I was unable to watch the show, but wish I had. All the previews seem to mock my current situation with my ex and his "new" spouse. Long story short- because I really think only a professional therapist could sort through it all - We divorced in early 2000 at which time I was given sole custody of the children and he was given very liberal visitations - 1st, 3rd, and 5th, weekend of each month, every other major holiday, 6 weeks during summer, father's day, time on each child's birthday, and every spring break. For the first year, he showed up for visitations and paid child support. But then he moved a state away and visitations became less frequent as well as child support. They went from every other weekend to only major holidays, spring break, and 6 weeks during summer. Child support began not being paid as regularly. I will add that even though the court order says he was to reimburse me for the Medical Insurance I paid for the children as additional child support, he NEVER has reimbursed me any part of it. He has refused to do this- even though it is court ordered. This went on for a short time- less than 1 year, when visitations changed again, only showing for summer visitation and Christmas. There were occassional phone calls between these visits, but most phone calls were threats of bodily harm to be brought against me or my new spouse or instructions to the kids such as "Tell your mama I let you ride your bike in the street at my house, why can't she let you rider your bike in the street at her house", etc..... These things happened over a 2 year period. Then he finds himself divorced again.. now visitations have stopped. The last visitation he exercised was 3 years ago when he took his two young girls - ages 9 and 7 to court with him where he was facing criminal charges in another state. Needless to say, the children were very upset when they heard a judge order him to jail. That visitation took me a total of 10 days to locate my children and return them home. He refused to let me know where they were at or who had them when my lawyer went to speak to him in jail. He has not attempted visitation since that time. The children call him when they want to talk to him, but he is no longer allowed to call our residence because of the verbal threats and I should add... phone calls at 3 in the morning telling us how much Jesus loves us and if we hang up they will call back. Recently he remarries and has now decided to announce to the children he and his new wife will be picking them up this summer and can't wait to have them. The children have never met his new wife, only seen some pictures of her on the internet - some of them very objectionable- and has never met any of the new step children they will be forced to live with for 6 weeks. Their new step mother has taken to the internet in posting what she believes is my "Character Flaws" every chance she gets. She will post lost of negative things about me and put a link from my ex and her's web page to locate such post. Her recent post are about how I do not allow my ex to see or speak to his children. The truth is he has not shown up in 3 years.... They are aware the children view their page, so she is in essence making sure the children know how they feel about me. I should add, their father's post on his member id reads: "You have to kiss alot of Ugly frogs before you will finally find your princess". The children read this and asked if he was calling me an Ugly frog???????? How do you respond to such things.
I too am concerned with a lot of things regarding my children visiting their father after such a period of absence and since the last time he had them, he placed them not in a dangerous situation, but in a situation that he had to have known would cause them considerable anguish and anxiety. No child should be brought to court to watch their father get convicted of failing to pay child support for children he had from another marriage. After all, the children of the other marriage are my children's half brother and half sister. They know each other. In addition to this, he is now subjecting them to the new "famliy" as they have put it. The new step mother feels she has the right to speak up and dictate how things should go with my ex husband and myself. I feel she doesn't. I have not met this woman, only talked with her 2 times in 3 years by phone and both of those times, she resorted to calling me vial names. She does not know me, does not know my children, and only knows what she is being told by others who were not in our household at the time of my marriage to my ex to know what was going on. If you are wondering how they found out about the new marriage- they learned of it from the Internet!!!! You get to see pictures of the happy couple, with the new children and the mother in law. There is even one picture the caption reads " The Whole Family".(it's a picture of my ex,his new wife, her children, and her mother).... only problem, our two children were never included as part of that family from the beginning and are now feeling like they were left out and are not "part of" the new family.
I have told my children that if they do go this summer, they are to respect her as their step mother. They may call her by whatever name makes them feel comfortable. They will be expected to follow the rules of the house of their father and step mother. The kids are interested in meeting the new step children but have reservations about their dad and step mother. Both have stated they don't want to go for the full 6 weeks. Both have asked if they can go to court to speak to a judge because they have friends who have told them they can speak to a judge about what they want.
During the last 3 years of missed visits, the girls have became involved in activities such as Girl Scouts, baseball, chorus at school, band, and one of them has recently been accepted into a program that prepares them for College and will reward them upon graduation from high school by providing much needed money to apply toward College tuition as well as seeks other scholarship money to assist with College tuition. The program has mandtory attendances as well as mandatory calls to their mentor weekly. I have recently attempted to talk with their father regarding this but he has stated he is unwilling to bring her to the required attendances during his visitation period. Before I could say anything else, he hung up on me. I realize he does live some 1300 miels away currently, but he is also unwilling to modify his visitation schedule to accomodate her. She is worried she will be forced out of the program by missing a required attendance of required phone call when she is with her father.
I dont feel that if a parent willlingly drops out of their children's lives for a long period of time and then wants to "rejoin" those lives that the children should have to alter their lives to accomodate the parent. Although I feel it is important for him to be a part of their lives, I think he needs to be more of an adult and realize his children have begun a life without him due to his actions. They have found a way to fill those weekends when he didn't show up. He should respect them and find a more productive way to reestablish his relationship with his children - slowly- than to just reintroudce them to himself and his new family. People change over time. Asking two pre teen kids to readjust to a parent they havn't seen in 3 years and at the same time, adjust to a new step mother, step children, and step grandmother who they have never met is asking alot of children.
This has wound up being longer than I wanted... but one final note... The new step mother never spoke a word until I attempted to enforce the child support order after it was more than $20,000.00 in arrears.. and that was just basic support - that figure did not include the reimbursement of medical insurance. Since my attempts two years ago.. she has become an avid vocalist for my ex spouse.
(Original Air Date: 01/09/06) If you’re getting a divorce, or even considering one, and you have kids, don't miss this show! Dr. Phil talks to parents who are embroiled in bitter custody battles, leaving their innocent children caught in the crossfire. Scott is tired of fighting with his ex-wife, Tiffany, over visitation of their two sons. The bickering has gotten so bad that Tiffany claims Scott spit on her during a recent encounter. Can they learn to respect each other for the sake of their kids? Plus, Angela says her ex-husband, Chris's violent past and brushes with the law have her so scared that she refuses to let him near their 7-year-old daughter. Does a man with Chris’s past deserve a second chance to be a father? Share your thoughts.
