Topic : 03/22 Living on the Edge

In 1986, I was in trouble.  I was on food stamps, wanted to work.  The factory was on strike, I crossed the picket line to work.  A man and women In a 1980 ford truck, had a dobermin. I went to pet the dog, It was 11:46pm 3th of July at the picket line..  he pulled out a chain and padlock, hit me upside the head..  It  bleed for 4 days..  I was walking down the street, and street escorts. asked If I was ok and looked at it. Helped, They showed me compassion. 

  

A professional/model escort from Vegas, Saved My Life..    She is very professional, 

  

Listen to your heartbeat and stop drinking.   

  

Take care. 

  

  

  

Take care 

My daughters life is the same as the lady on the show today. We have tried to help her to no avail. We have not seen her in over a year and a half,,she calls ,usually stoned. She is living,sometimes homeless with a man she met when we sent her to rehab over 5 years ago,,she is still married to another man. I am raising 3 of her children,another grandma is raising 3 more she has had in the last 5 years.As a mother ,I can not express all my feelings and concerns,,the children now are my priority that I am raising.,their ages are 5, 11, and 15. Their emotions of being embarrassed,sad,mad,confused,etc. are something we deal with everyday,,and their are situations in their lives I dont have time to even get into.My husband and I have given our lives to the 3 children we are raising,our time,our love,our energy,our finicial stability,etc.,but we love them and cant imagine our lives without them,my husband and I never have time for each other,,but you know the worst thing is laying down at night in my bed,in my house,with my stomach full,not knowing where my daughter is,is she stoned?is she hungry?does she have a bed to lie in tonight?She too, I feel will die soon if she doesnt get help,,but everything we try to help with,she declines,,,

Just this past Sunday my nephew flew in from Upstate NY to live with me. Last night we had a long talk and he told me that he has never felt loved, that if he overdosed on drugs nobody would even notice that he was gone. He also went on to tell me that he has been doing crack cocaine every day for the past year. He claims that how he paid for his habit is the dealers used him to deliver the drugs. 

  

When we talked he said that he thinks he can stay away from the crack (which I personally doubt) but he could NEVER stay away from the pot. He tells me that he is going crazy without it and has to find some and get high 

  

I am already in a situation where I am trying to save my marriage. My husband has been gone for 3 weeks on a Pilgrimage to Mecca and will be back soon. 

  

  

My nephew is 20 years old, His mother ( my sister ) a year ago left his father after 25 years of marriage. His mother is now in a gay relationship ( which he does not like at all ). His father needs medication to control his "moods" and is not taking them.  

  

If I send him back he will go right back to the drugs and be living with a father who is not normal.  His father is already calling saying "If you are not back in a month I am going to quit my job and come out there and get you!! "  

  

He wants help but I think this is over my head.  

  

I do not want to let him down. He already has had so many disappointments in his life. 

  

What do I do next ?? 

I've never in my life responded to anything on a message board, but after reading your letter I felt compelled. This show needs to be on the Dr. Phil show, I hope he reads this letter and helps you and your family. I had chills after reading your letter. You and your husband are amazing, wonderful human beings. This is your time to be grandparents one would think, you did your job raising children, but where would these children be without you? 

I'm a 32 year old stay at home mom, and to be honest just can't understand how people like your daughter abonded there children and choose drugs and booze over there own flesh and blood. However, I've never had an addiction like this so it's not for me to judge. 

I hope a miracle happens and your daughter wakes up from this soon and gets the help she needs. 

God bless you and your husband and those 3 kids! 

 Dear Lisa,
I have been in your shoes. I was a raging alchoholic after a bad divorce too. I have been sober for 14 1/2 years and I want you to know that you can lick this. It isn't easy, but it will be worth it. Now, I can handle what  life throws at me, and not want a drink to have to deal with it. My life isn't easy, no one's life is perfect. I had people in my family and friends who hurt me terribly, but, sober....I can now deal with it.....and not need a drink to do so. I don't  even  think about drinking anymore.  The most comforting thing I can tell you is that you aren't alone. You don't have to be alone....take the help Dr Phil is offering and find serenity in your life. The reason the serenity prayer is so important to those of us who are recovering is that it is so true.  And know one thing.....you can NEVER take another drink, and drink like someone who doesn't have this disease. Alchohol is a poison to alchoholics.

