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Topic : 03/22 Living on the Edge

Number of Replies: 420
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 06, 2006, 01:45:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 01/11/06) She used to have it all: A husband, a beautiful home, a great job and many friends. But a crippling alcohol addiction for the past 10 years has turned Lisa’s dream life into a nightmare. One step away from being homeless, Lisa trades sexual favors for alcohol just to get through the day. Joani, a recovering addict who's been trying to help, records Lisa's debilitating addiction and the disturbing symptoms of withdrawal when she tries to go without a drink. Lisa has failed in rehab three times and is ready to give up on life. Can Dr. Phil convince her to give it one more try? Talk about the show here.

 

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January 11, 2006, 10:26 am CST

Lisa - Go For It

Lisa - Go and get cured of your problem.  You have much to look forward to. 

  

You are very attractive.  In fact, if you can get cured I would be interested in a date with you. 

 
January 11, 2006, 10:30 am CST

Drinking really does kill

After watching the show today I felt very compelled to post a message.  My husband of  close to 5 yrs was a raging alcoholic.  Lisa on the show today , mirrored him.  He would do anything to get alcohol, anything.  We have three beautiful children all under the age of 6, they were his world.  He thought I was beautiful, and professed to love me more than himself.  This all sounds wonderful, except that the grip that the poison had on him was stronger than all the love.  I watched him slowly deteriorate over the 7 yrs. we were together.  There were so many signs.  With each of my children, I would beg him not to drink .  With my last child I was on bed rest for 5 months, which meant he had to do everything including taking and picking them up from the sitter.  He was down sized several times with different company's and with each grew more depressed.  He lost closed to 30 pounds from lack of food and vomiting. One of his final jobs, the staff used to drink during the day, and several times he drove with kids intoxicated.  His spiral was getting worse and so was our financial situation.  His final job he lost because he drank before work and passed out in the parking lot and never made it there.  After this last time, I decided that we needed to get away and dry him out.  We went away for a weekend to my sisters house where I knew he would have no access to any alcohol.  During the day, he was going through withdrawal, shaking, vomiting etc.  This was a regular accurance and did not seem to be any more sever than it had always been.  Later in the evening, we were watching t.v. and he seemed to be feeling better.  Suddenly he began to convulse violently.  He had a massive heart attack and died at the hospital.  The coroner would not confirm or deny that alcohol killed him, but I knew better.  My husband was dead at 45, and I am a widow at 34.  I will admit I enabled him at times because I did not like to see him in pain.  I admit that I like to have a few drinks too and I was not physically dependent and felt that right would be taken from me if he had to stop.  There is alot of guilt with this, but no amount of begging, crying, divorce threats were enough to help him.
 
January 11, 2006, 10:34 am CST

LISA, CONTACT ME, I NEED YOUR HELP TOO!!

Lisa, I can relate to so many things in that paragraph. Please call me or write to me, all of my informtion is available. I registered with Dr.Phil.com just moments ago after reading your story. I have emailed him, yrs ago and finally again last night. I even MOVED to CALIFORNIA in hopes that it would increase my chances to have him read my email. I am hanging on by a thread, but I have NO DESIRE TO DRINK OR DRUG. I am clean and sober, but I too have lost so much and fear that I will lose even more. I understand through 12 step recovery that we need to help each other. Perhaps Dr.Phil has so many that he will never hear our story or be able to help us, but WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER. PLEASE CONTACT ME! I need to hear from you, I need your help! Maybe I can help you too! I have a meeting with my sponsor today at 1130. But please call or write so that we can help each other!!! My name is Mary. My email is marykcummings@msn.com. Let's HELP EACH OTHER LISA!!!!
 
January 11, 2006, 12:12 pm CST

I was your daughter 5 yrs ago

Quote From: krissybrat

I've never in my life responded to anything on a message board, but after reading your letter I felt compelled. This show needs to be on the Dr. Phil show, I hope he reads this letter and helps you and your family. I had chills after reading your letter. You and your husband are amazing, wonderful human beings. This is your time to be grandparents one would think, you did your job raising children, but where would these children be without you? 

I'm a 32 year old stay at home mom, and to be honest just can't understand how people like your daughter abonded there children and choose drugs and booze over there own flesh and blood. However, I've never had an addiction like this so it's not for me to judge. 

I hope a miracle happens and your daughter wakes up from this soon and gets the help she needs. 

God bless you and your husband and those 3 kids! 

