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Topic : 01/12 Racism Experiment

Number of Replies: 226
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Created on : Friday, January 06, 2006, 01:48:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Charlie, a self-described racist, struggled with the fact that his daughter was going to have a biracial baby. His insensitive, hate-based thinking tore apart his family. After speaking with Dr. Phil, he agreed to spend some time learning about African-American culture. How did he do when Dr. Phil set him up to live with a black family for two days? And, Dave grew up believing he was white, but found out the family secret when he was 26 - that he was actually biracial. In an effort to heal the pain of being deceived his whole childhood, Dave went public with his story, with disastrous consequences. How can he heal and move on? Plus, Cene is biracial and says her mother accuses her of acting "too white." Should Cene have to choose a race? Share your thoughts.


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January 12, 2006, 9:59 am CST

cruelty

Quote From: dterenzi

Does it make me a bad person when I can not except the fact that my 24 yr old daughter is living with a black man?  My Daughter and Granddaughter are living with a black man.  Do I object to this? ABSOLUTELY with out a doubt.  I do not dis like blacks I just don't believe that whites and blacks should mix.  A year ago my daughter was living with me and became pregnant by a black guy, needless to say she had to move out, I made it clear that there would be no way that I would ever except that child as my grand child, My daughter terminated the pregnancy, and the black guy was out of the picture, he actually wanted the pregnancy terminated but wanted me to pay for it, I refused, it wasn't my problem.  My daughter has since moved on and now is living with another black guy.  My family and I have pretty much cut her out of our lives, she can come visit but the guy is not allowed to come to our home, And they are not included in any family functions, She chose to spend Christmas with him instead of her family.  He may be a nice guy, but I just can not except the fact that he is black and that they have some sort of a relationship whatever that may be.    The worst thought that crosses my mind is the fact that my granddaughter could end up calling this man DAD,  the fear is that kids are cruel and what will happen when she goes to school and the other kids discover that she calls a black guy DAD?    I just don't know... I have told my husband over and over again that I feel guilty for the way that I feel, but I just can not get past it. 

It's interesting to me that you mention the cruelty of children.  Really, is this what you are worried about?  It doesn't sound to me like other children will be the cruelest or most judging people in this child's life.   

How could you raise and love your daughter, only to abondon her over a decision you do not agree with?  What does this teach your grandchild about unconditional love? 

If you think this child wil  be the only one at school with an African-American dad, you are very naive. 

 
January 12, 2006, 10:04 am CST

Great Expectations..

 I would like to travel the world..  There is competition in everything... 

I couldn`t believe  5 Doctors worked on the first parasitic, head.. and successful..THATS  GREAT>>>Off of Oprah Show...  It would cost about 5 million.. From Egypt.. 

  

I have to get life insurance to pay all the people that helped me.  And I mean everyone. at least 500k.  TC  John 

 
January 12, 2006, 10:42 am CST

01/12 Racism Experiment

Quote From: andy0827

It's interesting to me that you mention the cruelty of children.  Really, is this what you are worried about?  It doesn't sound to me like other children will be the cruelest or most judging people in this child's life.   

How could you raise and love your daughter, only to abondon her over a decision you do not agree with?  What does this teach your grandchild about unconditional love? 

If you think this child wil  be the only one at school with an African-American dad, you are very naive. 

I don't think that I am naive at all, and I know that my granddaughter would not be the only white child in school with a black step father.  Yes  I do worry about other children being cruel.  I have some friends, he is black and she is white, they have a daughter, she has told me that no matter how you look at it her daughter is black, she got called names in school, teased, (is that fair to an innocent child?)   she has also said that when they go out they get looks, even in this day and age it is still frowned upon, granted most are racist, I however do not believe that I am a racist,   It's a cruel world we live in and by admission, caused by people that think and feel the way I do.  Like I said I feel guilty at times for the way I feel.     

