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Topic : 03/22 Living on the Edge

Number of Replies: 420
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 06, 2006, 01:45:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 01/11/06) She used to have it all: A husband, a beautiful home, a great job and many friends. But a crippling alcohol addiction for the past 10 years has turned Lisa’s dream life into a nightmare. One step away from being homeless, Lisa trades sexual favors for alcohol just to get through the day. Joani, a recovering addict who's been trying to help, records Lisa's debilitating addiction and the disturbing symptoms of withdrawal when she tries to go without a drink. Lisa has failed in rehab three times and is ready to give up on life. Can Dr. Phil convince her to give it one more try? Talk about the show here.

 

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January 11, 2006, 2:42 pm CST

7 yrs, 5 mos, & 5 days ago I was there.

Watching the videos of you, Lisa, brought back very painful memories. I would shake so badly, I would scare my young children to death. I would start drinking first thing in the morning to stop the shaking and the pounding of my heart not to mention the ever present hangover. I was so lost that I thought there was no help for me and had developed a warped idea that if I stopped drinking I would have a heart attack and die right away, so I would rather keep drinking, destroy my liver and die slowly so my kids would have me around longer. Crazy, right?? All this was done with nobody but myself knowing what was happening. My husband traveled a lot and I hid it well, or thought I did.  

At age 41, when I went to the doctor because I was losing weight, he made me bring my husband back to discuss the tests. My liver enzymes were off the charts (I had alcohol induced hepatitis), my blood pressure was so high a heart attack was probable and he basically told us that I was "a dead woman walking!" My husband was blown away and ready for anything the doctor said to do. When he said I had to detox and go to rehab, I actually didn't argue. I didn't want to go because I had loved my beer (and now anything alcoholic) for so long and life without it seemed very grim but I wanted to stop feeling like crap every single day.  

There was help and hope. That was 7 years, 5 months and 5 days ago and sober is so GOOD! It was hard but worth it. I had blackouts continually so there are many things I don't remember but my kids and husband are very good about filling me in. The one thing I do remember and never plan on forgetting is how horrible I felt every morning before I crawled out of bed. I never want to feel like that again. The fact that I can never have a drink again doesn't bother me. I know that I can't have just one; alcoholics can't. It's physically impossible.  

Throw yourself into the program like I did. Search your soul like you never have, painful as it might be sometimes. Learn to love yourself despite your faults. Remember that you can't do it alone. Use your sponsor and draw strength from your higher power. And when you're ready, most importantly, PAY IT FORWARD!!! You are in my prayers! 

 
January 11, 2006, 2:48 pm CST

Not ready -

It is in my opinion.....that it is true she needs help, however, she is not ready.  I believe that she is NOT on your show for the most important purpose in which she claims. When I listen to the nervous laughs and the grins as she looks around to the audience, it is my opinion that she is there to manipulate another game. She wishes to find someone to take pitty on her so that she has another source to use for her addiction. Possibly a book deal. A way to get some good money so that she is not a problem to her mother any more. She is looking for the next person to depend on. She is not ready Dr. Phil in my opinion. Her bottom possibly is death. Hope it is not, but she still has more to go through.
 
January 11, 2006, 2:52 pm CST

stop feeling sorry for yourself

She young woman on today show feels that it's everyone fault to why her life is the way it is. I understand that people get into problems and sometimes need help to get their life back in order. What upsets me is the way she is  finger pointing  the blame on everyone else. She is not serious about the fact that she is in big trouble and that her time maybe running out. Each drink she take is her own doing not the person suppling it for her. We all at one point in our life have had some difficulties and ask for help. Asking for help made us realize that we were in trouble that's the first step in recovery. Look I don't know much about doing drugs or being an alcoholic but what I know is being true to yourself. We can only help ourself no person or anything can help us we have to it for ourself. She has to want help, she as to say she needs help and take the steps to get help. Going on the show is one step but being truthful about what the issues are is another. She has not done that from what I saw so far.
 
January 11, 2006, 3:02 pm CST

How to find help???

My future mother in law has been an alcaholic for almost ten years. She is a wonderful person, she has tried AA, and it did not work. We have looked into rehab, but she does not have insurance, so she is unable to afford it. How do you get help, when you don't have the money to pay for it? We are all on our last leg, and really reaching out for help. We live in Ohio, so if anyone knows anywhere we could get help, it would be greatly appriciated.
 
January 11, 2006, 3:06 pm CST

do it!

DO IT!!!!!!!!! LISA  DO IT!!!!!!!!! 

 
January 11, 2006, 3:09 pm CST

I was an addict, Prescribed diet pills.

Since I was 13.. on and off.  When I was 18  took 3,  stayed up 3 days straight.  These where Christmas Trees,, slang.. 

  

Phentermine :  I am off of them now for 6 months.  

  

Been drinking  peppermint tea with lemon..  1/2 to 1 gal..a day..   Flush out system..  I eat about 2 bites of onion at night. b-4  bed.. Good for addictions..  Do what works for You.. 

  

Try to drink green tea also... 

