From my experience, Shamika’s attitude is very common nowadays. Many women I have come across feel that a relationship revolves solely around their wants and desires, especially educated, professional women. The man is only there to make them feel good. Yesterday, I was at church and was listening to a “good church woman” going on and on about all the qualities that she wanted from a man, and what she was willing and not willing to accept. However, when asked, she would not say what she was willing to do for this man, if she were to find him. It was all about her. You hear all the time, “ Where are all the good men?” However, when a good man is found, he is usually treated in the same manner that Marlon is being treated. There is no reciprocity. I admit there are a lot of jerks out there, but when a good man is found, he becomes the receptacle of all the crap that she has dealt with from other jerks in her life.
It seems that there are a lot of double standards now in relationships. The first and most classic is the attitude, “What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine,” with regards to finances. Many women want to criticize, but do not want to be criticized. They want to be romanced, but do not want to be romantic. They want to be pampered, yet do not want to pamper. They want to be treated like queens, but do not treat the men in their lives like kings. They want to judge, but do not want to be judged. They want to share responsibilities when it comes to traditional female roles, but have a list of what they believe to be men’s responsibilities. No one should ever expect anyone to give or do more in a relationship than they themselves are willing to give.
Finally, I see this same attitude with regards to friends (Michelle and her husband). I know women who have male friends, but say that they would not trust a man to have female friends. Why? Well, as a woman, they can have platonic male friends, but men are such dogs that they could never have a platonic female friend. If a man has a female friend, it will eventually lead to sex. It has to work both ways. There has to be mutual trust, respect and love for any relationship to work in the long haul. I know that this does not speak for all women, but in my experience, these attitudes are becoming more and more common in many women.
They’re newlyweds, married only a short time, and already they're headed for divorce court. First, Michelle says she's not the only woman in her marriage. Her husband, Matthew, has many female friends whom she has never met. Should he give them up or did she make a promise she can't keep? Then, when Marlon and Shamika first appeared on the show, they were eight months newly wed and were on the verge of becoming newly divorced because of their constant fighting. Did they put Dr. Phil's advice to work and have things changed? Share your thoughts.