 
January 12, 2006, 10:58 am CST

Interesting, but too easy

Interesting show on racism, Dr. Phil, but it's been done so many times before. Racism will be around, sadly, until the end of time. There's also fattism, sexism, religiousism (you get my drift) and lots of other "isms." All are horribly bad.What I take issue with is the fact that the media (and that includes you) always make it a white on black race issue.  

  

As a teacher (for 9 years) of mostly poor, African American teens, I have seen the racism within the black culture (many of my black students didn't want to sit beside a "red bone" or someone with darker skin!). I have also seen black students refusing to sit beside Mexican students AND I have seen Puerto Rican students getting into fights because they were called Mexican. I have heard Asian college-aged kids laughing at kids from Lous, saying that people from that country are bottom feeders in the Asian community. AND, I have OFTEN seen black teens and adults being so prejudice against whites that they don't know personally!!!! As a teacher and as a a parole officer in later years, the color of my pasty white Scottish heritage skin branded me a bigot, a "cracker" and racist the moment I entered a room! I had to prove myself otherwise. In my book, prejudice is prejudice, plain and simple!!! 

  

Why won't the media tackle the BROADER issue of racism? Until it does, it's just another show. When it encompasses ALL races and ALL racism, only then will it be a GREAT show!  A "B' on your efforts today, Dr. Phil. Let's go for the grade of A+ :)  

  

By the way, Charlie SHOULD have been upset NOT by the color of his granddaughter's skin; RATHER, he should have been upset that the baby's mother is  unmarried!!!! Let's get back to God, love and committment. Kids born into this world deserve SO MUCH MORE than what they are getting!!! 

 
January 12, 2006, 11:02 am CST

01/12 Racism Experiment

Quote From: dterenzi

I don't think that I am naive at all, and I know that my granddaughter would not be the only white child in school with a black step father.  Yes  I do worry about other children being cruel.  I have some friends, he is black and she is white, they have a daughter, she has told me that no matter how you look at it her daughter is black, she got called names in school, teased, (is that fair to an innocent child?)   she has also said that when they go out they get looks, even in this day and age it is still frowned upon, granted most are racist, I however do not believe that I am a racist,   It's a cruel world we live in and by admission, caused by people that think and feel the way I do.  Like I said I feel guilty at times for the way I feel.     

Kids are going to tease your child, black father or not. Maybe they won't like the shape of her eyes or the color of her hair or the way she talks, but would you be so worried abut their cruelty if it were for any of these reasons? Probably not. Your only concern is the black man that is in her life and the life of your daughter. 

  

The last thing your granddaughter needs is a judgemental family, when she will have to tolerate teasing from her peers. Not just because her mother is with a black man. But because kids find any reason they can to tease another kid. You should be supportive, rather then trying to cut them out of your life, because they will need you more then ever. 

  

The fact that you feel guilty for feeling the way you do shows that you are willing to make a change in your life. Start by meeting your daughter and her significant other for lunch or dinner or even a cup of coffee. Get to know him. He might be a perfectly acceptable, respectful, kind, and caring man. Do all you can to repair your relationship with your daughter. Family should be the one thing in our lives that never wavers, never falters, never turns away from us. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. Don't disown your daughter, don't turn away from her, just because she chooses to live with a black man. She cannot help who she falls in love with, but you can help how you react to it. Choose to love your daughter, black man or not. The rest will fall into place. 

 
January 12, 2006, 11:19 am CST

01/12 Racism Experiment

Quote From: illneptune

It still amazes me when I see and hear so many people who don't realize the sort of world we are living in today.

We are still bleating on and whining about supposed "racism"? The father on the show has every right to be angry and furious with his daughter and it has nothing to do with hating other people. Maybe he's angry that his daughter just threw away her heritage and culture thereby effectively discontinuing one "branch" of his family. Perhaps he's also upset over the fact that his daughter's selfish behaviour just robbed a child of its identity. It is neither Black or White and one can't be both.  Listen to the story of the man who just found out he's "biracial." Children such as this are often forced to choose a "side" and they still aren't fully accepted. Why bring a child into such suffering?

