does care! 
 
January 6, 2006, 6:19 pm CST

Dr Phil Show.

Doctor Jones Phil Star. I think that you a great job on these guests on Doctor Phil Show this Friday- 

Afternoon and hope that next time maybe you be coming to Colorado with in a year. Doctor Phil------ 

I think that your show is good and outstanding aswell. See you next week. Friends yours. Russell-- 

 

 
January 6, 2006, 7:40 pm CST

HEY NOW!

Phil's advice is just as wonderful on a Black and White, UHF antenna, 13" screen television set with a clickety knob to choose channels! 

  

O yes, I actually have to WALK ACROSS THE ROOM to change channels!  :) 

 
January 6, 2006, 7:44 pm CST

I use excuses in 2 cases

I use excuses in 2 cases one is when i was 12 and my father died in a car accident when he was drinking and driving, 2 is when I was 9 and i was molested by a cousin.  I believe these 2 things hold me back some time on things.  I listen to Dr. Phils advice to the ladies today, but this is one time when I didn't feel like Dr. Phil was speaking to me, and most times when his shows talk about things that are revalent to my life I feel like he is speaking to me and he has helped me in so many ways, and I have never met the man.  I hope to someday, bcz to be honest I think he is the only one who can get me past these 2 things in my early life.  I do lead a productive life, but there are days when i can't get out of bed.  I do have some mental disorders and some of them are from my childhood.  So I guess some day I hope to have Dr. Phil take me on and set me straight, cuz i think he is the only one who can tell me like it is and get thru to me and help me find a way to let go and forgive.
 
January 6, 2006, 8:36 pm CST

Over all. . .

Except for breathing, digestion, etc., ALL behaviors are a choice. 

  

  

The makeover given to Chris was the all time, talk show, epitome of "looking attractive" as opposed to "looking sexy."  She is light-years away from from selling her body. 

  

  

Women want men, they don't need men. 

  

  

Today's show didn't sit well with me because the guests were yet another set of well-off, accomplished women who behave like they've never even heard of Phil.  Frankly, the response from audience members as the cameras panned, was very lack-luster. 

  

  

On "The View," I am a fan of Star, but not in any other setting.  It's easy to to be pleased when you look upon the world with "20/20 hindsight" from the vantage point of "Park Avenue." 

 
January 6, 2006, 9:35 pm CST

Keep trying:)

Quote From: dan62301

Xtremeairy,   

  

  It goes a bit deeper than that, but your reply was most appreciated and more than welcomed! I'm touched that someone would take the time to pay attention to something I said! I had a mother growing up, no father... not even a steady father figure. I wrote Dr Phil a letter that got into a fair amount of detail, or enough I would think it would spark an interest. We'll see. 

  The thing is, is that she was more like an aquaintance than a mother. We saw more of the mail man than we did her. I'ld hate to think about it, but she may very well have seen the mail man more than us. Am I deliberately being disrespectful, no. Am I attempting to paint you a picture with as much of a realistic image as I am able so you can better see and understand my sincere concerns, yes. 

  Imagine if you will... 3 young children not of legal age to be left alone, but were in fact alone while their mother pranced around town, had her fun, refused to accept any type of responsibility, enjoying life as much as she could, never telling her children where she would be, what she would be doing or who she would be with. Keep in mind, you are a young influencial child, and you see almost on a daily basis, a different adult male come in and out of your life and home sometimes never to be seen but maybe once or twice. Also envision this... as you ate your hotdogs, grilled cheese and powdered milk... yes, powdered milk! I dont ever suggest you try it, dear GOD that's some nasty stuff! Havent had it in years and I can still taste it! 

