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Topic : 01/12 Racism Experiment

Number of Replies: 226
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Created on : Friday, January 06, 2006, 01:48:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Charlie, a self-described racist, struggled with the fact that his daughter was going to have a biracial baby. His insensitive, hate-based thinking tore apart his family. After speaking with Dr. Phil, he agreed to spend some time learning about African-American culture. How did he do when Dr. Phil set him up to live with a black family for two days? And, Dave grew up believing he was white, but found out the family secret when he was 26 - that he was actually biracial. In an effort to heal the pain of being deceived his whole childhood, Dave went public with his story, with disastrous consequences. How can he heal and move on? Plus, Cene is biracial and says her mother accuses her of acting "too white." Should Cene have to choose a race? Share your thoughts.


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January 12, 2006, 6:35 am CST

Way to go Charlie

Charlie,  I saw the show  and want to congratulate you for the transformation. It is like you have been born again. I hope your relationship with your daughter and granddaughter continues to grow strong. I am praying for you. I think in the coming years you may become an activist for racial equity in peoples minds. I am routing for you. 

  

Rujon 

  

  

P.S. My offer for that Deep Sea fishing trip is still on. 

  

 
January 12, 2006, 6:42 am CST

Reply

Quote From: adrianav

I totally agree with your guest that does not want to define herself as being from one race or another.
I'm  Mexican  and  I  went to the American School in Mexico City, a true bilingual and bicultural school.  Many nationalities, races, and creeds have been always represented in the school and one thing no one cared about was about which race one belonged to.  We read and studied about Native Americans and Afro Americans through the mid 50's and 60's.  Race was part of the curricula but not an issue. 
I have always been amazed the importance race is given to in the U.S. as a means of defining people.  I think that by the 21st century people's identity should not be defined by race, if that is kept on there is no way to end racial discrimination.  And yes, we have discrimination in Mexico, but it is not defined by race.  We all have to be proud of our heritage, but not defined by race.  If you could meet me I would be defined as Caucasian, but by being Mexican I know I must have Indian blood, and I'm proud of it, but that in no way defines me.
I just wish that one day people would stop defining each other by which race they belong.
Techincally speaking we are all mixed in culture and I dont really think the color of ones skin should play a part in that.  I am Italian, Russian and Welsh and English  - I happen to be fair skinned but that is just a gene thing.  My sister is my blood relative and she is olive skinned.  Do we love each other less because she is darker than I am - NO.  We have the same parents, . and the same grandparents.  when will WE learn to look beyond the color and see what is in the person?
 
January 12, 2006, 6:59 am CST

What are We?

I watched the show on 1/12/06 about racism. I just want to say I do not believe in bi-racial at all! We are members of the Human race.......Period!! I have to go along with Dr.Jesse Duplantis,who said and I quote," if you want to marry out of your race you gonna have to marry a monkey,cause we are all of the Human race" 

I do not believe in African-American or any other blank-American.........I believe if you are a citizen of this great country,then you are American.........Period!! 

  I was raised in the deep south and I knew as a young kid that racism was not right......I believe that God looks on the inside and so do I. This does not mean that I don't see the outside but rather I deal with the inside or simply who someone is rather than what they look like. 

 Wnen are people gonna wake up ? 

 
January 12, 2006, 7:00 am CST

Come on Dr Phil, READ BETWEEN THE LINES

I think the mother of the bi-racial daughter is feeling that her daughter is ashamed to be black even though she says that she is proud of being both black and white but I think that the mother doesn't want to say that because it would be even more hurtful.  I am black and agree that she is "acting" more white than she is black, and if there wasn't a difference we wouldn't even have to have this show.  Let's not pretend that there isn't a difference between the way our cultures behave.  We behave much differently than our white counterparts and there is nothing wrong with that.  Why are we trying not to say that on this show.  The daughter "acts" more white than she does black and her mother notices it and so did I.  I can't understand why you, being the psycologist, didn't see and/or acknowledge that.  As you pointed out with that gentleman who went to George's house, we have very different ways of interacting and behaving and again I say there is nothing wrong with that, and Oh by the way, I LOVE YOU AND YOUR SHOW.  :-) 

  

 
January 12, 2006, 7:07 am CST

Not Black Enough

I think that mother who said her beautiful daughter wasn't being black enough is being racist, even though Dr. Phil said she wasn't.  Had those parents have been white and saying she wasn't acting white enough then that would have been racist thinking. I don't understand why she can't be proud of being white as well as being proud of being black. especially since the mother obviously has relations with a white man. (I'm assuming, I missed the last few minutes of the show) I agree that African Americans should have Black Pride, but by the same token, Caucasian Pride is frowned upon and considered racist. I'm just confused by the double standard. I respect people. All people, and I teach my children that way. Skin color is not an issue with my family. Good people come in all colors, shapes and sizes.  Just love one another.
 
