Topic : 03/22 Living on the Edge

I was sober for 11 years. I attended 1 AA meeting per week. The only thing that changed was the fact that I wasn't drinking. The fact that I was abused in many ways, raped, and an abuser myself all came to haunt me. I became such a victim, poor me, look at all that was done to me, poor me, it is your fault I am the way I am, poor me....another drink. Well I never went back to alcohol but I did turn to drugs. Recovery for me means becoming responsible for my actions and forgiving. I needed to accept life on life's terms and ask for help. I couldn't recover alone without watching, listening, and becoming willing to do as others have done in there lives that have became productive, happy people. My parents did the best they could with what they had available to them. I know they would have done better if they knew how. Thankfully, there are more options available to me to make changes, if I desire. And my son has even more options, if he chooses them, to better his life. Today, I choose to make healthy choices. Today, I value my life and most important today I love who I am. For years alcohol and drugs were the power greater than me that I desired and did anything for because they made me feel better. They made me feel capable, strong enough, and beautiful. And that power greater than myself has changed many times to other things, food, sex, men. Always the same results, I would become more powerless and disappointed. Today I have a power greater than myself that I choose to call God (Good Orderly Direction). My power comes from within me, it has always been there, I just never knew it or trusted it. It is my self esteem. With it I value and honor myself.  I live each day making choices that are healthy and loving for myself and everyone I am around. I used to be this great, helpful person to most people, but in my own home I was different, I was angry and hateful. Today the person you meet, is the same person I am all the time. For this, and my life, I am ever so grateful. May you find peace. 

For Dr. Phil to have such a seriously addicted alcoholic on his stage, she would either have alcohol in her system or be going thru some very serious withdrawal in view of the the audience.  I think there's no way Dr. Phil would have an audience watching an alcoholic going thru the DTs.   

I'm glad I saw the Dr. Phil show today.  I was sober for 15 years.  Then, in 2003, I though I could "control" my drinking.  Wrong!  I picked up right where I left off 15 years earlier.  I hate myself every time I pick up a beer.  It has nothing to do with strength or willpower or being weak.  I know I have the disease of acholisim.  AA is like the Mafia, once you get in, you know too much to get out.  I have not lost anything yet, except respect for myself, which is everything.  I have not had a drink for 2 days now and I'm praying for the strength to go on.  I continue to isolate myself and don't want to go to meetings.  I'm holding Lisa in  my thoughts. 

for that woman. I will be praying for her and her family. However, has one that has dealt with an addiction and have dealt with family members that has had addiction/addictions.. I know that it will be tough for her. May she find strength in the Lord. 

 DR. Phil  

              I watch your show almost every day.  The show today is so much like my oldest daughter Tiffany who is now 32 yrs old. When she was 16 she was raped and treated me as her mother very terrible. Every thing that has happened in her life is my fault.  She married in 2000 and has 2 beautiful children Vanessa 4 and Vittorio 3.  Tiffany has had a DUI for taking Loritab and other pain medications.  She does not take care of her children or her house.  DCFS took the children out of the home in August 2005 and they were with there Father Rick and Grandmother in California. Vanessa is doing well . Vittorio is back with his mother as of Dec 2005 . She only cares for herself. Vittorio will go days with out a bath.  

  She is now going with the man that raped her and she isn't divorced yet. She says she is pregant with his child due in JULY 2006. Dr Phil we need your HELP !!!!!!!!!! Tiffany is in deep denial  she isn't talking to me because I'm not happy with the way she is taking care of my grandchildren. She also involves Vanessa in adult problems and I tell her NO Don't do that.  Could you help me. Tiffany lies about every thing. Her daughter even tells her she lies to her.  Sue Vajda Caring Mother & Grandmother.  My e-mail ssuba84104@yahoo.com. 

You go girl! Get the help you need, and you will never regret it. Hope in the future you can be thankfull to the people who cared enough to get you where you are today, especially Dr, Phil, cause he does not help just anybody! There will be a lot of us thinking of you, and there is some that you have helped without even knowing it, those that maybe saw themselves in you today on the show. 

BE STRONG AND HOLD ON! 

  They will refer you to someone..   Salvation army,  some churches....  Go to search engine www.ask.com    put  in addictions, state. city  

will give you can e-mail  and ask for referrals. 

Take care John   

Congratulations on not having had a drink for 2 days. 

Re. AA Meetings - I took a graduate level substance abuse class & one of my assignments was to attend two different AA meetings (different locations/different people).  The first AA meeting took place in a small church meeting room that used to be a house.  The atmosphere was warm & supportive, & I thanked some people afterwards for saying some profound things that helped me even though I don't drink.  The second meeting took place in a huge room & had a large number of people there.  Most of them were not participating at all, & were not present mentally.  It was obvious they were only there by court order & their only motivation was getting their piece of paper signed & staying out of jail.  Many areas have AA meetings all over the place, practically on every street corner.  If you don't like one AA group, I suggest trying another.  For most people, it's much harder to make a change by oneself than with a group of like-minded people, working toward the same goals. 

P.S.  That hopeful icon looks very cross-eyed to me.