  Okay, so I'm back from my visit with my trusty mouthwash, where was I? Oh yeah, hand-me-down clothes and 'momma knows best' haircuts. I can honestly say I have no pleasant memories as a child except with my grandparents. And if there was anything possitive, I cannot for the life of me remember. I realize I've blocked out at least 1 third of my life. I'm 30! That's a lot of life! :O  As a child, try watching your mother dine out and bring home gifts and things. Nothing really fancy, but gifts none the less. Listen as she talks to her guy friends on the phone... wondering if she is ever going to mention you, pondering the thought of having a dad that will teach you about the birds and the bees and not accidentally show you as he and your mother do their thing on the kitchen counter where just 2 hours prior, you made a peanut butter and jelly snadwich! Not to mention you hear your mother on the phone with these numorous guys telling stories of this and that, and in her very next breath, answering the phone only to tell a completely differnet story. Now you are old enough to know that 2 different stories just dont make sense, bringing you to the conclusion that the one guy mom drove off with yesterday in the rusty 73 Mustang, wont be back to get to know you. I can be an optomist and say during this time in my life, I got to know the make and model of vehicles well! Hell, when friends and I, and I didnt have many, would cruise around when I was only 13, I was designated as the guy to watch for cop headlights from afar, I knew cars so well.  

  I can be an optomist and say that by listrening to my mother deceive men, I knew how to talk to people and tell them what they wanted to hear to get what I wanted. But that is easily countered by half a brain and 5 minutes of spare time, so that wasn't going to make my entrepreneurial debut. Lets get back into character here. Ok. so now your mother has met and decided to keep one guy around for awhile. This guy from the very start doesnt like the fact your mother has children. Wow... what are you going to do about this? Nothing! You are a stupid, good for nothing, worthless setback in your mothers life, so you are going to lay low and pray this huge guy doesnt decide he wants to eat you instead of that steak on his dinner plate. Hmmm... something is missing from this picture I'm trying to paint for you. Ah ha! Got it! You are eating your hotdog and mac'n cheese while he and your mother have steaks. That's better, now we have us a picture! So time goes by and this guy is still around. Over this time, he has laid the law down, and degraded you and your mother to no end. So now all you see yourself as is a burden and basically a waste of perfectly good oxygen. I'll give you an example to better explain just how scared you are of your mothers main sqeeze. You fall asleep on the livingroom floor as you watch The Cosby Show on evening cable TV. You are woke up by a man screaming for you to get your lazy ass up and go to bed. But before you can comprehend what this man is saying, all you hear is his terrifying voice and begin to pick up your mess on the carpet only to find there is no mess. You are picking lint out of the crevesses of the carpet to make it look like you are doing something productive. I reread what I just wrote to see if we are getting a correct picture here and not even close. It's all I can think of to explain the fear we had as children of this man. I'll leave that subject with this... nothing you can type here will come close to explaining the emotion and panic my brothers and I felt when this man woke us up at any given time, because we were smart enough to know... if someone doesnt want to have anything to do with you, they arent about to wake you up unless they are going to b*tch at you for something. 

  Lets throw some splashes of texture and color into this painting. Lets give it a little more character! Add mental and physical abuse on a regular basis. Throw in, working hard late into the night at his apartments buildings to make him look less like a slum-lord... and maybe those gorgeous girls jeans you had to wear 1 day a week in the 6th grade, that had the embroidered rose on the pocket. Lets not forget to give this painting some attitude! Your inability to allow anyone to get close to you, and the fact that you've had numorous relationships and known many women in your life, and still alone should fill the void in this painting well. We can add in the loss of one brother, a father of 2 and husband of one at age 20, to suicide and another brother institutionalized due to his lack of structure in life who also has numorous children at a young age. Are we missing any other key highlights in this painting? Sure! Your self destructive state of mind restricts you from succeeding with your business any further than you believe you can, and that's not saying much. I dont know about you, but this painting needs a little more possitve in it. it's just looking so gloomy! How about we paint some pride that you didnt make it a habbit to break the law and end up in trouble all the time and splash it with a little more pride in knowing you chose routes you were sure would lead you away from the gloomy areas of this painting so you would stick out and make a difference. Lets not fool ourselves. In all structure of life, whether it be this painting,  the spirit of a child or even the structure of a poorly written forum post with misused words and horrid spelling, it requires a strong foundation. A foundation used to build something with meaning. You are a part of this painting. You may preceive yourself as the brighter side of the painting, but when the paint hardens, you become one with the it and there's nothing you can do about it. Good thing this is water based paint!!! Because I'm looking to Dr Phil to douse me with water and break some of this gloom up! 