So here is a man who is branded a racist, because he wants to preserve his culture and heritage. He wants his family to look like he does! God forbid he desire a perfectly natural thing like that! How hateful of him to be angry with his daughter, who just threw away how many thousands of years of evolution? Even though the father and the daughter are ordinary people, they still have the blood of the people who built the modern world. White people should remember that. We have a fantastic heritage and we shouldn't throw it away on the sick fad of multiculturalism.

I fully expect to be called a "racist" here. It doesn't matter because it's nothing more than an attack word for people who have no argument? Why? Because the word can't be defined. It's too general. What may be a "racist" thought, word or action to one person...may not be "racist" at all to another person. So have at it.


Wow, every time I hear the excuse of Marxism for someone being a racist I am shocked.  Truth be told, black slaves built the moderm world, not the "white" people.  All races have a fantastic heritage that should not be taken away nor forgotten, they all should be taught! 

  

I am married to a wonderful black man and we have a beautiful 9 year old daughter and we are expecting our second child in August.  Our daughter has no problems being bi-racial in school (that is another excuse for people to be racist).  America is a vast melting pot of cultures, why segregate them?  That would go backwards in time, not forward. 

 
January 12, 2006, 12:26 pm CST

Wow what planet are you from?

Quote From: illneptune

It still amazes me when I see and hear so many people who don't realize the sort of world we are living in today.

We are still bleating on and whining about supposed "racism"? The father on the show has every right to be angry and furious with his daughter and it has nothing to do with hating other people. Maybe he's angry that his daughter just threw away her heritage and culture thereby effectively discontinuing one "branch" of his family. Perhaps he's also upset over the fact that his daughter's selfish behaviour just robbed a child of its identity. It is neither Black or White and one can't be both.  Listen to the story of the man who just found out he's "biracial." Children such as this are often forced to choose a "side" and they still aren't fully accepted. Why bring a child into such suffering?

So here is a man who is branded a racist, because he wants to preserve his culture and heritage. He wants his family to look like he does! God forbid he desire a perfectly natural thing like that! How hateful of him to be angry with his daughter, who just threw away how many thousands of years of evolution? Even though the father and the daughter are ordinary people, they still have the blood of the people who built the modern world. White people should remember that. We have a fantastic heritage and we shouldn't throw it away on the sick fad of multiculturalism.

I fully expect to be called a "racist" here. It doesn't matter because it's nothing more than an attack word for people who have no argument? Why? Because the word can't be defined. It's too general. What may be a "racist" thought, word or action to one person...may not be "racist" at all to another person. So have at it.


What sort of world are you talking about?  Last time I looked around we share our planet with a vast variety of humans.  Have we not evolved away from tribalism in our culture?  I guess if you don’t believe in evolution then you might think the way you do.  Frankly (and fortunately) there are very few people in our culture who don’t believe that people, cultures and societies do evolve.  Most embrace the changes but unfortunately a few are too scared to accept it.  Fear leads to anger and anger lead to violence.  We all live in hope that that minority like yourself who are the root of all violence can eventually evolve with the rest of us and we can live in peace and harmony.  We who live here have a very rich culture, the American Culture.  Our heritage is a melting pot and no child born her is robbed of anything unless the adults that surround them fail to see the blessing that living in such an enriched nation bring.

  

 

  

 

If you don’t like the term “racist” how about the term “conservative” defined as follows

  

 

Conservative: In favor of preserving the status quo and traditional values and customs and resistant to change and in denial that evolution is important.

  

 

  

 

This means that you live your life as your great grandparents did.  You accept that women and children should be property and only those who own land have any rights, medical treatment is keeping alive the weak and is a waste of resources, anything that is new should be avoided and will be the destruction of us all.  Looking back is more important then looking forward.

  

 

  

 

Personally I think you are the one suffering and you are the one throwing away 100s of years of evolution. 

  

 

 

 
January 12, 2006, 12:29 pm CST

He branded himself a racist.

Quote From: illneptune

It still amazes me when I see and hear so many people who don't realize the sort of world we are living in today.