 
January 11, 2006, 3:10 pm CST

emotionally drained

I wish I could say that I feel better knowing that I am not the only one experiencing the pain of living with an estranged addicted child.  For years I was the enabler in my daughter's destructive lifestyle as well but being a mother you think that you are doing the right thing by catching them every time they fall which is what I did for 15 years.  I am not saying that I knew during the entire 15 yrs that she was doing drugs. Since I can never get the truth from her about when it started I blamed her "wild side" on everything from 'teenager things,' her horrible childhood, (her father and I divorced when she was a baby) her inability to get along with her peers and the list goes on and on. I wouldn’t have won mother of the year either so my guilt for her behavior was and still is a thorn in my foot.  I had to work and wasn't involved in her life as I should have been but I didn't have the perfect childhood either and I feel when you reach a certain age as Lisa and mine have, it is time to let go and let them make their own choices; good or bad. You can use "childhood" as a crutch to either do well or fail and I have been blamed for every bad thing that has ever happened to her so when I put her out it was my feeling that ok, if I am the reason for your problems then let's eliminate the problem.  Or at least that is what I had to do to save my own sanity. I can't do the emotional rollercoaster anymore and the sad thing is, I am so selfish with my feelings that I can not stand to see my grandchildren. It hurts so much when they ask me "do you know where my mother is?"   I had them with me for 2 years and was their mother. I took them to school, met with teachers, did homework, put them to bed...they lived with me while she was making me believe that she was out there looking for a place to live for her and her children and I truly thought that I was helping her while she got on her feet.  Thing is...she never had any money after payday. I got fed up called their dad and told him that he could either take his kids or the state was going to for I am tired. I am 51 and I have raised my kids and have reached a time in my life where I just want to have some peace and quiet and it was time for him to raise his. The absolute hardest thing I have ever done in my life!  Some will call me uncaring and heartless but it is like I told my daughter;" Who is going to be there for you when I am dead and gone?" She is 30 years old with 3 beautiful children, one of which who has Down's Syndrome, now you tell me; if a special needs child does not bring one to their senses, what is? 

 
January 11, 2006, 3:13 pm CST

Best of luck to you Lisa.... You ARE worth it!

I have never felt so moved while watching a television talk show.  Lisa you are not alone... there are so many people suffering from alchol addiction.  I am sure that most people can say they themselves or someone they know or love suffers from this deadly dicease.  Growing up as a young child, my father was an alcholic.  I have so many bad memories and experiences from that but it didnt stop me from getting to where I really wanted to be.  I myself almost fell prey to the dicease when I ended a relationship early on in my life but thankfully came out of it!!!  Although I made many mistakes because of it and I have many debts as a consequence, I am so thankful that I was able to get away from it when I did.   

It is never too late!!!  You can get through it but  you need to work hard and stay focused on YOU!  I just wanted to let  you know - hopefully you will see these messages but I have faith that you can do this and I will think and pray for you everyday.  Remember what Dr. Phil said to you that  you are worth it !  Never forget those words!  I hope the next time that I see you on the show a clean and sober woman! 

  

 
January 11, 2006, 3:14 pm CST

I agree with warpony

Quote From: missbilly

Warpony that is where you are wrong--alcohol is a disease that can very well be passed on in the family to the kids. If its all the child sees then they don't know anything different and it can be hard to break the circle alot of times. My late husbands dad drank and drank alot and in return both my late husband and his brother started drinking. His brother is a recovering alcoholic but it took a very violent situation to breat the cycle. My husband told me that he had just gotten in from one of the gigs that the band performed and he know sooner tried to go to sleep when he heard a fight downstairs. It was his brother raising his hand to hit his dad while he was drunk and my husband grabbed him and threw him head first into the refrigerator there was even a dent in the handle from it and Alan said it was that scene that woke him up and forced himself to look at what he was doing to his life but not everyone can do that. There are alot of people out there that don't have the support network that they need to help them overcome the drinking. Yea it's real easy to look at someone who drinks alot and put a lable on them of oh he's just a drunk or she is just a drunk its there decision if they want to stop they can but that is not how this disease works. People who are trying to overcome being an alcoholic need a support system they need to know that someone is going to be there for them if for some reason they get the urge to pick up a beer and instead call someone and talk it out. Thats the hard part, the hard part is saying okay this person can't succeed doing this alone they need help and I'm up for helping them recover. That is what people need to do.
I was raise by my grandmother on my Father side of the family. My father was an social drinker his words. My mother left me and took on a whole new life in a Canada until I met her at 9 years old. She lived with my stepfather at the time, he was having sex with my sister (different father) and I told. My mother send my sister away and kept the man I was rape by father. The point is the we can control certain things in our lives but there are some that we can. Lisa like alot of other people blame not having this or because of this that why my life is the way it is. Please ...I have had many other terrible things happen to me but how I choose to deal with t was to write and speck about it.That's the problem with people we don't allow others to be accountable for what they do. I don't and did not have the support network like most people. I have been doing the self healing and the building of me by myself. Look the bottom line is that Lisa like everyone else is not a baby that needs their hand pat when they do something wrong. These are people that are old enough to know better and know that there will be a price to pay for their actions. I can testify that I did it alone with the help of my god. I have not committed any crimes against anyone I work currently in school for my B.A. People need to be accountable....
 
January 11, 2006, 3:18 pm CST

01/11 Living on the Edge

Quote From: aleesha

My future mother in law has been an alcaholic for almost ten years. She is a wonderful person, she has tried AA, and it did not work. We have looked into rehab, but she does not have insurance, so she is unable to afford it. How do you get help, when you don't have the money to pay for it? We are all on our last leg, and really reaching out for help. We live in Ohio, so if anyone knows anywhere we could get help, it would be greatly appriciated.

It isn't that AA didn't work, because it does work. She just wasn't ready to be there. She has be be willing and wanting something different. In AA there is a saying "must be willing to go to any lengths". She probably puts herself through alot just to drink, is she willing to do anything to stop? 

How long did she attend AA? There are so many meetings and people, if she actively seeks what she needs by exploring other meetings, she will find her place. She has to do the work. It easy to keep drinking, it is what she knows and is comfortable with, reaching out is difficult,but ever so worth it.   

As for treatment, Check into a program called Teen Challenge for women. They take all ages and are usually free. Many people have quit drinking and improved their lives by just getting involved in AA. God bless you both.... 

 
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