Topic : 03/23 Nasty Custody Battles

Addicts have  there system ,  messed up..  Is ice(Glass)    Slang for Crystal... still coming out of his system.. ?   Usually takes, 3 months-2 yrs to get out of system 

Alki`s  rubbing alcohol,purfume, absorbs thru the skin...  

They react.. to the smell.Touch, and you get the lymph nodes for the brain.  Will react.. 

I have an old joke..  There are 4 brains for sale..    A Engineer brain was 100K, a lawyers brain was 200K, A scientist brain was 600K.   JohnK3493  Was 5 miilion..  Do you know why JohnK3493 was so much..      never been Used...  

I agree totally.  I was astonished that she would act like that on camera.  Even after, on the show, she wanted to justify her behaviour.  She should have been heartily ashamed of herself.   

Those poor children! 

Tiffany, Scott/Kimmy... please read this: 

I wonder if anyone has considered that these boys have learned, at a very young age, to manipulate their parents against each other?  Since the line of communication has broken down so much, it stands to reason (or at least to entertain the idea) that the boys will take advantage of this situation.  As far as I have read on the boards nobody has brought up the possibility that the youngest boy who Tiffany claims Kimmy slapped told his mother that Kimmy slapped him because he was upset at Kimmy or to simply please his mom?  Either way it is disturbing that one parent can make such an allegation on national tv without talking with the children about it.  It seems to me that even though some may find it harmful to bring the son into such a conversation, it needs to be discovered if one of the women is lying or is the child lying.  That type of behavior needs to be stopped before it gets worse if it is the child.  (and the adults!) 

As Dr. Phil has noted on many shows before... kids will manipulate these situations for their benefit.  This is a perfect example of just one of the reasons there needs to be an open line of communication between the parents.   

And for goodness sakes, if you can't speak civily to each other then put it in writing!!  Kimmy stated that Tiffany refuses to correspond via email... my question is why?  If Tiffany is claiming that Kimmy is calling her names and Scott is spitting on her, then why wouldn't you want to correspond through email.  It's fast, and it saves each of you frustration of being heard.. you can say it in email.. and the added benefit is that the kids won't witness arguments!  And you may actually start talking after some time and good communication through emails happen!! 

Thanks Groovy.  

That's a good point - I think the "roach theory" may apply - that his actual behaviour might be even worse. He is not someone I'd want to cross... 

I stand behind what I said. I think the ADULTS create these situations. If parents were responsible, they wouldn't be worrying about their OWN love life, their own sex life and a warm body next to them. It is self-centered and incredibly selfish. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. It's about the kids.  If you can't control yourself until your kid is 18, then you are weak and irresponsible.  Getting a new spouse, making new kids, having your own kids VISIT when the other kid gets to LIVE there it disgusting.  If you can't keep your marriage together for valid reasons, VALID reasons, not because you aren't 'happy' or 'bored' or whatever. Valid reasons, i.e. addiction, adultery, violence or abuse, etc., then stop thinking about yourself and raise your kid.  To think that people think they are ENTITLED to have a love life and their kid is supposed to just go with the flow, is in my opinion the worse form or child abuse.   

This poor me, I need somebody to love me, hold me, etc attitude is the epitome of self-centeredness.  It's NOT about you.  Do you think your kid really cares if you have a love life or not? They care that they have a parent that is there, involved, and putting THEIR needs first.  

I so agree with this post.  

I'm shocked at some of the posts here. I'm a parent and a step parent. I've been a step parent to my 1st husband's children and to my current husband's children. Some of the descriptions here show where the root of the problems lie with some step mothers. One of which is the word "we". We have joint custody. We have visitation. When it comes to someone else's children, there is no "we". Your spouse and ex have joint custody. Your spouse has visitation. When you enmesh yourself in the situation too deeply, it becomes too personal between you and your spouse's ex. It's about boundaries, respect and knowing when it's better to say nothing. And it's not a competition. There is a  very wide range of acceptable parenting styles. We don't take children from parents in this country because of some vague notion that someone else would be a better mother, or has more money or is better educated. I also don't think it's a good idea to be constantly putting the new wife in the face of the ex. It only causes friction and until everyone has calmed down and is comfortable with all the arrangements, the parent should be the one picking up the kids.  

Something else that seems skewed to me is that the children should give up all activities to facilitate a visitation schedule they had nothing to say about. Sports, music lessons, ballet etc are all very important to children. These activities should be worked around, just like school, not eliminated.  

My son and his girlfriend had a child when his girlfriend was only 17. Sadly, the child has some severe handicaps and the relationship didn't last. My grandson lived with his mother for 4 years, and quite frankly she dealt with all the problems quite well. I told my son before the baby was born that he couldn't expect his girlfriend to miraculously act like a 25 year old just because she gave birth. In the past year, my son, who had never shown any interest in having custody or joint custody or paid any regular child support, decided, at the behest of his new girlfriend, to sue for full custody. During one of the hearings, the judge told my son that his new girlfriend has nothing to do with this and to keep her out of it. They eventually settled on a joint custody arrangement and it has been a nightmare for my poor grandson. When they started shuttling him back and forth, I told my son to go easy and let the ex get over what she preceived as a loss, not to rub it in and it was now his job to see to it that they work together in whatever is the child's best interest. 2 weeks hadn't even passed when the new girlfriend was manipulating and coercing the child to call her Mama. She also has plans for the child to make vows to her when she and my son get married. This, understandably, sent the ex into orbit. She shows up at school conferences, Dr. appointments and is generally so overbearing that no one talks but her. She speaks very badly about the child's mother and seems to think that since she is in medical school and the ex never finished high school, that she can now lay claim to the child.  

My grandson is going to have a lifetime of extra challenges and doesn't need this. He has a right to both his mother, whom he loves dearly and his father. He has begun having temper tantrums and is clearly unhappy, but doesn't have the skill to voice his angst about any of the chaos swirling around him.  

We have something new in our area called Parenting Coaches. They help and guide newly separated parents learn how to co-parent. I'm going to show my son this post and offer to pay for this service for him and his ex. They need to learn to parent their son before they include new mates or spouses in the mix. As far as I'm concerned, this type of counseling should be required of all parents who are separating and or not living in the same household.  

Sure thing. I find it ironic that people start braying about civil rights for an individual who has REPEATEDLY violated other people's rights. Where is the cutoff point? Exactly how far does someone have to go before he has to reliquish some of his rights, namely access to an innocent child. Surely she has rights too.