Topic : 03/23 Nasty Custody Battles

The only thing I have to say about custody battles....Grow up and quit using kids as pawns!   

They are children and were never asked to be brought into this world for anyone to make someone else miserable.  If you're getting divorced, fine.  But what right does anyone have to drag the child/ren with you.  If you don't get along, either learn to or get some really good acting lessons.  Whether you like it or not, you will always have a tie to one another because of the children.  And if you really want what's best for them, knock it off already!  They need both parents, whether you like it or not. 

Is Angela okay?  I feared for her after the show.  I'm assuming that the show was recorded a few months ago.   Did she move our have her daughter change schools.  I felt sorry from Chris. Although, he brought all of it on himself.  Any updates on them?   The look in his eyes brought back a  lot of old feelings and fears I had. 

I was married to someone like Chris when I was was very young.   We  lived in a small town in Wyoming, Rawlins.  This was 6 or 7 hours from anyone that knew and cared anything about me I was 17 at the time.  We had 2 little boys, a dog and a cat.   When something or someone made my ex-husband angry he would go for the animals first and then me.  He had poured boiling water on the cat that had ran away from and was trapped between the cupboard and the stove and alway threatened to kill my dog.  The dog came up missing one afternoon, I didn't want to know what had happened.   

I finally gathered up the courage to get him to leave after he slapped our 7 month old son, leaving a hand print  across his face.  I was lucky at that time he was also sleeping with one of my best friends.  They had planned on running off to be together. Getting him to pack his bags and leave without killing us was surprisingly easy.  I felt every bit of Angela's fear.  I remember being afraid of anger.     

Lucky,  for us he was a dead beat Dad.  He has done so many drugs and spent so much time in prison he's waisting away to nothing.  My sons are now 25 and 24.  They're the greatest.  My oldest son is a father of a 2 year old son with another one on the way. My 24 year old son is becoming a tinner and also going to school.  His wife will graduate from dental hygienist in May of this year.   I also had a daughter that is now 23. She has been living in her home that she is purchasing for 4 years and is planning on getting married next year.  Times were extremely  hard. I made a lot of mistakes.  My children have seem to have learned from mine.   We made it !!!   I'm very proud of everyone of them.        

I don't feel I was in full rage mode when the show was taped. I was angry. I wish I could respond to everyone who believes that I every struck Angela in a fight or in a rage. I just want you to know that I never hit her. I have been going to my theapy as scheduled and I have made myself available to have supervised visits with my daughter. Since the the taping of the show 9 visits have been scheduled to see her they have cancelled on 4 of the visits. This inconsistancy on her behalf  disappoints my daughter, which in return frustrates me. I feel helpless in these situations. I do get angry at Angela because of her lies and exagerations of the truth. With this therapy I am learning to communicate my frustrations in a less agressive intimidating way. I can't change the past. But I certainly can learn from it. I would like it to be known that I was attacked by several people at a party nearly thirteen years ago.  I was being held by someone while others were punching me. During the scuffle I grabbed a knife off of the counter and used it to (what seemed to me) reasonably defend myself. As a result a man was paralyzed. I can't take it back. I wasn't a father or a husband back then. I want the best for my future. I am in society and I don't feel my debt to it is complete. I am sorry that I cannot be the dead beat dad that you asked me to be. I owe it to my daughter to make myself available to advise that would make me a better person, father, and even a better neighbor. I believe in change. Good things about Chris that weren't on the show. I am in my third year of college-seeking a degree in Psychology,  pay child support, obey the laws, coach for kids soccer, have a home available for my children,  and work.  In some eyes this may not be enough. I am open to any advise or encouragement that all have. And will glady answer questions. Thank you for your time. 

Children are the innocent victims in Family Court matters. 

The mother of my granddaughter has used and abused the Family Court system and has gotten away with her bad behavior.  She doesn't take seriously what the Judge or Court Commisioner says. 

The mother has been found in contempt 5 times.     Each and every time she has been found in contempt the court, the court sentenced her to jail but stayed (put on hold) that sentence and given her the option of purging the jail sentence.    Every time, she has failed to purge and has been brought back into court and the court has given her one more change. 

The mother refuses to cooperate with telephone calls.    She failed mediation.    She refuses to attend co-parent communicaiton counseling.     

Dr. Phil is correct.    If this mother doesn't change her behavior, sooner or later, our granddaughter will resent her because she has denied her a relationship with her father. 

Are you familiar with the Jessica Lunsford and Carly Bruschia cases in Florida?  In my opinion a good mother warns her child of impending danger involving male or female.  Now don't you think that is reasonable?  And you have to admit that those two horrific cases DO involve men as the perpetrators and murderers.