Hello i was a addict and gave  all of my family up for the drugs my family for years tried every thing they took my kids they at one time tried loving me and giving me everthing and that didnt work they tried tough love and i can tell you thats when it hit me oh my gosh there not there what am i gonna do and i thinnk that was probably the hardest thing they ever did but today i have 5 yrs clean i work for a attorney and am doing great  and i was a die hard crack head and herion addict and i was one of the ones they said would never change i was a lady of the night lost my kids and every thing bad i did it including prison 5  times so if i can help just maybe a talk i will i am very blessed today and fill if you give back what you recieve you will always be wealthy in spirit
 
January 11, 2006, 12:31 pm CST

I can relate

Quote From: marykrn

Lisa, I can relate to so many things in that paragraph. Please call me or write to me, all of my informtion is available. I registered with Dr.Phil.com just moments ago after reading your story. I have emailed him, yrs ago and finally again last night. I even MOVED to CALIFORNIA in hopes that it would increase my chances to have him read my email. I am hanging on by a thread, but I have NO DESIRE TO DRINK OR DRUG. I am clean and sober, but I too have lost so much and fear that I will lose even more. I understand through 12 step recovery that we need to help each other. Perhaps Dr.Phil has so many that he will never hear our story or be able to help us, but WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER. PLEASE CONTACT ME! I need to hear from you, I need your help! Maybe I can help you too! I have a meeting with my sponsor today at 1130. But please call or write so that we can help each other!!! My name is Mary. My email is marykcummings@msn.com. Let's HELP EACH OTHER LISA!!!!

Me and my husband were herion addicts for  thr first 10 years of our 15 yr marriage but 5 yrs ago we stopped and were doing great but my husband has picked up the bottle and he isnt the same person i so loved i cant get him to relieze he is killing me and our marriage and most off he is killing him self he has had 3 strokes   and  he is a very hateful person in the evening now he does work we run a mobile home park so we work together on a daily bases and he is a very hard worker but at 5:00 it is drinking time he drinks 3 tall beers and a1/2 pint of vodka and the arguments start he trys to lie to me and say "s  i aint drinking the hard stuff but i find the bottles every were it has gotten to the point that we dont sleep in the same room and at night i watch tv in my bedroom ya thats right my bedroom he has nothing of his in my room he has his own bedroom it has been like this for 4 years now and i am really getting sick of it but if i leave i loss my job and my home since we are managers and the job supplys our home and he wont leave but even if he did i wouldnt be able to run the complex buy myself  and he cant do it without me either so i fill stuck so i stay  

he is agreat guy dont get me wrong that is in the day time Some one please give me some advise and i wish dr phil would help me 

Loving a drunk in calif 

Teresa  

 
January 11, 2006, 12:38 pm CST

Living on the edge...

 I feel as though I'm sitting here watching my husband's ex wife on television. 

  

Everything about her is just like X-------. Drugs, drinking, lying, cheating, stealing, sex for drugs or booze. Manipulation, emotional blackmail, she's got it all figured out. Pull this string to get what you want, jerk this chain to go for plan B. When all else fails, make up a lie.  

  

What gets me the most is this woman's attempt to blame her mother for her lousy life.  

It seems the woman wants to lay blame anywhere else but at her own feet.  

She was once married with everything, she seemed content not to blame her mother  

at that time in her life. Suddenly the divorce takes place and she can't cope??  

  

This is a grown woman with addiction AND drama issues.  

  

I completely understand the mother's perceived lack of concern. X's mother has put her through everything but the blender.  This woman and her mother are a perfect match for X and her mother, I just can't believe the comparison. 

  

At what point do you pull on your big girl pants and grow up? SHE chose to drink, SHE chose to 

be a prostitute, SHE is the problem, not her mother. I feel for her mother. How sad to have a child you can't stand. Sure, she may sit at home alone and cry for the daughter she once had, but that child is long gone. It's hard to feel anything for someone who has trampled on, stepped on, puked on, crapped on your heart. It's disgusting. Until that woman can walk into her mother's house with a new attitude and a clean and sober status, I'd tell her to stay out of my life.  

  

We're not only dealing with the fallout she has caused others, but her teenaged daughter.  

That's another story another day.  

  

Put that woman in a rehab and lock the door. She has a loooooooong way to go.  

  

I may sound harsh, but if you have ever lived around someone with an addiction combined with an attitude like that, you have no idea how miserable it makes the entire family.  

 
January 11, 2006, 12:51 pm CST

Please: find a surogate Family..

  The woman in the audience.. Is one person to keep in touch with.  After detox.. and programs..  find women that has at least 5 yrs sobriety. 

  

Dr. Phil.  Thanks for the yr. you saved her life. 