We are still bleating on and whining about supposed "racism"? The father on the show has every right to be angry and furious with his daughter and it has nothing to do with hating other people. Maybe he's angry that his daughter just threw away her heritage and culture thereby effectively discontinuing one "branch" of his family. Perhaps he's also upset over the fact that his daughter's selfish behaviour just robbed a child of its identity. It is neither Black or White and one can't be both.  Listen to the story of the man who just found out he's "biracial." Children such as this are often forced to choose a "side" and they still aren't fully accepted. Why bring a child into such suffering?

So here is a man who is branded a racist, because he wants to preserve his culture and heritage. He wants his family to look like he does! God forbid he desire a perfectly natural thing like that! How hateful of him to be angry with his daughter, who just threw away how many thousands of years of evolution? Even though the father and the daughter are ordinary people, they still have the blood of the people who built the modern world. White people should remember that. We have a fantastic heritage and we shouldn't throw it away on the sick fad of multiculturalism.

I fully expect to be called a "racist" here. It doesn't matter because it's nothing more than an attack word for people who have no argument? Why? Because the word can't be defined. It's too general. What may be a "racist" thought, word or action to one person...may not be "racist" at all to another person. So have at it.


If what you say is true, and no biracial child can have an identity, what about children who are part italian/irish? Or scottish/irish? Or british/african? (African does not equal black, remember.) Or how about kids whose parents come from Australia and Ireland? Should seperate ethnicities stay away from one another, too? People from different countries? After all, we all have different cultures and heritages. Should there be no mixing at all? 

  

Should I divorce my husband because my ancestors are Italian and his are German? Should my children not exsist because they will have no identity? Please, give me a break. A person's identity is not solely dependent upon their race. Just as it's not solely dependent upon their upbringing, social status, education, temperment, intelligence, etc. Biracial children are blessed because they get to experience two cultures. Two heritages. They are not forced into one. They get to see the world through multicolored lenses (no pun intended) and they get to view two different styles of family. They will see Caucasion values, as well as African American values. Two sets of values, two sets of morals, two sets of culture and two sets of heritage! 

  

Your attempt to call racism by another name is nothing more then sad. I'm not going to call you a racist. You are a seperatist. There is a difference, one that is very important to note. The man on the show started by calling blacks horrible, disgusting names (racist) and saying that they should be seperate from whites because they aren't as good. You seem to be saying that races should be seperate because they cannot share the same values, beliefs, etc. (seperatist). 

  

Open your eyes. The world around you is not black and white. Biracial children, on a individual level, suffer through no more teasing, no more hardship, then other children. They are not robbed of their identity, of their culture, and heritage. They are given the blessing of seeing the world through two different kinds of family. Different sets of tradition. 

  

The world is not black and white. And the people in it are all people. Whether you want to believe so or not. 

 
January 12, 2006, 12:33 pm CST

Racists

I think that what Dr. Phil did for Charlie's family is incredible!! 

I know that racism has been around forever, and it probably always will be- but even baby steps like this show can help change our world.  

It all comes down to ignorance and fear. People fear what they don't know, they fear what they are not familiar with, they fear what is different from their own "normal."  

If Charlie can open his mind and get over his racist upbringing and racist life, I truly believe that anyone can, that is, IF they want to. The people who can't change are people who don't want to change. 

 
January 12, 2006, 12:39 pm CST

01/12 Racism Experiment

Quote From: jenoc99

I think that what Dr. Phil did for Charlie's family is incredible!! 

I know that racism has been around forever, and it probably always will be- but even baby steps like this show can help change our world.  

It all comes down to ignorance and fear. People fear what they don't know, they fear what they are not familiar with, they fear what is different from their own "normal."  

If Charlie can open his mind and get over his racist upbringing and racist life, I truly believe that anyone can, that is, IF they want to. The people who can't change are people who don't want to change. 

You are so right. What I wonder is why some people want to hang on to their feelings of hate. What could it possible add that is positive to their lives.
 
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