  I'm not sure if getting into any more detail is such a good idea being as how these forums are so public, but I'm bound to get Dr. Phils attention one way or another. However, before you get out of character, remember this.... what you've read,... what you've envisioned,... as you see' through my words of experience and place yourself into this childs shoes... know this; those are moments amongst many... a "chip off the old block", which is why I find myself here with sincere concern. 

  

P.S. Any correction by anyone pertaining to my spelling, punctuation, and/or misuse of wording / jumping from 3rd person to 1st, will completely destroy any hope I had of anyone understanding how this child became half the man he should be today. :P 

  

P.P.S. In Search Of: an editor / publisher willing to give this book a shot! Think it'll sell? *laughs* I have more!!! 

Hi, I just wanted to write and say to you.........Things are tough and you have had it tough. I am sorry you had to go through that and continue to struggle. Seems to me you have turned out to be a better person than your mom. That's a good thing:) I too had a rough childhood with the fact of having to take my father to court and making myself a ward of the court to get some food to eat, and a place to stay from a foster home that took me in. If I wouldn't have done this, I would not be here today. The rate I was going I would have been six feet under. I feel my life is now a good one and I know I will never repeat the actions of the people who tried to raise me. ( They did what they knew how for the times.) 

Sounds like you have tired to have a successful life too. Please stay positive and know that things can and will turn around for you. There are a couple of books that have been written by a man named Dave Pelzer; regarding his life.. There are very hard to read~emotionally~ but  worth the read in knowing your not alone and that people can over come their past. I know you will succeed in your life and business hang in there! Be thinking about you. 

 
January 7, 2006, 2:20 am CST

My drama filled life

Your show on excuses really touched home with me. ..expecially the woman who wanted to move from her burned-down property because of all of the bad memories.  I am stuck in my situation trying to figure out if I should move out of my memory filled home with my 5 kids in March(that's when my lease is up).  The reason I question moving is due to the bad experience of domestic violence brought upon me from my kids father.  My home is visibly damaged due to his outburst.  Even though he's no longer here I'm stuck staring at the messed up door and mirror that he broke.(There's a huge closet custom made mirror he damaged in my diningroom).  Knowing that I allowed him to treat me crappy for 5 years and it's partly my fault doesn't help either. 

  

What really hurts is that I just gave birth 8 weeks ago to twins and we're broken up now.  I suspected him of child molestation on one of my twin daughters when I awoke one night to find her pajamas off.  Since I didn't physically see him do anything it was hard for me to accuse him.  But his behavior about it all made me believe that he did do something to her.  He became defensive and nervous even before I accused him of anything.  Then he began to say that I never even dressed her which was a complete lie.  He out of my life now because I have a restraining order against him for past physical abuse.  Still I regret putting up with him for 5 years.  I feel like a victim because I put up with him for so long.  I allowed him to do these things to me because I didn't want to go against him and cause anymore fights.  But my suspicions about him doing something to our daughter cannot be ignored.  Dr. Phil, just how do I move on from feeling like a victim due to my long history of domestic abuse?  How can I picture myself as desireable and not just damaged goods with 5 kids?  I want to be happy for once.  When I was with him, I would forgive him but then he would do the same thing to me to hurt me again and then I would remember the hurt all over again.  He said that's why he left me because I wouldn't forgive him for abusing me.  But when I would he would just abuse me more.  I'm really distressed and confused.  PLEASE HELP ME DR. PHIL! 

 
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