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Topic : 01/16 Honeymoon's Over Follow-up

Number of Replies: 191
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, January 13, 2006, 02:16:30 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

They’re newlyweds, married only a short time, and already they're headed for divorce court. First, Michelle says she's not the only woman in her marriage. Her husband, Matthew, has many female friends whom she has never met. Should he give them up or did she make a promise she can't keep? Then, when Marlon and Shamika first appeared on the show, they were eight months newly wed and were on the verge of becoming newly divorced because of their constant fighting. Did they put Dr. Phil's advice to work and have things changed? Share your thoughts.


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January 16, 2006, 6:50 am CST

Shamika needs a reality check

I cannot believe the nerve of this woman.  She doesn't have a good thing to say about her husband.  I am currently engaged, and I tell you what....a relationship is 100/100...and if I were dressed and he wasn't and he asked me to grab something in the car for him, I would do it with no problem.  It sounds to me like no matter what Marlon does, he will never be good enough for her....Take one step forward and three thousand back.  Some people you can never satisfy....and she happens to be one of them.  How belittling it must be, to have your wife sit on national TV...and the only real thing she can say that he does good is provide for her and the kids.  I think Shamika just likes to berate and belittle people because it makes her feel good...and that makes her pathetic!
 
January 16, 2006, 7:50 am CST

i agree...

Quote From: smithtm

I cannot believe the nerve of this woman.  She doesn't have a good thing to say about her husband.  I am currently engaged, and I tell you what....a relationship is 100/100...and if I were dressed and he wasn't and he asked me to grab something in the car for him, I would do it with no problem.  It sounds to me like no matter what Marlon does, he will never be good enough for her....Take one step forward and three thousand back.  Some people you can never satisfy....and she happens to be one of them.  How belittling it must be, to have your wife sit on national TV...and the only real thing she can say that he does good is provide for her and the kids.  I think Shamika just likes to berate and belittle people because it makes her feel good...and that makes her pathetic!
i was thinking the same thing. well said.   get over yourself shamika, it could be alot worse.  
 
January 16, 2006, 7:53 am CST

Chronic Complainer

This woman has no clue how much she is ruining her own happiness.  He asks for very little and she refuses to validate all that he does do.  She is a chronic complainer and isn't likely to ever be satisfied 100% and she appears to be the type that 85% isn't enough.  She is going to loose him and have him resenting women as a result.   

  

Shamika, you need to straighten up and start recognizing the goodness that your husband possesses or your lack of ability to value him will cause you to lose him.   

 
January 16, 2006, 7:59 am CST

01/16 Honeymoon's Over Follow-up

Quote From: brobby

i was thinking the same thing. well said.   get over yourself shamika, it could be alot worse.  

  

Shamika is looking for perfection.  She should appreciate the fact that her man is trying, trying very hard to please and keep her.   She needs to give him more credit and be wiling to look at herself and see what she can do to meet his needs as well.  

  

She may find success in getting him to do what she wants, but if she doesn't give back, wind up losing him anyway.   Wake up girl!  Good men are hard to find, especially those who are willing to work hard for their relationship in this me, me, me world.   

 
January 16, 2006, 8:04 am CST

come on!

Dr Phil needs to put her in her place.It seems like this poor guy is talking all the blame
 
January 16, 2006, 8:16 am CST

Wake up Shamika!

I felt so sorry for Marlon.  He really seemed sincere about his feelings and what he wanted to happen in his relationship with Shamika.  She needs to appreciate him more because if she doesn't there will be someone out there that will.  I wanted to jump up and clap when Dr. P told Shamika that she had a good man....because Marlon is my dream hubby!  (Witty, sincere, has a JOB, and can sing!)
 
January 16, 2006, 8:21 am CST

Another perspective

How would Shamika feel if Marlon was the one doing the "bashing"?  if she thinks good men grow on trees, she needs to come sit by me.  It seems like I dated every, alcoholic, drug using, womanizing, no-working bum in the southeast before I met my husband.  After three years we have certainly had a few "differences of opinion" but we have never insulted or belittled each other.   

Is this the example she wants to set for her children?  It's okay to treat Daddy like a dog, he will just roll over and take it. 

I watch Dr. Phill religously and I am getting pretty tired of people with "anger isuues" thinking that it gives them a license to take it out on whoever is handy. 

  

 
January 16, 2006, 8:37 am CST

Shamika and Midnight shift self destructing

Quote From: smithtm

I cannot believe the nerve of this woman.  She doesn't have a good thing to say about her husband.  I am currently engaged, and I tell you what....a relationship is 100/100...and if I were dressed and he wasn't and he asked me to grab something in the car for him, I would do it with no problem.  It sounds to me like no matter what Marlon does, he will never be good enough for her....Take one step forward and three thousand back.  Some people you can never satisfy....and she happens to be one of them.  How belittling it must be, to have your wife sit on national TV...and the only real thing she can say that he does good is provide for her and the kids.  I think Shamika just likes to berate and belittle people because it makes her feel good...and that makes her pathetic!

I agree, she is a chronic complainer. I suspect that is what drove her childrens father away.  

  

Concernig her request to what would make her happy, by having Marion get the kids ready for school. WHAT the fruit is she doing working midnight shift. She complained about not seeing him enough, the chooses a shift that is sure to kill sex life.  

  

Checking acct, I have no problem with with separate checking accts, provided that the paychecks go into a joint acct. And that the seperate checking accts are for personal spending allowances.  

  

Poe 

 
January 16, 2006, 8:43 am CST

Michelle and Matthew

The Michelle/Matthew situation reminded me a lot of the situation with the couple last week in which the husband had female friends and the wife was uncomfortable. At least in that situation,  the wife had met the female friends and knew who they were. That makes a tremendous difference.  

  

I have to wonder if Matthew would feel the same if the shoe were on the other foot, if Michelle had male friends he had never met and that she "dropped in" to visit when she was in the neighborhood. I wonder if he would be so accepting it. I doubt it. 

  

The excuses that  these female "friends" all didn't come to his wedding for some reason or another, and "are too busy" to meet Michelle just smells bad to me. If these women are "just friends" then they would want to meet Michelle and get to know her. She's his wife and a big part of his life.  

  

I think it also said a lot that Matthew said he feels like he can talk to these "friends" about things he can't talk to Michelle about. That's when you turn to your wife and share your intimate thoughts. Those are the things that bind you together as a couple. Sharing that kind of intimacy with a female "friend" just isn't fair to your spouse.  

  

Hopefully, Matthew will introduce Michelle to these women and they can get through this. That would go a long way to making Michelle feel less insecure.  

 
January 16, 2006, 8:54 am CST

Matthew

This is the problem Matthew.  WHAT YOU TALK ABOUT!  Now when these ladies start asking you PERSONAL QUESTIONS about how your relationship with your wife is doing what do you say?  I mean if you talk about your wives negatives with them.... it is wrong.  You already mentioned you ran to help a friend who was breaking up with her man.... so they must be giving you advice about handling your issues with your lady?  Does your ex girlfriend ask you about your sex life? Comparisons?  This is only setting yourself up to have an affair although perhaps you haven't had one yet.  They will sympathize with you because they haven't heard her side of the story from her.  They have only heard yours so they will side with you.  A true friend will hear both sides of the story and try to help you back together.  Your single mom workin' 2 jobs is looking for someone and if she could get you.... she probably would....  ?  I don't think you should be talking about marital problems or differences with these women.  If you have something in common like?  liking hockey or reading or work or something general it's one thing....but if its problems... You got Dr Phil's advice and a boat load of books for sale in the library that could give you good advice.....
 
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