I wish you peace and serenity, and you are worth it!! MK

For years I have lived as a survivor. I come from a divorce home and some what dysfunctional. I was molested as a toddler on a few occasions and never told anyone until I was an adult. I was held down by a group of boys on school bus and touched inappropriately at age 12 then was labeled a whore something I heard my father say about my mother in my early years. I had a son when I was 19 by the man that went all the way with  me at 13 yrs.old, he was 11 yrs. older than I. We married before our son was born. My son's father was an abusive man. He abused alcohol and myself weekly. I survived that and left only then to turn to alcohol and drugs myself. My son suffered so much from that. Years into my addictions I met a loving man to whom we planned to marry until one fatal night when my boyfriend, his friend and I went out drinking. I lost a wonderful  guy that night and I nearly lost my life. My back was broke, my bone in right leg was exposed and broke, my left leg, the femur stuck out enough that I could  and did wrap my hand on it thinking it was a stick in my leg. Where I was thrown was a horse pasture and I got infection in the left femur as a result I lost nearly 7 inches of the femur. I have had too many operations to remember a number. I was blessed to have been able to kept that leg, but that wasn't the end of my addictions. I added  too my story,more drugs, more abusive sick relationships. Finally my many attempts  to be alcohol and drug free clicked. March 14, 1997 was the last day I drank alcohol.  Because of all my surgeries I have had access to pain medicine and have really had to keep on top of it therefore I don't claim to be drug free. There have been really brief periods of concern, but I have survived. Today I am in a loving relationship to  a wonderful guy and I am recovering from my third and hopefully last surgery in this past year. January 6th of 2006 I bought my first pair of shoes that did not need to left shoe built up nor have a brace attached to it. I have survived all this which for years has been what I settled for and was to be enough others would say. I turned 46 yrs. old January 8th. I watch the show daily and have took what I needed from each show and applied to my life. I even bought a book  by Dr.Phil ( haven't read yet). I have bought another book  Bad Childhood Good Life by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and have read it plus listened to it on cd. The book has been another of my many blessings. That is why I say I am on the road to being a conqueror today because it is not enough for me to be a survivor. Lisa my heart goes out to you because I have been where you are and have said what you have said. Lisa don't stop before the miracle, hold on it is possible, I am proof. When I had trouble holding on I asked a higher power to hold on to me and it worked. I am in your corner as well as some of my friends. Sincerely           

  

Lisa, Please listen to Dr Phil, I have been in his shoes and your mother shoes.  I was married to a wonderful man, except he drank.  We had a wonderful life, with a nice house, 2 cars and a wonderful son.  During many stays in rehab, he would stay overnight, then call his sister or just leave saying that he was sober and anything would be alright.  (it never was alright).   Please, please take Dr Phil's help, my husband died in July, 2003 a very very bad death, due to alcoholism, 

he was taking to the hospital due to the fact that he was getting sick everyday, and many times a day.  In March he starting getting sick and could not stop, and then the blood started coming, he had no esophagus left, they put him in a induced coma and put bands in his esophagus, but while he was in coma, they also got him clean.  But he never made it, he woke up and then his kidney would not work, along with additional problems, but don't make anyone else go through this, IT WAS THE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MIME AND MY SONS LIFE, WATCHING YOUR HUSBAND AND FATHER NEVER BE THE PERSON THAT THEY SHOULD OF BEEN.  HE DRANK ABOUT 2 CASES OF BEER A DAY, ALONG WITH A BOTTLE OF VODKA OR WHATEVER WAS AVAILABLE TO HIM.     THANK YOU DR. PHIL FOR TOUCHING ON THIS SUBJECT AND NOT PUTTING ANY OF THE BLAME OF THE MOTHER, I HAVE BEEN THERE AND HAD PEOPLE TELL ME THAT I SHOULD OF DONE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, BUT GUESS WHAT," WHY THE PERSON THAT IS DRINKING IS A ADULT, YOU CAN PUT THEM IN REHAB, BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM STAY, AND YOU CAN'T DO IT FOR THEM (I WOULD OF TRIED THAT ALSO)". 

  

Take care of yourself, and your husband,  kids are first if you have any.  Maybe Counseling? 

Go to al-anon. Ask your nephew to go to N/A..  many treatment centers.  

It is  very difficult situation..  Been thru it. 

  

I hope the best.  Take care  

I've witnessed a lot of addicitons in my  relatively short life.

Back in the summer one of my dad's brothers died as a result of years of alcoholism.  He'd been drinking regularly since he was 14.  The only time he was ever sober is when he was in jail, which was about 3-4 times a year.  My maternal grandmother used to live next door to my dad's family and said he used to be the sweetest little boy in the world.  All the men in that family including my dad are alcoholics that's 7 boys.  One of the girls is a drug addict, and one of the other sisters has been married to an alcoholic.  My grandfather could be no better described as Satan himself.  The stories I tell people about this family are beyond belief.  They've all lived and shared a horrible life.    my father's girlfriend is currently in prison for breaking her probation, she's lost her son, her job, and a home all because of her cocaine addiction.

I don't drink or do any sort of illegal drugs because I see what it does to people.  I've seen my dad so drunk he can't move.  I was there for his girlfriend after she got raped walking the streets at night to get her fix.   I can remember being 4 years old and riding my tricycle around one of my cousins that was passed out in my neighbor girl's garage.   I've been around and seen a lot. 

I did everything I could to help my dad's girlfriend through her drug counseling, and her rehabilitation and after care, but it wasn't enough.  I couldn't MAKE her stop.  She's 25 years old and she may have completely ruined her life.  My dad and I are the first people in her life that really care about her, and we actually try to set rules and boundaries for her.  But in the end we can't make her fo anything.

My father's been sober for almost two years now.  I live with my mom but I pick him up from work almost everyday because he has no liscence.   He's going to be getting it back in a few months after 2 years of not haivng it. I'm scared to death he's going to go back to drinking, and then drive, if he gets caught again he's going to prison.  Then he'll lose EVERYTHING, his job, and his house.   I'm 24, but I"m still very dependant on both my parents for alot of different reasons, which I won't get into.

I feel like I"ve been the mother of two out of control teenagers and I'm only in my twenties.  I'm so tired, sick , and depressed.  I've had to put my life on hold to take care of things for my parents, but they deserve that.  It just makes growing up really hard, because I feel guilty if I"m not there to do all the things I fele like I should be doing, because I love them.