January 12, 2006, 7:13 am CST

01/12 Racism Experiment

Quote From: kendellsma

i am 21 years old and i have a 1 years old son that is mixed woth black and white.  i the mother is white.  i live in alabama which is known or said to be on of the most racist states.   i love my son and i also love his father but i am worried that biracial children have it hard growing up, to even filing out paperwork when they get old enough.   So is it really that hard for a biracial child?  i think ithe hardest will be for a black/white child and i say this because my aunt is married to a spanish man and so her sons are spanish/white, but yet my grandparents(her parents) disowned me because my child is black.  do i care?  no.  my child is the most precious thing ever.  but like i said i would like  different viewpoints on this subject.
I don't really know about this to much for I am white. But my family is in kinda the same situation. My husbands sister has been dating this guy - hes mixed with black and german- hes the sweetest thing, he treats her  like gold, just a little jealousy, (like most guys) but for the most part they say their in love (she 21 and he 25) so they know some what about love. But they just came out with it in the open about 2mon ago, but have really been daing for almost 1yr now. My husbands family including him were so mad at her for dting him - not to mention she was telling everybody they were just friends, then moves in with each other (still saying they were just friends) well needless to say people arn't stupid. They figured it out. So she didn't talk to them and they didn't really talk to her, except her sisters and mom. But she wasn't happy about it ither. But my husband hated it, we finally met him and now my husband loves him. Also, now shes pregnant. So shes having a bi-racial baby. Not to many people in the family knows (on her dad side) even though they like the guy.But for your questions, I've heard on TV biracial kids saying that its so hard, filling out them papers, wondering who they are. But its there choice just teach him that color isn't the issue its who he is, and who he wants to be. Guide him in the right direction and it;ll alwork out. He gets to choose what to think about his race. Hes his own person, hes gonna make his own mistakes, thats where youas a parent come in and let him know what is right and wrong and what the consiquinces are.You can just tell him hes him and nobody else, don't try to be like nobody else except him. Life his life like he wants to not by what othe people say about him. Not to much help but your in a tough situation and I've thought about because my husbands sister is expecting and shll be going through the sme thing.
 
January 12, 2006, 7:24 am CST

We should be Thankful!

Dear Dr Phil and Viewers: I was very touched by today's show because I am considered a 'minority minority'. The very first time I was dealing with this issue was when I went back to my homeland and chatting with my friends. The first question thrown at me was 'Have you experienced racism all these years when you live in the US?' I think we all looked at this issue with too much negatives and close to zero positives. The media has put too much negatives to catch their viewers' attentions and boost rating. What they don't understand was, these media has 'brainwashed' us thinking that the only way to approach this issue is to make it negative. I was very excited that Dr. Phil actually approved this issue wtih a very positive, delighting and fun setting instead of having guess sitting on stage screaming and yelling like some other shows did. May I say I am very impressed with that, Dr. Phil! Hats off for you and your staff! I had a conversation with my co-workers husband once about how unique this country is. He said something that I will never forget. "This is the only country in the world which our citizens can drive a German car by an Asian, taking friends who is white, black, Hispanic, go hang out at Indian restaurants, having coffee at a French cafe and having desert at Cheesecake factory..." The point is, we don't know how much privilage we have in sharing and learning from other cultures, background and heritage without flying for hours. Everything is a step away from our doors. Why not take adventage of that and enjoy each other's company rather than judging each other? Evans
 
January 12, 2006, 7:37 am CST

GUILT

Quote From: adrianav

I totally agree with your guest that does not want to define herself as being from one race or another.
I'm  Mexican  and  I  went to the American School in Mexico City, a true bilingual and bicultural school.  Many nationalities, races, and creeds have been always represented in the school and one thing no one cared about was about which race one belonged to.  We read and studied about Native Americans and Afro Americans through the mid 50's and 60's.  Race was part of the curricula but not an issue. 
I have always been amazed the importance race is given to in the U.S. as a means of defining people.  I think that by the 21st century people's identity should not be defined by race, if that is kept on there is no way to end racial discrimination.  And yes, we have discrimination in Mexico, but it is not defined by race.  We all have to be proud of our heritage, but not defined by race.  If you could meet me I would be defined as Caucasian, but by being Mexican I know I must have Indian blood, and I'm proud of it, but that in no way defines me.
I just wish that one day people would stop defining each other by which race they belong.
Does it make me a bad person when I can not except the fact that my 24 yr old daughter is living with a black man?  My Daughter and Granddaughter are living with a black man.  Do I object to this? ABSOLUTELY with out a doubt.  I do not dis like blacks I just don't believe that whites and blacks should mix.  A year ago my daughter was living with me and became pregnant by a black guy, needless to say she had to move out, I made it clear that there would be no way that I would ever except that child as my grand child, My daughter terminated the pregnancy, and the black guy was out of the picture, he actually wanted the pregnancy terminated but wanted me to pay for it, I refused, it wasn't my problem.  My daughter has since moved on and now is living with another black guy.  My family and I have pretty much cut her out of our lives, she can come visit but the guy is not allowed to come to our home, And they are not included in any family functions, She chose to spend Christmas with him instead of her family.  He may be a nice guy, but I just can not except the fact that he is black and that they have some sort of a relationship whatever that may be.    The worst thought that crosses my mind is the fact that my granddaughter could end up calling this man DAD,  the fear is that kids are cruel and what will happen when she goes to school and the other kids discover that she calls a black guy DAD?    I just don't know... I have told my husband over and over again that I feel guilty for the way that I feel, but I just can not get past it. 
 
January 12, 2006, 7:44 am CST

Who Does She Think She's Kidding?

Cene's mother must not have looked in the mirror today when she straightened the bangs on her own (contemporary) hairstyle.  Isn't she talking out of both sides of her mouth?
 
January 12, 2006, 8:01 am CST

Confused - Did I miss some information?

I just wanted to ask a question.  Don't know how to convey that other than this message board.  Did I miss some important information about Dave?  Was he adopted?  Was he the biological child of either of his white parents?  Did the stork leave him on their door step?  Was he mixed up in the hospital?  There was no history given that I heard of how he just suddenly wound up in that family.  No history or information given as to if he was the natural child of his mother and if so, how did that come to be?  Did she have an affair?  Did the father know about it?  Was he accepting of this child?  I think there is more of a show as to how the situation began.  Did he ever confront his mother as to how he came to be?  Did they not think he would notice?  Just trying to put the pieces together.  Thank you for filling in the blanks.
 
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