 
January 11, 2006, 12:52 pm CST

Hoping and Praying that Lisa stops drinking

I have something to tell Lisa and with how I'm hearing right now that she is really not seeing the whole picture of what alcohol is doing to her life maybe I should email her a picture of a 1991 honda. What you are seeing here is a picture of my husband from approximately taken 12 yrs ago at a local zoo here in Maryland. I met my husband at a club on April 9th, 1984 when he worked in a local rock group. We got married when our daughter was 3 months old and he drank alot too and I never really seen him as an alcoholic because he would not drink on his days off he respected my wish of no alcohol in the house with the kids. He used to go to a friends house after he got off work and they would sit around and drink to the point that he was driving while intoxicated and I was amazed he would make it home without being in an accident. He got an offer of a job from the Baltimore Sun Paper and asked me if I would move to the border of Pennsylvania and I said yes I  would but what he didn't know was the reason I agreed. I wanted to seperate him from the enviroment we were in because if he was asked if he wanted another beer he would say yes and I always said what is so hard about saying NO I have to get home. Moving did wonders he hardly drank at all because he knew he had to drive home from Baltimore and was in no way going to chance getting caught and then one day he asked if I cared that he went to his friends house down there for New Year's Eve and I said no just don't drive home drunk and he said oh no I'm staying over and will be home tomorrow. His little girl stood at the door of our apartment and when daddy gave her a kiss goodbye she looked up at him and said "Daddy are you gonna come home drunk?" Ashley who is now 19 was only three at the time and my husband looked at me stunned and I said "I told you kids remember." That was the start of the decline of his drinking. No matter what though I stood by him and I told him how much I loved him and that it scared me that he might end up in a fatal crash and he always said I love you for the way you care about me. He told friends next door that if it weren't for me he would probably either be in jail or dead. Five years ago the nightmare I had imagined happening in Allentown happened here only two miles away. He was not drinking at all and he chose to go to a halloween party on October 29,2000 my son and I were at a race and I got paged to the office with Justin who was only 12 at the time. I was greeted by a Maryland State Policeman asking me if I owned a 1991 Honda Accord and I told him yes and then he asked if my husband was William H. Kramer Jr. and by this time I was at the point of now being suspicous of what happened and when I said yes he said well there is only one way to tell you this and I sat there looked at him and said oh no don't you dare tell me my husband is dead and my fear had become a reality he had fallen asleep at the wheel and missed a slight curve and rolled our Honda through a corn field here and was killed instantly. I do not want to see anyother family ever have to go through what mine has the past five years. I walked out that door saying bye hon I'll be home Sunday never expecting it to be the last time I saw him alive. I had not even known where he was because they said the crash happened around 4am. The guy who had the party tried to get his keys after he had to much to drink. When I found out that this person knew that I was trying to figure out where he was and did not have the common decency to call me and say that he was at his party. I could have sued him in civil court for my husbands death but I told the personell director to let him know that I wasn't going to do that because my husband was 47 he knew right from wrong and he made a fatal desicion that day and it has ripped my family apart. His daughter is graduating this year and it hurts me so much to know that her daddy will not see her graduate and he won't be there to walk her down the aisle when she gets married. I still can't deal with it totally so I have one thing to say to Lisa "Drinking Kills 95% of the time. My husbands alcohol level was .18 almost twice the legal limit. Lisa you need help you need to get out of drinking and if you don't get a hold of it, its going to kill you the way it did my husband.
 
January 11, 2006, 12:54 pm CST

Please: find a surogate Family..

  The woman in the audience.. Is one person to keep in touch with. With 6 yrs sobriety.. After detox.. and programs..  find women that has at least 5 yrs sobriety.       

  

Dr. Phil.  Thanks for the yr. you saved her life. 

 
January 11, 2006, 1:04 pm CST

Dear Lisa:

I'm a 41 year old man who is very addicted to alcohol.  For me, it's beer.  I can easily drink 15-20 beers a day when I'm feeling good and have been lucky so far in so much that my life isn't 'ruined'.  I have a great wife and many great friends, but the only thing that makes me truly happy is beer.  I know I should stop, and the intellectual in me tells me I should, but I'm afraid because I don't know if I can.  Everyday I ache for beer and it's so easy to feed the addiction that it somehow seems silly to not have it since it makes me so happy.   

  

This letter probably dosen't mean anything to you and I know that there is nothing I can say to help you, but I just want you to know that I saw you on the show today and I was really moved.  I wish you the very best and I'll be thinking of you. 

  

Good luck, Lisa and keep your head up.  You are certainly not alone. 

  

--Mike     

 
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